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How the H Stole Christmas

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Hi All,


As of December 26th, the day after my birthday, I was diagnosed with the H. While I am still waiting on the cultures to come back, I am more than positive I have HSV-2. I had sex with my ex on the 16th & obviously that was a mistake. At first I felt pain in my perineum, which of course I attributed to the rough sex I had the day before. Then discharge began to quite literally rain on my parade, so I made a appt to the gynecologist. Of course I ended up with some old fart whose heyday was probably some time in the 1940s. He looked down there and said in the oldest rip van winkle voice "vaginitis". Prescribed me diflucan and ointment and sent me on my way. He didn't even ask if I'd been sexually active, was I practicing safe sex, nada. Part of this was probly my fault for not speaking up. That very night, I spot a bump on my outer labia. Now I'm no stranger to BV, but I've never seen bumps before. I decide to let the diflucan do its magic. By Christmas, I couldn't walk upright and it began to hurt to pee. I thought I was dying. Luckily I set up an appointment for the 26th, but I went in a nervous wreck as I had already done some researching of my own. I was in literal tears before the gyno even walked in. She just looked at me as I continued to apologize for being a babbling mess. She asked all the necessary questions and built up a timeline from sex to present pain. She asked why I was crying and I told her because I was afraid of what she was gonna tell me. She looked down there and said what I had feared: "it most certainly looks like herpes". Now she had to have a swabby swab and it was quite literally the worst 60 seconds of my life. I'm pretty sure I lit up the entire medical office. She prescribed me Valtrex and gave me some numbing medication and a pamphlet on the virus. She said "Men are slime. No one can protect you better than you. I want to see you back here in 2 weeks and I want you to have some questions for me." In her own cold way, she was comforting.


I went home that day and broke down to my mother. It was my original plan to tell no one and lay low for a few days, but she asked if I was ok and I lost it. I was babbling so hard my mother was freaking out. Her response after finding out, "oh thank god! I thought it was cancer or a cyst". She has been my rock and I am blessed to have her in my life. She has forced me to see the positives in everything and I am truly thankful for her. She is the only one who knows. I stopped talking to my friends for a while only because I needed this time to heal and not try to explain wtf is going on with me and how irresponsible I've been. My mother has even come up with a brilliant cover up, should I deside I don't want to tell people what's going on.


Now onto my first OB. JESUS H CHRIST. Words cannot begin to explain. To sit, walk, stand, PEE, to live seems mind-numbingly difficult. I am currently still experiencing it but to my surprise I peed today with minimal burn...or maybe I'm just getting used to it? Go figure. Thanks to stalking discussions, I am a blow drying Queen. I'm scared to apply tea tree oil because idk if it will sting, and I'm just not ready to deal with that. I have however been doing 1/2 cup of peroxide, 1/2 cup of water, and 3-4 drops of tea tree oil and I pour that over myself after i pee and blow dry that bad boy down. I also go commando when possible. I thank you for your warm stories that have gotten me through and I hope this painful OB is over soon, so that I can hopefully get back to being as normal as possible.

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I am right there with you! How long have you been at it?the peeing thing has been a real pain.my sores are gone but still red and sensitive skin,tingling.i have been dealing with that 2 months or so going to doc today to see if they can send me to specialist.i just feel is ongoing from H and there is nothing they can do? Will see.they all say it gets better in time.I hope so for all of us!

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The peeing thing is...no words. my OB has been at its worse since the 25th, and I just started Valtrex on the 26th so maybe that's working. I'm definitely my happiest when I'm dry, the discharge was making it SO difficult to even fathom the thought of dry. It's getting better...I think? I have a doc appt on Jan 5 and it's my goal to go in there and have my head screwed on tighter than I did the first time.

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Hello and Welcome!


Glad you have got a few hints and tips, and some solace, from lurking, but I'm really happy that you have jumped in to get more support and information ;)


Guys can have no idea of the pain a woman has when her OB's are in the area of the Urethera ... that area is notoriously hard to keep dry and clean and the skin is the thinnest on the body, and highly innervated. Have you tried pouring the warm water solution over the area as you actually pee? That can help even more. ;) Don't use Tea Tree neat .. you want to cut it with something (oil/water/whatever) by 50% ... more if you have very sensitive skin.


