Flowerteacher55

Hi!! I completely understand. I am in a similar situation right now. He's SUPER into me and we've been really enjoying one another's company. Suddenly he kept making plans and then cancelling and got super distant. I asked what was wrong and he's saying he isn't sure and is in his head and needs time, etc. He's accepting about my H though which is good 😂!! In regards to whether you should cut ties with him... Think about if this person were to still be in your life a few months from now... would you see them building you up or continuing to bring you down? Also, If your friend were in your situation what would you tell them? I hope this helps!! 🥰 Blessings!! 🦋❤️

Hello! I am so sorry that this happened. It's not yor fault. Remember that the way people treat you is a reflection of THEM, not of you. You were honest about your H, and you've had H for 8 years. You have been in intimate relationships with others, and honestly it doesn't matter if you've passed it to another person before, because that is not your fault. If I passed H to a former partner, how does that impact my current partner? Different shedding rates, sexual safety practices, and just the impacts of chance and luck of the draw all can impact the likelihood of a partner contracting it. It's not like you decide to pass it to someone!! Plus, it is possible other contracted it or already had it and were asymptomatic, or possibly a partner contracted it and didn't disclose it to you because you weren't together anymore. Regardless, that's in the past and yes, you were honest and they knew the risks of everything. So, his pressing of that question isn't relevant and honestly kind of insulting. I'm sorry that he is being insensitive. I understand he may be nervous, but that doesn't give him the right to behave this way. You are NOT an asshole. If anything he is being insensitive and not very nice... He is acting as if you are contagious and aren't aware of your own 8 year condition!! You deserve so much better!! I was seeing someone once who said they were fine with my H and then freaked out and called me the next day paranoid about everything. Then they explained how bad they felt about freaking out to me. I was calm and comforting during both discussions, but honestly I was like... Holy cow 🐄!! This guy was about 5 years older than me (I was only 20!) and I was just amazed by how I was the mature and calm one in this situation 😂. So, please know, you are not alone and the random "day-after panic" from partners is so common. It's not your fault! Hang in there and stay kind and true to yourself. Sending blessings and prayers your way!! 🌈☀️🦋🌻 grace

Hi! Yes! That is so awesome-- what is right will be clear! That is definitely something I (and so many others!) need to remember ❤️ Sending blessings your way!

Hello! Thanks for keeping us all updated! It's great that you are taking charge of your health and testing yourself. Let us know what the next test says! Blessings!

Hey!! First, you are amazing and you are worthy of all good happy things. The way people treat you is indicative of who THEY are, it has nothing to do with you. Second, this man's behavior is just not okay! Instead of acting impulsively and confusing, he could have simply paused to figure all this out. He doesn't seem to be as thoughtful about you as you are about him, and you deserve someone who treats you with respect. The audacity he has to act so immaturely! He seems like he doesn't know what he wants, and instead of taking the time to be honest and figure it out, he seems like he wanted to be physical and spend time with you, but it contradicts with his usual relationship style (perhaps more casual). You can do SO much better and you deserve better!! If you want to be friends with him, he should prove that he really is respectful and caring, and his actions and words haven't proven that too strongly so far. It may help to have an open conversation where you explain how he behaved hurt you, and if you do want to be friends than he needs to apologize and be kind and respectful. Stay strong and be kind to yourself! H doesn't define you and the right person won't be bothered by it. 💛 I know disclosing is scary, but you have no reason to be ashamed. Be confident and hold your head high!! 🌻🦋🌈 We are here for you!! Reach out if you need anything ☺️ Sending blessings and prayers your way!! 🌻 grace

