Aimee (previously baffled1

Abc123 thank you for your words of support. I would love to hear your story if you wish to share it.

Is there a company you recommend for it?

Disclosing is very important. I have it because my ex knew he has oral and genital herpes for years. He didn't not tell me he has it till a month ago. That is 8 months after we split when I started having issues. I even dated someone in the 8 months since we had split!!! It has devastated my life. He took my right to make a choice, to make an informed and educated decision. Because my state has criminal laws against it, he and I are going to court. there are not enough words to describe how angry, hurt, devastated I am about having this but getting in the manner I have is unbearable and unfair. If he didn't know he had it, that would be a different story.I wish all the best when yall disclose. I hope that is goes the way yally'all would like it. There is the jjust of my story for a different perspective. Sharing with one another should lead to understanding and growthBTW , my 1st name is Aimee as well

Aerial2013 although I will proceed as if i do because I will not do what my ex did to me. My spymtoms just don't act like herpes. The rash I have lookslike little pimples that spread after the doctor examined me. I have no pain, discomfort, etc. The pimple like spots have never blistered, scabbed,etc. I will continue to test every 6 months and see what happens. my sympomts have been going on for almost 3 months but ththere's been a lot changes,stress. and different medications over the last 6 months

Strawberry girl, I wish to tell you my story, some here alreadyI know. I Am 39yrs I come from a highly political and socialite family. I have had very sexual partners for my age. I just recently foundI have it. Why do I have it? My ex knew for years that heads oral and genital herpes and didn't tell me before hand. I'm am beyond angry and devastated that he took my right choice away to make an informed decision. In fact I am only 1 of many women he knowingly exposed to herpes. in my state, Louisiana, USA, there are laws for this. In LA, everyone who has a communicable must inform potential partners before intimacy whether they infect the person or not. He and I are going court. There may criminal but civil for sure, he will be order to pay for counseling and any/all medical expenses for my natural life. If he dies before me, his estate will have to provide before anything else. my life has been changed forever by his selfish and thoughtless actions. If he had not known iI would not be angry still devevasted but not angry. No one has the right to take the right of choice away from anyone. I also want to that there is someone in my life who very much wants to be more than friends with me. He is also aware that up till today when all my results have finally come back that I knew I had at the very least been exposed to herpes( HSV2). To this point, he says he doesn't not care and wants to be very much apart of my life as my friend and more. I will have the conversation tonight with him that based on my understanding I definitely have it. II'm sure his answer will be the same because in his mind, he was thinking the worst of me having and still wanting to be with me so if I ended up negative, thatwpuld be fine. It has only been about 3 weeks since I started learning I may have it. Believe me, there are not enough words to describe the amount hurt, distress, anger, etc I am feeling I know you understand the emotions of trying to deal with this. I wanted you hear my story to get a perspective from someone who got hurt because they did withhold their status. I know you live in Europe, louisiana is 1 of 36 states in the US to make it criminal as well. This could be the same in Europe.You are very young with your whole life ahead of you. You will find someone who love you, have babies, and life a fulfilled life.

Ok, iI have three different doctor telling me 3 different things. This isnot helping the huge amount of distress iI am having over this. 1st doctor: says I don't have it. 2Nd doctors: sayI I have only been exposed to HSV2. 3rs doctor: says i.I have HSV2

Domh21, I would be one of thosepeopleyou mention that wishes the other person was honest. Im newly diagnosed and still in diagnosis phase. Probably a bit of denial as well. You cab bet very angry. My ex knew he as oral and genital herpes for years. He withheld that from and many other women and knowingly exposed me. Thank you, Louisiana. my state one of 36 that has criminal laws against withholding a status of communicable disease from a potential partner whether the other person becomes infected or not. We are going court. I know this wont change my diagnosis but someone has to stand out and make him accountable for the senseless, cruel, intentional behavior. He will be paying for my counseling and any /all medical related to this for the rest of my natural life .in his death if before me, his estate will provide. He will also have to notify all past partners throught the court as well as any new potential partners. there is someone who wants to date me now. He has been trying since i broke with the ex who gave this me. I just keep pushing him away and he keeps asking why. He seems pretty persisant in his pursuit of me. I cant possibly see myself dating in the state im in even though i know what a fabolous guy he is

