Flowerteacher55

Hi, Friend! I hope you are well! It is so wonderful that you met this person and you are connecting! It is also so wonderful he was honest with you about his H. That shows he respects you, and that's great. No, you don't need to scrub your hands after you touch his penis. You really only would need to if he has an outbreak or is experiencing prodrome symptoms (symptoms that someone feels that lets them know they are virally shedding and could transmit the virus to their partner/another). But, typically people do not engage in intimacy with their area with HSV when they experience symptoms/prodrome, so you wouldn't be touching him there anyways, so you need not worry! 🙂 First, you can ask him about the game plan for how to communicate about it. You can ask that he let you know if he feels any prodrome symptoms before an outbreak, and abstain from touching that area if he gets any prodrome symptoms. You can also ask him if he takes suppressive medication (he most likely doesn't because he hasn't had an outbreak in so long). Also, as a general rule of thumb, you can ask him to get tested in a general STI panel, and you can get one too, to make sure you are both in good health standing! 🙂 I hope this helps! Reach out with any other questions. Blessings, grace

Hello! Sorry for the late reply. I hope you are doing okay! First, I am so sorry that this person did not tell you about their H until you were already getting intimate. That must have placed you in a very awkward position, and of course it isn't fair to disclose something to someone when their true feelings about a subject could be clouded by feelings of intimacy, serotonin, and adrenaline. So, it may be good for you to advocate for yourself an sit down with this person and let them know they should disclose things at appropriate times when you aren't placed in an uncomfortable position, and you can express you wish they would have told you sooner so you could have time to think and be prepared or do research if it made you feel more safe. Also, has this person ever had symptoms (tingling, itching, burning, redness, etc) in their genital region or oral region associated to HSV? That could help narrow it down to where the person may have it. However, if they are asymptomatic, which it seems like they are, then they most likley have not had any symptoms, not just no sores but also no itching, burning, tingling, etc. Second, to answer your questions: If this person has never had an outbreak and they are unsure of where they have HSV-2, it means they are very likely asymptomatic (they do not have sores when their virus is shedding). This means it is hard to tell when the person is shedding the virus. Even if they were shedding the virus, you could have potentially contracted it orally if you preformed oral sex, but you did not do that. You touched their area, but contracting HSV on the hands is rare because the skin on our hands is thick and does not have mucous membranes (where HSV likes to go). You also said you did not touch yourself, so that helps reduce the risk of transmission as well. You played it safe and that's great! As you said, oral HSV-2 is rare, so it is unlikely the person had it. I hope this helps! Feel free to reach out with any other questions. Monitor yourself for any symptoms or changes, and hang in there! ❤️ Blessings, grace

Hello! Sorry for the late reply. I hope you have been doing okay. I am so sorry you have been struggling. It sounds like your body is having a very adverse reaction to the virus. Are you on any medications or have any illnesses that suppresses the immune system? This could be why the outbreaks are so severe and are staying severe even as you have your sixth one. What medicine are you taking every day to help suppress outbreaks? It's possible your virus is resistant to the current medicine and you may need to try one of the other two antivirals (so for example, if you are taking Acyclovir, you would switch to Famcyclovir or Valacyclovir). How long do your outbreaks last? Is this sixth one lasting really long? If so, it may be best to head to the doctor or OBGYN and ask for a referral to a neurologist (HSV impacts the bundle of nerves at the base of the spine). Also, an antiviral injection IV may be helpful in soothing your nerves and reset your body to a state of not having to have an extreme inflammatory response. You deserve to be okay! ❤️ 'You may really need to push for the referral and to get IV medicine but your health is essential and you deserve to be heard and supported! In regards to how you contracted H, and how your partner contracted it, I am truly so sorry. Dishonesty is so cruel, and sadly cruel people take pride in their dishonesty and cruelty. I can't even imagine the emotional strain this has placed on your relationship. Please know that this person does not have the power to ruin your life and/or relationship. They are acting out of hate and jealousy, and those negative emotions are no match for love and kindness. Honestly, this person needs to back off. You and your fiance deserve to live your life happily! Also, it is okay if you need to grieve. Contracting H, especially with the people/relationship/context surrounding it that you mentioned, is perfectly normal. You may cry or be angry or be numb. Let yourself process everything and take out your emotions in a healthy way. Work on healing and loving yourself, and seek support from those in your life whom you can trust and who are kind and caring. We are here for you. Please reach out if you need anything, or someone to talk to! I am praying for you ❤️ Hang in there. You are a warrior! 🌻 Blessings, grace

