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Newbie2018

Looking for guidance - no condoms

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I was married for 20 years and now separated and going through a divorce.  I met someone who is very special and I'm looking forward to seeing where our relationship goes.  She disclosed to me 3-4 weeks after meeting.  My response was... I don't want HSV2 to define our relationship.  Now, 6 months later things are going great.  We were having sex with condoms and recently stopped using them (only 3 times without condoms so far).  I have been tested after the last time and I am negative so far.  She only has outbreaks a couple times a year and is very aware of her body.  She also tells me when she is feeling  "something".  I know there are risks.  I just want to know how to minimize them while NOT using condoms.  I'm also looking to hear "success" stories of men who have sex with their partner and haven't yet contracted HSV2.  

 

For those of you who have HSV2, please take to heart, when you meet someone special it will work out.  Some of the best "sex" we had was before we actually had intercourse.  

 

Thanks in advance for your insight/guidance.

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You are rolling the dice without protection and antiviral therapy—I’ve had it for 30 plus years(decades before knowing) and I’m not aware of transmitting to anyone. 

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Agreed that you are rolling the dice by not using condoms. That said, I was diagnosed as HSV2+ about a year ago, have been with my boyfriend for 8 months, we have not used condoms in 6 months (and being honest, we weren't good about using them before then either, but have been exclusively no condoms for 6 months), and he is still negative.

I don't take antivirals, but I also have never had an outbreak that I'm aware of. My boyfriend understands that there is always a small risk that I could shed the virus to him, but he has been willing to take that risk and it is not a big deal to him. He had the same reaction that you did...that HSV2 does not define our relationship. It actually has had zero impact on our relationship and it's something that we honestly don't even discuss and have not discussed beyond the initial disclosure and a mention of it once the next day.

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