It really IS going to be OKAY!

[lm44]

Hello all! It's been awhile since I've posted but I just wanted to give a check in. For any newbies I have to tell you when I was first diagnosed I was DEVASTATED, literally hit a low I haven't felt in a long time. The truth is time really does heal! It's been almost 5 months since my diagnosis and my life is going great! My career is wonderful and I have someone who loves me for me and accepts me, H and all :) At first I thought about H 24/7 but now it barely crosses my mind, I did have a breif outbreak two weeks ago but it was so incredibly mild and I didn't even take antivirals and it was gone on its own in no time (I have Genital HSV1 btw). Overall, life is better than I thought it would be folks and H is a super small thing for me now. It's tough in the beginning but the light at the end of the tunnel is so much brighter than you can imagine. I hope everyone keeps their chin up no matter how long you've been living with H! Honestly, I'm almost grateful for H because it shed some much needed light on my life at a time where I really did need it most, even though I didn't know it at the time. Retrospect :) I count my blessings every day and as weird as it may sound H is one of them :) Wishin everyone the best!

 

xoxo,

L

[whitedaisies]

Wonderful!

 

So happy for your success in transitioning!

 

Xo

[WCSDancer2010]

Love it when someone accepts the Opportunity that Herpes gives us and comes out the other side happier, wiser, and with more love than they ever realized was possible.

 

(((HUGS)))

[rterrell]

@Im44

 

It's nice that you feel this way now. But be prepared for the feelings to go away. I've read a lot of stories like this: the HSV+ person is "doing great," in a relationship with someone they love. Then either (a) their HSV-negative partner gets herpes from them, or (b) they break up with their HSV-negative partner. A lot of times what happens next is all those negative feelings around herpes come rushing back in, as if the floodgates are open again. Just be prepared for the doubt, the uncertainty, the realization that the right thing to do is to disclose to your partners for the rest of your life, even casual ones.

[WCSDancer2010]

@rterrell

 

Our site here is about finding the GOOD, learning from our experiences, and GROWING from them. Yes, shit happens. Yes, not every relationship works out and any time there is a breakup, doubt may set in. But we have MANY people on here who are in wonderful, loving relationships. We have MANY who have a break-up, go through the (very NORMAL) period of doubt and uncertainty (even without Herpes), and bounce back stronger than ever.

 

As far as I can tell/remember, you have not even been diagnosed with herpes .... your ex told you after you had had sex that she had herpes and you are harboring a lot of anger towards her, and possibly towards anyone with herpes right now. That is understandable but to be honest, you have no experience with this to be making this statement ... only what you have "read" ... likely mostly on the sites that that you read were the ones that are filled with people who are choosing to live in negativity and victimization. Those sites breed upset, fear, and doubt. Most sites are not supportive of growth and self-awareness and self love because all the conversations devolve into pity parties. Noone brings awareness to the good ... it's all about the negative.

 

We at H Opp are about the OPPORTUNITY of herpes ... and again, we know that people *may* go through these lows when life throws them curve balls, but if you tell someone they WILL go through a low, there is a very good chance they will go through a low .... if you support them and encourage them to look for what is good in their life, and help them to learn to control the OB's, then the odds are FAR better that their lows (when they have them) will be far less extreme. We are VERY good at helping most people to get through their lows a lot faster here ... because we don't focus on when they *may* happen - we just deal with them when they come. It's a subtle but important difference in approach that works very well.

 

I hope you will get tested and find out your status soon. And I hope that no matter what the result, that you will learn something from this site .... life is about your attitude. Happiness is a CHOICE. Hope is an attachment to an outcome. Faith is the belief that things will turn out as they are meant to. And Herpes is not the end of the world ... and if you approach it from an attitude that you can learn and grow from the experience, you may find (as MANY have on here) that your life expands into a better place than you could ever have imagined :)

 

These 3 discussions may help you to understand what I am talking about here.