I would love some clarity on what when viral shedding is on symptonic and asymptomatic. Thanks

Wcsdancer2010 I can agree with your thoughts. My mom and dad married young then had 3 kids. Back then that is what you did. They split when iI was 6. My mom remarried a man who was good to us but not her. ( an alcoholic, abusive, and cheated) ththat's who gave her the HPV. My step father now of about 20yrs or so is amazing to her and they have a great marriage. My father, Oh boy that's a whole different strory. He has always been in my and siblings life butwon't win any awards for man/husband of the year...lol there could be seem truth to your other thoughts and aslo Peacinlove, it could happen to you. Thanks.

im glad i read these posts. although im still in the diagnosis phase, i have been dealing with symptoms for over 2 months and a month on acyclivor. I dont have any discomfort with my symptoms but they are not going anyway. maybe because i no discomfort etc could be the reason i have some denial. The time frame of symptoms is frustrating. thanks for sharing on your experiences on symptoms.

itcanhappentou885, I welcome your thoughts. I am an empath. i am defitenely a compassionate person. Both so much that it can be my downfall. maybe it cant be seen that in my posts because my anger most certainly comes through more at this time in some posts. No one would ask to have this. At the same time, noone has the right to take my right, your right or anyone right of choice away, especially if that person knows they have it. But when it comes to my ex, No i m not. I am only one of many women he knowingly exposed them without telling them. he has known for 15yrs at least that he has both. My ex ( just saying my ex and only him) is also a sopcoipath, narcissitic, passive/agressive. I wouldnt be angry about it if he didnt know he has it. i would still be just as devastated but not angry. As far as my mom and sister, Its their positions in society that makes the difference. There are high expectations and pressures involved. My question is about why i dont i feel better is about my mom knowing. One would thing that I would since my mom is my rock. Thanks for thoughts. Each response offers opportunity to think and reflect.

my diagnosis is new, still waiting for all tests results to come back. those who dnt my story, my ex knew he has oral and genital herpes for years and withheld it.we going court for it. I swore i would never tell anyone in my family even my mom who has always been my rock. my mother is a politcal figure, well respected and loved. both her and my step father have been active the community for years. My sister has a high profile job. she is loved and respected. So can you see the horror of any in my family and outside of my family finding out i have herpes ( according to my ob/gyn but general doc disagrees) So weds. morning i ended up in the emergency room with extreme lower back pain and left side abdominal pain. i have PCOS since 1998. its a miserable condition. the doc ran ultra sound and couldnt believe my pain was on my left side because i have cyst 7cm on my right ovary. this is the ame hospital my ob is affiliated with. i asked the er doc to see if all my results were in. when i 1st got there they gave a pain killer so i had to have someone come pick me up. i called my mom who close and she would need to come if they released me. They called my doc who was since its day before thanksgiving. the on call ob didnt want to operate since i wasnt his patient so messaged my doc with the info. so they were releasing me, called my mom to come get me, while she is on her way , the er and nurse come in give more pain meds to take home and a prescription for acyclovir. the doc says not all ur tests are back but you need the rx for herpes. keep in my this is still and are in the diagnosing phase. thats all the er doc says and walks out. i start crying. that nurse says to me, " what are you crying for at least your night dead" I lost on her to get the f.... out my room among other things. so other nurse comes to comfort at the same time here comes my mom. She was in shock to see me in such distress. So as we leave the hospital, im crying out of control. at this moment, i knew there was no keeping what was going on. Took me 20 minutes to get it out, what the preliminary diagnosis is and what it happened. i spent weds. and thur night at my moms house one so she could keep eye on me because the cysts and powerful pain meds and 2nd, monday i found out i am severe insulin resistant and severe hypoglyemcic too. should have been in a coma or dead from blood sugar levels. back to story, sorry, in conversations she really tried to make me feel better where researched how common it s etc. then she told me when she had a hysterectomy at 40 bevasue my 2nd step father at the time was very unfaithfull and she had precancerious cells on cervix and uterus now known to cause by HPV. she promised to keep my status a secret from everyone else as i wished. so why dont i feel better. i even said what horrible for her to would be if people knew her daughter has herpes. she just shrugged of that question and said, you are daughter,i love all my children the same. Insight please to why i dont feel any better about her knowing?

