Flowerteacher55

I'm so sorry. Advocate for yourself and really push them to run tests and help you, or refer you to a virologist. Also, do you or did you happen to have postpartum fevers and/or fundal tenderness (tenderness from pubic bone to top of uterus)?

Hello! You have a few options. You could look into the following factors... Trigger or Changes: What changed last year when you started having these frequent outbreaks? Stress? Hormones? A new medical diagnosis? Etc. You could keep a log (similar to period tracking) and see what happens before you have an outbreak. You may find that they occur at different parts of your cycle if you have a period, or when you are stressed, etc. Then you can work on managing these triggers! Consistent Medication Prescription: Worrying about medication can be really stressful. See if you can get a doctor, even one at a clinic, to write you a multi-month prescription so you don't need to worry about getting a prescription renewed. Antivirals are not addictive and do not have extremely dangerous side effects, so it really shouldn't be a problem for a doctor to prescribe a multi-month supply. They may try and be dismissive, but really advocate for your health and well-being. You matter! If money is an issue (prescriptions can be pricey!) you can try using a Good Rx card which really helps. Or, the doctor could even write a bulk prescription (so instead of having a three month+ prescription where you would have to go pick it up and pay 3 separate co-pays, they do a three month+ supply, in which you only pick up one giant supply and pay one co pay). This saves money and time! 🙂 I hope that these suggestions help. Feel free to reach out with any more questions! Sending blessings of health and happiness your way! 🌻

Hello, Congratulations on your baby ❤️ I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. Please know there is hope. I personally have never experienced this/given birth but I am sure there is someone here who can relate and provide support and hope for you. Have you talked to your OBGYN about it? Also, how long ago did you have your son? Hormones are a huge trigger for many people, and a hormonal change as significant as giving birth can definitely impact outbreaks. It may help to have your hormones tested, and either go on birth control to regulate your hormones and/or try another type of antiviral. Sometimes trying a new type (Famcyclovir or Acyclovir) can help if you've been using one type for a long time. The body just needs a new antiviral for the virus to die down again. Stay strong, and rely on your support network, whomever they may be. You are a warrior mama and you can do this! I am praying for you. We are all here for you, and I am going to do some research about postpartum outbreaks and relief. Sending healing blessings your way 🌻 grace

Hello! I hope you are well. Have you been feeling any better, or have there been any changes in symptoms? Also, did you ever see a virologist or a neurologist? Your symptoms actually sound like it could be a neurological issue. My aunt with multiple sclerosis often expresses she feels a tingling or burning or feelings of being "cold" or "on fire," and it's all because of neurological-related issues. So, maybe a neurologist would best be able to help you! 🙂 I am praying for you! Stay strong and stay faithful ❤️

Ouch! sounds painful! When the urethra is inflamed, it basically narrow the tube, which can make it feel like pinch or a pain like it won't drain fast enough; maybe that would cause a needle feeling? Stay well and if things don't clear up, ask for a urologist referral. Blessings!

You can ask as much as you need to! That's what the forum is for. I think I understand your pain. Does it feel like an ache or a pinch when you try and hold in urine? Ever since I had my primary outbreak, I have a really hard time holding in urine, it feels like it hurts. I had internal sores; I don't know if I had them in my urethra but definitely in the vaginal cavity, but ever since then it is just hard for me to hold in urine (it doesn't leak out it just feels so painful to hold it in and to go to urinate sometimes, almost like a pinch feeling. It's normal that you are still experiencing some redness, because primary outbreak pain and irritation can linger for a little bit, especially if you had sores near the opening of the penis. Basically, your body has been trying to get used to the virus, and the fact that your groin glands were swollen indicate that your body was really working hard. Give your body some time 🙂 The slight traces of evidence could be a sign that you are still shedding, depending on the evidence you observe! Feel free to ask questions anytime!

