Guy84

I’m 100% sure your GP will write you a prescription. And if not change GP.

It's safe to say a lot of people on here did not know how easy it is to transmit HSV1 from the mouth to down there (and vice versa, HSV2 aka genital herpes to the mouth can happen). Most people don't get symptoms. It sucks we become "educated" after-the-fact. Also, some people thought they were extra careful and used condoms, yet they still got it (yup, that's my example). Be thankful you have an awesome family and husband for support. You both can lean together. On the bright side, it's just an occasional "nuisance" and you don't have to worry about disclosing...you know? However, you both should be somewhat careful with kissing your kids...but I figure you already know how contagious cold sores are (even without symptoms).

Avoid sex during an OB even if you both have HSV 1/2. The “emotional” support goes a long way. And from what I read, you can get it down there even if you or your partner have it orally. I’m not sure if you can be “asymptomatic” in one area and not the other...but in general it’s a good idea to avoid sexual contacts and kisses during visual OB’s.

Do you have Quest Diagonistic in your area? Online STD websites uses it, and some websites are partially covered by insurance (I used STD Express). My results came with an Igg score (15+)....but had no symptoms. If you want to, do another test that gives you details. You don’t need a new doctor, don’t waste your time. I still regret getting tested, but it is what it is. Better to now worry about disclosing versus future wife thinking I was unfaithful. Quite honestly OP, you or your partner probably got it before you were dating. I wouldn’t dwell on how it was received.

OP, that’s very irresponsible of you to continue doing what you are doing. We’re all adults and both sides you take precautions and regularly get tested, but imo you’re playing with fire especially with two guys in the picture.

It's pretty odd that he would aquire H from a one time incident if you were having no ob. It can happen, but not likely. I'm wondering if his test was accurate?? Not uncommon. Unfortunately.

I'm not defending her. There could be a possibility that she is having a hard time accepting herpes. There are other stories of people not disclosing because the fear of rejection and what not. You know her best, did you have a serious talk about why she didn't disclose before? If you think she's a genuine person...and the relationship was "leading somewhere...".....I'd at least try to understand why she did not disclose...and emphasis "trust" in the relationship moving forward. If you think she has issues opening up to you emotionally (while sober)....then you should re-evaluate your relationship.

Congrats man.

Weird. I concur with HikingGirl. My doctor told me to take 500 mg once a day (breaking the valtrex pill in half). You only need to take the full pill if you're showing symptoms/outbreaks.

Hi There - I went to see a STD doctor/specialist too (after I got diagnosed with hsv2). Just to let you know, I used protection and still got it (can't say if she was on antivirals or not). You did your research. The best way to minimize risk is for the both of you to take valtrex daily and use a condom. My STD Specialist said it's less than 1% risk. Keep in mind that asymptomatic shedding is still a possibility. Some people will get breakouts once or twice a year even on antivirals. My question to you....are you both looking for a serious & long-term relationship with the goal of marriage? You've already hinted that you'll be devastated if you were diagnosed with hsv2. My advice is to take a slow if you both are thinking long-term...and maybe you'll like (or love?) him enough to where it wouldn't matter. But..if not...then you should just be friends and move on.

OP - Your wife is out of hand. I feel like there's other things brewing outside of the hsv stuff. But yeah, it's possible to transmit hsv1 down there. However, it doesn't rule out that she may have had hsv2 prior to your relationship (or you had it prior). You should try to support her and educate her, but looks like she's being stubborn. If it helps, see a therapist but I'm assuming she won't be supportive of it. Sucks man, but try to sweet talk her after the symptoms clear up and the initial shock is over.

You should be okay. For all you know, you dodged the bullet there (not the other way around). Are you not taking antivirals? Although it was embarrassing, you made a good call (im assuming you didn't have any condoms). I wouldn't worry about it, imo.

This is what I learned... if you both have hsv-2 and not hsv-1, you're pretty much okay. However, if one of you have both hsv1 and hsv2, you can spread hsv1 to your partner. Makes sense?

You should be taking valtrex as a maintenance dose everyday (half a pill / 500mg)....you can still shed without visual symptoms, taking valtrex everyday will lower the chances of shedding the virus. So, that'a my suggestion if you want your BF to perform oral on you...and my advice is for him to take it too even if he's negative...and even during protected sex you should be on a daily dose.

Hi Bluessinger, are you part of a union for your profession?

You can actually pass hsv2 to him. Are you taking antivirals (like Valtrex)? My internal medicine doctor (who specializes in STDs) said if both partners take valtrex...it lower the chances of transmission, but there's still a low risk. Props to you for having an understanding boyfriend though.

Hi designergirl, your comments gave me hope. Thanks

Hi Fatal, if you need someone to chat with...feel free to message me. I'm also having a tough time...although I have hsv--2 which society has deemed its the bad version of herpes. But, I totally understand your shock and how people will perceive you when a breakout occurs. All I can tell you is that my cousin has cold sores and I never thought anything from it. He had breakouts during our teenage years. However, if i told people I technically had gential herpes...people would sing a different tune. But yes, having hsv1 (or hsv2))...the anxiety of ....is it okay to kiss your family on the cheek or if someone asked if they can try your drink or food....you feel scared and what not. ..

Not sure if there's free clinics for full panel test, but probably subsidized if its a non profit. It wouldnt hurt just to call around.

Thanks for your kind words all. But I feel for people with HIV more greatly now...there are people out there that probably were in a similar scenario as us...but their partner just happen to have it. But I'd agree, I can't fathom if I had contracted something much more worse.

Hi Wander - I was diagnosed this past week with HSV-2. I'm also running into your situation and needing to tell the girl I'm dating that I have it. There are good success stories here, maybe they can chime in on how to tell your partner.

You should get tested. Most people will not show any symptoms (like me), and she probably didn't show visual signs (but can still spread it). Google STD testing and get tested. You'll go to a Lab to draw your blood and get a urine sample. If you have insurance, you can still go through an online STD site and pay $100. Otherwise, a full STD with Herpes IGG is like $150-$200. ...assuming you want to do it confidentially outside your primary care dr. (And if you want to go thru your PC dr.,, you have to specifically request herpes IGG...from what I read from other users).

This post and reading the comments have given me hope. Thank you.

Hi All - I just got diagnosed this past week as well. I'm still struggling to accept it. And, how to tell the girl I'm currently dating (no sex yet). I'm afraid of the outcome. Also, asbyou mentioned....If I can find someone to accept this and if she'll want to marry me.

Thanks for the comment and your story. With me, I have no visual symptoms. Still doesn't change the fact what happened. Sigh.