Sil88

I don't think you're adjusting to H, but probably the knock-on effects it has on your happiness. I thought I was mentally bulletproof until H came knocking.. Then the stigma, back pain, tiredness and previous 4-year breakup compiled and caused some depression (but luckily only for a few weeks) I randomly started tearing whilst driving me and my brother to work, and then whilst at work too - I actually like my job, sort've! Didn't want to do anything, stayed in bed for whole weekends.. The worst question was just 'how's it going?' since it pops up so many times a day. Then quickly deflect and switch the focus to someone or something else. Distraction, self-improvement and relief that it wasn't something worse pulled me back. Also, someone told me that people pray for the things you take for granted - Well, I was praying for H on those test results. So I guess not wanting to talk about yourself is normal if the topic of yourself is not in good shape. At least you're taking steps to build on that, picking up new hobbies and what not... There's probably a lot of people that want to know you on a deeper level, so keep building for the day you're ready to open up. Do deep conversations always have to involve sexual health though? Beliefs, politics, existence.. No, stop right there - I've got herpes. There are people out there who may want to properly know you before diving into the sex ballpark. I've only been here 6 months, but my way of dealing with the social aspect will be try to shed as much shame as I can and be open and honest with close people. I'm confident they will at least be sensible about it, maybe learn something new too. That leaves the regular colleagues and friends on a night-out.. I'll take a back seat, forget about problems and enjoy the atmosphere if nothing else. I can still have a laugh, but do feel some resentment when the topic becomes about casual things.

I think it would... I put a plaster over it if I have an ob. I've had tingles in my finger, an aching arm and a sore wrist before. Not sure I'll see much of it again though.

Yea, about half an inch above the cuticle.

I've no idea.. Since the torn cuticle healed, I had 3 tiny bumps appear once, but they disappeared in a day or two. I don't know about shedding though.

Mine aren't swollen as far as I can tell, but my armpits ache/are a bit painful most of the time. Can anyone relate to that?

Damn, living the dream! She sounds great, hope all goes well.

If there's a blood test available where you live, get her to take the test. It's probably more likely that she has it too, asymptotically maybe. If so you will have no problem with commitment. Although this thing is permanent, I'd say only 20% of the bad news is permanent and 80% (anxiety, shock, worst symptoms, stigma and feeling of dirtiness) fades away after the first few months, and life can pretty much be normal again with a bit of confidence. Hope you two can find a few answers and put it behind you asap.

I woke up in sweat on three occasions I think. I remember wondering if it was the antivirals, but it hasn't happened again since. About the cold water effect, no I haven't noticed that, but since you're nervous about it all then it's understandable.

Well I can't tell you there's a cure, and you said the initial shock is what's killing you. That'll wear off and you can't do much else except laugh. I realise it's a tough time, but at least you already had a kid/kids - you get to skip the main concern I have.

I have a pair of mirror image spots too, but on my inside thighs.. I was wondering the same thing. More likely in my case since it's the boxer area.

Herpe Christmas! That sucks, but I'd say you'll be over the initial shock and worst of the symptoms by Easter.

I imagine it would help her guilt if she helped you out a bit. Either by continuing to date or by setting you up! Sad story, I hope you're just having a down day and will get back on it soon. Gotta love a challenge.

@allaloneks Don't worry, we're all in the same boat and there's millions on-board. We've all been through that panic stage too (even though kids are something for the future in my case). I'm about 5 months into my diagnosis and things are much better. I've accepted it, experimented with telling people, tried to learn everything about it bla bla. I wouldn't want to get my life over with anymore. I find these OBs are like tunnels of misery, you forget what it's like in the daylight (which is the majority of the time). Maybe wear boxers/hot pants, and pay a little more attention to hygiene. The chances are surprisingly low if you have sex with someone, so cuddling a clothed toddler shouldn't be a concern. Try and do something to relax yourself and help your body tie the thing down.

Yes I had serious fatigue but only for a few days. It was enough for me to understand how you must feel though. So it's getting better now? I don't think you should only get with h+ guys, we just have to be more awesome in more important areas, that includes not letting it drag us down. And hell, gotta love the challenge of it! Hsv 1 intends to affect the mouth, I think we can be sure of the slightly lower risk factor. Especially with no outbreaks!

Yes, my giver had a fever but otherwise no symptoms. It's only been about 8 months for her though.

Congrats, one less thing to worry about! And it's the type that puts less risk on your partner. With the neuralgic pains I was getting all over my body, I was massively relieved to confirm I had hsv2 and not something more life changing. All is well! Or if you don't agree you can at least try to trick your brain into thinking so.

They may as well be answering the question, 'would you date herpes?' The most important part is you, and that's missing from the equation. We're not sheep, we're all unique. Anyway, that little attachment will weed out those with commitment issues. Also, the Internet turns people into scumbags and trolls. Have a look at 4chan to see that. There's an insult or offensive comment for every type of person. Take no notice.

What if they ask of any conditions or medication, and you say it how it is? I'm assuming it's still not an issue?

The flu symptoms should only happen once. At least you've got your answer now, you can try to let your mind rest. It's not so bad!

I've had all the symptoms you described if it helps (except headaches but i never get them).All my research and panic just made everything worse, but felt necessary at the time. Unfortunately, lots of conditions have the same kind of symptoms. All mine have faded now, I get hints of them now and then. If you haven't seen the duck, that's not so surprising. 80% don't see it clearly either. Relax for a few days until you see what the results say. I found the doctors here in UK didn't recognise some of my symptoms either. They put it down to stress.. Which could be right I guess, but as people say, it's just a weird bug.

I can't believe it was 1 in 10,000.. It only took a week of protected sex. And same for her before that. Not to mention everyone here that caught it from their first experience. How much do you think risk is increased during the first 3 months, or during periods?

Here's another way to look at it... If I have sex 100 times, 2.5 times it'll probably transmit. In other words, an average of 40 times for the virus to be passed on. The usual way of reading it is 'I have 1-in-40 chance of catching it each year'... I think???

Gotta be hardcore to have a SNES now! I'm well into gaming, but don't have a console. Online RTS instead. Tempted to break that rule after seeing GTA5 first person though...

I'm still figuring mine out, but seems to be - tiredness like you, yawn a lot through the day, sleep early - aches on my arms, last time was elbow area this time armpits - lower back ache - nerve shocks in fingers and thighs I think some of these might go away, and I still don't know when the blisters will appear.

@thisislife well, you hit the jackpot. Double-barrel guru posts, just had one of those big-sigh-of-relief moments. Thanks