Hello, Yes, it can be so overwhelming, especially when a Dr. misdiagnosed you! To answer your questions, 1) Typically, painful urination caused by a GHSV-1 is due to the inflammation of the urethra due to sores inside the cavity or around the opening of the cavity. Sometimes, if you have sores around the opening of the urethra, it can swell and cause the urethral cavity to become blocked, too. So, external sores near the tip of the urethra could cause urination issues, but the pain would probably be felt closer to the lower part of the internal urethral cavity (near the 'exit'). So, you probably wouldn't be feeling this pain in the entire shaft of the urethral cavity. If you are concerned, you can always contact a urologist! 2) Masturbation can agitate the skin and cause sores to possibly reemerge, but you don't risk passing it to your partner. So, you could if you feel comfortable and your skin feels okay, but if you still have pain inside your urethra, I would advise not masturbating. 3) There are many options to help with the symptoms, depending on what they are. To help with inflammation, you can take an anti-inflammatory drug like an NSAID (if you can, some people cannot if they have heart issues, liver/organ issues, or are advised not to by their doctor). Do you still have sores? If so, you could try Lysine cream/ointment or antiviral cream (you may need a prescription for it), it is called Zovirax (Acyclovir Cream). If you experience painful urination or skin pain, you can put ice water in a spray bottle and mist it over your inflamed area as you go to the bathroom to help reduce pain. I hope this helps! Stay strong and be kind to yourself. Sending prayers of health your way!

Hello, Yes, so since correlation doesn't inherently mean causation, technically it could have been from the waxing place and hypothetically it couldn't have been. However, yes, the time frame aligns perfectly! Oops, sorry, I also just realized the incident happened nine months ago! I think I thought it was one month ago (but then I just realized that is when the waxing happened!) So, yes, the time frame aligns perfectly with the likelihood of this being the primary outbreak, especially because of the flue like symptoms and everything. Ugh, what a chump. Sadly so many cruel people prey on the kindness of others, and it 's terrible. If anything, this guy could have been jealous of you and just wanted to drag happy people down with him. It's just so cruel. With people like that, I just give it to God. Let the anger and frustration go; as a close family friend once said, "Don't let the bastards get you down!" I am so happy that you and your wife are moving forward. Truly shows the power of love! Stay strong and be kind to yourself.

Hooray! I am so happy to hear that! 🙂 Remember to be kind to yourself ❤️ Blessings!

Hello, I am so sorry about this! So, folliculitis can be caused by a few things but commonly caused via a staph infection. It can be caused by anything that opens or irritates the skin, from shaving to bacteria to a virus. You could go to a dermatologist just to be sure it is folliculitis and perhaps they could give you a specific ointment/medicine! Yeast infection that is on the skin can cause folliculitis, you are correct! I don't know if this is helpful https://dermnetnz.org/topics/malassezia-folliculitis but maybe you could ask the dermatologist about it! Also, if you think this could be caused by the yeast infection, I would avoid sugar, as it feeds yeast. Stay strong! Sending prayers of health and happiness your way! The sun always shines after rain! 🙂

It's great that you both can see past this mistake and move forward. It's how you get through the struggles in a relationship that really matters and shows who you are and how much you care about each other. Honestly, so many places could even be clean and still people could get sick. All it takes is one technician/salon employee to forget or neglect to practice sanitary practices for someone to contract a bacterial or viral infection. Sadly, there aren't any tests that help determine a date-specific result. Even IgG and IgM tests can be iffy because sometimes people's IgM numbers randomly spike back up, even after their primary outbreak. And, many times those who have had HSV for 12+ weeks (the time it takes for IgG antibodies to build up to detectable numbers) still receive false negative results. Since the text she came back positive for was a swab test, and then it was confirmed by blood, it seems it would be an IgG test, because that is the only test that can differentiate between the two strains. However, this would also possibly mean she has had it for 12+ weeks (unless a false positive occured that just happened to seemingly validate the swab test result). I would ask the doctor who diagnosed this about which blood test they utilized to confirm the diagnosis, or if they only relied on the swab, etc. That guy sounds like a scum bag 💩. Yes, the unfaithfulness is not justifiable and you did not deserve that. Maybe her self-esteem and self-image were quite low at the vulnerable time, as people often gravitate towards those who validate how we feel about ourselves. When we feel bad about ourselves, we make choices that either validate these feelings or even self-sabotage. Furthermore, operators like this loser know how to manipulate those who are in a vulnerable state, and take advantage of them. He is a jerk. I don't care how ripped and cool you think you are-- if you act like a disrespectful jacka**, you are a disrespectful jacka**, and that is unacceptable. Thankfully, your kindness, forgiveness, and history of building a life together with your wife have so much more weight than these rough patches. Talking to a therapist might help you work through letting go of the images that pop in your head. You can also try tapping, a form of meditation that is amazing. Here is one of my favorites for intrusive thoughts: https://youtu.be/n909IhnXL-k You can also try the introduction to tapping video first, and check out his other amazing videos. Stay strong! Blessings to you and you wife!

