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Found out I may have herpes, but have already had sex with my new girl friend. What just happened?

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I'm going through a divorce and met a girl a few weeks ago. I went down to sign papers and my now ex wife tells me that she had herpes bit never said anything because I never said anything! What the hell is that? I'm angry, I mean I loved her so it wouldn't have made a difference I guess, but now, I've had unprotected sex with this amazing woman and I am terrified to tell her. I haven't made it home from you divorce trip, I have another week.

I've already stopped by the clinic to get tested, but I guess I already know. We were together for two years. I don't are about any of that. I just need advice on how to proceed. I have to tell her, no question, but how?

"Hey I know we've just met and I think we're a bit more than casual, but I have to let you know that just found out I have herpes!?????" No way that ends well. I just need help... and a beer... and a cigarette.

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Get tested first. You may not have it. I found out I had HSV1 and HSV2 about a year after my divorce. I told my ex-husband and he wound up testing negative for both, which meant I'd had it for about 20 years and had no idea. My ex and I were together for 16 years--I'm still amazed he's negative, but it's possible.


If you feel a conversation with the new woman is in order, just be honest and let her know you're in the process of getting tested. You didn't know.

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Ok. Its really helpful. I dont know if i do. I think i would notice something down there. Itching, bumps or something??? I woke up with pink eye two days ago and saw it could also be herpes and died. I know im freaking out. i truly appreciate the lack of judgement on this site. Thank you for taking the time to respond.

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  • 5 months later...

Many times, an HSV-2 infection is asymptomatic or causes very mild symptoms that evade our attention. So, getting tested with the HSV-2 IgG -type-specific test would be a good idea to know where you are standing. If the result is a low positive, confirmation with the golden standard Western Blot test that only University of Washington offers is an option, but it may not be easy to obtain. Best of luck!

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