Hello, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. I am praying for you. Your outbreak could be due to stress, especially if you husband passed away recently. It could also be due to hormones or illness. Did anything specific happen right before the outbreak? It may be possible you need to try another antiviral, such as Acyclovir or Famcyclovir. Sometimes the body gets used to an antiviral, and changing it up helps. You could talk to your doctor about your new symptoms and issue with Valacyclovir, and ask about receiving a new prescription for another antiviral type. Are the places where you are getting the outbreaks new? Or have you had outbreaks in these locations, just not at the same time? Stay strong! You can do this. We are here for you!! Sending blessings and prayers of happiness and health your way ☀️🌼🦋!!! grace

Hello, I hope you are well! This is a great question, and honestly, I do not have an answer!! However I will do research and report back ASAP!! Blessings of health and happiness to you!! 🌻🦋💛 grace

Hello! I hope the teas and vitamins helped! Are you feeling just pain, or is there also itching or numbness? It could be firings of nerves which happens as a result of HSV (since it lives in your lower spinal nerve bundle) and this was your first outbreak. Monitor for other symptoms and keep us updated! Blessings of health and healing to you!! 🦋🌻💛 grace

Hi @Love2021! I hope you are feeling better since you last posted this. I am so sorry I didn't reply sooner! Hormones (especially around the cycle) are a trigger for many people. You are not alone. What you are experiencing is normal! As @Dangermouse said, Epsom salt baths can really help make the sores heal quickly because they speed up the healing cycle and dry up the sores. I hope this helps!! Sending blessings of healing and happiness your way!! 💛🌻🦋 grace

Thank you so so so much @Bloomer!! I really appreciate your support, I feel much more calm now 🌻. Yes, I have GHSV-1. I hope you are doing well and your OCD calms down, too. It is exhausting but what's odd is it's actually our brain's way of trying to keep us safe. It's like we have to channel that energy into another outlet. Tapping and breathing has worked really well for me!! Thank you again for your kindness. Blessings to you! ☀️🌻🌈

Hey Friends! ❤️ I hope you are well doing well ❤️🙂 I have been super anxious and just need some reassurance so I thought I'd post on here. Maybe some of you can relate to this, too! So, I have started dating someone and I really like them. I disclosed last night and he was so understanding and accepting ❤️I am truly SO blessed! Me being the OCD-worrier that I am hasn't been able to stop thinking about this though. So basically I got my period last night (classic timing) but I didn't expect it. My periods are really light and its honestly just a little bit of light pink discharge. I didn't expect it last night and after he dropped me off and I got out of the car I turned around to close the car door and I saw a small moisture spot left on the seat. When I went inside I checked my shorts and some discharge had lightly soaked through my underwear and my shorts and got onto the car seat. I can't stop thinking about the possibility that the next person who sits on the seat (which is leather) could contract my GHSV. The anxiety is driving me nuts! 🥜 If anyone could offer any support or reassurance I'd greatly appreciate it. I actually have therapy today but I feel so awkward talking to my therapist about this! Thanks friends! Love, prayers, and blessings to you all ❤️ grace

Hi! Oh my goodness. You are a brave soul! Thank you for being a guinea pig and doing a self-experiment. In all honesty, I eat a bunch of semisweet chocolate chips almost every night (and have for years 😂), and its never seemed to cause any outbreaks for me. I have only had about three outbreaks since I was diagnosed four years ago. To our friends: please be careful when testing; if you are worried it may cause a reaction, test it when you will be home or not working/have plans (on the weekend, when you do not have any big plans, etc). If you are allergic to chocolate or ingredients in a chocolate bar, don't do this experiment either (this goes without saying!). Or, if you aren't comfortable with this in general!! Blessings to you, @gadamsgrega!!! 💛 I pray your experiment provides you with answers!! Blessings, grace