Hello, First, thank you for sharing this experience with us. I am sure many can relate in some way to your experiences. Please know that this is not your fault, and you are a very kind human for forgiving your wife. I am so sorry that you both experienced a miscarriage; that can be very very heartbreaking and I cannot even imagine the grief you and your wife must be feeling. I am so sorry that your wife and that person were intimate. You did not deserve that. Forgiveness is so powerful, and one of my favorite songs is called Forgiveness by Matthew West. Listen to it! It's really heartwarming. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1Lu5udXEZI. It also may be helpful for you and your wife to attend couples therapy, as it can help you heal and communicate. I'm sure your wife feels truly remorseful, and I am sure you feel very hurt. It can be really helpful to have a mediator to help you communicate and work together to be happy so you can start a beautiful family! Has she ever gotten a bikini wax before, and if so, from this center? Also, you said it was not an IgG blood test, so it must have been an IgM bloodtest? This means the infection is very recent, as IgM antibodies are the first to spike in numbers and then slowly decrease as IgG antibodies build up in number. Because of the severity of these symptoms (flu-like) it seems this was her primary outbreak. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) the average incubation period for an HSV infection to show up is 4 days, but the range is 2-12 days. So, the fact that this suddenly showed up a month after the incident seems it is unlikely it was contracted from the guy. Herpes and other viruses like molluscum contagiosum can pass via waxing, because they are spread via skin to skin contact (so if the wax person reused the same gloves, spatula/wooden wax spreader stick, or just didn't clean the establishment/table. Also, if someone already has HSV, getting a wax can trigger an outbreak (because it irritates the skin, and if someone already has a sore it actually opens up the skin and causes microscopic cuts where the virus can spread to). However, since this seems like your wife's first outbreak, you don't need to worry about this. In terms of physically intimacy, there are basically 4 options: 1) suppressive medication: antiviral medication taken daily to help reduce the likelihood of viral shedding (which reduces likelihood of passing it to you). 2) condoms: internal or external condoms can be used. If you don't like condoms, she could try an internal one. 3) suppressive medication and condoms: using both antiviral medicine and condoms 4) none of the above Here is a sheet that explains the safety percents when condoms and/or suppressive medication are used. https://assets.website-files.com/5bad419cb04cd52dae8f7a89/60bf0e3302177fcd83cd1752_herpes-opportunity-disclosure-handout-2021.pdf It also might helps to have a talk with your wife's OBGYN about everything. HSV can impact childbirth (but don't worry! Modern medicine is wonderful!) so it would be great to talk to the OBGYN about it. Also, the OBGYN can talk to you both about how to have safe intimacy and different antiviral suppressants, should your wife choose to take it. Make sure not to pressure her to take them; it is her choice and you are in a partnership, so of course you can offer your opinion but allow her to feel supported and accepted no matter her choice. Being diagnosed with the very judged virus can really be crushing, but remember- and remind her too- that it's society's stigma of H that makes us feel bad. Socially-constructed stigmas have no true weight, and they are incorrect and are fueled by judgement, fear, and lies. Focus on the science and the truth, that H is a common virus and that you can still be a wonderful parent, spouse, and human regardless of H! Stay strong and stay hopeful. Support your wife while getting support yourself. You have been under stress, so make sure you are leaning on others in your support network and that you are taking care of yourself. I am praying for you and your wife. Blessings!

