HerryTheHerp

Only way to know? Get the blisters and bumps swabbed or get a blood test for her. Quite frankly, getting that definitive answer is the only way you are going to permanently assuage the anxiety you are feeling. Could she have gotten it from you based on what you've described? Yeah, it's possible. Is it probable? I wouldn't say so. Further, bumps on the butt could be anything from bug bites to chaffed skin or pimples; all of which would hurt if urine were to get on them. Get your daughter a blood test. That's the only way you can confirm what's going on. Explain your concerns to the doctor, and at 9, I'd advise a general "we're just gonna do a routine blood test to see if anything's going on." If it turns out to be herpes, cross that bridge when you get to it. Plus, if it is, you can help her get the treatment she might need to help control it as her body hits puberty here in a couple years. We'll be here to help your cross it, but in all likelihood, it's a bridge you're not going to need to go over.

Not much of a story really. I got my outbreaks on my thighs, was sitting Indian style in my bathrobe for hours on end, and next thing I knew I was getting blisters on my ankles. As far as I'm concerned, if any future outbreaks want to occur there and leave other areas alone, well, I won't complain. So far, nothing's come back so I can't test whether my plan is going to work...

Oh, sweety. I'm going to suggest you get in to see a professional counselor. That's a step you absolutely need to take. Your school should have one for you to speak with. There's also a sexual assault crisis hotline (800) 656-Hope, and they can direct you to specialist counselors and groups in your area. I know it's not something that just happened, and that's ok. They're used to getting calls from people months, even years after the incident. Now, I'm going to say this, and it's going to sting: Any man who would rape a woman doesn't love that woman. I know it hurts to hear that, but rape ain't love. Any man who rapes a woman, well, he's not a man to begin with. That's a man who will do far worse in the future, and you're fortunate he's gone. You're going to be ok. Don't think about dating right now. You need alone time. You need to discover who you are without a man by your side. Discover everything you can about yourself. That will build your confidence, and will build your character. Those are two things no one can take away from you if you don't let them. And, those are the things that a real man is attracted to. You're dating some real duds, and until you build your confidence up, you're going to keep attracting duds. Build yourself up so that you are so strong, so confident, so brave that no man will ever knock you down ever again. We're here for you. No one's going to hurt you here.

Well, not that it'll make you feel better, but breakups suck, amicable or otherwise. And, a lot of guys will react this way. It's just part of being young and dumb. I think if you passed it on to him, you'd know. He'd tell you. Believe me, he'd be calling you and swearing. He just seems like that kind of guy from what you wrote. So, I'd relax. I agree with Dancer that you're letting the fear get the best of you. Now, he's not going to go spreading rumors. Why? Because if he says "Oh, she's got herpes..." Know what's going to happen? Everyone is going to assume he has herpes. So, taken together, what does this mean for you? Nothing. Don't worry about it. It hurts, and it sucks, but it's an unfortunate part of dating. Some people react the way your boyfriend is, and he probably has a tinge of regret for the breakup. Let it pass. Who knows? 20 years from now you might call each other up and become friends.

Hi, Well, I'd highly doubt it's herpes. Is it possible? Meh, maybe. I autoinnoculated my ankles when I first got it. Could you have it on your fingers? It happens, and doctors/nurses do get what is known as herpes whitlow. Only way to know would be to swab them and see if they're positive. In the meantime, try not to stress over it too much. Could you spread it anywhere on your body at this point? No. Not possible. By now, you've got the antibodies and it's where it's going to be. Cold sores on your mouth don't surprise me. You probably kissed whomever gave this to you, and well, it's not uncommon to have HSV1 genitally and orally at the same time. It's just the nature of foreplay and sex. I know I've gotten cold sores since I got it in November. It happens. You need to go to a infectious disease specialist. That's a big name for "Dr. who knows about herpes." A GP, nurse, or even your OBGYN won't know as much as an specialist will. Good luck. Keep smiling.

Hey, I can tell you mine itched for weeks. Jock itch would have been a blessing in comparison. Aloe. Aloe helps considerably; get the cream, not the gel. The cream helps it heal whereas the alcohol in the gel just irritates it. As far as the pink, I had the same problem and it terrified me. It goes away, but it might take a month or so. Again, the aloe helps the skin heal.

Well, the guy you're seeing is a bit confused. And, it sounds like you might have gotten it from him. If he gave you oral sex, there's a good possibility of that. Of course, you could have gotten it from a previous boyfriend the same way. If he already gets cold sores, he has nothing to worry about. He already has HSV1. It's that simple. He can't get it anywhere else on his body, even if you two have unprotected sex. And, he's kind of right. It's not permanent; it comes and goes, but it doesn't leave any permanent damage. Has anyone else had a confusing, frustrating, scary disclosure experience? Almost every member of this forum has been there at least once. Now, I'd suggest you get your current boyfriend onto this site. It's full of great information, and more knowledge about herpes than his doctor is going to have.