Hi!! Great questions!! 1. Yes, HSV-2 can be passed from genital to mouth, although it is not very common. 2. It's not very common. Those who are immunocompromised or are going through chemotherapy or are taking immunosuppressant medication are more at risk. I tried to find the exact percentages and statistics but I couldn't! If anyone could provide any helpful info it would be appreciated! 😊 3. The medication typically cuts your risk of transmission in half. Although medicine works differently for everyone, it is hypothetically assumed the medication could reduce your risk of shedding (which would in turn reduce the risk of the person contracting it since there is less viral shedding occuring). 4. Great question!! ... Ingrown Hairs: typically appear as a pimple or bump with a dark brown line or dot in the center (the hair). They may be painful, especially if they get infected. Usually, they appear alone as a single bump (not in a cluster). HSV Sores: usually occur after experiencing prodrome symptoms. They may itch or burn or tingle. Sores can appear in clusters or alone. They usually heal in stages: red bump, fluid filled bump, bump oozes, bump scabs, scab falls off. Not everyone goes through all these stages, but these are the 'classic' stages. I hope this helps!!! 😊🌻🌼☀️💕 Blessings!!!

Hello! I hope you are well. Hooray, you made it through the first outbreak! 🥳 Great question. Technically, all those things could trigger an outbreak, but the most painful ones (waxing or shaving) would most likely be the ones to potentially trigger an outbreak. I have never tried hair removal cream because I have sensitive skin and I worry the chemicals in it would irritate my skin. If you do want to try a hair removal cream product, make sure to read the ingredients and you are comfortable with them and you aren't allergic to anything, ensure the company is legit/trusted, and test it on a small area of skin first (even your thigh or arm) to make sure you won't break out. I hope this helps!! Blessings ☀️🌼🌻 !!! grace

Hello Friend, I hope you are well. I completely understand your OCD, and I am so sorry that you struggle with that. I have had OCD for years (I am now 23) and it is just exhausting. The thoughts and compulsions and washing can be so so draining and get in the way of being happy. However, please know that the obsession and compulsions are your brain's way of trying to self-soothe. Tell yourself that you appreciate the part of yourself that is trying to take care of yourself, but you have healthier and better way to do so. ❤️ It will get better, I promise. In regards to you having gotten H from your dad from a single kiss on the cheek, it's not as likely as if he had kissed you on the lips, since the lips have mucous membranes while cheek skin does not. The sore was in the later healing stage of scabbing as well, so he most likely was not shedding the virus too too heavily (if at all, since everyone sheds differently and different rates at different times!). Take it easy and just breathe. If you did contract it, you may have a sore pop up within the next few days or week. Worst case scenario, you have a common common human condition and you are still a healthy, clean, pure, beautiful human being. Nothing can change that (no matter what your OCD says!) I hope this helps. Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to about OCD. I am here for you and so is this community! 🙂 Sending blessings and prayers your way! grace

Hi! 🙂 Great questions, and it is so awesome that you came here for support and information instead of going down the dreaded google rabbit hole! To answer your questions ... 1. Although I am unsure specifically about the transmission rates from genital to oral from female to male, the general transmission rates from an H+ female to an H- male is 4% (no protection from suppressive/daily antivirals or condoms) 2% (with the use of condoms OR the suppressive/daily antivirals) and 1% (with the use of BOTH condoms and suppressive/daily antivirals). Since they are talking about condoms here, I would assume these statistics are about genital to genital transmission and not genital to oral transmission, however I am unsure! @mr_hopp do you know if these statistics are for genital to genital or the stats include both/all transmission routes? 2. I believe that it would be 2% chance of transmission, as explained above and on the fact sheet sent to your email when you signed up for this site! 🙂 I hope this helps! Blessings! ❤️ grace

Hi!! Great question you brought up; why do sores sometimes pop up in places that didn't have direct contact with another person's genitals? Because genital herpes lives in the nerve bundle at the base of the spine, sores can pop up anywhere in the general region that braches off from that bundle. So, those with genital herpes may get sores on their upper thighs, lower back, buttocks, genitals, or anus. I hope this clears it up! Blessings of health to you! grace

Hi! You can do this! I hope the chat with your friend went well. Keep us updated! We are cheering you on! ❤️ Blessings!