Hello, I am so sorry you have been struggling with the symptoms. Please know that you are not bad or unworthy of love. Please know you can still have a happy and fulfilling sex life with HSV-- it doesn't change who you are or your quality of life! GHSV-1 is typically the less intense of the two strains, and because the rates of it shedding/causing an outbreak are lower, it means the likelihood or transmitting it your partner are typically lower, too. To answer your questions: 1. Because this is your primary outbreak, yes, the symptoms can last a while, as your body is still getting used to the virus. Because the first outbreak is usually the most severe, it just takes longer to heal. If you had internal sores in your urethral cavity (you expressed pain inside when peeing) it also causes more pain. The skin may be dry where the sores once were, and may even look like scabs. This is normal and is part of the healing process. The skin where the sores once were also may appear lighter in color (this is normal is new skin growth). You could still be shedding the virus, especially if you still have burning and/or itching. It is best to avoid intimacy/physical contact for about three weeks, just to be extra sure and your symptoms are gone. Reengaging in intimacy too sooner can irritate the skin and actually trigger another outbreak or cause pain and irritation (which can trigger an outbreak). 2. You can 110% have a happy, healthy, and fulfilling sex life with HSV. It doesn't have the power to change the bond you and your partner have, or your attraction to each other! HSV is not blood-borne like AIDS or HIV, meaning it does not 'live' in blood, urine, semen, discharge, breast milk, etc. Instead, it is spread via skin-to-skin contact with the impacted area during viral shedding and/or an outbreak. So, think of it like this: body fluids act as a transportation mean for the virus. So, if you have the virus actively shedding on your penis, and then some of your semen runs over the virus, it could spread to your partner hypothetically, but the HSV virus itself does not live in the fluid. Think of it like a lazy river... The HSV virus can hitch a ride via semen or fluids but they don't live in it. So, if someone has HSV, and isn't having an outbreak/prodrome symptoms/virally shedding (and they do not shed asymptomatically), and their semen get on/in their partner, they aren't going to pass it to their partner. If the person has an outbreak/is virally shedding at the tip of their penis and they ejaculate in/on their partner, there is a possibility they could pass it to their partner, even if their penis skin doesn't make skin-to-skin contact with their partner's skin. If you need more information and clarification, feel free to ask! I hope this helps. Stay strong. You are still a wonderful human. Love is the strongest force on the planet, not HSV!

Hello, Okay. It's wonderful that they've been gone for three weeks; it's great to play it safe! Yes it could have been from sweat/needing to shower as you mentioned, especially if you haven't been able to shave that area (when hair regrows and/or gets too long it definitely can cause itchiness). Has the itching and burning gone away/have gotten better?

Hello, By antibiotics do you mean antivirals? Also, how long ago did your outbreak end/when did all stores go away and symptoms ceased? It's great that your partner wore protection. The burning and tingling could be from so many things. The friction from intercourse can cause this, especially if you haven't had sex in a few weeks due to healing from your first outbreak. However, the tingling sounds like it could be an outbreak, triggered by the friction. The transmission rates of GHSV-1 are generally lower than GHSV-2, and the transmission from vagina to penis are lower than the transmission rates from penis to vagina (mucous membranes of vagina have a much greater surface area/are more exposed). According to HOpps's Pre-Disclosure Fact Sheet... Anually, the HSV-2 % risk per year for female to male transmission rates are as follows: There is a 4% risk of HSV-2 transmission without protection, a 2% risk of HSV-2 transmission with the use of condoms OR daily suppressive medication, and a 1% risk of transmission with the use of condoms AND suppressive medication. These rates are for GHSV-2; you have GHSV-1. The transmission rates of GHSV-1 are generally lower than GHSV-2, as outbreaks are less likely to occur. So, if those are the rates for HSV-2, imagine the small likelihoods of transmitting GHSV-1 😊! Just remember, those are stats based on if you aren't experiencing and outbreak or showing prodrome symptoms. Were you experiencing any symptoms prior to having intimacy? if your partner starts experiencing symptoms and has bumps or sores appear, he can get a swab test. If he is worried, he can eventually get a blood test, however if he already has HSV-1 orally in the form of cold sores/fever blisters (very common) then the blood test would most likely come back positive for HSV-1. A blood test can tell you the type of HSV, but it can't tell you where you have it (orally and/or gentially). Rest assured, this isn't your fault. You can express to your partner you experienced burning and tingling after intimacy, and that you are monitoring for the presentation of sores. You can offer facts and data to help comfort him (and you!) and explain the testing procedures and scenarios. I hope this helps! Stay strong and be kind to yourself ☀️🦋!

