2Legit2Quit

No it doesn't and it was normal to feel like you had a giant secret every time speaking to soneone, I felt the same way. I stayed away from people my first two months after diagnosis, because I felt like I was just gonna tell everyone. It was such a strange phenomenon to feel like you are lying to people that you're not even close w. Hope you're feeling better about things.

@DanaaaaaasaurDanaaaaaasaur which nerve pain meds are you on? Neurontin worked for me.

I don't know how it could be inconclusive? Did you guys ask what the values were? That doesn't sound right, the test results don't post as negative or positive, a negative test result even has a value. I'd request to see the tests. When I took a test a week after infection z it came back negative, although it was obvious I had it, but I hadn't built antibodies, but my culture did come back positive. 3 months later I got blood drawn again and that time I came back positive. So there's a value 0.00 - 1.09 is negative and anything over 1.10 is a positive. Maybe off on my numbers a little, but was showing an example of what I mean. I'd be suspicious, especially w all his other behaviors. Dancer will likely have more insight on that, than I.

Glad, hope it does give you guys some hope.

Ahh... OK.. Makes sense now. Thought you guys were misspelling skin! Lmao! I think female condoms are your first bet, as they allow a penis to move normally as it would w no condom

*deter him

For all of you out there who fear rejection, give people the benefit of the doubt; you may be surprised. This is someone I had a brief romance w on and off spaces out a yr at a time, but we bicker too much. He was professing his feelings for me today and I used herpes to try and get him to run and it didn't work. I threw out there how there's always going to be a risk, even w precautions taken and how will you feel if you get it and he said I took a chance.... I inquired about how he felt about not having spontaneous sex at times, does he really want to deal w that and he stated there's always other things you can do. Any attempt I made to determine him, did not push him away. So hopefully this helps give some hope, that it's not always going to end w rejection.

@bootox I wrote down daily in a journal any symptoms I had and triggers, so I could learn my body. You'd be surprised at some funny sensations you may get and not associate it to herpes, unless you pay attention. I can get a crawling sensation, a tickle, my skin feeling more sensitive in a spot, itchy in a specific spot every time ..

@bootox he never brought it up and I was OK w it after about two months since we started fooling around.

@WCSDancer2010 I'm going to have to graciously disagree w you. The are too porous and I pulled this from planned parenthood site. What about lambskin condoms? When it comes to protecting against STDs, there really aren’t a lot of benefits to using a lambskin condom (also called a sheepskin condom). Some people use them because they think they are more “natural,” which may offer an appealing aesthetic. It’s true that lambskin is natural — “skin” is a euphemism for intestines. Yup, this condom is made from the digestive tract of a sheep. The intestines are the site of the majority of digestion — it is here that foods are blasted with enzymes and broken down into small pieces. When the pieces are small enough, they are absorbed through tiny holes in the intestine’s porous membrane. Intestines, by their very nature, must be permeable — otherwise, malnutrition and starvation would result. So, yes, lambskin condoms are “natural” — and so are the holes through which viruses (also “natural”!) can pass. According to the FDA, lambskin condoms have not been shown to protect against the passage of viruses, such as HIV, herpes, or human papillomavirus (HPV). In the early 1990s, Trojan-brand lambskin condoms were recalled en masse by the FDA because they didn’t contain adequate labeling. There were reports from customers who had used these condoms and, despite believing they were practicing safer sex, contracted HIV.

@Iamstill_me did they test you for Sjogrens? Dry eyes and mouth, fatigue and other symptoms you have are classics Sjogrens. You do not always come up positive in blood for Sjogrens, many are diagnosed by symptoms. I was diagnosed w Sjogrens and hypothyroidism last yr. Contracting HSV 2, cause me to develop chronic fatigue syndrome. I highly recommend seeing a different rheumatologist, because I cannot believe they didn't test you for Sjogrens. Most everyone has EBV.. I never got monk as a kid, but the rhuem tested me as well and shows very low antibodies, which means passed on from my parents or old infection from childhood. They only test for that to make sure it hasn't reactivated, which can cause a lot of the symptoms you are having. I spent almost a yr trying to get diagnosed. I know what you're going through. It sounds like your herpes is symmetic and you need to be on daily therpay of valtex. When I quit my valtrex, my chronic fatigue set in aggressively. Herpes cases aches in my hips, buttcocks and back of thighs. People who have autoimmune disease, react more severely to herpes and I has a suspicion you have lupus or Sjogrens. The first two years of symptoms I had before being diagnosed w Sjogrens, I had major ear issues and Always felt something was stuck in my throat and still do. That's your throat being dry, because Sjogrens attacks the salivary glands and they stop producing mucous. In regards to your mouth w a white film substance, sounds like you may have thrush in your mouth, from a compromised immune system. Start taking probiotics immediately. I also highly recommend having your house tested for mold, due to the symptoms you and your son are having and lymes disease.

