HerryTheHerp

Welcome to herpes! One day everything is wine and roses and the next it's blisters and prodomes. That sounds about normal for the early days. It's a bit unpredictable and can really wreak havoc on your body some of the time. That will pass, just give your body time to adjust. As far as the flu like symptoms, those will become less frequent in the future, too. I'm 3 months in and I still get the fatigue from time to time, but not the sore throat, cloudy head and others. I would not recommend suppressive just yet. Like you, I agree you want your body to learn to fight this bug. Most doctors wait 'til about the 6 month mark to pull that trigger if things aren't getting under control by then. Exercise, but tone things down. Maybe instead of running you go for a short jog or long walk. Substitute exercises that are lower impact and see how that goes. Also, use plenty of lube with your boyfriend, take things slow, and that should help reduce the OB's triggered by sex. That can happen and is normal, and in time that should go away as well.

So, I'm confused. You have a permanent skin condition that you're terribly afraid he was going to reject you for; yet you're going to reject him for also having a permanent skin condition? Doesn't seem fair, does it? There are man steps he can take to prevent transmission to you. He can go on supressive therapy, use condoms, and avoid sex during times when he's having an outbreak/prodome. In fact, many couples do that and some have been together for decades without transmitting the virus. Relationships are about communication. And, you're not communicating. Tell him what's going on with your skin condition and your life. If he's willing to accept you bumps, blisters, and all; then you need to be willing to accept him bumps, blisters, and all. That's part of intimacy and part of the foundation you wanted to build.

That's one of the most interesting things about herpes. Doctors brush it off because it is so minor in regard to the medical side of things. It's just not a serious condition. That said, the social stigma around it is enormous; due in large part to the ignorance of it. It's like HIV was back in the 80's. Remember those days when you could pick that up by sharing a soda or sitting on the same toilet seat? That's where we are now with herpes. And, as with anything, the way you defeat ignorance, stigma, and shame is through education....and a really cool afterschool special starring Katie Holmes, Paris Hilton, and Dennis Rodman.

Too late. I look like I've been at the beach too long. Oh well, prunes away! The problem with herpes is that it does present in such a wide variety of fashions. It's like HIV and many other medical conditions in that regard. The symptoms and physical presentations vary so greatly. It's why doctors say that while a picture is worth a thousand words, a blood test is what you need. It's also why whenever you go to a forum everyone says "Symptoms mean jack squat." It's definitely something that needs addressed. It should be addressed very bluntly and in educational materials about the condition. As someone who does web writing, I can tell you there's no way to tweak the algorithm in our favor when people do searches. As such, it has to be done preemptively and during the education/disclosure stages. It should be addressed from all angles and it should start off with "A blood or swab test is the only way to confirm herpes...because blisters in the mirror may actually be larger than they appear." In fact, what I would recommend is that people Google images for disclosures, have them handy, and say "Honey, this is how mine look if you're wondering. Mine were/are pretty typical."

LOL! :) If anyone in this forum says "I didn't go to Google" the moment they thought they had the herpster, they're a liar! A flat out, red nosed liar. The problem with the Google images is that sometimes they do reflect the reality. Unfortunately, in my case like yours they did with a few that I looked up. I had a nasty Second OB that resembled something off a Hollywood horror movie set. That said, every other OB has been so mild as to barely be noticeable. I'm talking mild foliculitis looked worse than my OB's. Disclosures should all come with the caveat that not all pictures represent the common reality. In our internet obsessed era, it's important to remind people of that; that often the first pictures that come up are just the ones with the right SEO or the top number of hits, and not necessarily the most common images of what the condition really looks like. Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to go sit in the shower for an hour and enjoy my flashback.

Thank God! We needed a little more testosterone in these forums. Starting to feel like a darned sorority in here. It's one step shy of showing up at a tupperware party for us guys. Just yesterday I had a gal message me asking what I thought about eye shadow, rouge, and the difference between various diets. Welcome to the group. There's a lot of good people here and while we never like to "welcome" anyone to the H family, we're glad you're here.

Could be. Could also be foliculitis or a simple pimple, too. Don't be scared. Your body is adjusting to the virus, and it'll settle down in time. The more relaxed you are about it, the more relaxed it will become. I wouldn't worry.

My inspirations come from this forum and the people I meet here. Glad to know each and every person I meet. It's a big family and I'm thrilled to be a part of it.

