newtothis22

I've read a lot about the transmission rates for HSV-2 but I never see much about the rates for HSV-1. Does anyone know more about the rates of transmission for HSV-1, oral or genital? I am unsure where mine is located and only found out due to a blood test to ease my worries but unfortunately it didn't do that because HSV-1 on a blood test doesn't tell me much. I still wish to disclose though by explaining I carry this strain but some statistics to go with it would help. If anyone knows them or of any useful websites then it would be much appreciated. Thanks

After reading many of the successful disclosure threads, it has made me slightly more confident for when the time comes. I'm just unsure how to disclose my particular "situation" since it isn't just a case of genital herpes. This is my "situation" - Diagnosed with one very small genital wart in November, frozen off and hasn't returned. Had some white heads appear on my penis after unprotected sex, worried this could be an outbreak of existing herpes so opted for a private blood test. The results came back HSV-2 negative but HSV-1 positive, but when I told the nurse about my outbreak she told me she doesn't think it's genital and likely oral from childhood. I've had multiple visits to the clinic for every little symptom but never has any doctor told me they suspect herpes and therefore no swabs. I don't recall having cold sores but my dad has always had them, I have had a lot of spots above my lip lately though. I also get red spots around my pubic area that don't seem to go away. I just don't know how to explain this to someone without it taking forever and scaring them over two incurable STIs. While there's a chance it could be, it may also be a case of HPV that has already left my body and oral HSV-1 that 80% of people carry anyway. Yet I am still terrified of dating again!! Does anyone have any advice for me? Thanks

22 y/o male here from England. Carry both HPV and HSV-1 and would like someone to talk to, no real preference on age/gender just someone who can emphasis with my situation whether they carry one or both viruses. Feel free to drop me a message anytime, I'm very responsive 🙂

@alllgood Feel free to message me if you want someone to talk to 😊

Thanks for your reply @Amando and you're right if I do ever get them again I'll go straight to the clinic but it's unlikely they would swab them anyway because at every clinic appointment I've been to they haven't even mentioned this could be herpes and dismiss it when I suggest the possibility. However I chose to take a private blood test for my own peace of mind. Very true 😂 But you're correct I feel that it is so common people in the UK people don't even see it as an issue when it comes to sex, before I did my research I had no idea that cold sores even meant herpes! Thanks again, It's great to have an active member in this forum and it looks like you're helping a lot of people, big respect 😃

I've just had my igG blood test results back, negative for HSV-2 and positive for HSV-1. The nurse explained that 80% of people carry the HSV-1 virus so it's not surprising I am positive, especially since my father has always had cold sores. I told her about my symptoms I believed to be genital, the red spots and itching but she doesn't believe this means I have it genitally. She said this is likely to be bacterial and could be linked to my molluscum etc, since I haven't always been hygienic by using the same towel multiple times etc. Since I have never had any blisters/sores and therefore cannot be swabbed this is as far as I can take it in terms of testing. I feel like I've done all that I can. Still a little worried of course when it comes to dating since I already carry HPV from a genital wart and I also know that HSV-1 can be transmitted orally to genitally so unsure what the protocol would be when disclosing etc. Has anyone else been in a similar situation and how do you deal with this? I'm just relieved to finally know my herpes status after all these months of worry.

Six months ago I had the best life, living in London with loads of friends and big on the dating scene. I was seeing someone who was shortly leaving so that relationship was fizzling out and at a party I met someone else. We instantly clicked and I felt a massive connection so we began seeing each other until my fixed term job contract came to an end and I had to move away. But we stayed in touch and met up since we were waiting until September when we'd be living closer again. Between this time I developed possible herpes symptoms so I told both her and the girl I was seeing before, they both got checked and the girl from before was told she may have herpes. She had a blood test which came back indeterminate but was told this showed recent exposure which could only be from me. However when I was checked they told me the symptoms weren't herpes and wouldn't do a blood test. I still felt that if she eventually comes back positive then it must be me so I am an asymptomatic carrier. I had to tell the current girl I was seeing and she was understanding until I was forced to admit there was a slight overlap in dating between both girls. I didn't meant for it to happen but it's just the way it was and after explaining she did forgive me and understand. But I was going through a hard time with other things too and eventually she put an end to things. Looking back at the messages I don't think she wanted things to end and I should've fought harder for her but with everything going on I just let her go. After a terrible month of feeling like I'd lost everything and had no future, the first girl's latest blood test came back negative. She told me the first test must've been in error so I had no reason to believe I carried the virus. Around the same time the girl I lost sent me a friendly message to see how I am and at this point I should've won her back. But instead I was so pleased to be clean and was heading to University soon I decided to leave it for the time being. When I got to University I went out a lot, posted a lot over social media with other girls and got back on the dating scene. Then one night I got really drunk and slept with someone unprotected, a few days later symptoms appeared, white heads, rashes and general irritation. I went to the clinic the following week and they found a genital wart, I was devastated. I now have to live with HPV and probably herpes with the sex triggering an outbreak since I've had pretty much every symptom minus actual blisters. I will do a blood test in the new year and find out for certain. I feel that I've lost my shot of happiness all because I wanted to carry on the casual lifestyle that I didn't even enjoy. I had my second chance in September and I blew it so now I'm facing the reality of living with two incurable STI's. I'm only 22 yet I've lost the only girl I've ever felt a proper connection with and I can't see anyone ever wanting to be with me again. I'm not looking forward to 2019 because all I feel that is ahead is pain, when girls show an interest all I can do is turn them away because I'm too ashamed to tell them and I can't see that changing. Sorry for the long winded message but I would appreciate having someone to talk to so feel free to message me or post a reply.

