Aimee (previously baffled1

Wscdancer2010, he is already paying and will continue to pay. When itsfine and he is court ordered, he wont break that because he would be in contempt of court. He won't want that problem.

Wcsdancer2010, i have to agree with on your thoughts about my ex. he is part socoipath, narissistic, and passive/aggressive. Those are things that can not be fixed in a person for they are personality traits ( ex socoipath). Becuase of him, im able to recognize those traits in people/a guy pretty quickly. as emptah, people like him target people like me and use the fact that i am empathic against me.Its just disturbing how someone/him cares so little for someone else when they take the right of choice away. I guess that is my present demon is this battle. like you mentioned in an earlier post, he still has a hold in some way. the truth is even when everything settles in court, this man istied to me til on of 3 things happen: 1. A cure is found. 2. when he dies, and/or 3 when i die. Wow, what a thought right? ...lol i beleive there will be a cure for H in the next few years.

Thanks, for the warm thoughts. I appreciate them all . Its just the to grasp that there are people/him that malicous to take my right of choice away and endanger my life. thisisgoing to beokay: im glad it is working for you.:) i remember your post about it when it happen.

Try Aloe vera in oil form, i got some from whole foods and it was 98% aloe. used it with vitamin E oil. tea tree had no effect.

Here is it Xmas night, family time is over and im all alone. Why am i alone? because i cant bring myself to date, or even think about dating. WHAT GIVES SOMEONE/HIM THE RIGHT TO TAKE MY RIGHT OF; CHOICE AWAY? WHAT GIVES SOMEONE/HIM THE RIGHT TO PLAY GAMES WITH MY LIFE AND MY HEALTH????? who died and made him, God?? No excuse. there is never and no good excuse to put someone else/me at risk without knowledge.This is what makes me the angerest about having H. it would be different if he didnt know, but not telling me, is irresponsible, selfish, malice, and evil.when he says" but ilove u and care about u, i didnt wanna lose u". It makes me cringe. because if you care and/or love someone u NEVER put them at risk with out their knowledge. I would say to him, " thats not love,care ect its evil cruel and selfish. if you (him) had any kind of heart, you would have told me" How am I suppose to date, have relationship? i would never do the inhumane thing of not disclosing to someone first. I cant even say the word of my diagnosis if i were talking about it. Am I angry, hurt, devastated? As sure and as much as the Earth turns on its axis.Who would want to date, have relationship with someone who has H when they could be with someone who doesnt???? I guess this is one of the down moments (although i mean every word of this) and/or distressed moments I end this rant on a positive note; with a Merry Christmas.

Here is it Xmas night, family time is over and im all alone. Why am i alone? because i cant bring myself to date, or even think about dating. WHAT GIVES SOMEONE/HIM THE RIGHT TO TAKE MY RIGHT OF; CHOICE AWAY? WHAT GIVES SOMEONE/HIM THE RIGHT TO PLAY GAMES WITH MY LIFE AND MY HEALTH????? who died and made him, God?? No excuse. there is never and no good excuse to put someone else/me at risk without knowledge.This is what makes me the angerest about having H. it would be different if he didnt know, but not telling me, is irresponsible, selfish, malice, and evil.when he says" but ilove u and care about u, i didnt wanna lose u". It makes me cringe. because if you care and/or love someone u NEVER put them at risk with out their knowledge. I would say to him, " thats not love,care ect its evil cruel and selfish. if you (him) had any kind of heart, you would have told me" How am I suppose to date, have relationship? i would never do the inhumane thing of not disclosing to someone first. I cant even say the word of my diagnosis if i were talking about it. Am I angry, hurt, devastated? As sure and as much as the Earth turns on its axis.Who would want to date, have relationship with someone who has H when they could be with someone who doesnt???? I guess its safe to say this is one of down moments (although i mean word of my rant) or bad moments? I end this rant on a positive note; with a Merry Christmas.

HenrytheHerp, THANK U; THANK U, and Thank you. finally someone else who acknowledges the fact that disclosing before intimacy isnt just a moral and responible obligation but LEGAL!!!! There has been resistance with/to me but im taking my ex to court. he knew for years he has both and never revealed he had for over 2yrs. this is not fun to deal with. Shame on him and anyone else who doesnt disclose before hand. No one wants to be rejected and everyone has the right to choose. So here it is Xmas night, alone, single, and an emotional disaster because i cant get past the "Why me? Who gave him right to take my right of choice away? Who gave him the right to put my life, my health in danger? Who gave him the right to destroy/alter my life forever?" how will I ever be able to date? Because of my family, coming out is not an option. Whats worse, he knew i ever other medical issues that will for sure complicate and make dealing with H for my body worse.

