HerryTheHerp

England has a low rate, something like 5-10%, but some excellent resources and groups. I know, I've looked. I thought about moving there for a bit, but the fact that you guys still speak the Queen's stopped me. For God's sake, crisps are chips, it's a TV not a tele, and you can drop the "u" from words like color and favor. Man, even the Canadians are catching on to how to properly speak English. :) Find a Polish girl. From reports, Polish girls when they get to England go wild, and the HSV rates are skyrocketing within the community there. Should make it easier to find an understanding girlfriend.

It does, but it takes time. The more I research, the better I feel. It doesn't make it easier because I still feel a part of my old self is gone forever. Do the symptoms get better? Yes, for the vast, vast majority of people, they quiet down and it's nothing more than a minor annoyance every now and then. Emotionally? Well, I have good days, bad days. We all do, but again, the more I learn, the better I feel and the bad days get a lot less severe. That said, I did have a doozy of a Valentine's weekend. But, we all do the same thing; we get up, get dressed, move forward. Fortunately, you're in the US and there are plenty of groups/resources available.

As long as you're 90 days or more past your last exposure, I'd be taken those results to Red Lobster and celebrating. A lot of us definitely understand that huge sigh of relief the comes from getting that out of the way. Life's all about lessons. Unfortunately, herpes is one of those that is slippery, even when you know the facts, stats, and truth. Fortunately, we can use our experience and knowledge to help others. And, of course it just depends on our perspective. I know in a lot of countries, it's just not a big deal at all. Heck, 68% of women in Greenland have HSV2 (no need to wonder how they're keeping warm in winter, huh?) Now, if you feel like heading back to Europe anytime soon, Sweden, Norway, Bulgaria, and even prim and proper Switzerland have female HSV2 rates approaching 30% or greater. Surprisingly, Italy and France have rates lower than 5%.

From the medical perspective, your doc is right. It's not a big deal. It's no worse than a cold sore...oh wait, it is just cold sores. Psychologically, it's a little bit bigger. And, trust me, I hear you on the picking other things up. It's a huge relief when that test comes back negative, isn't it? You'll laugh, you'll smile, you'll remember your time in the Med fondly.

Hi Elliot, A few of us picked it up while traveling. It happens. I'd ask if you had a good time in Greece, but, uh, well, it's pretty clear you did. ;) Yeah, the virus can lay dormant that long before showing symptoms. There's no real rhyme or reason, and some people show symptoms right away, others not until year's later, some never at all. It's a sneaky li'l virus that way. As far as being happy and coming to terms, well, again, everyone does it in their own time. I'm 4 months in and have good days, bad days, and it's a process for us all. But, you're in a good forum with good people, and the sun has risen yet again.