Yaahhj! So happy for you ladies! I hope when I'm ready for a relationship, that I will have success like you guys as well. I have much bigger things to work on w in myself, that's much bigger than herpes.

Hhoe does a 12.3 IgG mean negative? That is positive and I'm going to assume that was meant to be 1.23 and that is a positive test result, which can be pulled from the testing sites to show you the values used for testing negative or positive.. Maybe I missed something here, but I'm confused now.

You know skin ones don't protect you from virus and are only for contraception right @sannigor ?

I agree w everything they all said.... Major red flags going off here! Sounds like a lot of emotional manipulation. He's playing some sort of cat/mouse fame w you, w the conflicting statements and accusations he's making... Be careful. Make sure you ask to see his test results.

WCSDancer2010 in regards to the married for 30yrs couple. How do you not know for sure he didn't cheat? How do we not know he hasn't had it all this time and she just caught it?

The nerve pain meds took the pain away, but I still had constsnt paresthesia non stop the entire 4 mo ths I was on nerve pain meds. I just didn't feel like a burn victim anymore. Only way to find out is to try it.

Wow...... That when down an unintended path.... I read no judgement or anywhere anyone should feel they have to defend themselves. I think it is common to project anger onto other's, that you have no where else to project and that's normal. I actually think that's why I've been such a bitch to a couple of guys I dated since my diagnosis. I was projecting my feelings of men all being sex driven deviants, who wreck havoc on others life w no care. I didn't get to take my anger out on my giver, he bolted as soon as I confronted him. So I was just angry and it has taken me almost a yr later to finally realize how angry I have been this last yr. It's the worst feeling when your choice is robbed from you. It absolutely is the feeling of violation like rape or robbery. I get it.... Totally get it.... @DrNoLoveDrNoLove Promise you though, nobody was mocking your feelings or telling you they were wrong, they were just wanting to provide guidance.. Hope you're feeling better about this, these days.

@bootox also keep in mind that sex even I'm a relationship w someone else is ALWAYS a risk even if both parties are STD free. You are trusting a person to neevr cheat and told bringing something back home to you. I have a few friends who got it that way. W sex there will always be a risk. You still koss someone who gets cold sores right? So why is it any different? You gotta stop getting caught up in the stigma....

@bootox, my ex husband had warts and initially I used condoms during oral sex & eventually was OK w out them and never got it. People will see your worth the risk. I knew my exea diagnosis before we ever had sex and although I waited longer than I normally would to have had sex, there was still no question that I wanted to stick around w him, just needed time to feel comfortable and feel reassured we were moving forward for the long haul. You are waaaaayyy over thinking this, but we all do at times. I even have moments once in a blue moon and usually pm Dancer about it, as I'm not as fond about showing my moments of weakness, as I'm used to always being the strong one for people. 6 months in, I was still anxious about it, but more relaxed than you are now. I am 1 mo th put from my one yr and o have to many friends that have herpes long before I got it and are all married to people that are H negative. Sometimes I get in my head too, just don't stay there.

I get itching on and off as well and for me, I take that as a sign of shedding and its always in the same locations. My lavender Epsom salt baths stop it immediately and then nothing after that for another mo th almost x where the itching presents again.

I've had a herpes red bump, but on my genitals w a hole in the middle. That was a first for me, after having it for almost a yr. This virus just has no one size fits all and I've had it be so unpredictable. Most everyone has oral herpes, so I wouldn't worry about it.

Thanks guys, love hearing stories like this!! <3

Just so you guys know, my best guy friends ex wife didn't tell him she had it for 3yrs. Obviously he wasn't happy about it, but they were together for 7 total. I asked him to be honest, would he ever be w someone who has herpes again and he said yeah, it's not that big of a deal. He didn't catch it either BTW. Give people the benefit of the doubt, they may surprise you. There is a guy from another forum who I gave advise to, and he learned a week after sleeping w someone, from her friend, that she had it. He was more concerned about how she felt, then his risk. He said he doesn't care and she's worth the risk and that was only after 4 dates. Fear and guilt is the scariest part than the rejection. Just like the anticipation of jumping out of a plane was scarier for me, than once we actually left the plane. Anticipation that drags on, will only compound your fears and anxieties more. Just take the leap of faith now, because your fear is reaching epic proportions and you may never follow through and be left w the guilt forever. Do you really want that on your shoulders?

Hun, im gonna go out on a limb here and say that's your anxiety rooted deep in you and projecting it through herpes. I could be wrong, but I have a feeling your anxiety is much deeper than just herpes and this is something you can pin point it on. I don't have kids, but being that most get oral herpes as children, it's just as common as a kid getting chicken pox as a kid. You are letting the stigma control you way to much and impacting your life. You've never had a cold sore, but maybe it's not on your mouth and is on your genitaks only. Do not allow this to dictate your life so much and maybe see someone about dealing w your anxiety. Millions every day raise children w have oral herpes, stop treating yourself like you're a contagious leper.