Hello, I am so sorry that you've been experiencing these symptoms. It sounds very frustrating. Please know that you are not alone, and your symptoms sound like other symptoms I have heard on this forum! The testicular pain you are referring to and the pain with ejaculation reminds me of others who have explained it, and it may be epididymitis. However, it could also be from neurological pain associated with the HSV. Since HSV impacts the nerves, it can cause those shooting pains you are describing. However, the fact that this has been going on for five years is terrible. Perhaps a referral to a neurologist could help! 🙂 Also, did you try the other two antivirals (Valtrex and Famcyclovir) to see if they would help you? Also, did you get a blood test or a sore swabbed to try and verify that you indeed have HSV, and if so, which strain? I have never heard of others using Foscarnet, however it is typically used for those with CMV strains that are resistant. Did your doctor reccomend it? I hope you feel better soon and your current doctor can help you. Stay strong and be kind to yourself! Sending prayers of happiness and health your way! 🙂 Blessings, grace

Hello, Beautiful Friend, Please know you are not alone. We are here for you. None of this is your fault. You are a warrior and you are so strong! ❤️ First, I am so sorry how the men in your life have treated you. Getting ghosted is not okay. Being harassed by an ex is completely not okay and frankly, illegal. The way people treat you or have treated you is a reflection of THEM, not of you. You did not and do not deserve any of this. If you feel afraid, you can report his behaviors to someone you feel close to (such as your best friend), and if he doesn't stop after you tell him to and doesn't leave you alone after you tell him to, you can get a temporary PFA (protection from abuse order) which then can turn into a restraining order. His behaviors are indicative of someone who does not respond to boundaries and has no respect for you, and that is unacceptable. Also, it would be wise to save the messages sent between you two so they can be proof/evidence to justify for the PFA/restraining order. After telling him not to contact you, it may be wise to block him on social media and text/phone. If he doesn't leave you alone after you strictly tell him to and block him, then I think you definitely have the right to file for a PFA. Note: I am not a lawyer! However, you can speak to a domestic violence shelter about your options in this situation. If you are afraid to block him, think about this... if he did share your status with the world, people would most likely think he was just a completely angry ex-boyfriend who was trying to get back at you for ending things with him. He is acting completely irrational and abusive, and that is just not okay! Please know that you can and will find love again. You are a beautiful human and having H doesn't change that, I promise. We are here for you! If you need to talk or need a friend, feel free to reach out anytime. I am praying for you! Stay kind to yourself! ❤️ Blessings, grace

Hello, Yes, I know, the link and information is outdated. I reached out to my friend who is in the Marines and he said he doesn't think it would disqualify you, however they do STI checks every 6 months. The thing is, H does not appear on an STI panel (since you can't test for H from your urine). I found a document that outlines the medical disqualifications for the Army, however it is from the US Army Corp of Engineers website, so I'm not sure if all rules apply to you. However, the document explains it applies to "all uniformed service members" so that may be you! Here it is: https://www.tad.usace.army.mil/Portals/53/docs/UDC/medical-disqualifiers.pdf I hope this helps! Blessings!

Hello, Thank you so much for wanting to sacrifice for the freedom and democracy of our nation! You are brave and you are appreciated. Congratulations on your soon-to-be new career! This is a great questions. Actually, others on this forum have asked about it too! Read their experiences and thoughts here: https://forums.herpesopportunity.com/topic/4728-herpes-and-the-military/ I hope this helps!! Another thing you can look at is the legit legal code of the military; they do have documents that explain medical disclosure, disqualifications, and such. I wouldn't tell anyone anything until you get more information. Your personal business is your business! Blessings to you! 🌟🇺🇲 grace

@Jessica88 Hello! I hope you are well. Thank you for sharing your story. I can personally relate, as when I had my first outbreak I thought it was due to biking at the gym! It's really amazing that you played it safe and remained abstinent and that you are researching about everything. Knowledge is power! 🙂 It is amazing that you have a supportive group of friends. I hope they are all doing well, too! ❤️ Feel free to reach out anytime!! We are here for you ❤️ Sending blessings and prayers your way 🌻☀️💛 !!! grace

