NSgreenville

Awesome Story Jeff, its an amazing feeling to let go and let yourself be you again. I can relate greatly to your story. Keep up the positive thoughts and great things will continue to come your way.

Hey Everyone, Update time. So this past weekend she came down for the weekend and my roommate and I threw our apartment warming party. We were referring to this as "Gauntlet Party" because she was going to meet about 90% of my friends. Well the responses were "Damn Nick where'd you find the girl?" "I like her shes cool" "Hold onto that one" "Hey Nick shes taller than you." All things that just made me grin ear to ear. The next morning she was like "well that was stupid to be nervous about" I'm telling anyone on here that is scared of disclosing or thinking that no one could possibly love them in the same way as before herpes. Well guess what, that thinking is just wrong. So what if you get hurt by someone that doesn't understand. So what if its a deal breaker. Because if I hadn't taken a shot and lived with a little reckless abandon. I would have never gotten to know this girl. I would have never loved this girl. And that would have been a much greater tragedy. My heart was already broken I didnt care if someone broke it some more, but now I feel whole again because for the first time in my 28 years I am being honest with myself and my emotions. Love all of you, Nick

Hey everyone, Woooo what a week. So went up to her place for the 4th and met her sister, brother, and mother. It was a great time. I ended up staying the whole weekend and couldn't have asked for a better time. I know that we've only been dating 2 months now but we have just been blowing through barriers and typical hiccups. We did have a small argument about being Facebook Official, but I nipped that in the bud and compromised by letting her blow up our newsfeed with photos of us. Shes going to be coming down for a party I am throwing on the 19th and thats when she will meet all of my friends. I know its soon to say it but this girl has some real potential to change my mind about the idea of marriage. I couldn't ask for a better person to be with. Ill keep you posted

Hey everyone, Been super busy with work and moving into a new place. Made some big steps this past weekend though. She was confident enough to introduce me to her son on Sunday. I am also going to be meeting her Mom, sister, and brother this weekend for the 4th. Needless to say I am nervous as can be, but only because meeting family is always nerve racking. Other than that I can honestly say this is the healthiest relationship I have ever been in by far. Love you all, Nick

Good Morning everyone (well its morning here in South Carolina), So my girl came down Friday night and we got all dressed up and went out on the town. As we were laying in bed I realized I truly loved her. Not just in a physical, thanks for having sex with me type of way. But in a way that was unselfish and just pure. So I dropped the L word. Its very mutual to say the least. And some of my friends are skeptical (heck I would be) but when I went on our first date I said I was going to be open, honest, and real. Well, she did the same and we have cruised through every barrier that was a "hurdle" in my past relationships. I'm now happier than I have ever been and its because Ive accepted myself. If I'm the most stubborn person I know, I think anyone who come on this site is capable of the same love. Sorry if this is turning into a journal for you. I just feel like I have something so positive to share with anyone who doubts their own chances out there like I did just a few months ago. Love you all Nick

Hey Helzbelz88, I totally understand where you're coming from. I just went through the same thing. I just kept connecting, and honestly just act like you dont have H. Let you shine through. If you continue to connect and get to meet in person then you'll know if it will escalate to a sexual situation then you can tell him prior to it getting to the no pants dance. Thats what I did and it was amazing. Our connection was beyond any skin disorder. Dont be so hard on yourself. (easier said than done) remember you arent rushing into sex, so build the other aspects of the relationship and then it probably wont even a big deal when you tell him. Good luck and have fun!

WCSDancer, that is also our mindset as well. Its amazing how my stress levels have dropped since I disclosed to her. So I can tell my body is treating itself better. I luckily have a strong immune system so thats been a plus. Either way I know Im super excited to be having sex again, and its better than all the times before. Who would have thought 1 diagnoses would have changed my life for the better. Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend. Love you all Nick

Thanks WCSDancer!! She is coming to visit this weekend for the first time. I've been cleaning my place every night trying to make it not look like a typical bachelor pad. We've also decided to have me go on repressive therapy. I know there are some drawbacks, but we talked it over and decided that for right now we both feel more comfortable taking as many precautions as possible. Safety is Sexy. I certainly feel like a teenager just gushing about this girl but I honestly couldn't be happier. I know when I was first diagnosed with Herpes I saw it as a condition or a flaw. But she sees me for the quality guy I am and herpes is just something that comes around from time to time. And she even tells me Im perfect for her. And anyone who is on here knows that you feel far from perfect some days so hearing that is such a motivating statement. Keep on fighting the good fight, and anyone who feels lost or not sure on here, please don't hesitate to message me. There is a lot of great information on here. And like most information you don't realize how valuable it is until you have that AH HA moment. Love you all, Nick

Thanks everyone. Its been a spectacular couple of weeks with her so far. A lot of great progress in what appears to be a promising relationship.