It’s probably the stress linked to having HSV-2 causing you to break out since I’m sure it can’t be actual herpes on your chin

@Anonymous88 I don't think I can just wait and see if they come up again because I think about it on a daily basis and it's really getting in the way of my studying and overall quality of life. It could be the stress but I'm getting a lot of spots, on my face and around my lip as well as near my pubic area (but nothing that can be swabbed). Have you heard of letsgetchecked.com because they offer an at home blood test for herpes which isn't too expensive and tells me if it's HSV-1 or HSV-2, I feel like at this point it's my best bet because I can't cope not knowing anymore. You are definitely not alone in this it's just the stigma and the fact so many people are unaware they carry the virus due to little or no symptoms. It does affect your life in a big way and it sucks that it can damage your chance of future relationships but it doesn't mean you have to give up. It may take longer but there are billions of people out there it's just about finding the right one.

@Anonymous88 The red spots have almost gone so I won’t be able to have them swabbed. I just have a feeling I do have herpes because I can’t think what else it could possibly be and if I don’t have any sort of test it will just eat away at me like it already is. I’m sorry to hear your story - it sounds like he was very careless. I’ve noticed an absence of men on this website and it makes me wonder whether they choose to ignore their symptoms or even diagnosis. I would love to pretend none of this is happening (the HPV included) but I would feel too guilty putting someone else at risk. How are you feeling about everything now? Have you been with anyone else since? I worry about how things will be for me in future with disclosure because I’ve never had trouble getting girls in the past so I’m not used to rejection. If I do end up having two STIs I’m not sure I could even bring myself to disclose and wouldn’t date altogether.

@Anonymous88 Thanks for your reply. I was diagnosed with mollusum back in summer and I agree they are really stubborn and one had remained until this month. Of course I was also diagnosed with warts but my other symptoms were not explained and it was all triggered through sex. Although they’re small red spots and not blisters I’m still concerned because herpes can have little/no symptoms. Can I ask how you were first diagnosed?

I live in the UK and the only way they test for herpes is through a swab test. I had small white headed dots appear on and around my penis after sex recently which I also had several months ago but at the time it was diagnosed as molluscum. These seemed different though since they came and went within a week which meant by the time I got an appointment they were gone. I did however also have a genital wart so this was diagnosed and frozen at the appointment. They could not comment on the other symptoms because they were almost gone. The next day one of the red spots (just above my hip) turned into a boil which filled with puss, I think the elastic from my belt agitated it. I went to the doctors and told them I was worried it is herpes but the nurse confidently said it wasn't and prescribed me antibiotics. Everything is healing now and soon I'll be back to normal (minus the HPV). The question is whether I should still find out whether I have herpes by paying for a blood test. I'm not sure I can just leave it given all the symptoms I've experienced: - Back in summer I also had small white headed dots on and around my penis but these were diagnosed as molluscum - During this time a previous partner from the US was told she might have been exposed to herpes by me through a equivocal blood test but months later it came back negative - After recent unprotected sex symptoms came up hours later (aware it won't be a new infection but could be an outbreak triggered by the sex) - My lips often get small red spots or white heads above them Given this information I feel like I should get tested but I'm not sure how I can get a reliable test here in the UK. There are home test kits but I don't think they give exact iGG levels or tell you if it's oral/genital. But I also found that private clinics use the same method so it doesn't make a difference if I go in or not. Does anyone know of any reliable ways I can test for herpes in the UK which won't cost me a fortune? Thanks

Sorry to hear you have both. Warts can be very persistent and easily spreadable so it would be best to get them looked at as soon as you can. Mine were diagnosed just by looking at them and I had them frozen but the doctor didn’t make a big deal out of it or even mention future implications. I think this is because they are so common and don’t cause pain like herpes. I’m in a situation like yours except I’m waiting to find out if I carry herpes. I’ve resisted getting a blood test until my warts and other symptoms clear but I know putting it off doesn’t make things any easier. I am a 22 year old male and also struggling to cope with this but all I can think is life does go on and you have to deal with obstacles head on.

@sarahsfocus I’d have to pay for a blood test and it’s quite expensive so I’d prefer a swab test if any more white heads appear. Plus a blood test can’t distingush between oral and genital so I don’t want to be left even more confused than I was. It’s a tricky one!