Hi! Take a breath and be still. All is well and it will be okay ☀️🦋. I am currently at an Easter 🐇 party but I will respond to your post indepth ASAP! I just wanted to let you know your post has been read and you will receive a reply. Sending blessings and prayers your way! 🦋☀️

Hello, I am so sorry for the emotional and physical pain you've been experiencing. Please know that everything will be okay 🌻☀️. There is hope and healing headed your way! I am at a family Easter 🐇 party at the moment, and I will respond to your questions in depth ASAP. I just wanted to let you know I read your post and an answer is on the way! Stay strong and hang in there 💛. Love is the strongest force on the planet; a ride ex or HSV does not have the power to come in between the love and happiness you and your fiance share 💛. Sending blessings and prayers your way! 🌻🌈💛

Hello, Of course, we are here for you! I am so sorry you experienced assault. It is not your fault and you did not deserve that. I pray you heal in the ways you need to. Getting H from and/or associating it with a traumatic event is very difficult. I have H from an abusive ex and it definitely made the emotionally healing difficult (but healing is possible! ☺️). You are not alone. Reach out anytime and message me if you need support. Also, we can definitely script a disclosure talk. Blessings ☀️🦋!!

Hi! Oh okay, sorry about that! So you have HSV-1 but it hadn't shown symptoms so you were unsure of the location. It is possible you have it in both places, however you mention that you get this around your period. I actually have this weird thing where as my period ends I get itchy and red in my inner labia and it's so weird. I think it might be from the pH change from the menstrual blood and just having to wear a pad. Also, I feel a lot drier down there during my period which causes irritation, too. Also, inflammation from hormones can cause itching and swelling in the vaginal area as well. I'm unsure if a period alone would cause the cut-like mark you described. Have you noticed the cut oozing anything? Has it gotten worse, or does it stay the same and eventually heal? Herpes can present as cuts (versus the classic sores) and HSV can be triggered by hormones around menstruation. You could get the cut swabbed, especially if it's been 48 hours or less since you've noticed it. You still can get it swabbed after 48 hours of noticing it, but the test results are more likely to produce a false negative. I hope this helps! 🦋☀️🌻

@SailorSunshine Hello! No worries at all! I am so sorry you've been struggling. You deserve kindness and to let out your stress in health positive ways. Sometimes we engage in self-destructive behaviors because we feel like we don't deserve goodness and we need to be punished, but please please engage in behaviors that build you up, not tear you down ☀️🌻🕊️! In regards to your question, it is possible your partner passed it you down there through touching or saliva (if he licked or spit on his hand and then touched you). It is not really possible that your H is showing up down there when you have it orally. The only time that can hypothetically occur is if someone has an autoimmune illness and their body cannot contain the virus to the site of original infection. The symptoms you are describing could be thrush, a yeast infection of sorts, or another type of vaginal infection. Have you had any other symptoms like tingling or burning or itching down there? Have you been tested for a UTI or yeast infection, and/or have you been examined by a doctor or OBGYN? Stay calm and stay strong. You are a warrior! ❤️🌻 We are here for you. Reach out if you need any support! Sending blessings and prayers of happiness and health your way! 🦋☀️

Hello! I am so sorry for all of the stress you've been under. Please know you aren't bad or dirty or anything of the same. You are good. You are pure. You are worthy of love and kindness, and you have no reason to feel guilty or ashamed. It is normal to feel discomfort down there after your first outbreak, even after taking antivirals. The discomfort should go away soon. You could take suppressive medication but it's more commonly used by those who have GHSV-2 and/or have very frequent outbreaks. It is essential you talk to your girlfriend about this. Honesty shows respect, and you can't have a happy and healthy relationship without respect. I know it may be scary, and a lot of our fear comes from thinking we have a reason to be ashamed. Know and believe that you have nothing to be ashamed of. If anything, being honest to your partner can help bring you closer together because honesty is true intimacy! If you need help planning how to disclose, feel free to ask. You are not alone and we are all here for you! Sending blessings and prayers your way ☀️🕊️

