Sil88

I wouldn't bother.. clean your hands of it, you don't need the extra stress anyway. I'd imagine she already knows or has it - and judging by your description of his lifestyle, I'm not sure your bombshell would affect him that much. Try and find a more positive way to blow off steam. Life's not fair, but it's still a beautiful thing.

I wouldn't even know where to look for my nodes.. but my armpits have been aching for the last few days. Think it's strain from a mixture of a 4 week cough and being 4 months into H. The swelling is supposed to be normal though.

If you do find out it's positive... you kindly did your bit and gave him a chance; someone will return the favour - it's karma, and the scene is set.

(2 cases per 1 million people) Thank you, that's a relief. Although I guess the number of cases among 1 million people with symptomatic HSV is higher. I don't think we even have laws for that in the UK.

I'm not so worried about dating.. but life-threatening meningitis, pneumonia, and being sued for transmitting? That's terrifying.

@ladyf123 have you tried removing the medication from the equation? I've been having lingering nerve shocks and wondered if it was a side effect of the valacyclovir. No theory, just curious.

I've been taking them for maybe 2 days once i notice an OB, then leaving my immune system to do the rest.. Hope it's not harmful as your second opinion thought.

I have no knowledge, but I would guess that it'd more likely be a bacterial infection? Please let us know what you learn, if that's possible with hsv it's worth knowing.

What a guy, really happy for you

I'm not an angry person, but I've felt some.. It's fading though. Depends if they were negligent in some way, missing or denying signs, insisting on lack of precautions etc.

Well written! Dancer is probably right about the simple stats, even if I don't appreciate how simple that makes us guys seem :p It's a very personal letter so it needs to be written in your own way with your own feelings. I think the truth is that the wording won't really matter all that much - it's about his current feelings and his instant reaction to the overall message, which is 'I have herpes but it's not as bad as it sounds'. If you do read it out and your heart is pounding, that will be so endearing. It will show your vulnerability and be much less formal. His heart melting will override his brain calculating. Anyway don't overthink, it messes us all up. Expect nothing and you can't be disappointed. I really wish you the best of luck, it'll be fine.

Thanks seeker.. I dread the day that I have to pass kidney stones. Maybe I'll try to cupcheck myself regularly in preparation? Quite tricky to decide if it was my back or my kidney. Luckily I haven't noticed the pain over the last few days though. Understanding more each day!

I honestly just ate 4 reese's cups.. Here we go.

Quite insensitive of him, but at least you can see clearly now. Life goes on, you get to appreciate all sorts of other good things, with a bf or with friends. Just need to let go of the anger. Saying that, I'd be pissed at a smiley too.

I suppose the way I read it is: 0.8% population - Oral HSV2 15% population - Gen.HSV2 (Negating all the kids who get oral herpes from aunts or toys, teenagers kissing etc.) "Only 1% of all oral herpes comes from HSV2." Isn't specific to oral sex, and could be misunderstood as 100x less likely to be transmitted. Ever the optimist! But regardless, I'll take care with OBs and hold onto these ding dong flavored condoms I found lying around :P

@WCSDancer2010 "Only 1% of all oral herpes comes from HSV2." Something tells me that figure could be misleading though since up to 80% have hsv1, and likely kiss others a lot more than give oral?

What are the rough chances of hsv2 passing to the mouth without an OB or a condom? I read here that it really hates the mouth area..

@inka I swear I felt it kick when you said that... I think it's growing in my kidney..

Well my other tests came back clear so hopefully I can just accept that hsv is messing with my nerves, causing neuralgia here and there. Hoping it will fade in time and not cause any permanent nerve damage. Thanks all

I've been thinking about that lately, from the other side of the gender wall. Here's some thoughts or experiences.. The first time I noticed signs of hsv was my middle finger's cuticle. I bite my nails sometimes and must've had a skin tear on my middle finger. It went below, and appeared infected a few days later. Herpetic whitlow is the term. So I guess be careful of cuts on his hands.. I don't think it's particularly easy to catch though. Not sure why it all happened so quickly to me. Some people seem to say it offers no extra protection or removes any intimacy, but I've considered wearing underwear during sex to cover surrounding areas. TMI: My OBs aren't on the penis, it's the area above that I want to block. Friction and moisture in the areas where you have OBs will probably trigger more so if possible use positions that give those parts a rest? I'm actually newer than you, so maybe I'm just stating the obvious ones.. Look forward to reading other suggestions though.

No worries, genital herpes is about 20%, but oral is 60-80%. Right - if it's a good relationship, don't throw it away over this.

I don't have the source information to hand, but I'm sure transmission is more likely during the first 6-12 months. Here's a good place to start:

About 60-80% of adults have oral herpes btw

All over? That's tough, sorry to hear. Weather the storm using advice on this forum, it will only get better. I'm a few months on from a similar situation (only difference really is that mine's type 2, and my blisters weren't as much of a problem as some other symptoms) First thing, nearly everyone has oral HSV. It's unreasonable to expect her to disclose that to you. If she had a noticeable cold sore at the time, that would be worth mentioning or avoiding contact. Secondly, try to remove the anger towards her as best as you can. She's probably as upset as you about the transmission and letting her do what she can to help you is win-win. Or is that lose-lose? Well... a battle won, even if the war is lost. Damn, that didn't work well, sorry.. Anyway, you need to keep your mind stable for the next few months - accept, forgive and put it to the back of your mind. The mental side of H is the worst part - If you can remove stress from the equation, it will help your symptoms so much. Since you've been together 8 months, you don't have the additional stress of 'what else?!' I'm not sure, but it might have less stigma attached since you caught it from someone's lip. Plus, I think it's less likely to find a home on other genitals than type 2. To be honest, the girl I caught it off was negligent, but I still decided to keep things positive (starting with the test) - but your situation is just unfortunate. There's very little cause for blame. What's done is done, so think about what's in your best interest and try to keep a cool head. Hope the people here can help you as much as they have me.

Haha could be the biggest positive to come from this. Filling a male niche market - how lucky we are!