tryingtosmile, although i didnt have any pain, just some discomfort and a lot of redness. its trial and error on home treatments. i tried trea tree oil and it mademe have more redness. i did havesome mild succes wuth alor vera oil; 98% aloe

tryingtosmile, perhaps this will give you a new different perspective on how you approach guys, sex etc. you dont have to tell everybody you know and dont know you have it (if you do). Only someone your gonna be intimate with would have to tell. I spent the majority of my life in committed relationships, so the casual sex of todays world was never any option and could never be one. in my eyes, this is what casual sex means to me, 1night stands, friends with benifits, type stuff as the meaning could different to someone else. so not much will change in my approach to guys and relationships but what i will change and will be not negotiable, perhaps this may help you too; 1. I will take even longer than I already did before becoming intimate. 2. the guy must go get tests for everything and show his results before i disclose to him. ( no taking his word for it) Having HSV, can make you more subseptable to other things since it effects the immune system. 3. he will have to sign a confidentially agreement before i disclose to him . BUT this because of the on going court case I have with my ex on him knowingly exposing/giving me herpes without my knowledge and one of the stipulations that was put in it. So I have to do to the confidentality agreement. By taking even more time to get to know someone, you will get to see his true person and character. So when I, or you enter a relationship again, it will have deeper meaning and connection than before. You feel alone because of the stigma that is attached to it and because it is not talked about it. Most people dont even know they have it and thats 1 reason why its being spread so easily. People who know take more precautions to protect their partners because they are aware. Its not included in standard STD testing despite that people think it is. Why is it not? probably because testing can be expsensive. Insurance compaies dont want to pay for it and/or the medications since some of those os expensive.. Well thanks to Obama care, medications are covered and tests are too, But a person still has to ask for them.

tryingtosmile, Take a deep breathe!! As for the guy calling you names, it just shows in immaturity, insecurity, and stupidity. If he thought you were so "disgusting", what does that make him? Considering he was once your partner. Whether you have it or not, you can find help, understanding, and comfort here. I was recently diagnosed and got it from an ex who was incredibly decietful and malicious about it. im 39yrs old and was never/will never be a person that sleeps around. This condition is an equal opportunity infection; doesnt discriminate, so it doesnt matter its was a persons 1st time or 20th time. if you learn you do have it, you are young with your whole life ahead you. you can and will find a great guy who will love you for you, get married, and have beautiful babies. A friend of mine for 20yrs was your age, 20, when she got it from her 2nd boyfriend. She dated after that still, none of which had herpes. Five years after her diagnosis, she met a guy, got married, and had 2 kids. they have been together/married for about 15yrs. She has herpes but he does not still. There are many other stories like my friends' story. just a though sweetie. just because a person goes on a herpes dating site doesnt mean you will find the right person. If the person is right for you, herpes or no herpes, it wont matter whether you meet. i hope i have said something that is helpful to you. i will pray you have it. please let us know your outcome

Vita, As read your post and listen to your story, it parallels my story. maybe we can learn/grow from each others' story. I have it because my ex knew he had HSV1 & 2, never told me before we were intimate; withheld his status on purpose for the same reasons. In fact only admitted it after i had some mysterious symptoms out of the blue in Oct. We had been split up since May at this time. two weeks ago I learned from he had sex with me a week or before my symptoms show when i was so drunk i have no memory of much that night. ( He knew he could have been viral shedding at that time). It is absolutely devastating for someone you trust, care about, and had loved to betray your trust with a lie. its even harder when its lie that affects a persons' health. As I read your words on what he said after you told, it was exactly what I said to him. Im angry, hurt, devastated by what he did; taking my right of choice away. At least for me, my ex having herpes wouldnt have been an issue if he would have told me, talked it, and further educate him, me, and as one at that time. (because i didnt know what a horrible person he is, (liar, cheater, abusive) Its all about the lie/deception. i commend for offering to cover his medical! He is covering my medical and counseling and wil be for the rest of my natural life. he is doing it because we are going to court. in my state, Louisiana, its a crime to withhold any status of a communicable disease from a potiental partner. taking him to court is the only way i can ensure he does and continues. if i wasnt taking him, he wouldnt do it. so again, i totally commend for offering right off the back. His reasons for not telling were the same as yours and he thought it would make me stay with him if I had it because no one else would want me then. No one knows what your guy will do. Only time will tell. I may never get over what did and the fact that he altered my life forever. But i cant change that now. At some point, there will come a time when i will want to date and i will feel all the same feelings you did/do; fear, fear of rejection, ashemed, dirty, etc. Again, i do commend for you for coming out to take responsibilty for his medical. Reading your story, help gives me a point of view i couldnt see / understand. It took great courage to open up and tell your story. i can feel the hurt you feel through your words. I hope he comes back and together yall can work through it!!! Thank you so much for sharing. I hope our experiences can help us both come so form of forgiveness as HBetty said, also heal and grow. I have a thought and/or different view on forgiveness for you that may be helpful. For me, when I think about forgiveness for him and for myself at the point I would say is an impossible task. So my counselor gave me this thought , thinking that wording/thinking about it in a different sense will aid in the forgivenesss process which is part of the healing process. She said to me..... "Forgiveness is giving up on the hope that the past can be any different"

