I truely think my life is just starting

[casi1001]

I found this site a few weeks ago while I was trying to research info for someone I had just disclosed to. Unfortunately that didn't work out but this site gave me the strength to do what I couldn't do before. Quick recap though, I was diagnosed with HSV2(G) a little over 3 years ago right before I was having surgery for a hysterectomy. I had been talking to someone for a few weeks and wanted to make sure I was clean (for lack of a better word) before I got to involved. Needless to say I was shocked to learn I was positive for HSV2. Like most everyone else I had trouble processing the info and went through all the normal stages but I am typically an upbeat person anyways so I quickly decided this wasn't going to ruin my life. I have dated a bit in the 3 years since my discovery but only been intimate with one person who was informed but that didn't work out for other reasons unfortunately.

 

About a month ago I started talking with someone and we hit it off right away, had a fantastic first date but as soon as he learned of my condition quickly did a back peddle all the while stating that wasn't the reason. Really LOL? I was hurt for a few days but then I made a decision, I was done with pussy footing around with this, I was going to own it. I had a profile on a normal dating site and I "came out" in my profile. Talk about a weight being lifted off my shoulders. I no longer care what people think of my condition because it's not what makes me me. It has been kind of amusing wondering what men think of while reading my profile now and I have even been contacted by two great men, one is really just looking at a friendship while the other is truly interested in me and isn't fazed by me having this at all. He even said that me having the guts to come out the way I did showed what kind of a person I truly was. Whether or not things work out between us it's nice to know there are some people like him who are willing to look at us the way we should be, as normal. If anyone would like to see my profile just copy and past this link to Farmers only. BTW I do have a shameless plug in my profile about this site, I do hope it's OK if not let me know and I'll delete it.

 

http://www.farmersonly.com/user/1745375

 

 

Having H has made me put things into perspective about my life and what I want, I'm also going to use this as a learning tool with my kids. The things that were important to me before seem insignificant now, life is precious we need to remember that and this is just a stumble along the way. Anyone that can't accept us for who we are isn't worth knowing as far as I'm concerned. There was a quote in one of the other discussions that said "No-one may love my naked body until they love my naked soul" (I hope I remembered that right) I loved this quote so much that I put it on my cell phone and look at it throughout the day.

 

I truly do feel in many ways that due to this my life is starting over in a good way. I will know that any man I get involved with wants to be with me for me not just "fun and run". PLEASE all of you that feel like your life is over, think of this as a new beginning, a way to reinvent yourself and your life and maybe even help others while helping yourself. Give yourself the time to go through the steps as we all have in our own way. Be angry, be hurt, be worried and then be STRONG. This can only define you if YOU LET IT.

 

[KatsMomUtah]

Thank you for this!

[Anna01]

Yes yes yes!!!!! I love this and that quote is amazing :) Thank you

[casi1001]

I can't tell you how much my life has changed for the positive in the last few weeks but more so in the last few days since I started talking to the wonderful wonderful man I mentioned. We haven't even met yet face to face as we don't live in the same state but I don't plan to let that stop us. I know life is what we make of it and we can't let something so insignificant as H stop us from doing what we want.I know for many people it's not easy and for others it may be down right terrifying but I promise you that once you make that first step it gets easier as you go. One step at a time and soon you may find yourself running even if you stumble along the way. Life, love and happiness are truly worth the effort.

[casi1001]

I think that quote I mentioned should read

 

"No one may love my naked body until first they love my naked soul"

 

There has never been a quote that moved me as much as this has and I will never forget it.

[WCSDancer2010]

I LOVE it when I see a post like this!

 

I also had my disclosure on my dating profiles and I, like you, had many men contact me who were impressed with my honesty and forthright manner. I recently met a man on E Harmony (where I hadn't managed to get the disclosure up when I started talking to him) ... he's a Dr and Naturopath and when I disclosed he was fine with everything ... I even offered to go on the anti-virals and he said no, he's ok with me not being on them.

 

All it takes is a good read of the Success Stories on here to see how many people meet much better partners post diagnosis because we screen a LOT better before disclosing, or if we are "out" they come to us! And that is one hell of a great bonus for having to deal with a nuisance skin infection :)

[casi1001]

It was actually your post on you disclosing on your profiles that gave me the courage to do that on mine so I must thank you for that :). I have found that since I have come out on my profile I have been getting more men contacting me then before, go figure LOL. I hope that our (yours and mine and anyone else who has come out on a dating site) coming out on our profiles will give others the courage to do so themselves. It was the best thing I have ever done and I haven't been happier since I did.

 

I am still talking daily to the man I mentioned before and we will meet for the first time in a bit over a week, were both very excited. He even comes to this site and reads many of the posts and I have suggested he start a profile of his own to ask any questions he might have here. Because he knows my secret (which isn't a secret anymore :)) we have been able to talk about anything and everything with no worry of judgements.

 

I even came out to my kids who are 14, 17 & 21 and they were like "so what". I will use this as a tool with them with the hope of keeping them from getting this if at all possible but if they do they will know it's not the and of the world and they can talk to me about anything. I also know that my talking to them about this and being completely open about it they will ask me questions about not getting it when they do decide to become sexually active. I couldn't be more proud of my family :).

 

Life is to short, lets not waste it on regrets and what if's.

 

[2Legit2Quit]

Yaaahhhh!/go you girlfriend!

[beingatpeace]

OMG, Thank you so much, I agree...u are right about , the man being with you for the person you are, and it also tells you a lot about them. Our time will not be wasted with IDIOITS, and spent more with real people who are real..