Hooray! I am praying for you both ☀️🌈🐄 Also, I love cows, and I wasn't sure if the 'moo' in your username was about cows. So, in spirit of a cow pun... Good luck to Moo (You)! 🍀🐄 Blessings! ☀️

Also: if he starts getting defensive or you are afraid of an argument starting, write him a letter. Letters are wonderful because they give the person an opportunity to think before responding in emotion. Plus, it allows you to be honest and express how you feel without fear or judgement. Letters rock! 💛 💌 The Universe handed you this situation perhaps to strengthen your relationship and help you both get past the original issue of STIs before. You can express to him that you want to heal old wounds and recover and strengthen your relationship, and even though this situation is difficult, it is truly an opportunity to heal and grow stronger!! Blessings! ☀️🌻

Hello Friend 🌻💛 Please breathe and take a moment to pause and remind yourself that no matter what happens, you will make it through. Love is strong. H doesn't have the power to break it! If anything, the honesty and kindness that comes from disclosure can help boost love. It sounds crazy, but it's true! I'm so sorry that you've been having a rough time with things. Life will get better, and it will all be okay. It's always darkest before the dawn, and a rainbow is shining for you soon! I'm so sorry about the OBGYN not testing you for everything. Sadly, H is not testable via urine, and an STI panel does not include a blood test. Doctors do not explain this to people. It's really not okay. I am so so sorry about this. You deserved to have been told that a full STI panel does NOT test for HSV!! It's not your fault ❤️. If you can, get to a Planned Parenthood or OBGYN to get your labia sore and oral sores swabbed for viral culture. The viral swab test is most accurate within 48 hours of sores appearing, but you should try and get it even though it's over the 48 hours. Then, see what the results are. You could get an IgM blood test as well, but a swab test should be able to do the trick. However, this does sound like it could be primary outbreak since you felt like you were coming down with the flu and your glands were swollen and you had body aches, classic primary outbreak symptoms. It is possible he passed it to you, but of course he may not have known he has it. The best test for him would be an IgG blood test since it seems he is not actively showing symptoms. You definitely should tell your partner this is why you're being distant, otherwise it'll cause miscommunication and miscommunications are what lead to so many unnecessary arguments. In the end, you both want to have peace and love. You don't want to have another STI argument, so that's why you're afraid to talk about it, and you can definitely share this with him. Take turns speaking. Explain your worry, your fear, and your desire for a loving and kind and respectful relationship. The blame game isn't helpful for anyone; instead, examine this as a partnership: you BOTH deserve to be healthy and well, so of course you both should get tested. It's no one's fault and no one intended to pass HSV to another, especially since it seems neither of you knew/know you may have it! Basically, this is part of being intimate. Sometimes humans have common viruses and they get passed to one another. That's it. It doesn't mean you're dirty or bad or should be ashamed. It's a part of life. Have you ever had symptoms before? Have you ever gotten cold sores before? Has your boyfriend ever had cold sores or noticed sores on his parts? Sit down and have a discussion. Treat the situation like a doctor: no need to be angry or judgemental, but instead inquisitive with a desire to understand and heal. Make it a team approach for support and to show solidarity through this time ❤️ you can get a swab test and/or IgM blood test and he can get an IgM and IgG blood test. You obviously want this relationship to work 💛🌻 your kindness and love for him will shine through when you tell him 💛🌻 it's the honest moments that helps solidify a relationship. You can do this!! I hope this helps ❤️ Stay strong! Be honest. Be kind to yourself and forgive yourself (although you have no reason to be sorry). We are here for you! Reach out if you need help or want to script what you will say to him. Sending blessings and prayers your way! 💛 grace

Oh that is great! Typically, you should be fine then, but the swollen glands add in another part of the equation, especially if they have been swollen after three weeks of being healed. I'd definitely ask a doctor if that is a sign of still virally shedding or it if is a normal part of the healing process and not indicative of viral shedding.