Adrial, when i read your response to Jojo, I was I like "wow". As you know I have just learned of my status. 2 Days after the first set results came back,I started counseling because I was so close to a breakdown. Your words are more comforting than my counselor.

Defeatedbuttrying no way was i putting you in with my ex. I am so sorry if I said something that made you feel that way!!! I also wasnt implying you would withhold and again, if i said something that made you feel that way i appologize for that as well. I was just trying to give a perspective on what it felt like to get given herpes from someone with knew he had it and withheld that. Giving an explanation of what type of person he is sheds light on why I will never be able to understand and know why heaway it.

This will be some what graphic plus the vaginal opening is swollen and white and around my cclient is white.

Wcsdancer2010, whether in positive or negative,won't affect my court case because Louisiana law states the withhold your health status on a communicable disease is criminal whether the person is infected or not. The results forHIV, hvp syphilis, gonorrhea, chalmydia, etc were negative Here's the confusion. My blood work was negative and positive.now for my culture, this is whereI maybe in deniall, it is known fact that if you are using yeast infection medicine that, that can cause a false positve culture. The morning I went to my ob for for exam I had been using yeast infection meds. the culture came back positive. One doc says its herpes zoster from chicken pox and my ob says herpes. Waiting for the test reulst to come back that will tell him which herpes, ( my ob). The chicken pox results was a ssurprise because I thought I never had it. Turns out my mom said I had it twice as a child; so glad iI don't remember that... lol so can you see my confusion?

I'm glad i I have read through this post. Although my diagnosis is still new to me and denial is where iI am at to some degree. In part becasubecause one doctor ( my ob) says i have it and another doctor ( my an) says I don't. My ob says I'm having an outbreak that seems to be going on now for 2 months.I'm stilll indisagreement with him on the outbreak because of my symptoms. They don't behave like herpes. I have PCOS and severe hhypoglycemi, plus iI had unterine ablation in February from adenmysosis. I have always been prone to utis and yeast infections. I shave all the time. i have not been experiencing any tingling, burning, or itching etc. Just some swelling, redness, irritation, the small tiny "bumps" that appear and disappear daily since this started over months ago, don't hurt, no blistering, cracking scaping etc. so its confusing. Those who had read and know my story know iI had been exposed to to herpes by my ex. I just can't make sense of out it. Your thoughts please

Adrial, thank you. That is a different approach to look at this and holds much truth to what you said. Where I am at in process doesn't let me see what others may see and feel yet who have been experiencing it longer. Its process like anything else takes time to go through the phases

Aerial 2013 thank you soooo much!!!! Your reply holds much Truth. You know one reason i wanted to share my story is to know that like my state and many others there are laws to protect people. in states were other aren't, something should be done to change that. I know I will have to come to terms that I'm stuck with this for life. It does give me great comfort to know that he is finally being held accountable and that he will be providing for my care for this all my natural life and after he dies if he dies first. It makes me feel worse about having it when people say its no big deal!! Really??? Maybe to those people its not, but too many like me it is. its changes you and changes you life. I am no longer the same person I was before this and my life is longer the same before this. Never again will I be that.person. Even if a cure is found in my life time, which I hope is soon, that person is gone. Im 39. Again thank you!!

wcsdancer2010 Now where in my post did iI say Sarah was bad person nor did i implythat either.. I know Sarah knows she has to disclose. Sharing my story on what its like when someone who knows and doesn't disclose. I admire her strength when she her name etc. Bevause I couldn't and can't. I'm beginging to think through posts between you and I that you just don't agree with something with me and your not reading all my posts carefully. We don't have to agree and there some things that we don't agree on. I respect how u feel and have thanked for for sharing how you feel even when I didn't agree. You on the other hand, are not extending the same to me. On every feed your are someway accusing me of something. I joined this for support etc. Instead you have someway to undermine that because you don't read my posts and because you dolnt agree with me, how i feel about herpes, and where i am iI coping/dealing with what is happening.