Hi Jean, Were you ever tested for HSV2 prior to your recent tests? If not, it's quite possible you've had it all these years and just not known about it. That's the slippery thing about the herps, and yes, there are couples who have been together decades before transmission occurs. A combination of luck, the way your body is controlling the virus, and other factors come into play with that. You wouldn't be the first couple to go through that. Is it possible your husband had it before you were married? Same thing. How do you know that he didn't? Was he a virgin when you got married? The only way to know if he has it is to get tested. It's not something you can guess at or assume. He needs to get tested for both 1 and 2. There's no confusion as to how you got it: You had sex. The possibility of getting it any other way is so remote that you should go buy a lotto ticket if you want better odds. Getting fingered or blowing someone just aren't considered high risk factors. While 2% of people do have HSV2 orally, I don't think that's how you got it. Also, I would strongly advise you to have your husband read through these forums. There's a lot of information in here he could benefit from reading.

Oh, I'm just busting your chops. It's how most of society describes it. From blogs to dating websites. But, we can change that by not using it ourselves. And, let's be honest, it's time to change the STD discussion in America.

Hi Ray, Welcome to the club! Well, first, "clean." Oh, I hate that word. Try using "negative/positive" instead. You'll feel better. Clean/Dirty, bad connations and there's nothing dirty about having herpes. It's a simple fact of biology, and we've all got something, so in a sense, we're all dirty. I don't like to think about it in those terms. Now, it sounds like you and your boyfriend have a good relationship, and I wouldn't worry too much right now. It sounds like you'll be able to work through it just fine. Who knows? Maybe he gave it to you? In either case, he needs to get tested, and you two should take precautions including using condoms, going on suppressive therapy, and making sure you don't have sex if you have an outbreak. If he is positive, well, there's no way of knowing who gave it to who; if he's negative, you can take steps to protect him. Don't be scared. It won't help a bit. You're still the same beautiful, lovable woman you were the day before you visited the doctor. Could this have lain dormant for 4 years? Oh, yes, it could, and it does have a habit of doing creepy little things like that. There are some people that only find out decades later. The good news: you've found the best community for H on the web. It's full of great info, friendly people, and lots of support. My advice? Keep smiling. Get educated. Get your boyfriend tested, and relax. Herpes may irritate you every once and again, but it's not going to do any permanent damage.

Pritelivir (AIC316). It's being held up by the FDA over toxicity concerns (bogus). Not sure when it will be released. It was in phase 2 human trials, but then some jackoff at the FDA said "Hey, let's give doses that are up to 900 times higher to the monkeys and see if it kills them." This is why I'm not a fan of government and why I believe there's clear proof that something's rotten in Denmark. Anything at 900 times maximum dosage is going to kill whatever takes it. Well, unless you're Roseanne and that substance happens to be a Twinkie.

Ok, well, it sounds like your boyfriend is experiencing an outbreak. That means you have to lay off the nooky for a week or so. Wait until it's completely healed and you'll be alright. Any other precautions? Close the curtains, make sure the door is locked so roommates and kitty cats can't disrupt you, turn the phone off so mom's don't bother you. Other than that, sounds like you guys are doing what you can to prevent transmission. Are there success stories? Oh, plenty. There are some couples who have been together decades without transmitting...and many of them didn't even know a partner was positive. The fact that your boyfriend doesn't have OB's that often (sounds like this is a first) indicates that your risk is pretty low assuming he's had it for a while. Suppressive, well, suppresses outbreaks, it doesn't stop them. It reduces shedding, but doesn't eliminate it. There is a drug in the works that pretty much does eliminate it, but it's stuck in the FDA rigamarole. How often depends on the person, their health, and how well their body is suppressing the virus.

Well, I screwed up and autoinocculated my ankles, so you're not the only one who gets them in strange places. Just cover the area up, and you should be fine.

What she said.

I'm laughing so hard right now. Oh, the things we go through with this li'l virus, if we didn't laugh, we'd just lay down and cry. Chin up. A lot of us have been at the point where we want to grab that stethescope and tell our doctors just what we think of them.

How do you know your partner has HSV? Did he tell you? Or, do you just suspect it? Red bumps could be a lot of things. Everything from irritation to simple pimples. At 15 weeks, you'd most likely return a positive test if you were infected. I highly doubt what you are dealing with is related to either HSV1 or HSV2. Now, I would strongly suggest you get a full panel STD test. Anyone who is sexually active and not in a stable, committed relationship should get these done at least every six months.

That's why that little line is there. Yes, you can split them. You can also save even more money by going to the generic acyclovir which does the same thing, but costs a fraction of the price.