Hi! Typically, the best is to wait 7 days from the first day all sores are healed and gone and you are not experiencing symptoms. What day were your sores completely gone and you were fully symptom-free (no itching, tingling, etc)? The swollen lymph nodes are technically a symptom, but they are swollen because they are fighting inflammation, infection, and building up antibodies. I am not sure if they are a sign that you are still possibly shedding the virus. You could call and ask your doctor or the nurse on call, or call a Planned Parenthood or reproductive health clinic and speak to a nurse or doctor. I hope this is helpful! 🌻 I'm sorry I don't have a more precise answer. Blessings, grace

Hi! I hope you are well. Thank you for sharing your story with us; many folks can totally relate. Please know and believe that you are enough. You are pure. You are a blessing. Having H does not change those truths! Contracting H was not your fault. You have no reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed or guilty. You are a wonderful human with a common virus. You are not defined by H at all! I am so happy for you and it's great that you met someone you really like. Disclosing can be so so scary, especially if you've had someone be closed-minded before. However, remember that the way people treat you is a reflection of THEM, not of you. You are wonderful! If someone reacts in a closed-minded or ignorant way, that's on them, and it's their loss. You wouldn't want to be with someone like that anyways! You deserve someone who is kind and loving to you and loves you just as you are 🌻❤️. Don't settle for less than you deserve! I recommend that you find a good time to tell him when he isn't already stressed about something (work, school, etc). Sometimes when we tell someone something they react in a way they normally wouldn't because they are under stress. So, you can arrange for a time to talk or ask them before you disclose and say, "is now a good time to talk?". Or, ask them how their day was before you tell them to see if they had a bad day or a good day. When you disclose, it's great to preface with, "I really care about you and I see this relationship moving forward, and I trust you, so I am going to tell you something and I need you to just listen." This way, you can speak freely without interruption and it gives them time to think and formulate a response that is thoughtful. Also, don't feel obligated to share anything you don't want to. You don't need to talk about your ex or any details that are not essential (such as having GHSV-1). Then, when you're done, you can ask them if they have any questions. If you are uncomfortable with a question or you don't know an answer, be honest and let them know. You can provide them with resources to engage in scientific research (versus random rabbit-hole googling!) as well, such as the fact sheets on this website, which I can provide the links to if you would like them. Remember, you do NOT need to apologize. You have no reason to say "Sorry, but I have H," because you have no reason to be sorry or ashamed. Hold your head high, and be kind to yourself. You can do this, and we are here to help you!! ☀️🌈 Reach out if you need help or support, or want to script what you want to say. Sending blessings and prayers to you!! ☀️🌻🌈 grace

Hi!! I am so sorry that you've been under such stress. Please know you are not alone and your body will heal ❤️ it just takes time. The skin is such a strong and important organ, but an out reak, especially a primary outbreak, really is traumatic for the skin. Luckily, skin cells work hard to heal. Sometimes, new skin looks lighter in color than the skin around it, and this is normal. The swollen lymph nodes are a common symptom before and during the outbreak, but the swelling should decrease after the sores go away. The only reason I could think that your glands are still swollen is because your body is making antibodies. Lymph nodes swell when they produce these. You can always call your doctor and check ❤️! Your health matters 🌻! Sending prayers of health and healing your way! ☀️ grace