Well, it's Sunday night and the tears have finally stopped flowing. Kind of. There's still a big open wound, but I'm going to write about it because even if you think YOU had a bad Valentine's Day, let me tell you it can get a lot worse. In fact, whatever I've done to piss the li'l sh!# off, he's getting me back in spades and he's not even bothering to lube the arrows up anymore. If there is such a thing as past lives and karma, I did something serious in each of the last 20. And, no "Ahh, Herry you poor guy's." That's not the purpose of this. The purpose is to let you all know that Cupid has pegged me as Public Enemies #1-10, so y'all still have a chance at love 'cause apparently I'm bearing the brunt of his chubby li'l temper tantrums these days. Just read this as if you were watching Ben Stiller in "Something about Mary" 'cause it's about that tragic. So, where to begin. Well, I'd met a woman at a friend's party about a month ago. A really nice, insanely beautiful woman with similar career backgrounds and interests. We hit it off and the conversations and laughter flowed. It felt good. We had emailed back and forth and she suggested we meet up for Valentine's dinner. I was a little nervous, but why not, right? I can't tell you all how excited I got. Hopeless romantic 36-year old and I've never had a date on Valentine's. In fact, I'd been stood up quite a few times. But, this time I was giddy. Literally smiling from ear to ear. Well, we had a really good dinner. We talked about a lot of things. We had a little wine. There was a lot of laughter and quite a bit of flirting. Then, she very suggestively suggested we head back to her place, and guys, let me tell you, she was a solid 10. So, being the fine upstanding gentleman I am, I told her the score. My first in person disclosure. Confident, comfortable, relaxed with all the relevant details. That's when the bottom fell out faster than Britney Spears' getting out of a low slung car. I've gotten the nice guy, good man, tender heart before; but this time I knew why. She didn't even stay for dessert. Strike 1. So, I went for a walk through the mall right next to the restaurant. Not the brightest idea with couples milling about holding hands, snuggling, and kissing. Stopped by the drug store to get some aspirin for a growing headache. Not a good idea. Valentine's, couples, drug store, you put it together what they were buying. It was like salt in an ever opening wound. Seriously, everyone in front, and everyone behind me in line. Now, I'm not going to lie and claim that in the recess of my mind I didn't say "I hope you all still get herpes the same way I did." Apparently, Cupid considered that thought a taunt and decided to keep the hits coming. So, I decide, let's just go home, put a movie on, get some sleep. Open my Facebook first. Again, in the world of bright ideas, I'm not thinking clearly so I'm going to give myself a mulligan here. Read the posts of all my happily coupled friends, pictures of flowers, stories of romantic dates, yada yada. Then, out of nowhere that little red flag pops up "You've got a message." Could it be a friend wishing me a Happy Valentine's? Let's look, because maybe the ship is gonna right itself before it sinks...but let me tell you, that red flag is red for a reason... It's my HS sweetheart. Yes, the same woman I almost married. The same woman who cheated on me leading to a very nasty breakup (our 3rd out of 4 over a period of 4 years), a 1/2 hearted attempt at reconciliation, and 17 years of not speaking to each other. What does she want? Well, aside from the fact that I'm advising her and some other teachers on a FB page she just happens to be on (world's too small...), she wants to say hi, tell me about her wonderful husband, their two beautiful daughters, and her happy life. Hopes I'm doing well, found love, yada yada. Keep in mind I have had a solid 17 years of dating experiences that would make Chernobyl seem like a minor mishap and it took me years to get over the hurt she caused. Trust me, lots of therapy sessions undone in a single evening as I honestly could have died happy without ever talking to her again. Yippee Frickin' Skippee. At this point, I honestly prayed a Russian satellite would just crash through my ceiling and end the misery, but alas, I'm clearly not that lucky. I would have settled for an asteroid, but nope. Nada. Strike 2. So, at this point, about 10pm, bottle of vodka in hand, I'm not thinking clearly at all. I call the woman who'd given this li'l virus to me to say hi. Of course she doesn't answer. She does however email me almost immediately telling me not to call her, and that she's having a wonderful evening with her boyfriend and that she'll write me next week... I've heard that before from her and have been trying to be friends. I honestly just wanted someone to talk to and I came within a keystroke of emailing her boyfriend a letter I wrote him. One push of "enter" to revenge (and trust me, it's an epic "outing" letter), but revenge is a very dark road and I just barely stopped myself at the last second. He'll find out she's cheated on him soon enough. Strike 3. You're out right? No, at this point Cupid decides to pitch a few more blows my way just to let me know he really hates me. Thin walls, loud neighbors, and Viagra, anyone? Why not? Keep 'em coming you li'l prick. Seriously, not even headphones drowned it out. Stumble to the liquor store, more vodka and I'm out of OJ. Thank God for 24 hour liquor stores. Dust off and head back to the dugout? Sure, why not. Email the woman I had dinner with. A polite I had a good time, completely understood her concerns, and thanks for the evening, write if you'd ever like to go do something as friends. Read it a dozen times because I'm tipsy and want to make sure grammar, spelling, language are all appropriate and gentlemanly. She messages me back within minutes...don't write me again, you're disgusting, why would you think I'd ever... Could I feel any lower? Oh, Cupid had one more fastball to throw right at my heart. My roommate came home and didn't even say a word about the chocolates I'd bought her for Valentine's and left on the table for her. She'd been having terrible dating, school, and career luck lately, so I bought her some with a card that simply said "Thanks for being a good roommate, glad we're friends." A simple thank-you would have meant so much to me in that moment, but alas, why should I expect any semblance of humanity at this point? So, the moral of the story is y'all are pretty safe right now. Cupid's had his Wheaties and decided who he wants to punch around for a while. I wish I could make this stuff up, but trust me folks, when it comes to love and romance, whatever you did in your past lives and the karma you're carrying around, ya ain't got nothing on me so y'all gonna be just fine. Apparently, Cupid's holding me responsible for everything from the plague to Spandex.