Well, Shingles can be life threatening. And, honestly the Shingles vaccine is just the Chicken Pox vaccine readministered in adulthood. You want interesting, pay attention to The Immunity Project. They're working on an HIV vaccine right now. If their approach works, and they do manage to develop a vaccine in the next year, you can bet the knowledge gained will be applied to every other virus on the planet. The scientific approach is fascinating, but what's really fascinating and game changing is they're attempting to take the control of vaccine development out of big pharma/government hands and put it back into the hands of private researchers. If they are successful it's going to be a brand new day in global healthcare.

You know, I can understand where you're coming from. I've got three tiny li'l notches on my lipstick case, and I have friends that have so many their cases look like Freddy Kreuger has been borrowing 'em every weekend. But, somehow I'm the one with the STD. It just doesn't seem fair, does it? That's the jealousy talking and it can really get to you if you let it. I also have friends that died long before they could ever enjoy the pleasures of sex. That's not fair either. And, I have friends who have millions of dollars and others who have none. Not fair either. But, that's life and the only thing that's fair in life is that we all get to live, and we all get to be subjected to the lousy music Justin Bieber is putting out there. Everything else is up for grabs. You're making herpes be who you are rather than being a small part of who you are. Plus, you have HSV1 which is as common as they come. Over 1/2 of the country has it, and the other 1/2 doesn't care about it and isn't worried about it. HSV1 is like the Backstreet Boys of STD's; it's utterly harmless and might cause a minor annoyance, and I've yet to see anyone ever get rejected because they have HSV1. Club feet, bad breath, lousy dancer, talks in sleep, annoying mother, yes. HSV1? No. You need some distractions. You need to workout or pick up a hobby. Something to get your mind off it. Sure, you need to talk about it, but you're preoccupying yourself with it and that's not healthy. You're obsessing over it, and that will drive your friends batshit crazy. It's driving you crazy. You just got a new job. You're about to get your first big paycheck. You're an attractive young woman with an amazing life ahead of you, and gosh darn it, everyone on this forum likes you. Now, I want you to do something. It might sound crazy, but it works and I do it every day much to the chagrin of my female roommate. But, it only bothers her because I no longer bother to close the bathroom door when I do it. Get naked. I'm talking buck ass, just came into the world, flaunting it like you've got it Godiva naked. Go stand in front of a full length mirror. Give it your best Buddy Christ pose and say... "I love you. I love you more than anything or anyone else in the world." It works. It really works. Remember, life isn't about what other people think about you. Age and experience have taught me that what I think of myself is the only thing that matters. If you can look at yourself every morning and say "I love you" then you'll be amazed at what kinds of people that attitude will bring into your life.

It's a good question. I think Adrial's got it in his cue to pose to a medical professional. That said, there is some indication that taking the Shingles vaccine does help knock down recurrence rates of HSV1 and 2. It hasn't been really studied, but was an anecdotal finding of a study of the vaccine a few years ago. Keep in mind that while each member of the HSV family is similar, they all have different attributes and make-up. Asking why a vaccine works for one, but not another is a little like asking why Uncle Bob is fat while Aunt Sally is skinny; they might share some of the same DNA, but they're just different enough that things affect them differently.

Hi Daja, Hormones suck. Your problem is not herpes, it's being 32 weeks pregnant and your mind is going a thousand miles a minute with "what if's." Relax. Go take a bubble bath and pick out curtains for the munchkin's room. I very, very, very strongly doubt you have HSV down below. You've had HSV1 for a long time, and even if your current boyfriend has HSV1 orally, he couldn't transfer it to your genitals now. You have an established infection, and it's just not possible to reacquire it somewhere else on your body once the infection is established. The only way that could have happened is if someone performed oral sex on you within a few months of you first acquiring HSV1, and that just doesn't sound like that's the case. Your razor bumps are just that; they're razor bumps. Talk with your OBGYN, tell them your concerns, but I think they're going to tell you the same thing: Breathe in, breathe out, and remember to push.

Thank you all for the kind words. AbbyRoad is right, and I can and do get a chip on my shoulder from time to to time. I do have issues with those who know and fail to disclose and I'm working through that. I'd say the same thing if it was this, chlamydia, and especially HIV. Sometimes I can be a bit rough with that tough love. Abby, what you don't know is that SIAR and I have had some very good off board conversations. I may use a stick to smack some common sense around on the forum, but it's always an olive branch. Yes, we are human. Yes, we make mistakes and I make more than my fair share. However, part of healing ourselves and reducing the H stigma is to become better than we were. That's a hard road. Just read the story I posted just yesterday and I think you'll see that. I'm 36 and I just discovered what it feels like to truly forgive, and I'm still on my own road of personal growth and discovery because I know I'm far from perfect.