Hi! That is so cool, thank you for sharing that information about compounding pharmacies with us! Maybe a hydrocortisone enema (ouchies) would work? Stay strong! You have been such a warrior these past weeks. Way to keep moving forward! 🦋 Blessings! ☀️

Hello! It's so wonderful to hear you are feeling better! The red bumps could be a variety of things. It could be from irritation if your hair is growing back in (if you shaved or waxed the area), or from folliculitis, which is inflammation of the hair follicles. Do the red bumps have a head to them? Also, do they look dry or scaly? In regards to the cream, I'm so happy you got some. It's really great that a pharmacy near you produces it! Are they like a pharmaceutical company? In regards to the cream, but don't apply it internally (like around/inside the anus). For the anal fissures, you could also try hydrocortisone rectal cream specific for hemmorhoids and anal fissures. Also if you haven't tried an Epsom salts bath, maybe try that! Keep us updated!! Sending prayers of health and happiness your way!! ☀️🦋

Stay strong! ❤️ You've got this! 🙂

Hello, I am so sorry that you have been treated with such disrespect by this person. You deserve WAY better! Please remember that the way someone treats you is a reflection of them, not of you. You did not deserve this and his actions show who he is. You are deserving and worthy of respect, kindness, loyalty, and honesty. You will find someone who gives you these things and more! ☀️ In terms of having contracted HSV, it is possible, however he would have to have contracted it sometime before the 17 days when you were last with him intimately. Is he going to or has he gotten tested for HSV recently? Also, what strain of HSV does the girl have? If you are still on speaking terms with him, you could ask, but otherwise it's alright. You can monitor yourself for symptoms, and if you are worried you can get an IgG blood test in 12+ weeks. If you know the strain the girl has, it makes the test more helpful since you can see if you test positive for that specific strain. Remember, if you get cold sores or have oral HSV-1 (2/3 of the world has it!) your blood results could come back positive for HSV-1. In general, it is more likely for transmission to occur from male to female genitalia than from female to male genitalia, however there is still a risk of transmission. Also, it depends on if she has HSV-2 or HSV-1, and if she takes suppressive medication to help suppress viral shedding and/or outbreaks. If you can, ask your ex to keep you posted on if he has any more symptoms, and if sores or redness or a rash appears, head to the doctor ASAP to get the area swabbed to test for HSV DNA. I hope this helps! Stay calm and be kind to yourself. Hold you head high and advocate for yourself. You deserve respect, and he owes you an apology for unfaithful and unkind behavior. Sending blessings, hope, and healing your way 🦋☀️🌳💛 !!

Hi, I am so sorry about this. That is terrible. We cannot control how people respond to us; and how people treat us is a reflection of them, not of you. It seems she is unfamiliar with the facts about H, such as it doesn't spread by sharing sheets, and it does not indicate how many people you have been with. If it helps, she could read about it and learn about it. You can send her the herpes fact sheet available on this website, linked here: https://assets.website-files.com/5bad419cb04cd52dae8f7a89/60bf0e2878ccd531cb33508d_herpes-opportunity-diagnosis-handout-2021.pdf and also https://assets.website-files.com/5bad419cb04cd52dae8f7a89/60bf0e3302177fcd83cd1752_herpes-opportunity-disclosure-handout-2021.pdf You did an amazing job being honest, and respecting her space. I am sorry that she was defensive and angry; remember that is a reflection of her and how she is dealing with this situation (kind of inappropriately and immaturely). You didn't deserve that. You are just as upset and worried, and you were so afraid to be honest with her; she should be grateful that you were honest and overcame your worries. You obviously want the relationship to work, and she should be appreciative. H doesn't change who you are. When you love someone before H, you can love them after. H is a common virus. It doesn't define who you are at all. You can express this to her; if it helps, you can write her a letter so she can read it and think about how she wants to respond. Sometimes people react impulsively and say things they don't mean, so writing a letter helps you speak your mind and helps the other person formulate a response that isn't driven by extreme emotion. I am so proud of you, and so are others on the forum 🙂! Hold your head high and be kind to yourself. It will be alright. We are here for you! Blessings 🙂

@ellemmell (previously effe Studies do show that HSV outbreaks can decrease in frequency and/or severity over time, however this does not apply to all folks, and of course correlation does not equal causation. When it comes to the human body, there are SO many variables that impact different things, and remember, at different times in our lives, our hormones and bodies are changing. This is why sometimes people who didn't have many outbreaks before experience a sudden increase in severity/frequency during pregnancy, menopause, PMS, or if they get sick and have the flu or another medical event occur, etc. It doesn't happen to everyone, but it is a factor that could influence changes in outbreaks. Another thing you can do to figure out outbreaks is track them (similar to period tracking or allergen tracking). You can keep a calendar log of your outbreaks (see how long they are) and then log any changes in activity, medicines, stress levels, etc, and after collecting enough data (probably two months + worth) you can see if there are any factors that are causing your outbreaks to still be severe. Remember, although things have happened to others (whom we love and pray for and I hope they are doing so well! ❤️) does not mean these same things will happen to you ❤️. Every body (our literal bodies!) are different. If it stresses you out to read stories of others, try to avoid going down the google and blog-reading "rabbit hole". Your mental health matters! 🙂 Stay well and stay kind! Blessings! 🙂