Totally, inspiring! Gives hope to others like me that even though it doesn't since there is love with H. You are another example of how there is!

Wcsdancer2010, well said, thank you

Lost and lost, thanks for sharing your story. I will pray u don't have it and yes , it was too soon for the Igg.test. You have to wait on average of 12 weeks or so for blood unless u have an active sore that can be swapped for culture. In the meantime, welcome. Learn all you can from here. There is so much to gain from here.

TJones, I really want you to leave me alone. Again, I never called you any names nor do I have rage against men. I'm gonna be better than and not call names. The things you clearly struggle with have nothing to do with this site.this site is for helping others with herpes understand, grow, and move forward in their lifes. It is not a women bashing men site. I hope u get the help u need. Now LEAVE ME ALONE.

Hello Abby, you are in the right place and you are not alone. i hope feel better soon. I'm rather impressed with your take on it and just learning you have it. You will find that you can get answers to your questions and concerns here. Do you if its HSV1 or HSV2? HSV1 is the Oral herpes and HSV2 is genital herpes. It is rare to get HSV2in the mouth. It is possible to get HSV1 genitally though. Its a virus that does not discriminate; anyone can get it, and effects the skin...

Jones, there's something clearly not right with you, you are over the place; nice one mintue and cold the next. YOU CALLED ME A BITCH!!! REALLY? No matter if i agree or disagree with someone on here, i have never out right called anyone a name.

Wscdancer2010, thanks for your support, its true we have gone head to head sometimes. Lol, :)

Dr h love, thanks for finding the courage to open up and share your story. I. GladI got to read your story as you have mine. Despite the differences in the stories, the end result is the same. We are all in it together.

Lostandlost, Thank you for your thought. :)

TJones, the buttons you pushed are you inability to have compassion and such insensivity. Bringing up all kind of things to try to compare to herpes, etc is appalling and has no bearing/ meaning etc on herpes, how people are affected, cope/deal with it. This is not some movie, but its people, the,life's and emotions. For your punch at who slept with and what they carry or not. I'm 39yrs and have only been with 8 men. I am far from being someone who sleeps around (just like many others here). In fact, I don't believe in one stands, friends with benefits. If its not a relationship, I'm not giving it up. I have been clean and negative my whole life until Nov. Who are u to imply I'm anything else. You know this is what my ex does. This is what sociopaths do. Keep doing and saying things to push buttons and keep things.going i am better than that to give you that power. Have a great night

Wscdancer2010, ok, I said it can cause auto immune responses in some cases that can cause/lead to cancer. Yes, I know HPV can as well.

Lady in the street and a freak in the bed

To me, losing his jobs, jail time, fine, sex offender list wouldn't phase him that much and wouldn't seem like a true punishment to him. But what would be a true punishment to him? It would be knowking that he has to provide for me medical, counseling,etc for the rest of my natural life. If he dies before, he will be containing that care from his grave. He will have to maintian a life insurance policy with me as the beneficiary that will allow his estate to provide that. The amount of policy is not yet determined. (Currently researching what the value should be and what is affordable for him.) Even more, He will have watch me move on with my life, find peace, happiness, and the right man for me, despite his unthinkable, malicious, reckless behavior with me. Showing him, he won't win. He accomplished his goal of exposing and infecting me but his goal to make me be with him because of it and keep me down. That is what punishment for him would be.

Tjones, again thats your experience, you have to recognize that this effects everyone differently and are at different levels in process/steps of healing coping etc.The comment about when you are sleeping with someone, you are sleeping with everyone they have been with is down right cruel and insenitive. although we are all entilted to our belief, opinions, i think there should more compassion for others on how they feel about herpes and where they stand in the process. i have made no secret that to me, there is no excuse to ever not disclose to potiential partners. I have an understand the fear, devestattion, and anxiety many have over disclosing because i will have to do when i am ready to date. Its heart breaking to hear when people dont disclose first because i know what it feels like. if i want people to be understand,and learn from me , i have to be willing to do the same with them: which can lead to growth and healing.