Hey now, what's that sound, everyone look what's goin' down. The Hopp til it Pops team is ready to deflate some stigma, reinflate some shattered egos, and educate some young and impressionable minds.

It's astounding the roller coaster of emotions that a herpes diagnosis can cause. It's possible to go from absolute fear to unbridled euphoria all in a few hours. It's been like that for me every day this month and I still haven't figured out all the triggers. But, after last night the spring is back in my step and the glimmer has returned to my eyes. There will still be hills and valleys ahead, but I know they'll be a lot smoother from here on out. I'd had a rough couple of months with the woman I acquired herpes from. It was a complicated one night stand that turned into a brief and stunted affair full of bittersweet memories, regrets, and angry accusations for both of us. Moments of passion spoiled by the presence of an STD. It was wrong. It was right. It was what it was. And, last night following the awkward exchanging of much anticipated blood tests confirming the absence of more serious viruses, it entered a new phase. It entered the healing phase. It began with mutual apologies. She apologized for not doing it sooner, and I apologized for being so impatient in the past week. We both apologized for the angry emails and bitter phone calls. These apologies all came from the heart where apologies should always be born. We talked about the virus and how she still doesn't know how she acquired it. She had vague symptoms once years ago, but before she'd ever had penetrative sex. Heck, even my mom's holding out in her insistence that I never had cold sores as a kid, so we're thinking there's a possibility it's 1. But, I'll have to wait another month for a type test to confirm that. Either way, it will be what it will be and I'm not worried about it either way. Once the hard stuff was out of the way. Once the nitty gritty about the naughty bits was cleared from the table, I looked her in the eyes and told her how if I could go back to the night we met and simply introduce myself and gotten her phone number, I would have done that instead. With that she stuck out her hand and said "Hi, my name is..." And, just like that we started over and became friends as the past was forgiven and forgotten with a simple handshake that lingered for a long while. Herpes was no longer an issue that was dividing us and tearing our hearts apart; it had become an issue that had strangely bonded us together. Where it will go neither of us knows. Heck, none of us knows what is going to happen in the next hour let alone the next month or year. Wherever it goes we can both move forward with our lives again. As friends for now with a long road ahead of us that neither of us knows where, if ever, it will converge again. There's definitely a lot of attraction, chemistry, and interest. That much is obvious. And, not to toot my own horn, but apparently I'm a pretty good lover. We're just going to wait and see if the trust, friendship, and other things that make a strong and lasting relationship are there as well. We have the chance now to get to know each other and find out; just a couple of days ago, we didn't. For now, I know that when I start to date again that when the disclosure comes to the table, I can tell whomever it is sitting across from me the story and that there's no animosity, bitterness, or anger in my heart over the diagnosis. It was sex. It was an accident that she would have protected me from had she known. And, in the end, she's still my friend. Life's too short to let a skin condition turn me into a bitter man and I have to believe that any woman I choose to be with from here on out will appreciate that. So, why do I tell y'all this deeply personal story? I share this so that everyone can understand the power of forgiveness and how it is integral to the healing process. It's not an easy road. It's fraught with difficulty and pain. It's found high atop peaks with sharp drops on both sides of the roadway leading to it. It's a path full of potholes and booby traps, and so many of us travel the diagnosis highway and discover that it's easier to simply allow anger and hurt, fear and loathing to derail us and push us over the edge. Most times it just takes a simple nudge to do that. Sometimes you'll walk it alone, sometimes you'll walk it together. If you keep on pushing forward, and if you can do it together with your partner, be it a one night stand or a long-term relationship, well I can promise you that the sunrise that awaits you both from that final peak is truly worth the view. And, in the end it's so much better to be standing there looking forward together as friends than to continue throwing stones at each other down in the valley where the sun never shines.