Hi Jack, Well, yeah, it does sound like herpes. But, herpes can look like a lot of different things. So, I'd say you need to go get a blood test. It's been long enough that your window period is long expired and your results will be 100% accurate. That said, I'm willing to bet that your girlfriend probably gave you head at some point along the way. That means that if she had oral HSV1, she could have transferred that down below the belt if you didn't also have HSV1. Could she have gotten HSV1 from her mom as a kid? Yep, that's pretty common from those goodnight kisses or sharing of drinks. I'd say yours is a pretty straight forward, go see a urologist or stop by your Planned Parenthood Clinic situation. As far as hesitating or being worried, cross each bridge as you come to them. Take it a day at a time.

You should talk to your doctor. I think most prescribe between 800-1000mg of Acyclovir.

Well, a blood test (or swab on fresh blisters) can tell if it's 1 or 2 you're dealing with. It's important to know that, especially since 1 is much more common than 2. Hate to say it, but if it's 1 the social stigma is far less than it is with 2 even though they're virtually identical. Yeah, I used condoms, too. It's like using a tennis net to stop bb's when it comes to this li'l virus. They're great against some things, not so much when it comes to herpes. It does sound like you had a textbook first OB. If that happened while you were with your boyfriend and completely monogamous with him, then it's likely he's the one who gave it to you. People can have it for years and never show symptoms. As far as primary's go, ones like yours usually only occur upon exposure and not after a dormant infection decides to surface. He probably doesn't want to deal with it. Keep in mind, if he didn't know he had it, he's probably shocked as well. I'm dealing with the same thing with the gal who gave it to me. Everyone reacts differently and I'd just let things ride right now without trying to force it one way or the other. Talk about it when he's ready and be gentle in your discussions with each other. It's a bump in your relationship; if the relationship was strong before, it's got a great chance of bouncing back.

I wish I would have seen the full moon you saw. I saw a full moon alright but the naked guy wandering around with the blinds open in the apartment right across from my window didn't exactly inspire good dreams. Your words are always beautiful and it is always a pleasure to allow them to seep into our hearts to nourish our souls. In case you didn't hear it yesterday, Happy Valentine's Day, and I hope your dreams come true in the year ahead.

Sores on the vajajay are never fun. Did the doctor take blood or a swab? That would seem appropriate and I hope they did so you can find out for sure one way or the other. "How to find your soulmate?" Really? Did you go to an OBGYN or a Psychologist? Man, I'm terrified of finding out the publishing houses have now gotten into the medical industry. Next time I visit my urologist he might give me a book entitled "Playing with your Penis...it'll make you go blind." Hang on, I need to switch my screen to large font so I can see what I'm writing... Ok, 78 point Times New Roman. That's better. Your boyfriend freaked? Well, that's pretty common. Almost everyone hits that freak out button at the mention of the word. Do you know where/when you acquired it (keep in mind, it doesn't sound like you know for sure that it's herpes?) Is it possible you acquired it from your current boyfriend? Sex is a scary thing. It comes with all sorts of sexually transmitted diseases and sexually transmitted emotions attached to it. It even comes with the risk of creating a non-stop eating, pooping, crying, and Crayola consuming machine known as a child. You're not lost. You've found this forum and it's a wealth of support and information. It's a shelter in the storm, so take a breath and know you're among friends who don't think you're dirty or disgusting. We all understand the emotions you're going through. You're par for the course, and we'll be here to help pick you up and carry you when you stumble. For now, if you haven't had the swab test, or are safely out of the window period (4-6 months) for blood testing, you should relax. Get those done at the appropriate times and until then, just remember to breathe.

