Hurtful words

[onedayatatime22]

I had a friend tell me the other day some very hurtful opinions on what she would do if she found out she had herpes. Without telling her I had it I shared the facts with her about it but she was very naive and ignorant and combative. "No that would be it for me you'll never find anyone then." I have had HSV2 for over 2 years now and I often feel like I am long past the emotional effects of having it besides the fact that I've still never had to disclose. When I hear things like what my friend was saying, it makes me wonder if I ever will find anyone and if anyone really does understand how much of this is a stigma. It was very disheartening and has left me under a bit of a dark cloud all over again.

[desertlove]

I'm sorry about your friend. I know you are worried to disclose, but maybe this is your chance to tell a few of your friends. Start with her. It might make her realize that getting herpes can happen to anyone and that it isn't the end of the world. By you keeping quite it adds to the stigma of it. If she doesn't understand even after you disclose, then you know she was never a good friend. I've told a bunch of my friends and they all have been very supportive.

 

Stay positive!

[Bambina3]

I feel you....I have received nothing but negative feedback from people when I try to discuss hsv2 or they bring it up....it's hard not to feel down when you know you have the disease...I'm still basically in the closet with it...

Sometimes I wonder if it really changes people's sexual activity or they carry on and ignore their status??? I read knowing does not change people's sexual behavior, it's more of an emotional inpact, so why test?

None of it makes sense and is hurtful to those of us that know we have this. I know keeping quiet adds to the stigma, but I have kept quiet....it's the only way I know how to deal with it....for now

[WCSDancer2010]

@onedayatatime22

 

Well, just a few thoughts.

 

1) What kind of "friend" is she? If she's already judgemental, or liable to make choices based on minimal information, then I'm nut surprised at her answer. AND... *this is important* ... YOU AREN'T GOING TO BE DATING HER! So who cares about her opinion? She's just going to deprive herself of 16-20% of the dating population, and that's *IF* she always asks to see the other person's test results (I'll bet she doesn't even bring up the STD talk before she gets freaky...LOL).

 

2) Go read all the Success Stories that you can. You will see that a lot of our readers have not only found love with a H- person, they have found DEEPER love than they ever had, because the person they met is so into THEM, they don't care about the risks (that, and they are usually a lot more informed or willing to become informed than your friend!).

 

I suggest you send this link to your friend..... she may become a Nun after she reads it though....LOL

 

(((HUGS)))

 

http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/

[hippyherpy]

Your friend doesn't know what she's talking. Don't get hurt by words. Stick with facts. There are man many people who willingly get hitched with herpes person.

[onedayatatime22]

Thanks everyone! So nice to be able to come here for your support when I am having a weak moment!