whitedaisies

@mandymoon what do you mean you gave it to yourself?

I really hate posting this. BUT I am so sad and I guess I have to vent. It's been a year and a half and I still have frequent symptoms even on antivirals. Today ha shooting pain in my vagina and pain in my legs. Guess I am shedding. I am doing all I can do. Taking meds, eating healthy, taking supplements. Nothig I do seems to stop te frequency. Severity has improve though. I really don't know how to get out of he emotional funk when there are always symptoms there. I just want to have herpes like everyone else. You have an outbreak and then it goes away and you feel normal. I am really losing hope that I will ver feel normal again. And I am not even looking forward to new drugs bc who knows when the ell it will get here and they likely won't work on me anyway. I wish I could take that stupid night back. It ruined my life. I got over the stigma. I got over losing love in a heart breaking way. I have educated myself enough to know the risks. Just none applies to me. I am in my 40s. Struggling everyday with physical symptoms. I jut don't know how to accept getting it this badly. For those of u newbies readig this...my case is really rare so not to fret. I jut hate feelig guilty too posting my troubles with it bc I don't want to scare anyone else but I need support too. I just want this to go away. I feel like giving up.

You did nothing wrong. Sometimes when people struggle it's hard to give advice. Also we always know Dancer hits the nail on the head every time. ;-) Vulnerability is a special thing. Honour your vulnerability and don't give it to someone until you are sure. You are doig everything right....more importantly everything right for you. Hugs

Hi Bethany. Glad you are managing with the stigma. Since you are newly diagnosed (a month) it takes a while for your body to build up antibodies. So that saying there still is a risk you could contract it in another location. That beig said, your bf is on suppressive meds and hsv2 doesn't like te mouth very much so the risk is really low. Now it's up to you and your partner to decide for te first few months what you are comfortable with in terms of oral sex til your body has time to build antibodies. With a low risk u may throw caution to the wind!!!! Other people will chime in on other issues. Hugs

Just thinking this today too.

Oh and anyone on nerve pain meds with an h - partner? How do you know when to have sex?

I am tired of the nerve pain. It's exhausting. Problem is I am scared to go on any meds for it bc I am afraid I won't know when I am having prodomes or shedding. Any one on nerve pain meds...how do they work and do you still feel prodome?

Kind of in the same boat in terms of trust. But the trust extends to me too...testing my instincts and trusting what I feel for someone is real or just a fantasy or maybe not a mutual feeling...i don't trust too many people anymore BUT for me if has some to do with herpes BUT most to do about a broken heart, a disappointment in the lack of humanity in people. All I can say is time will heal...continue therapy...be kind to yourself as TRuST has to be earned and you have very right to ask people to earn it! Also you have to start trusting your woman's intuition. When I listen to mine...it never steers me wrong. That means you have to stay open and in tune woth yourself so you can hear the screaming voice inside you. Maybe the trust you have to earn back is your own. And once you do that it will be easier to give your trust to other people that earn it. Just my 2 cents. Good luck!!!!!

Congrats!!! My suggestion is to post in westover heights clinic website. A top herpes professional in the country will answer your questions. It's a big risk going to a doctor as most are very misinformed. If you think about it if she was hsv 1 negative, her risk would be 1% with antivirals and condoms. Since she's positive it's likely between 0 an 1 %. Avoid outbreak times. There are no stats on the risk between two partners with hsv1 in different locations giving it to other locations on the other individual Good luck and have fun!!

Agreed. Facts and data should be weighed with integrity and quality of relationship. In the end, it's our humanity that defines us Not medical science.

There are differing opinions with disclosure of hsv1 and you have to choose what's right for you and what makes you comfortable and how you want your relationship with this person to be like. Odds are about zero from top herpes medical experts someone w an establihed hsv1 infection orally could also get it genitally. I would say it also depends on how frequent your ob are. So medical experts opinion on disclosure varies. Medically you could get away with not disclosing about ghsv1 and just say u have hsv1 too. Doesn't mean it's the right thing to do though. My opinion, if she had hsv1 already and u disclose, won't be a deal breaker for her. Seems to me that your partner was open with you and you may get major points (lol) for being open wih her too. It's a great way to win a girl by being vulnerable. The risk is tiny but by disclosing you are showing that care for your partner is important to you and what girl doesn't want a guy like that!?! As for sex go forward, avoid sexy time during ur ob and dr don't even recommend antivirals if u both have the same virus. I take antivirals anyways as extra precaution because I want to do all I can to protect my partner. I have ghsv1 and I have disclosed to my partner. He is unsure of his hasv1 status and doesn't care at all. Good luck