Hi Bebe, Right back at you. Your bumps could very well be ingrown hairs, so don't get too down on your OBGYN. But, that's also the problem with herpes...it can look like a lot of different things...but then again, a lot of things can also look like herpes. Is it possible to have HSV-2 in both places? Sure. If you had oral and penetrative sex or fluid transfer before you had antibodies built up, yeah, it could happen. Is it common? No. In fact, only about 2% of people with HSV-2 have it orally. The stress is definitely getting to you. Try and relax. Not everything is herpes. Sometimes a pimple is just a pimple, and sometimes an ingrown hair is just an ingrown hair.

You don't pay for health care in Canada? Ever seen your tax bill...

I guess that's true. I'd never really thought about it that way, but I can see what you're saying now about writing it out and letting them let the information sink in. I think it depends on the situation and the person most of all. Definitely agree with you on giving them the resources you want them to go to. That's one thing I strongly advocate as it gives you some control on what they see and learn, and keeps them out of the traps Google has all over the place that are so ultra negative and many of them false/misleading. But, I definitely think whichever way you go, the conversation, letter, or email should always start with "Let's talk about sex" because you are guaranteed to get his undivided attention throughout ;)

Life. One minute it's nothing but fun and the next it's giving you blisters. One minute you can be riding high on the wings of love and the next crushed upon the rocks of despair. There's no rhyme or reason to it, and the only way to avoid the ups and downs is to lock yourself in your bedroom and never leave the house to bask in the sunshine just outside your door. And, that's just no way to live life. Here's to all of us warriors of love on the eve of Valentine's Day. Whether newly diagnosed or long-time veterans, we've all taken the risk of loving and being loved. We've lived and we've loved, and in the process discovered something about ourselves. It's not an easy journey, nor is it one for the faint of heart. In fact, everyone on this forum has earned a Purple H for what the herpster has done to us and that makes us better partners, better friends, and better spouses. I know many of us feel alone right now. The holidays are hard for the single, and this one especially so. But know this; wherever you are, whatever your situation, whether alone or in the arms of someone you love, everyone in this forum is standing by you. From Toledo to Topeka, and Washington to Warsaw, there are hundreds of millions of us who are extending our hands in friendship and love.

Yes, if your body hasn't built up the antibodies yet, you can get orally/genitally. It can take up to 6 months to build up enough antibodies. As far as symptoms/OB's, there's no way to know whether you'll ever have lesions or not. The vast majority of people don't. In fact, I've had itching/weird pains, no lesions for weeks at a time. It's all part of your body adjust to the virus.

At 70+ most doctors consider "safe sex" being able to do the funky chicken without breaking a hip "safe sex." The prevalence of viagra has now prolonged sexual activity well into the 90's. In fact, next to college, the fastest growing rates of STD's are in nursing homes. As far as the dud that dumped you, you should let him know that 80%+ of people your age have HSV1. It's the reality. I would have cursed him plenty. In fact, send him a very racy message including all the things that you would have done to him had he not rejected you and give him a heart attack. Then tell him that if he wants to see a pussy, all he needs to do is look in the mirror because if a guy his age can't deal with a cold sore, well, he's the biggest pussy I've ever heard of. As far as your doctor's advice, I would not recommend wearing a condom for 3 months. That's a bit restricting, makes urinating difficult, and quite frankly, not very comfortable. Now, if what he meant was to use condoms for 3 months, get tested together, then stop using them if you're negative for HIV and other STD's, well, that's a personal decision and I could see that. Again, get some FC2 female condoms as they'll be far more comfortable for your partner. Most doctors assume people your age are "educated" about STD's, etc. But, the reality is, you're not. In fact, most of what you knew about STD's has been long forgotten in long-term relationships. It never hurts to brush up and share what you learn with your peers.

