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EricaBlue

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  1. Two of my favourites - "Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like." Will Smith "My choice is what i chose to do; and if I'm causin no harm, it shouldn't bother you. Your choice is who you chose to be; and if your causin to harm, then your alright with me." Ben Harper - burn one down
  2. So glad to hear this happened for you. I think it's a turning point. The way you described your life in Miami in another post...work gym eat sleep...sounded exactly like my friend described his life after he found out. Like he was living in a fog. It went on for a couple of years. Then he met someone who took a risk with him...accepted his state. She "unlocked" him he said. Seems maybe your friend did the same for you. Things will begin to brighten for you now.
  3. Dis-ease. Perfect. Sexy back is one of my favs too. And the care in yourself like taking time to look and feel great. That completely works to turn your head around. Thanks for the chit chat here too. Feels so good that others 'get it'.
  4. I had symptoms exactly like a uti 3 days after I contracted it. Heavy achey lower abdomen, pink pee, burning during urination, white blood cells, fever, chills. I was even treated for a uti initially. But since then haven't experienced those symptoms at all.
  5. Hi tNd I can completely relate to what you say you feel. I've always been extremely physical and when I first found out I totally shut down....to others and to myself. Physically and emotionally. All of it. I couldn't even bring myself to 'look after' myself. I didn't even have the urge at all for nearly a month. I was kind of numb. I honestly honestly thought I'll never feel clean or sexy or desirable again. I believed that to the core. It was over. I remember watching a scene in a tv show at that point. Do you know house of cards with Kevin spacey? He was going down on his young reporte
  6. Yes it does. Especially when you use the car accident analogy. I guess I was getting stuck in the meaning of percent and getting worried about inevitabilities. Thanks for some piece of mind!
  7. So if I've got my stats correct if I take a daily anti viral and have my herpes free partner wear a condom, there's about a 1% chance of transmission. Now, does that mean that if I have sex with him 100 times he'll likely contract it?
  8. Just watched this video....wow. I was really moved. Moved enough to step out of my closet just a little more today by posting a picture. Scary but feels right at the same time. Thanks
  9. Thanks so much to everyone for their encouraging and supportive responses and personal stories. I'm still surprised by how much these exchanges help in such a massive way. A few weeks ago I'd never have imagined. Today has been one of my best days in the last month. I know this mutual sharing played a big part. I'm so thankful for this forum!!
  10. EricaBlue

    Scared

    Hi cr I'm glad you took the step to open up about your situation. I really think it will help you move onto acceptance and ultimately being truly peaceful with your new reality - one which we all share! I hope you're coming to see that we all need things at different times in our lives but that does not make us needy or dependant. It just means you are looking for support at a difficut time. That's ok. It's natural and you'll pay it forward in time. Nobody needs to validate that you are ok. You are as is and will continue to be. However, based on my own experience, it does take some
  11. Thanks for sharing this Lelani - and for the virtual hugs! Logically what you and the others say makes sense so ill have to work through 'feelings' till i can get to the otherside. Itll come. Such a strange place to be. One of a majority, the majority of which have no idea.
  12. Hey jessi Feel ur pain. It's been 5 weeks since I was diagnosed with herpes. Now I'm sure I have hpv too. All from a one nighter with the same 'donor'. I'm having such a hard time here. If one wasn't enough. I'm going to the doctor on Monday to confirm. It's like I'm in an alternate reality. I'm having a harsh Time dealing. I read Adrials stats and judiths response but I still feel all alone. Sooo alone. How are you making out?
  13. Hi lelani Thanks for your thoughtful response. My spot is lonely in the romantic sense but I'll always respect and love my husband as a wonderful friend. He's the best kind of man. It's just many years ago I lost the physical attraction to him. I don't understand why but its just been in the last couple of years that I've accepted that as is and have stopped blaming it on extraneous things. It just is and has been for so long. We have discussed all this and have stopped sex and sleeping together a while ago. My anxiety level has dropped off significantly since I don't feel obl
  14. I was recently handed herpes by a man who I now know has views similar to yours. When I think about the psychological turmoil I've struggled with since my first infection I can't help but feel a little anger when I read your post. Denying a person a choice by not disclosing is possibly permenantly changing their lives without them knowing. Who has the right to do that to anyone? You said you were depressed when you first found out. Can you not empathize with how your partners may feel if they acquire the virus? I guess I just don't understand where you are coming from both from the
  15. Lelani - You can't know how much your post has just helped me just now - given me hope, motivation, promise, and a will to turn around the negativity that has washed over me since I was told I had herpes nearly 3 weeks ago. For the last three weeks I've given up I guess. Stopped caring for my body and mind, rejected my friends, taken sick days just because, and overall accepted that I'd be alone forever. After all, who'd want me this way? Really. Today was really hard. It was a beautiful hot day and my friends were encouraging me to go for drinks after work. Weeks ago I'd have loved
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