Well, the asymptomatic shedding is the scariest part, and one of the least understood. A couple of things; Your girlfriend hasn't had a visible outbreak. In fact, most don't. Typically, it means she's shedding at a very low rate. How much? Good question, but probably not very much. Maybe a few days a month. 1. Can she give it to you the ways you described? No. It's highly unlikely she has HSV2 orally, so kissing is perfectly safe. Could you get it by rubbing or laying next to each other naked? Possibly, but I wouldn't stress over it. 2. If your sheets are clean, why not? Cuddle, snuggle, enjoy each other's company. Look, I get not wanting to catch it. None of us wanted to catch it. But, it is what it is. Sex is a risk, and if that risk involves sharing intimate moments with someone you truly care about...well, I say go for it. There are some things you can do to reduce the risk. Condoms, avoiding sex during outbreaks (don't need to look all over her body, the groin area, buttocks, thighs, that's where you should look), and if your girlfriend were to go on suppressive therapy as a precaution, well, the risk drops to 1-2%. That's about the same for getting pregnant. Now, a word of advice. Support her. Stand by her. It'll mean more to her than you'll ever know, and who knows, maybe one day you'll be coming on this board to invite us to the ceremony.

Inka, send me a message. I definitely want you to participate! It's so important that we get as many young woman involved as possible. That's one of the fastest growing demographics and I want them to be able to read your story! Also, guys, if you're reading this, I'm short on the male perspective in the book. I have 3 right now, and I really need more guys who are willing to step up and join in. It's going to be anonymous in the book, so if you're doing ok with your H diagnosis and want to help others, now is your chance to do so.

Hi Amy, Willow, Judith. I'd love to include you all. I've just set-up the formal skype/email. Anyone who is interested, please send me a message at oldmainstreetpublishing@yahoo.com. When you do, please include your H Opp name so I know who it is that's contacting me. Once I have your email, I'll send you a questionnaire and we can get started. Glad you're going to be a part of this! It's going to make a huge difference to a lot of people.

I have five steadfast rules in life. I find they help me navigate difficult situations and keep me a little bit safer. 1. I don't date women named Candi, Bambi, or Jessica. Bad, bad juju for me. 2. Married women are off-limits. I don't care how unsupportive, unloving, or unattentive their husbands are. There's a God and I have a strong aversion to lightning. 3. I don't eat organs, anything with tentacles, or anything that still has eyes in its head when it is brought to the table. 4. Never date someone you meet off Craigslist. That's like the Flea Market of dating sites. Dating off Craigslist is like buying a used car from a guy named "Slick Willy." 5. Can't really remember this one, but I do remember it involves vodka, midgets, and swings. So, follow those rules. They're rules you'll live by. 36 years old and they haven't failed me yet.

Hey Rogue, such a beautiful story and I'm happy for you. It's always heartwarming when someone finds true love. Ooops. Did I say that out loud? Yes, yes I did. My advice to you: You've found the guy you love, you just didn't realize it. A best friend? Someone who makes you feel special? Someone who you enjoy laughing, loving, and spending time with? Someone who trusts and supports you? Girl, the man of your dreams is right in front of you. Move forward with him and see where this leads. It just might be the most amazing relationship of your life.

You're right, a lot of people don't know they have it because they've never been tested for it. Most people assume it's included in a full panel test, but it's not. Further, doctors don't usually recommend it. Why? Well, it's not life threatening for one. And, two, the diagnosis if positive can be devastating. It doesn't make sense, does it? I agree. And, yes, it can be passed even if using condoms. That's how I got it. Sucks, but that's the way it is. HPV can also be passed the same way. You should keep your chin up. I know it's hard now, but you've got a lot people here supporting you. We've been where you are now; I'll promise you nothing other than if you keep walking forward, it does get easier, and eventually, you won't even think about it.

Ok, if she won't show you papers, don't have sex with her. It's that simple. You said you had HSV1. Can she get HSV2 orally? Yeah, and about 2% of people with HSV2 have it orally.

Not exactly a birthday present anyone ever wants to get, is it? Happy Birthday, now here's a blister and prodome to go with the balloons and cake. That's why I don't schedule doctor's visits on my birthday. You don't want to celebrate birthdays because of a skin condition? Really? Think about all the good things that birthday's celebrate. Another year of life. Another chance to get things right. An opportunity to make this the best year of your life. Look at the positive side of things; you'll fall back in love with every aspect of your life. Yeah, it's a contagious skin condition. Lots of things are contagious. The common cold. The flu. Disco fever. Life is one big risk. That's all it is. Around every corner there are risks and opportunities. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. But, if you stop turning corners in your life, you'll stay on the same street forever, and, well, that's just boring, isn't it? Yes, your ex should have told you. But, you and your ex should have gotten tested before you had sex. A lot of people are assymptomatic and that's how this li'l virus spreads so quickly. In fact, most of the people on this forum got it from people who didn't know they had it. So, you're far from alone, and yes, it is possible to lead a normal, healthy life with this virus without having to live in fear of it. Is it easy? No, and it can be rather hard at times. It can hurt emotionally and physically; but it's a part of us now and we have a choice. You can choose to hang your head in shame, curl up in a ball, and let life pass you by. OR, you can look in the mirror and decide that you are still the same beautiful woman you were before, with the same hopes, dreams, and goals...and get out there and take life by the horns and not let this pesky little skin condition defeat you.