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Newly diagnosed at 62 and shocked

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My husband and I have been married 42 years and had sexual partners before then. I had one partner outside marriage , a regrettable one night stand, but that was 30+ years ago! My husband and I are very close and I really can’t imagine he ever had time for an external partner, and he says he hasn’t. We’ve been retired for a year and are always together. All I can figure out is that we brought it into our marriage (he, or I, or both), or I brought it in 30 years ago. I’ve read most people never know they have it. So why now? Can it really be dormant or go undetected that long?

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Hi Doglover.

Yes it can be dormant for decades. I know it may come as a shock. It was for me too.

I am in similar situation as yourself. Married long time nearly 30yrs. In good relationship. Had sexual encounters years ago before marriage and then stupid choice I made, I went outside my marriage years ago. Ugh.


I had an outbreak out of the blue in Feb.

I did post about it here so don't want to repeat the whole thing but you can find my story.


I believe for me the trigger to bring on the outbreak it could be hormone related. I'm heading into menopause.

Also stress can be a contributer. Anything can awaken the virus I suppose.

The main advice I see offered is to build immune system up, take the suggested herbs, vitamins, supplements etc.

and eat healthily and not to stress.

Easier said than done I know.






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Must be a baffling feeling to find out you've had something for years and not know..

For me, a sore appeared 2 days after and I knew something was up.

But I feel as though I can empathise with you, "I wish..that..I knew all I know now... when i was younger!" *side note- good song- listen to asap!

My mom at age 50 found out her constant sinus infections were cause of a nose fracture when she was an infant or toddler, she never knew she even had a fracture to begin with!?

It happened, don't know how, don't know why, but now she can deal with her sinus issues properly... aka - but now, You can deal with your body properly.

When "h" appears in our lives, it is overwhelming because of the significance it stands for: change.

A change occurred to your body, you are finding out now because now is the time to change yourself. What have you not done to yourself that has pissed your body off?

Did you forget to love yourself? - are you Happy? Energetic? Reflective? Powerful? Evolved? Soulful?

THAT is what herpes stands for. This is another wake up, and "Mama Gia isn't trying to hurt you, she is trying to guide you... "

What would someone who loved themselves do?

First, heal, mourn, reflect, then go out and let "h" empower you.

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It may be a wakeup call to start eating better and cut down on my 2 glasses/wine per day. I have a supportive husband who only wants me to feel better, and is not looking to lay blame anywhere. So that allows me to look forward, not back, and see how I can live my best, most healthy life. My husband and I like to ride bicycles, and have been taking annual bicycling vacations. I said to him, "how can we plan for vacations when I could have an outbreak at any time" (and not be able to sit on a bike seat!), but he is so optimistic.. he said, "no problem, you can just ride the SAG wagon" (for those that don't want to ride). So I do feel I have a supportive partner in this next phase of my life, and thanks to this forum and positive thoughts, I will do my best to use this as an opportunity for self-improvement.

I am surprised at how tired I feel during this outbreak. Energy when I first get up, then I just want to go back to bed for awhile. I tried walking yesterday (day 6) and was surprised that I got tired and even a little short of breath after a mile! Guess it is too early and I need to give my body the time it needs to heal.

I have a f/up appt with the MD for day 17 after my outbreak, but kind of dread it as I feel anyone outside of my marriage, including her, will be looking for whom to point fingers at (though she was very nice).

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@doglover Feel free to go back and read some of my posts, but I initially contracted HSV1 both orally and genitally 15 years ago! I had the first initial outbreak, thought my life was over, didn't really have an issue after that other than a cold sore or two over the next 15 years....always told partners I get cold sores, yada yada, and NOT ONE of them every contracted it from me....then fast forward 15, yes 15 years and starting this past winter I started having almost a 4 month continuous outbreak down there!


I was so scared I somehow contracted type 2 and that it was a new infection, but based on my past sexual history and monogamous relationship, that just didn't make sense. I still got tested 3, 5 and 7 1/2 months after the symptoms started for HSV2 just to make sure that wasn't the case and all 3 tests came back negative.


After speaking with many women and joining this forum...the reality is that this stinker of a virus really can lay dormant for years and even decades and I think for us women, changes in our hormones can be the number 1 trigger to set it into motion.


I'm almost 40 and for sure my body is going through a lot of changes and they have triggered the sleeping monster.


I promise things WILL get better. For 4 months I was distraught, depressed, didn't want to have sex and felt constant burning/irritation down there...took meds for 3 months daily which, combined with more rest, less alcohol and supplements and avoiding stress seemed to slowly help things resolve.


Here's a couple things that seemed to help me that I would recommend:

(I hope anyone reading this post also tries some of these suggestions to see if over time it helps!! Remember though - supplements are NOT meds and they usually take 2 months to build up in your body to start affecting your health...so be patient!)


Vitamin C - You can't take too much!!!!! Get a good 1,000mg pill and take 2-3 in the morning with breakfast and 2-3 in the evening with dinner. I've read that large doses of vitamin C (up to 10,000mg DAILY) can really do wonders for the immune system.


St John's Wort - This is supposed to help with nerve health. You can take it daily for a couple months at a time, then take break for a month. I get the little homeopathic pellets that dissolve under your tongue.


Coconut Oil - I used this religiously and put it all over my lady parts whenever I was having an outbreak or irritation. It's also amazing to ingest and I would put a teaspoon in my coffee every morning. There's a component called Monolaurin that's in coconut oil that medically has been shown to be able to break down the lipid coating of the virus, which leaves the exposed virus available for our immune system to break down.


If you can, start taking 500mg of valtrex once a day - it made me really tired and sometimes gave me a headache so I took it at night before bed, but that will also help you body to get the viral load in check.


It's been 6 months since I started having the "second big HSV1 genital outbreak" and the first 3 months were a constant state of pain and depression but the last 3 months things have been getting better and better week by week. I no longer have the constant irritation/outbreak symptoms and only have been suffering some some intense itching that comes and goes randomly. A huge improvement.


I'm so happy your partner is supportive and mine is as well... he also has HSV1 which made it very easy to disclose and talk about.


Sending you love and blessings and remember... our body's also react so much to stress, so laugh, play, smile and think happy thoughts! :)

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