Serenity, On behalf of all decent men, I seriously hope this guy has a bad run in with a piece of farm machinery. Guys like that aren't men, remember that. Now, just as a thought, if you can't contact him...call his mama. I guarantee you she'll have a li'l chat with Jr. That first OB is a son of a gun. It sucks. They get better. My 2nd and now 3rd Yay! are extremely tame. Barely notice them. We're thankful you found us, too. You're far from alone, and sadly, there are a lot of stories like yours. And, like you, I used a condom and, well, they don't always work, do they? It's enough to make you want to call the folks over at Trojan and demand that li'l disclaimer be written a little larger on the box. You'll find someone. You really will. The world is full of good people, it just takes time to find the one who will love you, respect you, and do everything in their power to protect you. Don't be scared. Herpes really isn't that bad. Like you, I was bejesus scared for the past couple of weeks. Crested a hill yesterday myself and the valley below is really beautiful. And, you'll always have questions. We all will, and do. Remember, we're not here for you; we're here with you cause this is a team effort.

Congratulations, that's wonderful news!

Oh, it's on. It's on like Donkey Kong. This virus messed with the wrong man and it's goin' down. ;)

Alright, so I've been a mopey bastard lately. I admit it. I've been a whiny li'l beatch. But, tonight, Thank God, I had a huge weight lifted off both my medical charts and my heart. Herpes kicked a door open in my heart. It's a door I'd closed long ago and forgotten about. That door is enormous and the words that are going to come from my fingers, well folks, it's time to change the world. Who's with me?

In that case, yes, you can infect them with the other. There was some research that showed having HSV1 provided protection against 2, but given the number of people who have both 1 and 2, I don't think that the protection is significant.

There are different strains of HSV2, and HSV1. There was a study done back in 1980 that examined this. It was discovered that while possible, it is extremely, extremely rare to become infected with another strain once your body has built up the antibodies to either. It's also not known whether there's a correlation between the different strains and the frequency of OB's and symptoms. It's not something doctors/scientists have really studied. It might be a question Adrial could ask one of the experts he's got spirited away within his Rolodex.

Should be fine. If your infections are established, then there's no worries about autoinoculation or transfering the virus to another part of your partner's body. Condoms, dental dams, and other precautions aren't necessary provided you've both been tested for every STD and the tests show up free and clear at least 3 months after you've been in a monogamous relationship together.

Good for you! Wishing you the absolute best and hoping this turns into a fantastic relationship that will bring you a lot of joy, happiness, and if he's 1 of 6 men in America who know where the clitoris is, maybe an orgasm or two! Way to take a risk and show the rest of us how it's done.

Good advice. Good advice to follow.

Don't pass him a note in study hall. I'm going to jump in with the male perspective here. You're in college, and you're considering starting a relationship with a guy. That's fantastic and you sound like a sweet girl, so I'm willing to bet you've vetted this guy pretty carefully. A big part of a relationship is communication, and a note/letter is, well, not to be too blunt, but girlish and 10th grade circa 1996. It's not going to go over well. Of course, I understand you're nervous. It seems like a big thing to disclose. Fortunately for you, you have 1 and that's a lot more accepted than 2. In fact, there's a great possibility that your beau has already got 1. By college well over 1/2 of people do, so you're batting 50/50 before you even get out of the dugout. And, if he already has 1, he can't get it again up top or down below. Simply ask him. Hey, Joe, have you noticed how many people on campus get cold sores? Why, sure Sally, I have. Do you get cold sores? Well, yes I do. Well, so do I. Disclosure done, enjoy the movie. Remember: Horror movies are the best date movies. Of course, it could go a little different. Joe, have you noticed? Sure. Do you get cold sores? No. Well, I do. Does that bother you? Then you get to talk about it. 99% chance he won't care, will give you a big ole kiss and say "no big deal." Big Brother advice: I know you're planning to wait until marriage to "go all the way." We all planned on waiting until we were married. Very, very...very few of us did. Keep some condoms on hand. Things happen in the heat of the moment, and it's not a very long stroll from Kissington and Oraltown to Pokey Pokey Orgasmville. Between cheap wine, flat beer, and raging hormones, college is a time when that commitment will be put to the test. Further, if your beau doesn't have 1, and doesn't want to get it, you're going to need some johnny hats on hand so that when you reciprocate he's protected. You might want to look into dental dams, too. Bottom line: It's always better to talk than to pass a note or letter. Notes are acceptable for sliding under doors, leaving hidden in notebooks, or slipped onto desktops in a rushed moment. Notes should never be long, should always be playful/romantic, and should never include the following phrases: We need to talk. I missed my period. I have herpes. I'm dating your roommate. I'm a lesbian and I'm now dating your sister. Your mom & I are picking out wedding invitations and have already named our first 5 children. Oh, and make sure to make STD testing together something you do before you take another trip below the beltway.