Hello, 🍀 Below is my response from the other post, but I added in another answer for your question 3.! See below at the clover🍀🍀 Please know that there is hope and this is not going to be this way forever! ☀️🌈 Since you're still pretty new to having H, it's normal for the body to still take some time to get used to it. You might get outbreaks and or prodrome more at first but as time goes on they may decrease in number and severity (especially for GHSV-1, which usually is not as frequent or severe in general). The prodrome symptoms are most likely staying at prodrome and not causing an outbreak because you're taking medicine. So you are taking it every day, correct? Have you stopped taking it at all or missed any doses prior to this sudden prodrome occurrence? Have you been doing anything that may be placing stress on the lower back, or have you gotten a cold or flue recently? Sometimes physical irritation of the lower spinal nerves or even getting a cold or flu can trigger prodrome and/or outbreaks. Friction also can trigger outbreaks, such as masturbation. Tight clothing also can be a trigger. There is also something that can happen after you get herpes called post herpetic neuralgia. Basically, your nerve bundle at the base of your spine is inflamed and may cause the firing of neurons which cause pain or tingling. For many folks who have this/have had it, it should go away as time passes. You could ask your doctor about it and see if your situation fits the diagnosis criteria, etc. Are your prodrome symptoms mainly tingling? If so, that sounds neurological, and could be the post herpetic neuralgia. Also, do you have any other prodrome symptoms and if so what are they? If your prodrome symptoms get worse or increase in duration or frequency, get checked out by the doc just to make sure you're okay. To answer your second question, typically about 7 days is the safest bet. Prodrome symptoms indicate viral shedding, so it's always safest to wait 7 days from the first day that they are fully gone (so technically 8 days fully symptom-free). Even with medication, taking precautions and waiting the full 7 days always is best! 🍀🍀🍀 To answer your third question, that's a really interesting question!! I honestly am not sure. I can look into it and get back to you! What I do know is sometimes the body gets too used to an antiviral and the virus builds up a resistance to it, so people have to take a new antiviral (so if you're taking Valtrex you'd try Acyclovir or Famcyclovir). You could talk to your doctor about getting a new antiviral if they think resistance could be the issue. Also, you can ask a pharmacist about the specifics-- they are great with understanding the pharmacology and biological impacts of taking medicine! You could even ask them if the anitviral reduce the body's ability to create antibodies. I hope this helps. Stay well! ☀️

Hello, Please know that there is hope and this is not going to be this way forever! ☀️🌈 Since you're still pretty new to having H, it's normal for the body to still take some time to get used to it. You might get outbreaks and or prodrome more at first but as time goes on they may decrease in number and severity (especially for GHSV-1, which usually is not as frequent or severe in general). The prodrome symptoms are most likely staying at prodrome and not causing an outbreak because you're taking medicine. So you are taking it every day, correct? Have you stopped taking it at all or missed any doses prior to this sudden prodrome occurrence? Have you been doing anything that may be placing stress on the lower back, or have you gotten a cold or flue recently? Sometimes physical irritation of the lower spinal nerves or even getting a cold or flu can trigger prodrome and/or outbreaks. Friction also can trigger outbreaks, such as masturbation. Tight clothing also can be a trigger. There is also something that can happen after you get herpes called post herpetic neuralgia. Basically, your nerve bundle at the base of your spine is inflamed and may cause the firing of neurons which cause pain or tingling. For many folks who have this/have had it, it should go away as time passes. You could ask your doctor about it and see if your situation fits the diagnosis criteria, etc. Are your prodrome symptoms mainly tingling? If so, that sounds neurological, and could be the post herpetic neuralgia. Also, do you have any other prodrome symptoms and if so what are they? If your prodrome symptoms get worse or increase in duration or frequency, get checked out by the doc just to make sure you're okay. To answer your second question, typically about 7 days is the safest bet. Prodrome symptoms indicate viral shedding, so it's always safest to wait 7 days from the first day that they are fully gone (so technically 8 days fully symptom-free). Even with medication, taking precautions and waiting the full 7 days always is best! I hope this helps. Stay well! ☀️

@DeMar Such a beautiful story ☀️ congrats on your 2 year anniversary!! Blessings to you and your partner!!

Hi! Of course. We are all here to listen any time! Stay strong and be kind to yourself. Your happiness matters, and it's the one thing you can control ☺️☀️! Blessings!