@blurneworder I'm still unsure, I've not been told my symptoms are herpes-like by the doctor and haven't been asked to take a test it's just my own worries that are pushing me towards one

Reading this really helped me, I am in my early twenties and have always either been in a relationship or seeing/speaking to someone as a way of validating myself. When I was feeling lonely on a weekend I would arrange a date through a hook up app, even if the girl wasn't my type I would still go and even spend the night with her just for company. I even found myself in relationships with people I didn't particularly click with because it felt good to have someone. Like @Victory_in_Defeat I found myself drawn to someone, a new housemate who I instantly knew I liked as soon as she first walked through the door. I enjoyed spending time with her and felt a connection but I was never sure if the feelings were reciprocated so I kept my distance and told myself "when the time was right". But after a drunken night I made a big mistake and slept with her friend in some weird act of jealously. I felt terrible the next day but surprisingly it lead to her admitting she liked me back. Hearing those words felt amazing and everything had finally come together. This was until the symptoms began... Red spots, rashes, warts and even an ulcer. I freaked out but I knew I had brought it on myself but had to deal with the consequences so after a week of panicking I went to the sexual health clinic. I have genital warts which will need to be frozen and I'm seeking a blood test for herpes which I believe I may have already carried due to previous misdiagnosed symptoms. Due to all of this I feel it is not right to pursue anything further with her, I had my chance before that night and wasted it. She's a great girl who deserves all the happiness in the world without someone carrying STIs. Of course I still live with her but I hope we can still share a great friendship and I can be happy for her when she meets someone else. For now I will take the advice of Keanu Reeves and take care of myself. There is more to life than sex and I only need to find one person out of all those billions to fall in love and share a family with. The time will come but for now it's all about focusing on myself. Thanks

I know a lot of women who have faced this and they do manage to clear off the virus. My HPV is actually caused by genital warts, it’s low risk but it does mean another STI. Are you in a relationship or dating? I’m a 22 year old male and I wasn’t looking for anything serious but I would go on regular dates resulting in hook ups, of course this now has to change and I don’t know how to adjust. If I have HSV I’m not sure I’ll date again because telling someone you have one STI is enough let alone two.

I’ve just been diagnosed with HPV but I’m also showing HSV symptoms as well so this may be the case for me as well when I get the results. How are you coping?

@Jenn88 Which strain of HPV do you have? There are multiple and only a few cause genital warts @sarahsfocus They don’t do a HPV blood test, just a smear test for females but this is to detect the high risk HPV which can cause cancer. Bit of a tricky one because I don’t know whether to disclose in years to come like “I had a genital wart 5 years ago” when the virus is most likely gone and most people carry it anyway. But if I have herpes too disclosing both will be very difficult :(

@sarahsfocus Well they found a genital wart which shows I have HPV, I think the virus can clear from the body but I will never know if I still carry it or not because they don’t test it in men I was just diagnosed by symptoms

@Jenn88 @sarahsfocus You’re both right it’s good to know your status despite there being so many people walking around oblivious to the fact they carry the virus giving it to people like me. @Uklad I agree that I would just leave it as that but knowing I already have HPV which will affect future relationships I may as well find out if I carry HSV as well. It’s come at a difficult time, final year of studies and just finding out the girl I like actually likes me back but being unable to do anything because of my diagnosis. Therefore I think I’ll need all the help I can get. Thanks for the kind words.

After having sex the other week I started having STI symptoms including red spots and rashes and white heads on my penis. There wasn’t really any pain but it was a little uncomfortable. I then spotted a wart too. I’ve been to the clinic today and the nurse said I have warts and froze them but she couldn’t comment on the other symptoms because the white heads had popped and already began healing. Herpes wasn’t mentioned but I worry that these could have been a symptom. I’m aware it takes longer to show up once exposed but maybe I already carried it and the sex triggered an outbreak? I had what I thought was herpes in summer too but the doctor diagnosed it as Molluscum. The NHS doesn’t provide a blood test free of charge so the only way of knowing would be to take one privately but even then I wouldn’t be able to tell if it was oral or genital herpes. So is it worth me taking one anyway? My fear is that if I disclose to a girl that I previously had warts, she understood but then caught herpes from me as well then I would feel terrible. The thought of having two incurable STIs scares me but what scares me even more is the thought of passing them on to someone.

@sarahsfocus I am going tomorrow because I need to know once and for all what I have. The symptoms have started clearing up over the weekend but I still have what I believe is a genital wart so I will ask them about that and the possibility of herpes as well. I’m scared and my anxiety is through the roof but it’s worse not knowing my status. I just hope I get the help and support I need because I’m in my final year of university and I don’t want to fail because of this.

That sounds like an awful experience but I think you moved things too fast by going back to his place after the first date. However if you do hear from him again then it could give you the chance to explain things. You’re right that there is a large stigma attached to it and people aren’t educated on it, a lot of the people who reject those with H probably have it themselves without realising it. If you don’t feel ready to tell him but want to see him again then go on another date and take things slow. Only tell him when you’re ready and give him a chance to process it. It will take longer to find someone with H but once you find someone caring and understanding enough then it will be worth the wait. There are billions of people in this world and there will be someone out there who is just right for you.

@Ishmael True but perhaps I already had herpes and the sex triggered an outbreak. Just unsure what else it could be other than the molluscum I previously had but the symptoms were completely different