Iamentj thank you for putting your take of responsibility and ownership on my story; which is what I was hoping you would using your experience to mine. Thank you for saying that its ok to feel the way I feel; mad, hurt, angry, etc. I was starting to begin to feel from other spots that I shouldn't feel angry, etc. By you saying that is how I was hoping this site could be helpful. Right now, I'm still in shock, a denial in some sense, and overwhelmed with different emotions. it will take time just to sink in.

Wcsdancer2010 hi,I'm not sure you are carefully reading my posts. I haven't been disrectful.to anyone in fact. I have said how i respect their thoughts and feelings. Their responses to my response was cool and helpful And when i replyed saying i was calling everyone a sociopath. When i said my ex is. On this site, regardless how we got herpes we all have it and are all affected by it.

Defeated but trying, this title of your discussion caught my attention. I can for sure relate to your anger. I just joined today and was diagnosis with this in the last 3 weeks. joined this site for support because iI was reading posts about people into telling their partners. I have herpes now because my ex knew for years he has oral and genital herpes but with held that from me . I know I'm only one of many women he has done this to. At least my state; Louisiana is one of about 36 other states that makes his actions criminal. In Louisiana, a person who has any kind of communicable disease passed by sexual means are required to tell tell partners of their status. They are liable whether or not they infect that person . So he and I are going to court. So far he is in agreement on terms of the civil suit. He will be paying for all my care and counseling for the rest of my natural life relating to this. If he dies before me, his estate will continue to provide.If it goes criminal, he could face jail time, fines, and he would go on the sex offender list permanently. He is loses job as a police officer and military. So to your discussion question one whether to tell future partners; YES! He had no right to take my right to choice. He had right to knowingly expose to an incurable disease. Morally telling potential partners is the right thing to do and some states its a legal must. I know your pain and anger. If was tough for me to tell the person iI recently dated what was going on. He got tested and was negative. When I'm ready to date it will be tough enough and my family is political so that adds to my pressure from this. Its tough swallow getting it from them not knowing they had it. Dont be like my ex. Its not fair.

Thanks for responses y'all. he will never get forgiveness but any other type of forgiveness will come when he and I settle in court. Then I can walk away knowing that he has made accountable for his actions and by taking him to court, i took steps that will force him to tell his past and future partners. If the actions i am taken saves him from destroying at least 1 woman's' life, that matters Actually I didn't realize just how angry i am about it tillI found this site. It was post about someone who know they had herpes but keep sleeping with people and not telling them.

iamentj, i appreciate your view on ownership and responsibility. yes when a perpson has sex there is always a risk. for me the difference is this. i have it becuase my ex knew he had oral and genital and withheld that from me. its hard for me to see where in my case what my responibilty comes into play. I agreed to intimacy with him not to be exposed to an incureable disease. like you, I had to tell the person i dated sincemy ex and i split up who turned out to be negative. that was tough. i know for a fact it was my ex who lied about his status who gave it me. i knew testing for herpes has to be requested for for along time and not routine. im not a person who slept around ever. i made testing for everything a regular thing for me because of a previous longtime bf cheated.All my teste were negative before this ex. In fact, I was tested right after we got toether and was negative. so he gave it to me sometime after that. i just dont feel i have any responsibilty in my case. as i said i respect your take on it and how hard it is to have to tell a past partner. i have only known for about 3 weeks and im still in shock, distress, angry.