Lovenhope

Reaching out for advice. I was given hsv through a sexual assult. About a year ago I met a wonderful guy who changed my perspection on both traumas that took place in my life. Only problem was that after disclosing we kinda automatically fell into this deep "I care about you alot" stage. And missed the flirty/getting to know you stage. Long story short, anytime we would have sex I automatically got super insecure and shut down. My mind automatically went to "this is how you got yourself in that situation in the first place. You're disgusting" mindset. And would make sex extremely weird and hot in sync. I feel like it was a tender subject to even talk about because it made me have so much anxiety thinking I'm going to lose him, and I feel like he was afraid to bring it up cuz it was a tender subject to me. We ended up breaking up and I feel like that had a huge part do it. Looking to see how I can grow and hopefully get him back one day. Any suggestions on getting past that? Enjoying sex again? Gaining the confidence back?

Currently on 500mg of valtrex and was given a prescription for 1000mg for OB. Dr said I could even just double up on my current prescription if needed or on vacation and was having symptoms. Just wanted to see what everyone thought on this. Do you take 2 at the same time instead of 1 for 10 days? Or do you take one in the morning and one at night? What do you believe works best/quickest?

After a weekend of internal anger, a discussion began with the person I am seeing. I haven't told him anything yet, but knows I'm not ready for sex and has respected that. In our discussion we talked about trust and being with each other. I told him that I am currently waiting until the 4 month mark to make sure I am all clear. I have held off on telling him because I still don't know exactly if it's 1 or 2. And I want to make sure I have all my facts before sharing it completely. And we got into the fear of possibly being positive. I gave him some of the facts like how it's really just a skin condition, with medication and protection it's a 1% chance of transmission. He knew a little bit about it with knowing that 80% of the population has it. Just wanted to get thoughts on disclosing in this way.

I feel the exact same way. Had a complete melt down and am so angry at so many things. I think I'm most angry at the fact that there isn't a cure yet. I get it it's "difficult" and tricky to figure out. But bottom line is there's not much funding cuz most people, who don't have it, believe it's a big deal. I still remember my doctor telling me "I'm not sure why you're so upset. This won't change hour life. You can still get married and have kids You're upset like you lost a family member." And my response was . I did lose someone... I feel like I just lost myself. I don't know if I'll ever have my happiness back until it's gone. To be honest without my counselor and this forum I'd probably be dead right now. It's so frustrating that this diagnosis causes such psychological pain. I'm right there with the both of you. I hope we can lean on each other through this.

Don't mean to always be the negative one in here, as there are so many people enjoying their life even with H. just curious how people let go of the anger. I've had this now since November and am continuously anxious and angry about life. I contracted it through a sexual assult so I get that plays a big part of this. I'm so angry at myself for even giving that person a chance, angry at science because how is it even possible there isn't a cure for this yet in this day in age, angry that this is the one thing holding me back from fully opening up and being with someone I really care about because I know he won't be able to see past it. He brings up being a germaphobe often. I'm in counseling because of this and because of suicidal thoughts all because this . Even though "it's not a big deal, it's a skin rash, there a worse things to deal with in life, there will be people who accept it". All of those things just make me even more upset and angry because none of that crap matters when the world is only focused on the stigma. "The stigma is worse than H itself" sure, but that stigma is what has made me have suicidal/negative life to for 6 months now. Don't know how to get my life back. 😞

Would love to have mentor/someone to go. I'm new to this and completely lost with life now.

Any advice. New to this all. Have read to avoid shaving as much as possible. Any secrets or tricks? Terrified to do anything anymore. 😞

Following. Would love the same. Would love to have a mentor/go to person to talk through alot of this since drs seem to not really care or think it's a big deal.

Started researching into the anti-inflammatory diet after reading about someone using it and how well it has worked keeping OBs at a minimum. While looking at some meal plans, I noticed that it encourages the use of collagen powder mixed into some food. Any thoughts? Experience? I know it's supposed to be good for skin and hair, but not sure if anyone has had it cause more OB. Thanks.

My heart goes out to you. No one should ever ever ever have to go through the loss of a family member. It's just not fair. You are all in my prayers tonight. We all deserve someone to lift us out of this darkness. was also finally in the gym and getting back up from a rough and long over due break up. Funny how life seems to work. 😞 Hope it is nothing but up for all of us.

If it wasn't for my parents being the amazing people they are and finding this forum to talk to people like you and the rest of us here who get that our feelings aren't actually irrational and "crazy" or "dramatic" like I've been told from non positive people (my Dr.) I honest don't know where I'd be. Thank you for your thoughts. You mention prayer. Just out of curiosity has H make you question your spirituality? That's another area I've been struggling. Thanks to everyone here btw.

I've had it since November of this year... Unfortunately I received it through a sexual assult from someone who clearly didn't give a shit to stop or protect me and my feelings. The first and only people who know the entire thing are my parents. I am very greatful to have the parents I have. Because without them I would've ended my life over this. It took me about a week to just get enough strength/mindset to get off their couch. But the crying and extreme roller coaster of very very low emotions haven't changed. I see a counselor every week, and she's amazing. But unfortunately I don't know think I'm ever going to be "ok" with any of this.

I agree. I am really trying to push through this, but feeling extremely down and don't know how to get past it. I was always a positive person and always was hopeful that everything will work out. But currently feel like I'm worthless, gross, and forever alone.