Hey everyone, So as I let you know last week I got the nerve to disclose to this girl I met on only our second date. Yes, I know that seems quick but heck when you know, you know. Well This past weekend I went over to her place for dinner and ended up spending the whole weekend together. It was my first sexual experience following my diagnoses and it was extremely nerve racking because I truly care about her. Well after it was all said and done. I don't think I have ever had a better physical experience in my entire life. And I know this is because of being open with her and disclosing. We have a level of communication that I did not know before this site. I'm on cloud 9 right now. I finally get what Adrial has been telling us over the years. Honestly I was a big skeptic about me finding someone. And it wasn't until I met this girl that everything thats been said on this site finally made sense and most importantly, gave me the mindset to properly disclose and begin a very healthy relationship. Yes ladies and gentlemen I have a girlfriend. And I would not have been in this position if not for the pure and real love I get from all of you anytime I post here. Thank you everyone. Love you all Nick

Ok everyone, I disclosed last night. I knew I was going to have to all night and as I knew it was winding to a close I knew my time was running out and I didn't want to put it off for another time. She could tell I had something on my mind and so I just told her I had something on my mind that I wanted to discuss with her because I felt such a strong connection with her and that I felt safe to be vulnerable with her. I Highly suggest telling people this when you disclose. It was amazing how that instantly bridges the trust gap. And once I got it all out in a very not smooth manner she sat there holding my hand and realizing that she had an honest, responsible, and a guy who wants something more than just sex. She understood and even told me honesty is attractive. And she even said "You're being too hard on yourself" and shes right. But I did something last night that I was terrified about. And this morning I woke up happier than Ive felt in over 18 months. I met friends for brunch and they even said "Nick, why you so giddy? You get laid?" Nope even better. Love you all Nick PS she already wants another date. And that is absolutely happening

Thanks Adrial, I just think back to 19 months ago when I was diagnosed and stumbled onto this site and how uneducated I was. Now I'm more positive then ever, and not just positive with Herpes. Yes, I made a joke. Keep on fighting the good fight everyone. I'll keep you posted good or bad with what she says. Either way I'm taking the next step to this truly being an (H)opportunity

Hey everyone, Its been a long time since I've posted on here. I hope everyone is doing great. I recently signed up for a regular dating site to shake the rust off of dating. First few weeks were terrible, mainly because dating isn't that fun. Crazy how I thought I was missing out on this because of H. Well I met a girl and we talked for a few weeks now and are going on our 2nd date tonight. And I am going to tell her. No idea when but probably towards the end of the date. I'm as nervous as ever, but not because of herpes but because I don't want to lose her. We have both decided that we want sex to be the last expression of intimacy we have, and thus far we have been able to connect on so many levels its terrifying to me. How did I date all these years where it was sex and then intimacy??!! Seems so backwards now. So thank you Herpes for allowing me to connect with someone without having to have sex. Sure she may be scared, she might even have that be a deal breaker. But for better or worse I have started a relationship not based on sex and that feels amazing. Love you all, Nick

Equanimous, I know exactly how you feel. You feel like the old life is gone forever. And in a way it is. But when I look back my drunk/random sex life wasnt all that good. I had 2 decent relationships and beyond that it was empty. WHile Im still on a dry spell when it comes to sex. I've come to the terms that the next woman I have sex with will know my deepest secret that I hold close. I have high hopes for this because once a woman is comfortable with you she lets herself be free in everything. And one of the easiest ways to get her to be comfortable is to let your guard down and let her into your life. Keep your head up and reach out to me if you have any question or just need someone to chat with.

