Yea, successful disclosure

[dreamingofsomeone167]

I finally disclosed to the man I have been seeing the last 3 months. Initially I told him we needed to go slow but not why. He knew I had lost my husband a few years ago so probably assumed that the reason.

 

He is a very busy single dad so we don't always get to spend a lot of time time together. We got lucky on Friday night and I had him over for dinner. The end of the night was a lot of heavy petting but I didn't want to disclose then. I think I was feeling selfish and wanted enjoy the time, just in case he wasn't cool with my H2 status.

 

We already had a Saturday date planned and that was when I had planned to tell him. At the end of the night I explained that I really liked him but if we were to moved forward with a physical relationship there was something he needed to know. I told him that I carry the virus for genital herpes and he would need to decide if he wanted to be physical with me. He smiled at me and said " so do I, I'm not afraid of it". He said he was going to need to let me know of his status. I said I guess I made "the talk" for you a lot easier , lol. Wow, didn't see that coming. I still rattled off stats, I'm on daily anti virals. He wasn't sure if he's 1 or 2 but with my description he thought it was probably 2 because he's ob's are genital. I still want him to get tested.

 

Regardless of him having it or not, it's still a disclosure that is uncomfortable but as responsible adults we need to have. Again, I thank you everyone on this site for the support, encouragement, love (including the tough love), information, etc. This site has helped me love myself and get to a point where I am comfortable with my H2 and be vulnerable and share. Newbies, we've all been where you are and it's hard to imagine disclosing, but it does get a little easier each time (for me at least). Have a great day everyone ☺

[whitedaisies]

Omg so wonderful.

 

Made me smile.

 

Xo

[StillMeButWiser]

Congratulations! That's awesome.

 

So he has herpes too? Did he plan on disclosing to you or was he not gonna mention it until the std talk was brought up?

[dreamingofsomeone167]

Yes, he has H also but he is unsure if it's 1 or 2, that is why I want him to get tested. We had discussed a lot about being honest and open at all times when getting to know each other. With him having young children we need to tread lightly bringing anyone new into their lives. We are in the 48-51 age group so playing games isn't anything I am interested in and he's in the same boat. I believe he would have disclosed when I said I was ready to move to the next level. He did say "ya that was something I was going to need to bring up". He also said that he had been careful in previous relationships and not passed it on from what he knew (ie no calls after the fact). He acquired from someone who didn't disclose to him, like most of us, so my gut tells me he would always disclosed. From my limited experience disclosing, I tend not to until I feel a true genuine connection and that this person is worth my greatest gift of my body. I don't do causal hookups, just not in my dna, but that's fine for other (ie no judgement here). I have known him casually for 15 years and he has always been the kindest most considerate person. ☺

[whitedaisies]

Enjoy have a wonderful time.

[Danaaaaaasaur]

Yay congratulations!! :) x

[2Legit2Quit]

Needing to hear this, on the verge of a disclosure... Not sure if I even want to bother and should just move on. We bicker quite a bit and we are not in a committed relationship at this point and this may end up just being sex... You know how some men can be... So this makes me nervous

[WCSDancer2010]

We already had a Saturday date planned and that was when I had planned to tell him. At the end of the night I explained that I really liked him but if we were to moved forward with a physical relationship there was something he needed to know. I told him that I carry the virus for genital herpes and he would need to decide if he wanted to be physical with me. He smiled at me and said " so do I, I'm not afraid of it". He said he was going to need to let me know of his status. I said I guess I made "the talk" for you a lot easier , lol. Wow, didn't see that coming.

 

Well we have a one in 5 chance of the people we are dating also having it ... just goes to show you how fickle the early dating process is, eh?

 

 

Needing to hear this, on the verge of a disclosure... Not sure if I even want to bother and should just move on. We bicker quite a bit and we are not in a committed relationship at this point and this may end up just being sex... You know how some men can be... So this makes me nervous

 

If you are already bickering and that is making you re-consider disclosing, perhaps you need to have a talk with your Herpes Wingman ... ie: perhaps you already know the answer ... and unless you are hoping for casual sex it's just not worth putting yourself through it unless you are able to not take any negative answer you get personally... ;)

 

[PositivelyBeautiful]

@2Legit2Quit, just read this now, after posting on your long-distance disclosure... but this is seeming more and more like a man who is not worth your awesomeness... You deserve a great guy, so don't allow yourself to settle for anything less. Your gut might be telling you something is up/not right... trust that, and gracefully move on. Sometimes, moving on from someone because they are showing things you don't like or giving you negative vibes is the best option. I dated a few guys before this current one that recently disclosed too, and all of them, I never got to the stage of actually telling them (although i felt close at times)... because I wanted to see if they were someone that I felt should be privy to such personal information, and if they were someone I truly wanted in my life. I took my time and I put me first, and they showed me sides of them that signaled red flags. I kept my standards high, and allowed my actions to validate my self-worth... in other words, I didn't settle. You shouldn't either, trust what you are feeling.

[WCSDancer2010]

YES! Keep your standards high! Don't settle! Amen sister!

[2Legit2Quit]

Thanks ladies! You all were right and he is no good for me and I have moved on