I don't know your situation with your Ex, but odds are he doesn't know he has Herpes (or he may just be finding out himself) ... 80% of people with H don't know they have it ... and most who DO know wouldn't intentionally want to pass it on ... in fact, if you only got a swab, you won't know if YOU have been carrying it for awhile ... if you get a blood test that would help you to determine if you actually got it from him, or if the rough sex triggered the OB. You may want to find some way to let him know he needs to be tested ... because as I said he could well have no idea he has it...call it Paying it Forward to future women ;)


I'm glad you told your mother ... and love her response. You have a good person in your corner. Whether you tell people or not is your business. I'm 100% out - @JessikaRabbit and @ShaeShae just both came out and have had a great response from their friends and family. A lot of the choice about coming out will be around 2 things


1) Your circle of friends. If you only allow good, positive, uplifting people in your circle, then they will likely surround you with the love and support that true friends give to someone when they are dealing with a life challenge. and


2) Your ability to understand that anyone who does respond negatively does so out of ignorance and small mindedness and it has NOTHING to do with you or Herpes... those are the people who usually gossip and talk behind your back, and if they show that side of themselves, you can thank H for helping you to see that so you can eliminate them from your life. ;)


I'll give you some links below so you have an easy place to come to for reference ... you may want to print out the Handouts and take them to your crusty Dr so she has something to hand out to others ... tell her that this support group only focuses on the positive and helpful support which will make her job easier ;)


We are here for you. Come when you need to to get support, vent, rant, and to support others ....




Handouts + disclosure e-book:












Links to some of the items suggested in the links

http://tinyurl.com/pmosahc Link to Alum





Herpes facts video


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Yeah I had no words at first just looking down at myself trying to pee it's got better but not all the way I can't get to a urologist till the 9th and not sure if they can do anything for me? At first only way I could go normal was in salt bath warm water I would just start flowing right away.How does a skin condition mess with your UT?

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Thank you for your words. Don't use tea tree oil unless I'm cutting it by 50%, GOT IT! I definitely don't want to do anything more to upset the ecosystem down there lol. I definitely plan on telling my ex but it will be done in person, yet getting him to meet with me has been like pulling teeth. Didn't stop him from asking me what I'm doing for NYE (I'll be blow drying my hooha, is what I'll be doing.). I have spoken to God and I don't even want to play the blame game. I just want him to know I love him and I want him to get himself checked for his health and that of any other woman he enters a relationship with. In my head I've moved on in order to mentally prep myself for any negativity he plans on dishing out. Sticks and stones ppl....and well maybe burning pee too lol.

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Looks like we got the same Christmas gift, my doctor decided to go out of town and refuses to prescribe me anything yet even though the nurse already called me with the results. The pain is immense... I came home to visit my family, I told my mother as well.. I have been fortunate enough to have time to lay around and try to stay comfortable. I saw a commercial for shingles and claimed it was the "worst pain ever", now since shingles is in the same family I just had to laugh because I don't know if I have ever felt a worse pain than this first OB. I have to have the talk with my boyfriend tomorrow. I have no idea who I got it from, we have been together for 2 years for all I know it could be either of us. I just hope he hears me out. I started taking vitamins, lysine, and have been using baking soda and water mixture (which hurts like hell) but seems to dry out my sores. I hope you have a better NYE and feel better soon!!!

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You shouldn't wait till the 9th ... go to a walk in clinic ... if you have an infection you don't want it to go without treatment that long :(




Didn't stop him from asking me what I'm doing for NYE (I'll be blow drying my hooha, is what I'll be doing.).


Tell him you'll be giving yourself a blow job ... Bahahahahahahhaaaa!




Print out the handouts that I linked to above for your BF and tell him if he needs answers he should go to your Dr with you or get on here and we'll help him learn the facts ... and look at the links for treatments ..baking soda is good but there's tons of other things you can be doing to help things to settle down ...


And if you got HSV1, you could have got it from Oral Sex if your BF gets cold sores ... not an unusual scenario ... 50% of all new genital cases are got this way :(

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looks like we are in this together. I too have never experienced any pain like this. Not even close. I went back to work today and it wasn't too bad. My leg has started feeling weird tho and I can't figure out if it's my new permanent virus or if I'm imagining it...




THAT. is priceless.

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Ah I'm sorry you're going through this during the holidays but your outlook so early on is inspiring :) my first ob was similar to yours, a few things I did was lean forward when I peed so the stream didnt touch my body, put on some baby powder after blow drying, and alternate between applying ice and a cool black tea bag to the area when I had down time. I'm scared of the tea tree oil (sounds like it would sting!) but Epsom salt, Ice/tea, and going commando were life savers! Goodluck healing and focus on the positive, stress is the worst thing you can do to your body. <3

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@WCSDancer2010 is right. I came out recently to overwhelming support. The outpouring of love was uplifting to say the absolute least. Am I all better emotionally? No way! I have only just begun to scratch the surface of this healing journey. And my posts, from my very first to my most recent are testament to the emotional elevator I am riding. Up and down and up and down again! I have learned so many valuable things already though: the love I never knew people had for me, but also the level of cruel to which others can stoop. The level of strength the likes of which I never knew I had, but also the amount of growing up I still need to do in the areas of self forgiveness and love.


Also. . . DESITIN!!! Desitin was my very best friend during my first and so far only outbreak. Can be a little messy though so I only used it at night, which helped me sleep a lot better.

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