 

(((HUGS)))

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2886/herpes-yoga-and-self-love

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/92/the-positive-side-of-being-herpes-positive

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2646/how-herpes-made-me-a-better-person

[PositivelyBeautiful]

Hi Rterrell, I'm sorry that the person you slept with didn't have the courage to face her fears and be honest with you before you were intimately involved. But I want you to understand that all of us here have been in your shoes at some point in time, caught up in whirlwind of emotions at the possibly of having herpes, some catching from people who knowingly didn't disclose, others from people who had no clue they were even carrying the virus, and others who took the risk regardless. That said, unlike you, whose chances are pretty good of not having herpes, we have accepted the reality of the card we were dealt, and we are far from naive to the fact that life gets hard, and that we will have moments of self-doubt. But we choose to see the positive side of whatever this diagnosis brings because there are far worse things that could happen, and we can't go back in time and alter the choices we made, like you can't. Because we find ourselves with this virus, and often (as you feel right now), either feel cheated by the giver, the medical world, or our irresponsible selves, we want nothing more than to give every person we are with the choice we never had... Now, as dancer said, we can find an opportunity in these situations, and here's one for you to consider... consider that you have the opportunity to be more compassionate with those who have lived through what you are going through but have come out the other end with a positive diagnosis, yes, but also positive attitude too. You came here looking for support/answers, to vent, whatever, and you have been given that by kind, caring, strong people who are dealing with this the best way they can. Please respect that.

[rterrell]

Ok I just got another IGG and IGM antibody test for herpes simplex this past week both types and both were negative for both types, so this is around three or four months now and I'm officially putting this behind me. I would never wish genital herpes on anyone and I would not wish to go through the "ups and downs" associated with this. I'm definitely not looking to add anything more in the "down" category, and I want to give myself the very very best things that are out there. I have not spoken to the woman who disclosed to me after the fact and I am not interested in any further contact with her ever. I'm glad that this website supports a pro-disclosure policy. But I don't want to go through this AGAIN and it made me very conscious of the fact that I want things to be a certain way and that I have the power to make things the way I want them. I don't want to get STDs and I have the power to prevent that. @PositivelyBeautiful, you can look at it any way you choose, but I choose to take the choice into MY hands and not go around thinking that something was taken away when I made the mistake of sleeping with her in the first place. I have a choice how I want to get sexually involved with people, and I have a choice to ask a person about STDs before I sleep with them, and I have a choice to ask them to get tested before we have sex and I have and had all of these choices that are and were MINE but I just didn't think about them and that's why I ended up having this terrifying scare. Now, I know better and it is empowering to me to realize that the choice is in MY HANDS where it always was, and what I do or don't do is going to affect my life, in all areas of my life.

[rterrell]

And that's it I'm done not posting anymore moving on with my life good luck to you guys.

[PositivelyBeautiful]

I'm so glad you have this positive insight and will take some good lessons from your experience. Truth is that we do always have the choice, but we never want to believe the worst will happen to us. Like the person who gets into a car after a few drinks and kills someone, or like the person who smokes for years, saying every year they will quit, until they one day find out they have lung cancer, etc. Until something scary smacks us awake to the reality that we are not invincible, we will make mistakes, and it's what we do after, how we learn from them, how we cope, how we move forward that makes us all better, stronger, wiser, and hopefully more loving, compassionate people. Wish you all the best on your journey, rterrel. Here's a quote for you:

 

"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning." -Louis L'amour.

[willow]

@Im44, thank u for posting an upbeat msg!

 

And as for the previous comment about the good feelings going away... pfft whatever!

This december 23 will be a yr since ive contracted hsv2. And i am more than thankfull for it. (Wasnt at the time of course!!)

So happy to hear u found someone who loves u for u! Thats all anybody really wants in this world, and i honestly think thats its those of us who have gone through hard times, that get the best out of life in the long run!

keep up the positivity and dont ever look back!