Sore throat can be a symptom if you have it orally. It can also be a symptom of a cold, a flu, or an allergy. Google is evil. GET OFF GOOGLE!!! Looking for medical information on Google is one step short of asking the witch doctor whether you have cancer or indigestion. If you have questions, come here first. Prodomes can come before an outbreak, or they can come without an outbreak following them. My prodomes lasted about a week before I got my first blister, others it takes a day, 2 days, 4 days, etc. Again, it varies for every single person. I've had plenty of prodomes without any OB occurring. Stressing about it will make it worse, so try and relax, take a hot bath, take a couple of Lysine pills, slather some aloe/zinc cream on the areas that are itching/burning, and take a long, deep breath. The likelihood is you're just shedding and won't have an OB.

Well, weight loss isn't a symptom of herpes. It's a symptom of stress and other conditions, but not the herpster. You can't worry about your ex. She's out of your life and now it's time to focus on YOU. You are your priority. Your test should say whether it's HSV1 or HSV2. You should call your doctor and ask them to clarify those test results. Could you have an infection from someone in your past? Sure. Herpes can lay dormant for years and years before you ever find out about it. That's not uncommon. In fact, 80% of people never have symptoms. Many people go in for routine bloodwork and "surprise, did you know you have herpes?" I think you are stressing more over your ex than you are about the herpsie derpsies. I know it's hard to see her and move on, but you absolutely must. Accept that it's over and focus on what you need, and the first thing you need to do is find out whether you have HSV1 or HSV2. Your testing sounds like you might have had a false positive; Most doctors consider anything under 3 negative, and your follow up tests indicate that might be the case. You might want to go in for another round of tests for both 1 and 2 to be absolutely sure at this point.

You just pulled a hit and run disclosure. "Hi, love ya, got herpes, c'ya later, call me when you want to talk about it more." Yikes. That's gonna scare the bejebus out of any guy. About the only things that will scare a guy more than that are the words "I'm late," "It's time for you to meet my mother," or "Quick, my husband just got out of prison and he's on his way home." I agree with everything WCS said. Sex and sexuality are undivided attention subjects. In fact, if you want to get a guy's undivided attention all you have to do is start off by saying "Let's talk about sex." You say those magic words and he'll turn the TV off, put the phone on vibrate, and allow the house to burn down while you talk to him. So, what do you do now? Well, if it were me I'd ask for a mulligan on this one and take another swing at it. Give him a call. Don't text. Call. Explain to him that the type you have is HSV1, it's the same that causes cold sores, it's the same one that the vast majority of people pick up in childhood or college. Tell him how you picked it up. He'll understand. In fact, he'll probably be surprised that it can happen that way. Sex is an open discussion, and nothing should be off the table for discussion with you and a partner. There are certain things you don't discuss, such as the size of a former partner's, well, you get the idea, and those romantic trips you took to Vegas with your pool boy, but number of partners, STD's, things you're willing to do/not willing to do are all things you should be ready and able to talk about with someone you're going to be intimate with. You're a girl with lots of heart. Your posts show you've got a huge heart and lots of love that you're just dying to give to a lucky guy. But, you have to slow down and let your brain get her two cents into the discussion with your heart. That's hard for us fellow hopeless romantics to do, but herpes has a way of forcing us to do that. So, plan out your phone call and practice a few times with a trusted friend that already knows: 1. Hi, wanted to talk with you and see if I could try that again? See if he wants to talk on the phone or in person...then.... 2. Tell him how you got it. Avoid the nitty gritty, but let him know how it happened. 3. Give him the HSV1 stats and facts. Talk about everything from transmission to what you can (and will do) to keep him from acquiring it. Include Dancers risk assessments for life; they're great comparisons. 4. Ask him if he has any questions??? He's going to, so bone up on your knowledge so you're Johnny on the Spot with your answers. 5. Most important tip of all...be confident. Men love confident women, and the more confident you are, the more comfortable he will be.