@Bloomer Hello! I sadly still have not received any answers from UW! 😞 I am both sad and frustrated. However, I am going to reach out again. I know what you mean in terms of answers to questions... every day, progress and data is made and collected, and this is wonderful. There IS hope! The frustrating (but good) thing about the medical community is that they do not typically publish information until they are SUPER sure of something. So, while it seems nothing is being done, there is definitely SOMETHING being done. I have a friend who is a doctor of osteopathic medicine... I may interview him and see what his thoughts are on HSV and nerve issues. I will keep you all posted! 🙂 Stay strong, stay kind, and stay hopeful. This site is proof that hope and change are possible! 🙂 Blessings to all! 🙂

@livingbeyond Hi! Thank you for sharing that experience with everyone. I understand what you mean about people thinking HSV is blood-bourne (transmitted via blood or breast milk or fluids), when in reality it is spread via skin-to-skin contact with the infected area(s)! 110% I agree that education occurs when we bust myths, spread the truth, and focus on the facts. We ALL can be change-makers and heklp break the stigma of H! 🙂 Blessings!

Hi! I hope you are well. This is a wonderful question!! Thank you for asking this essential question. You have no reason to be sorry. Of course, you may feel a little upset because you wanted to be intimate with your partner, and sorry about the situation, but you yourself have NO reason to say sorry for anything; you didn't do anything wrong. You have no reason to apologize. You aren't at fault, you didn't harm anyone or hurt anyone. "I'm sorry" implies guilt or acknowledgement that you did something wrong. You didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes when we feel all this guilt and sadness and frustration, it makes us want to say "I'm sorry". However, find different language to express these feelings that actually applies to the situation (words that do not blame you) if you want to. You could say, "I wish I could be intimate with you." Or "I'm so excited to be intimate with you, and having to wait a little extra time is actually kind of romantic!" You may be scared he will reject you because of past experiences, but remember, fear is a liar, and love and respect and someone's actions all tell the truth! It's wonderful he didn't express anything mean and he went on with the plans you two made, because that's what really matters. Respect and kindness are essential foundations for a healthy happy relationship, and you deserve that! Stay strong and remind yourself you are not to blame, you aren't bad or an inconvenience AT ALL. When these thoughts arise remind yourself they stem from fear of abandonment or rejection, and you can let go of those fears now. Our brains try to protect us by reminding us of these fears, but sometimes they do it way too often, and we need to reassure ourselves that all is well and we are safe, especially in our own bodies, HSV and all. I hope this helps! Stay strong and try positive self talk and kindness. We are here for you! Thank you again for asking this amazing question and starting a discussion on such an important topic. Blessings! ☀️🦋🌳

@ellemmell (previously effe It's wonderful that you take such good care of yourself. You deserve to be happy and healthy. When something changes, such as suddenly getting two outbreaks, of course it starts a worry train that spirals. Worrying is like a rocking chair; it's something to do but you don't get anywhere! You may have experienced some type of change that triggered the outbreaks (maybe a new activity/amount of friction, new soap, maybe you caught a cold, etc). Have faith in your body. It is not the enemy! Your body is working so hard to take care of you. All our cells are constantly working to keep us well. Your body is for you, not against you. You are not doomed, and this is not your fault. Something that may help is something called Tapping, which is an Emotional Freedom Technique. Basically it's a form of meditation where you unconditionally love and accept yourself, regardless of possible outcomes, because when we do this, fear of the future no longer has power over us. Here is a wonderful video with tapping dude Brad Yates: And this site explains tapping: https://www.tapwithbrad.com/ You and your girlfriend can learn it together, too! It's a very healing and happy technique to have in your toolbox of stresse-reducers and as a tool to help make you happy and overcome guilt, shame, and fear. I hope this helps. Stay strong. You are a survivor and a warrior, nor a worrier!