Dreading reliving this.

[Klopz]

As said in my previous post I received the phone call saying my blood work was negative. Over two weeks taking this all in and then I get the call. I know I should be happy, but apparently my results were inconclusive and I have to go back to get retested. I don't know why but this morning I am feeling so annoyed, sad, frustrated, etc. I jusy feel like i already went through this i dont want to do it again, im scsred that itll be positive I'm scared of not knowing again. I have always been the kind of person that is not afraid to face life head on, but I cannot be in the dark about anything. Granted, in life I will be kept in the dark many many times. I'm just frustrated that I was already accepting of this and now I'm once again in the dark. What happens if I go in get blood work and the number is the same, and even if the blood work shows a higher number I'm going to feel disappointed again because I had hope for a little. I guess part of me is saying you've already been accepting of this nothing should change but that small hope just feels heartbreaking. I don't know if I'm making any sense and I'm sorry for whining. I was also wondering if anyone knew if getting blood work done during a OB would cause blood work to be a higher positive. Any who thank y'all for listening to me rant..

[HerryTheHerp]

Breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out. You'll get through this.

 

Herpes can be frustrating. One minute everything is going fine and the world is your oyster. The next minute, well, SQUIRREL! ;)

 

Don't let this little virus break your heart. Either way, let it guide you to being the person you want to be. What happens if you get a confirmation either way? Well, when that happens you get to move forward with your life. If it's positive, you'll know. If it's negative, you'll know. And, either way, you will accept the results because you are a strong, confident, brave woman.

 

Now, if you're getting blood work done during an ob, and there's anything visible, make sure to get a swab test on top of the blood test. Either way, what I told you earlier about the 4 month window on a blood test still stands, and at 4 months, you'll have a 100% accurate answer.

 

Good luck! We're all here for you!

[JustSmile]

Hey lady!! IDK about the blood vs OB/non OB results?

 

But I know its hard sitting there hoping for something and having to wait and wait, but try to look at it like this... YOUVE COME SO FAR in this with us. If it comes back postitive you just pick up where you left off. No shocker right?

 

If i comes back negative.... (high fives all around ) you can go on with your life and your man... (and maybe come back and say hi to us from time to time :-)) BUT take everything you learned here and educate ignorance. Even as a H- person.. Youre going back out there stronger, more informed and you have a second chance.

 

Either way there is a silver lining!! Keep me posted when you get your results. Fingers crossed for you!! <3

[WCSDancer2010]

So Imma gonna post this again because today seems like one of those days that we can all use the reminder again and again... and that is the Serenity Prayer:

 

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

 

Right now, you can't change the inconclusive results. And I can imagine how frustrating that is. SO ... the only thing you can change is to go for the Western Blot or PCR test to get a definite result (I wouldn't even bother with the others again at this point). You may need to call around to find who can do it for you. In the mean time, well, live life and just use precautions until you have your definite result. Because worrying isn't going to change it. If you are negative, well, what a grand life lesson in soo many ways! You've been forced to face yourself and your fears in a way you wouldn't have without this experience. You are now educated better than 99% of the population ... and maybe you can pass that education on. AND - if you come back H+, well, gosh. You are still YOU and you have already dealt with a lot of the adjustment to the idea of living with our H friend. AND, life WILL go on. And worrying about it today is just a waste of precious energy if you can't do anything about it today.

 

Accept that you don't have an answer

DO what you can to get that answer when you can

Know that whatever happens, you will be just fine... promise :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[bookworm21]

Dancer, I just suggested the serenity prayer to someone else. Great minds think alike. It helps me in those moments I just can't go on because I'm not in control and the future is terrifying. Also when my family is being extra embarrassing :D

 

 

[Klopz]

Hi EVERYONE!! :)

 

Thank you all for the wise words! You all are so right. I need to just breathe and take it one day at a time. The serenity prayer is perfect for right now, and for now im just going to continue living as if I am H+ until I recieve tests saying otherwise. My boyfriend has accepted this and has been so supportive so if the results dont change nothing changes. I am SO happy that I have all of you to keep me in line when i start feaking out.

 

BIG HUGS TO ALL OF YOU!!!!!

[victoriaxxx]

Big hugs !! Sorry I didn't comment on this. (: We already had a great conversation !

[victoriaxxx]

I am getting the serenity prayer tattooed on my side.. It has actually help me look at everything with a different perspective, including this. Whether you are religious or not.. We all learned to accept the things we can not change. <3

 

@Klopz You know I am behind you 100%

[Klopz]

victoriaxxx, yes ma'am we have had long and awesome conversations about this and everything in between. lol thank you sweetheart it means a lot to have your support! It means a lot to have all of your support!

[victoriaxxx]

<3 (:

[Klopz]

XOXOXOXO

<3

:)

 

You all are the best friends an H+ girl could have!!