Adrial, actually I think some of the doubting and second guessing might have helped me. I know that sounds backwards but it really made me think of how I wanted to say it and say it in a manner that was true and from the heart. Granted I probably should have cut that second guess in half but hey I got where I wanted to . First time is always the hardest/ most awkward. But if I made it through that then Im pretty confident I can take on any talk now. Love you guys

So after a few months of pretty consistent communication with a girl I went on a few dates with prior to moving to Miami for the rest of the year. I was starting to get to the point of thinking this may actually go somewhere when I moved back. I knew with the building sexual tension I was going to have to eventually disclose. And with the advice on here of maybe not waiting until the actual moment(and potentially killing the mood) I decided to sack up and just do it last night over FaceTime. I could not be more happy with the results. While at this time I dont know what it means for the physical aspect of our relationship. My ability to be open and vulnerable with her brought her to tears. I surprised her but in a good way. I feel a great weight lifted off me and now that I've done it once I feel capable of doing it again if need be. Thank you everyone for the support.

I went through the same thing last year on my birthday. I know how much confusion and self doubt comes with it. It gets better and life does go on and continue even with this slight hiccup. Feel free to message me if you feel like venting or questions. Smile you have people here who understand and love you.

I feel for you. I had a similar situation. I found out I had it and in turn found out she gave it to me (she did not know at the time). Rather than be mad at her I tried to be supportive and let her know she didn't have to go through it alone. She then text me said her test results were positive and she was moving away. A little humor My friend and I laugh because she took my favorite hoodie when she left and I was more concerned with getting that back. Not to defend him but some people cope differently, sounds like he closes himself off. All you can do is let him know is that you're there for him if he wants. But at the end of the day you always have us here. Stay strong

It sounds to me like you are handling this very well and responsible. He sounds respectful and understanding. Don't hold back and tell him everything you told us. He will respond positively. Good luck and stay strong!

Thanks everyone. Lots of positive thoughts. I certainly dont feel like this sped up my "settle down" process. I was starting to feel ready for it prior to my discovery. So I feel like it set me back a few steps. As far as quarantining myself, I would say I potentially am. I am going to be moving back to Greenville South Carolina in approx 5 months. I have kept in contact with a girl there who I went on a few dates with prior to leaving. We have know each other for years and I have decided I want to disclose to her next week( shes on a business trip this week) Its a huge step but I feel comfortable with her and I know she'll love me no matter what. Even if that means she doesn't want to pursue anything physical. I honestly don't think I could do a lot of the things Ive done in the past year without some of the complete blind and loving support of the people on this site.

I have not tried any dating sites. Probably tried 5 times to make a profile but it's difficult to put a personality into words. I may give it a try. What could it hurt.

Cry, Freak out, get mad, ask questions. I went through it a year ago and it sucks because you don't know what to make of it. Its the unknown. But I promise you it gets better. You will become a stronger person, and more than likely a better person. There will be tough days but you'll make it through. This site helped me a lot my first few months and I'm back because I knew it would help now.

So Its been 6 months since I've posted in here and its probably because I haven't had a desire to discuss the H. But luckily for me I have the beautiful luck to have my contraction/diagnosis fall exactly on my Birthday. So last week when I turned 28, I got all the emotions of what happened a year ago come rushing back. It also reminded me that I have just kissed a girl once in a year. Sure I have had multiple times where I felt one may be interested but I just gave up because I didn't want to let myself down or let her down. I moved to a new City (Miami, FL) and have turned really into a homebody. I go to work, go to the gym and come home eat and go to sleep. I just dont know how I am going to be capable of telling anyone about my H. I feel like maybe this is just my burden to bare for now and when Im ready I'll be ready. I want a relationship badly (4 years since my last one) but I just cant see how I can accomplish that. Not sure what to do anymore. Thanks everyone for letting me vent.

Hey Abbyroad78, I ended up not disclosing, other things came up that had us part ways. Sucks because we were definitely into each other but long distance was not something we were willing to do. It was great being able to build a "relationship" without sex. Built up my confidence too.

Sorry everyone for the super late delay. Ive been so busy with work 2 promotions in 2 weeks, a trip north to visit my brother, and moving. That date fell through, she got very strange a few hours before meeting and I said screw it. Ive had 1 more mild outbreak since I last posted. It wasnt as bad as my initial outbreak but still not fun. I have met a girl who I have hit it off with very well. I'm starting to realize that in this crazy experience maybe it was what was meant to be. I've discovered that creating a "relationship" before sex is pretty damn nice. I actually want to spend time with her. I have not had the disclosure talk yet. ( 3 dates 5 total hangouts) We've kissed but nothing more. Im debating doing it this weekend if we get some alone time. I know what I have to say but it does not make me less nervous. I feel a connection and I feel it growing into something special. but who knows. I will do my best with keeping my updates more frequent. Love all of you. Nick