Hello! Did the sexual health clinic offer any explanation? The forcing on urine could have put strain on the anal area. Also, because the nerve bundle at the base of the spine impacted my HSV is irritated and inflamed during outbreaks (especially the primary outbreak) sometimes it can cause bowel issues since all the nerves are connected down there. It's great you tested for a UTI. And yes, lol, being underwear-free is oddly freeing! 😂 Sending blessings and prayers your way! 🌻💛 grace

2. I do take valtrex daily to hopefully help. I don’t think it has helped yet though bc I still have all the prodome symptoms. So as long as the sores are gone and it has been a week we are good to try to be intimate or does all the ichy/burning/etc signs need to be gone to? Typically just to be safe, all symptoms should be gone for a full week prior to engaging in intimacy. The frustrating thing is that tingling can be from the viral shedding or from the lingering neurological pain, which is why it is safer to just abstain if you still feel tingles. Also, reengaging in intimacy too quickly could cause another outbreak to occur since friction can trigger outbreaks. 3. I have only got these burning,itchy etc on my upper thighs and vagina since I got herpes. It’s hasn’t left. That’s why I am so confused if these are normal or not. Or signs of outbreaks gonna happen. I do take 500ng of valtrex Daily. Okay, thanks for clarifying! It could just be the lingering tingles. Your body went through an extreme event, and your body has been through a lot neurologically, so the tingles can linger for about a month. However, you've been experiencing this since April 15, which is over a month (almost 2!). Have you seen a neurologist? The 500 mg should be helping, but since it isn't, getting a referral to see a neurologist may be helpful! 🙂 4. I am suffering from aniexty that it is gonna get worse with age bc my first outbreak was that aweful. I honestly don’t think I could live it was like alll the time. I know realistically it’s gonna happen again at some point and I honestly feels like ptsd over it. I do not want it to get worse (and I hope ir doesn’t) and that’s where I am getting more aniexty bc I don’t want my husband to go through this bc it hasn’t been fun at all. It’s hard when you love someone so much you don’t want to pass this pain on to him. Specially when we have 2 Young kids (10 and 12) that need us and are very busy and active. Like this has knocked me on my ass and i am actually quite healthy and in shape. But is so hard. Aw, I understand. Honestly, just breathe ❤️. Even though you have H, it doesn't mean it is going to be worse as you age. Something that has helped me with anxiety so much is tapping. Here is an amazing video for tapping through pain https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiNg9q9gzW0. The love and compassion you have for your husband really shows, since you don't want to experience this pain. If it helps, check out the facts sheets that were sent to your email when you signed up for this site. Logical and statistics really help battle fear and anxiety. Looking at the low risks and transmission rates can help reduce anxiety. Take the time you need to heal. Mothers go-go-go but never take the time to fully heal, and that can cause issues to linger and extend healing time. So, take it easy, use hot packs or ice backs on the lower back (where the nerve bundle is at the base of the spine) and reduce stress. 5. Yes if I ever let my husband touch me, we will def use condoms. I was actually wondering if boxers would help stop the spread if he wore those and a condom so not much skin to skin contact. As this point I will do anything to try to not let him get it even if I means I will just give him oral. He is so good. He said he would rather spent the rest of his life with me even if we can’t have sex then me being not Alive. I just scared I am gonna be sick all the time and can’t live life to fullest (i am trying) That is such a good question! Yes, clothing would technically act as a barrier! Of course, condoms and clothing can't protect against 100% of possible transmission, but it definitely could help ❤️. Your husband sounds so sweet and caring! I hope I have a husband like that some day ❤️. You are a warrior! You will get through this. Stay positive and be kind to yourself! ❤️ Sending prayers and blessings your way! ❤️