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This is new, somewhat scary but I am ok

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Just found out a few days ago I got Herpes from my exboyfriend. I am hurt that he hid this from me our entire relationship. Honestly, I cried for about 5 hours straight at work the day I found out but I feel very strong now. I know that I can still do the things I love to do and God puts nothing on me I cannot handle. This is just a new experience for me and I will embrace it. Celibacy was already a focus for me and I consider this my "enforcer" now haha. I just want everyone to know that I have a friend that got this many years ago, in highschool. She was absolutely devastated and faced the emotions we all are going through. She is happily married and has 3 amazing children. This is only a new beginning for us. Try to remain positive and do not panic about it. Cry about it if you must but don't panic. It is really not that big of a deal. It sucks but it isn't life or death. I shed tears here and there but I know everything will be ok. Real love knows no bounds. I am certain real love will find me when the time is right. God bless you guys and stay strong :)

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Thank you for that. :) It is a bit emotional ( maybe due to pms) haha period is right around the corner but I feel a thousand times better than I did when I was unsure of my status. I honestly felt relief once I knew for sure. Now is a time of healing and getting used to this new thing in my life.

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Glad you found us and REALLY glad that you have such a realistic grasp of the situation, as well as your encouraging advice to others and your story about your friend. So many people need to hear that you don't HAVE to buy into the "my life is over" belief.


Just a little point ... unless your ex admitted that he knew he had it, it's very possible he carried it and didn't know it...80% of people don't know they have herpes. Not that it really changes much ... but perhaps he wasn't lying to you all that time or his understanding of H was incorrect because that's a problem too. Between the stigma and crappy info, there's a lot of ignorance out there :(



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@WCSDancer2010 Oh how I wish he didn't know but he did. He told me about it the night I broke up with him. He was like "Oh yea, btw I have herpes. It's the worst kind but I got meds anytime I felt like I was getting sick" He said he has had it for about 15 years and he never gave it to anyone. So I am probably OK. It was the most awful experiences I had. He then retracted his statement when I asked him "Are you serious? Please tell me if you are just messing with me." Even though he took it back I couldn't shake the feeling he was telling the truth.


We broke up in December and last week I finally got the courage to get tested. Positive for HSV1 and HSV2 :( I called him as soon as I got off the phone with my Mom and sis to let him know that he can absolutely give it to someone else because he gave it to me. He owned up to it and apologized. I am grateful for that. I am also grateful he told me and it provoked me to get tested. Otherwise, I wouldn't know.


I can handle this disease but more than anything I am just hurt he didn't tell me. I know how scary it must be to tell someone but I feel that there is more guilt and pain when you have to hold something like this in. I told him "You know I am someone that will HAVE to tell my future partners. I MUST. Please, for me, tell your future partners prior to sex!" I just pray he does.


I am so thankful for this site. It really does lessen the blow. It's comforting to know that we are not alone :)

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True... sorry that he behaved that way ... but I have a question for you. You are asymptomatic? If so it would be useful to know your numbers on the test. Yes, you have been *exposed* to it but for those who never have symptoms, if your results are under 3.5, there's a 40% chance of a false positive. Just want to clarify that .... but good for you for getting tested and being responsible!


And odds are you got HSV1 as a kid, like 60% of the population.. I got it at age 4 from another kid ... but again, it's good to know for sure because then you can be more cautious about oral sex if your partner doesn't already have it :)


And you are right... we are FAR from alone .. unfortunately 80% of the population is clueless that they are "one of us" :(

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Good idea to do the Western Blot if there is any question about your tests... so many Dr's are ignorant about how to test and what the results mean ...never mind that *they* think it doesn't matter which one we have, but it matters to *us* if we are single and need to disclose to a partner :p

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  • 1 year later...

@Anna01 I'm so proud that you are handling things so well. Kudos to you!!! I'm just curious, did your ex use condoms at all and was he just on anti viral for outbreaks? You may need in inform him as to how to be safe from here on out with others. I mean, if he's had it 15 yrs and on anti viral full time and uses condoms, he could cut his chances slim to next to none for spreading to anyone else!

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