First few weeks with genital HSV-1

[Eyeoneye]

Hi there! I'm a woman in her twenties who just contracted genital HSV-1, most likely from oral sex with my current partner (who tested positive after I told him, turns out he had cold sores as a child but none since).

 

First outbreak was no picnic, and REALLY poorly timed... as I had to get through an important presentation for work and an interview for a new job in another state, all while waiting for test results, peeing pure fire (apparently) and feeling terrified that I might have passed it back to my partner (we had sex at the beginning of my first outbreak three weeks ago, before my "ingrown hairs" became painful and I realized I needed to get checked out). I feel okay about having it myself, honestly... I dealt with painful vaginismus when I was younger, so I'm used to my downstairs region being a fortress of complications, haha.

 

I've been talking to my therapist and my partner's been amazingly calm and supportive, but I'm still scared of transmission. I know that since he has type 1 orally, he's a lot less likely to catch it genitally, but it's not impossible (naturally I've fixated on the "not impossible" bit...) and he hasn't shown any symptoms yet. We ended up having sex again two days ago, about a week after all my sores healed up and I was feeling a lot better about the whole thing.

 

However, I woke up the next morning (yesterday) with a swollen lymph node and some leg pain on one side (both still going on today), and now I'm freaking out all over again, frantically checking for bumps and agonizing over every possible itch. I don't know if it's "left over" from the first outbreak or the start of a new one, but I'm not sure I can handle a second possibly painful outbreak and more transmission anxiety after finally feeling back to normal... :/

 

Any advice or sharing of similar experiences would be greatly appreciated! Also just looking for some people to chat with :)

[Sparklepony]

You could be on the verge of another outbreak. Sex can sometimes trigger outbreaks, especially if you recently became a member of the herpes club. It could also be that your body is still trying to figure out what to do to manage this damn virus. You're highly contagious during the first year, physical outbreak or just shedding and prodome. Basically, What I have done is planned for an outbreak once a month and just figure that's how it will be the first year. Sounds negative I know, but it's just part of the process. I've been lucky and haven't had a second outbreak after being diagnosed about a month ago. Knock on wood.

 

I know that you're worried about passing this along to your partner, anyone would be. It seems like he is well aware of the risks, as well as already harboring one strain of the herpes virus. His body already knows the ins and outs of herpes and there is a good chance that it will never be passes onto him genitally. However, if it is, it is not the end of the world. Even though it feels like it would be right now. He is aware of your status, aware of his status, he knows the risks, and he also knows what it's like firsthand. If it happens, then it happens and you guys can deal with it in strides. It's not that you shouldn't care, you just shouldn't be so focused on it that you're causing yourself unneeded stress (stress can trigger outbreaks) and taking away from the fun in your relationship.

[lelani]

Hi Eyeoneye...stop worrying...Sparkelpony is right (great advice!). You can care, just don't let that escalate into anxiety and worry. He already has HSV1 and that's how you got it...you are both in it together so just relax and share the challenges with him - he is as responsible as you to manage this in your lives.

 

I am HSV2 + and my partner is -...I know that feeling of being concerned about transmission. But he made the choice and I respect that...I have been in the same position and that's how I contracted it. It isn't the end of the world (although initially it felt like that) and over time it becomes less of a worry.

 

Would I be upset if my man contracted it from me? Yes of course, you never wish ill health on anyone. However I know won't be my 'fault' and we will deal with it together. And I know that if I am healthy it is at worst a minor annoyance only sometimes and for a week at the longest. Its not a major drama...I have had those and once Herpes settles down in comparison it really is just an annoyance.

 

I have been with and H+ man and it was so easy...we both understood and we didn't have to worry about protection...so there could be a plus for my current partner and I (we have chosen to be life partners)! No more condoms woohoo!

 

Have fun together and don't let H get in the way <3

[QueenBee]

I am in the same boat, major anxiety over transmission to my husband. I was very recently diagnosed as positive, but not sure whether it's 1 or 2. If it's 1, it would solve the mystery of where it suddenly came from though. Is that true that if he has oral HSV1 he is less likely to get it genitally? I have done so much reading that my brain feels like soup and I easily could have not picked up on that.

[willow]

Hi queenbee, saw ur post and thought id chime in here, from what i understand hes unlikely to get it genitally, only because his body already has the virus, but as u said, its not impossible...

heres a link @Adrial made, might help u understand the virus a kil more its about 8 mins .http://herpeslife.com/video-herpes-facts/

Hope this helps a bit!

xox

[WCSDancer2010]

@QueenBee ...

 

Yes - if your hubby already had H1 he has the antibodies which will help his body to fight it off ... so he likely won't get it but there is a small chance he could....

 

You need to talk with HIM and get him educated...if you test positive for H1 then you can assume you got it from him... get him on here or take him with you to your Dr to talk about his risk so you can decide as a couple if you want to use condoms/antivirals or not.

 

(((HUGS)))

[Eyeoneye]

Thanks everyone! And *hugs* to QueenBee, the anxiety is the worst part!

 

So I haven't had any more genital outbreaks, but I got my first oral outbreak last week... thought I dodged that particular bullet, but apparently not. And ONCE AGAIN I managed to expose my partner to an outbreak (I gave him oral sex) before I realized what was going on. :( Are there any studies that suggest suppressive therapy helps reduce oral transmission as well? I'm not on anything currently, but I'm going to the doctor in a few days and strongly considering it.

[WCSDancer2010]

Yes - oral ... acyclovir helps to reduce Oral transmission as well .. and if you have both it would be a really good idea for you to get on it although he already has H1 right? You got it from him? In which case, while it's not impossible for him to get it genitally, the odds are much lower because he already has the antibodies. I'm guessing you got both at the same time from him which is why you have it in both places :/

 

(((HUGS)))