Hi Bebe, Regardless of how your boyfriend acquired it, the reality is that he's passed it on to you. You can't focus on that too much because it'll drive you crazy. What you have to decide is whether or not you want to salvage the relationship and move forward together or separately, and only you can know the answer to that difficult question. You're also not alone in being fairly new to sex and getting this li'l bug. In fact, the majority of people in this forum had just one or two notches on their lipstick case when they got the news. It's tough to hear especially when you're just discovering your sexuality and the pleasures of being alive. But, the good news is your sex life isn't over, it's just developed a new aspect that you'll learn to manage and work through in time. This forum and the members here are amazing at helping you through that journey. There will be ups and downs, days when the sun is shining and days when the clouds will roll in, and everyone here understands that all too well. Everyone experiences symptoms differently. Some get lesions, some get rashes, some never get anything at all. That's one of the annoying things about this virus is that there isn't a standard presentation. In time, the symptoms will decrease in severity and intensity, and it sounds like your's are already pretty mild. Also, your boyfriend might be part of the 80% who's never had symptoms. That's another annoying thing; only about 20% ever show physical symptoms, so it's possible your boyfriend has had the infection for a long while and never known about it. What are you supposed to do? Well, get up, look in the mirror, and tell yourself that you love yourself. You're still the same woman you were yesterday, and you'll still be the same woman tomorrow. Don't let the virus define who you are; it's a part of you, but it is not who you are. And, feel free to rant, rave, or share at any time. We all go through that. I was diagnosed in December and like all of us noobs there is a period of adjustment we all go through. Fortunately, there's some long-timers such as WCS, Adrial, and others who help us all get through those peaks and valleys.

Tingling nose and face itch? I think you might be suffering a tinge of hypochondriacititis. Is it possible? Sure. It's also possible it's one of a million other things. I'd suspect it's probably not.

Hey Jinx, If you are experiencing a primary outbreak, and it does sound like you are, it's one of the guys you met in December. You should let them both know and tell them they need to get tested. As far as the primary goes, well, it usually sucks. I had about half a dozen blisters, and they took several weeks to heal. Your's sounds pretty bad so you'll want to get on some Valtrex or Alyclovir to help, and you might also want to try slathering some aloe or zinc cream on them to help them heal faster and itch less. The good news is that for the vast, vast majority of people the primary is always the worst and subsequent OB's (if they occur) get progressively milder and far less annoying. Waiting for the HIV test can be very stressful, I know, I just got mine taken care of. In the interim, if you can, ask your partners to get tested and that will help you alleviate much of that stress. As far as herpes goes, you're love life isn't over, it's just been changed a little bit. It will get better, it will go on, you're not alone. For now, browse the site, ask the questions, and know that there's an amazing team of people right here who've got your back and are happy to help.

Couldn't tell you in the UK, but Acyclovir, Valtrex, or Valacyclovir shouldn't be hard to get. Talk with your doctor and see what they recommend.

Are you sure you have HSV2 and not HSV1? The only way to know is to have a blood test. At this point your test will be 100% accurate. It would be important for you to do that to know for sure. Yes, condoms are a must. Your outbreaks may be on your buttocks, but the virus is still floating around your entire genital area and you could be shedding anywhere in that area. Condoms will help reduce the risk, but to truly reduce it you'll need to go on suppressive therapy if your current lover is negative. Avoiding sex while you are shedding or having an OB, using condoms, and going on therapy will reduce the risk to between 1-2%. Haven't dared tell your current lover? If you've already slept with him, you've dared with far more than just a disclosure. You've dared with his health and that's beyond uncool. There are resources on this page for disclosure help and that is something you need to do ASAP.