IMO nothing has helped but time honestly. But everyone is different and things could work for you that didn for me (I really hope). My suggestions woul be: 1) take lysene can't hurt and it could help if your diet is off balance 2) eat healthy 3) take a probiotic 4) take vitamin b and c and d vitamins which should give your immune system a boost 5) take an antiviral at the outbreak dosage (not suppressive dosage) for a while (with drs approval). Valtrex helped me only on double daily dosage and still didnt take all feelings away 6) get lots of sleep 7) put coconut oil on ur irritated areas to soothe. That has helped me 8) take Epsom salt baths which is a great cleanse For me personally famvir works best to reduce symptoms and shorten nerve sensations. I don't get classic outbreaks either. Apparently antivirals are less effective against hsv1 than 2. I have yet to go on acyclivir or valtrex again. I am sticking to famvir for now. I really think time is just something we can't fast forward and does the most help. You could also call westover heights and have them mail u pcr swabs so u can swab urself when these symptoms come up to see if they are herpes or not. That's the stage I am at now. Apparently you can't be on antivirals while swabbing either. Whenever I feel a weird symptom I swab and document and then when it's processed negative in my case, I know that it's not herpes or that i am sheddig so low that its not detected whch is good to lnow anyeay. That's how I am choosing to move forward) In the hope of relieving some anxiety) I had to develop a plan of movig forward. It's way easier for people to emotionally heal and make peace with the stigma when they hve periods of dormancy or no symptoms. It's really taxing when something's going on all the time. I go see a therapist for emotional support. I went to h opp weekend which I really enjoyed (funny to say) and I continue to post on the forum when I just get so frustrated I don't know what to do. @wcsdancer always gives great advice. Develop your plan of what you think you need to so to be able to get your life back. What are the issues that bother you and how you can decrease anxiety surrounding those issues. Mine started to be to prove I had ghsv1 and now I have abandoned that journey (hsv1 pos they blood test w no seroconversion proof). So once I realized the strategy for me should be how do I feel safe having a healthy sex life then I started swabbing symptoms that worried me and so far I haven't got a positive swab. So I have been able to enjoy sex now after (1.5 years) and have an understanding fwb partner. Never thought I would be able to want and have sex again honestly. Things will settle but you need emotional support so you don't go crazy. It's hard feeling like the "odd one out" or the "herpes freak". Get lots of hugs, support from a trusted few, use this forum. Unfortunately IMO dr can't help you at this point. Good luck.

Thank you both. Hugs back

Feel free to PM me if you need any advice or you can read my posted discussions. It will get better over time. Keep up with the antivirals...it took about a month of taking it to reduce my symptoms that still aren't totally gone after a year and a half. Everyone's body is different. Sometimes it just takes time for your nerves to heal. @Wcsdancer , I would be greatly interested in any comments from dr Peter leone.

Yes terrible But happy you are happy! Enjoy ur new relationship.

IMO ur dr isn't well informed. Immunoblot is type specific and igg test but u have to pay $140. ELISA you don't pay for and is not type specific. Is a worthless test IMO No transmission rates exist from genital to oral as the medical community's opinion is ghsv1 sheds very little. 80 percent of population has it orally. He can get it from kissig a girl. Honestly if I were him I wouldn't worry too much about it. You can pm me if you want. I can try to help further if u like.

Sti clinics do not provide blood tests and most say that on their websites. It's insanity. Go to a walk in and sometimes you get a compassionate dr Good luck. You just have to be aggressive. And even sometimes it doesn't help. Btw I am oral and genital hsv1 positive (not yet confirmed by swabs) but I har never transferred it to anyone I know of. I have had plenty of oral sex in the last year and half. I you don't have an ob I would say oral sex is pretty safe. Ghsv1 sheds very little outside of ob.

Canada does a combined 1 and 2 blood test under free health care. This is am ELISA test. If you are hsv1 positive there is a 10% rate of a false negative. Generally if you are negative once under Elisa you will always be negative. It is more accurate for hsv2 The immunoblot test can be purchased. Last year t cost me $140. It is an igg test. You ask your doctor and you pay $140 at the lab and they ship it to Quebec to process. You get your results in a few weeks. It does not give you am igg score just positive or negative. Again, more reliable for hav2 than 1. If you are concerned about hsv1, the best bet is to contact westover heights and do a western blot. You will likely have to travel to the states to do it. No doctor (and I have seen plenty) know anything about this in Canada and nor did they care. I have no idea what ur dr is talking about nebula test. That is absolutely insane. Dr are not very educated here about h and I can tell you doctors really discourage blood tests. IMO your best bet is to do the immunoblot. I believe Gamma Dynacare does provide the test.

@shocked80 Happy you are feeling good. Personally if the valtrex is working now I would stay on it a bit. There's nothing wrong with taking it and you know how emotional things can get once an ob or prodome comes. Good luck

Happy for you and your vagina!!!! I hope the days Inbetween increase and then this will become just a nuisance after a while. Good luck

Glad suppressive is working for you. Definitely when physical symptoms stop we feel normal again. Happy for you.

Yay happy for you @Dave1

They are good at detecting herpes in atypical symptoms and with shedding. No, sores don't need to be present.

These are pcr swabs that they use in testing for shedding. They collect genetic material and are not viral swabs. All mine have been negative

Well I have seen him a few times and everything is back to normal. A very stressful disclosure but a successful one nonetheless. It sent me spiralling and honestly I feel better now. He is very kind to me and just trying to get used to that. We have been intimate again and nothing seems to have changed for him so things are good. I am not pushing the blood test and realizing that my reaction to hsv1 was rare and if he doesn't have it already he may or may not get t from me. Going to focus on enjoying it and being happy. It's been a long road! Just considering myself very lucky and now on the right path to finally healing and finding happiness. Thanks!