Hi! I am so sorry that you are struggling with this. Please know you can let go of you guilt and sadness. You can forgive yourself and the situation and your ex. Resentment and guilt only hold you down, and you can let go of these. You deserve happiness 🌱🌻 I'm sorry your ex was unfaithful. In many relationships, people are unfaithful. Often times a key question that must be asked (that isn't often asked), is "why?". Of course, the reasons do not justify the behavior, however it can open a dialogue and help establish closure, and then, if you and the other person choose, a new relationship can be formed. Also, asking why she wants to get back together is essential, too. Remember, you have to address the weeds in the garden before you plant new flowers; otherwise the weeds (resentment, past hurts, etc) will choke out the flowers you're trying to grow (your new relationship). Also, it is essential to ask yourself "why" as well: why do you want to get back together with her? Will it release you from the guilt, or do you actually love her and see yourself with her as healthy and wonderful and all that love should be? Is it out of obligation for giving her H (which isn't your fault, you were honest about it and she knew risks)?. Also, you may feel so guilty because you weren't as invested in the relationship at one point but continued anyways, and perhaps you feel like maybe you wouldn't have given her H if you would've ended things right then and there. However, that's honestly normal to maybe not feel 100% confident in a relationship but continue it anyways. Sometimes we feel like our relationships aren't going anywhere but we stay in them because we hope they will become something more, or we want to work on the relationship and improve it, or we don't want to be lonely. However, it is respectful to ourselves and the other person to be honest about things. Should you have ended it then and there? Perhaps. But you didn't, and what happened has happened, and I'm sure it happened for a reason. Honestly, you could sit and talk with her about all of this; it may be uncomfortable and confusing but it'll help your friendship and/or relationship grow and heal, which is beneficial to you both. Let go of your guilt and shame and sadness and you'll be able to think more clearly ☀️. Honestly is essential. You being honest to yourself, her being honest with herself, and the two of you being honest with each other all matters. You both feel bad about something; unfaithfulness and passing H, and maybe talking about it would help 💛. Reach out if you need any support! Sending blessings and prayers your way 🌻 Blessings, grace

Of course. Feel free to reach out if you need anything. Stay confident and hold your head high. You have no reason to be ashamed or fearful. You can do this! Blessings! 🙂

Hi! Congratulations on your relationship and your new job location! That sounds very exciting. Change is good and you deserve these good things and more! ☀️🌻 You could tell her over the phone or on FaceTime or Zoom or Skype, so it's more personable. Disclosing is really scary, especially when it's to someone you REALLY like. However, this person REALLY likes you, too! So, it should all be okay 🍀. Have no fear, have faith! You can even explain to her you'd ideally want to do this in person, however you respect her and want to talk about it now (especially since you have been flirty and such through the phone 📱). You value honestly and you respect her, and she will appreciate that. You can explain how you have had it for years and you rarely get outbreaks, and if you want, you can read up on the helpful disclosure and diagnosis sheets on this website, so you have data to give her about transmission rates, etc. I can share the links to the sheets if you need them, too! It will be okay! If you need any support please reach out. Blessings, grace

Hi!! 🙂 I'm so happy I could helpful provide information!! Knowledge is power 🙂!! I don't see the attachment! 😞 Maybe try uploading it again? Aww, thank you for your kind words and blessings!!! Stay well and stay kind to yourself! You are a warrior! ❤️❤️

Hi! I totally understand ❤️ All is well! You are not alone and your symptoms are not unusual. The weird sensation is common to have after the first outbreak, especially if the sores are still healing. Because H lives in the bundle of nerve at the base of the spine, it can cause neurological symptoms such as tingling or itching sensations. How long has it been since you finished the antivirals, and how many days did you take them for? I completely understand using a makeup mirror to examine! Don't get too worried about it, and try not to hyper-focus on it. Sometimes we can get psychosomatic symptoms (we think about our symptoms so much we actually make them worse!). Thanks for clarifying about your testing. Do you happen to know which test you got first that came back negative and which test came back positive (the IgM or the IgG?). The IgM test cannot determine strain, but the IgG can! So, if your IgM test is the one that came back positive, that means you would have to wait about 12+ weeks to have an IgG, which would tell you the strain you have. The test results would literally tell you the type, and of course your OBGYN or doctor should be able to tell you the specific results of that test. If they don't tell you, really push them and make them either show you the results or ask the legit number results for type 1 and type 2 from the IgG test. Also, yes, there are PCR swab tests that are helpful to have done when you have active sores. However, they are only reliable within the first 48 hours of noticing sores. The swab test is pretty accurate but it's prone to human error, because if not enough of the virus is swabbed from a sore, it can produce false negatives. I know that Brazil is currently facing some issues with women's reproductive rights; are there any centers in Brazil where you could receive some support and testing with doctors who will tell you the results? Sending blessings of health and happiness your way! 🙂 Stay strong, and remember that You are beautiful. You are pure. You are worthy of love and respect... ALWAYS! 🙂 💛🌻 Blessings, grace