The only person I know of is a guy from high school that when anyone sees at the bar always says "yeah he's a great guy but stay away cuz he has H". I know it's an ignorant comment and I am guilty for having that mindset in the past. But it's just so frustrating that something so "simple" and non harmful.... Cause this much emotional distress and cause people to feel like they don't deserve to live anymore. Why can't they just figure out a damn cure already. 😞

Thanks 100918. Can I ask how you got the confidence to even tell him? It literally makes me sick just thinking of having to talk about it. They say so many people have it, yet I know 0. I don't know how anyone is going to accept me or be able to look past this.

Feeling the same way right now with you. Why does something that they say isn't a big deal, harmless to almost everyone, can still live a normal life, cause so much emotion and pain. Why does this one thing make people feel so worthless. Everyone says it gets better, but they also say it's a tough journey but does it really get any? Never hated myself n my life so much then I do with this.

As I've been reading for endless amount of hours on how to get past, accept, and have a normal life back, I've seen so much on how food effects this entire thing. I've seen to avoid coffee, workout, eat healthy. Just wanted to get some thoughts of the trustful people here. Coffee? Thoughts? Is there a better replacement to not be dead tired all the time? Before my situation took place, I was in the gym 5 days a week, found preworkout and protein that I really liked and had my routine down. Since the situation I've been afraid that the pre-workout will cause an outbreak, coffee will make it worse, and high intensity workouts will cause an outbreak. Thoughts? Experience? Suggestions?

Thanks. I really appreciate everyone's support here. That's all I've been doing the past 4-5 months is just constantly trying to breath. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to have helped very much. The more and more I read about h, the more i see that it's not a big deal. However, not very many people out there think the same. Terrified of being alone forever and feel like I no longer have a purpose in life because all I wanted was to be married, have kids, be a family and I feel like that has now been ripped away just for the fact that I don't think anyone is going to be able to look last that :'(. How have you accepted it? Dealt with it?

Thanks. It definitely does. Every time I start to feel like I'm informed I end up finding something that makes my anxiety about it all sky rockets right back up. 😞 Ugh. Thanks though

So from what I thought I've read over and over is that the chances to transmission to someone else or another part of your body from towels or clothing is very slim correct? I recently read something about having to wash all towels or clothes using bleach or other stuff in order to get clothes completely clean. Is regular detergent not enough to get rid of the virus on towels or underwear? Have been trying to lower my anxiety about all of this, yet reading that just made it sky rocket right back up. 😞

I'm currently on a daily dose of 500mg. I didn't know there's an impact on kidneys. So if this is a life dose, it'll eventually cause kidney issues? 😕 as far as seeing someone. I transmitted this through a sexual assult. And have been seeing a counselor since then to deal with it all. She's amazing but still feel like unless you're dealing with it you don't really truely understand. It's so easy for others to be like "someone who loves you won't care" when the reality is that you have to tell people before the are "in love" with you. And the whole concept of "if they reject you they are rejecting the virus not you" well yeah true, but that sucks even worse knowing that it could've worked out if this one thing wasn't there. again thank you all of the suggestions and advice I really don't know where I'd be without this forum. ❤️

Thank you so much for all the advice. I'm on valtrex now and read on another forum from a person who had similar issues that they took a double dose right before/during their period even if symptoms were not there just to keep it from happening. Not sure if that's a good choice or not. Thanks for the suggestion on the soap I will have to give that a try. Trying really hard to get to the other side of this and find my calm happy life again but feel like dr's don't always really get it and feel like I just needs mentor. So I really appreciate both of your advice! ❤️

Still attempting to wrap my head around this entire thing. Need some girl to girl advice. What does everyone use to wash on a daily basis. I feel like I've been super scared to use anything that will cause an outbreak, yet want to make sure to keep things clean. Also, any suggestions or anyone else out there that seems to get an outbreak a few days before their period? It makes me spiral back down every month just when I think I can do this, this really isn't a big deal. Any suggestions and support would be great! ❤️

First of all I am not sure where I'd be without finding this forum. This continues to be a huge roller coaster of emotion for me mostly because of the giver being my attacker at the same time. Was diagnosed in November and have been trying to focus on getting back to "normal" again. Been trying to keep the hope that it'll all be ok soon and that I couldn't have done anything to stop my giver/assulter. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, after taking the advice from my counselor to just go outnand date. Not worry about telling people. met someone online. We started talking and met up for dinner. Found out we have common friends, and this automatically made me spiral down again. My brain Automatically went to thinking "great. He knows so and so and they know everyone I know. I'm going to have eto tell him and if he rejects me he's going to share that information with all of those people" 😞 my counselor reassured me to take it day by day. Took her advice and we now hung out 2 days this past week and have been texting daily. I guess just need support in disclosing at some point in the future. He has made some comments that has made me terrified to disclose. (Like being super conservative, not that ppolitical views make me think differently just worried he won't be open minded. And mentioned having super sensitive skin.) I understand the importance of not making it seem like a big deal and having statistics...but nowHowu get the condidence? And I know..everyone keeps saying "they aren't rejecting you they are rejecting the virus"... Still hurts like hell.... My hearlrt hurts knowing that this stupid thing could ruin this. 😞 Any support would be helpful.

What did you say? Trying to plan one out for future use m. But can't ever think of how to tell someone 😕