StillMeButWiser

During my first outbreak the pain was excruciating. Sent me to the er. Doctor gave me lidocaine gel and percocet. I would piggy back ibrophren with it. Felt like electric shocks coming out of my labia. Peeing in bath helped. Few days later I had trouble with releasing my urine which lasted for couple days. Anti virals really helped. Go comando. Keep your chin up and know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Proceeding outbreaks are no where as painful.

@amethyst21. Welcome. Boy, you are in a transition phrase. From a person who traveled the path you are on. I would say, take time for you. All the time you need. Doesn't mean you can't enjoy a companions friendship or moments out. Everyone needs to get out and escape. To feel alive again. Do what feels right for YOU. If you feel like kissing, then kiss. Feel like being alone, then be alone. Try not to worry about others. If they genuinely care about you, they will support anything. As you feel more comfortable with yourself the fear of passing herpes will fade. Good luck.

Sounds like a dirty dick to me. Dump him, you deserve better. During the last year and half of my relationship constantly had yeast and bv infections. Now, post relationship for 7 months, nothing. Mr innocent I dont think was so innocent. He ran when I had my first outbreak. They lie to avoid being accountable.

So im a little confused. Your ex said his herpes lession was a wart? When I had a blood test done at few weeks after first outbreak it said postive 6. Basically had it for least 6 months. So who knows who gave it to me. My ex didnt want to be accountable and far as I know still hasnt been tested. I was diagnosed in january of this year. Been a long bumpy road. Was very jaded and didnt trust for the longest time. Just now in getting my zing back to date. Get tested and take it from there. Herpes doesnt define you. You are still you.

His friends would only know because he told them. If he doesnt tell they wouldnt know. So in other words, he may talk smack about you when the relationship ends. My relationship ended because my herpes made a surprise entrance. He ran. When he was asked by others what happen(we together shy of 4 yrs). He told his brother to ask his wife, who is my dear friend and had set us up. So that told me he wasn't telling anyone of my herpes. Then again his rep would be on the line as he might have it too. So say to yourself, NEXT!

Take a breath. To be certain go get tested. If you think you may have had this for a while antibodies would show up in the blood test. As scary as it may seem, knowing for sure will ease your nerves. Dont go by the online pictures. They are worst case scenerios and only freak you out more. Herpes can come out in a papercut shape besides bumps. Some people only get 1-4 bumps. Mean while for discomfort sit in epson salt bath. Dont pop, as it can spread. They will pop on their own. Good luck.

Are you stressed? I have been emotionally stressed and being treated for depression.

Far as the shedding, im not sure. When my doctor did a culture of the red inflammation it came back negative for hsv. The part I dont understand is at the time of my first outbreak a boodtest was taken. The results were positive 6. Basically stating had the virus for sometime before it made its debut. So if my body had it under control for however long, why cant it get under control now?

To me it sounds like he is looking for closure for himself. The guilt is weighing heavy. But you never know. People make bad choices doesn't necessarily make them a bad person. Sometimes a library is a good place to meet. No matter what, the ball is in your court and I'm sure you will have no problem taking the higher road. Remember, to take blaming out of don't use you statements. Use I feel------when I see or whatever it may be. Good luck.

@brynn2012. I'm not sure where you live but when I was in your boat waiting a month to see a physicist, my primary physician prescribed anti depressant med. unfortunately that med didn't agree with me and I felt helpless again. So when I was at the gyno I expressed how depressed I was he prescribed another anti depressant. Which helped tremendously until I could see the physicist. Take it hour by hour, day be day. I spent many days curled up in a ball crying all day. Herpes was only part of my grief. the best gift you gave yourself was recognizing and reaching out for help. Far as friends, sometimes they don't know how to help so keep a distance waiting for you to reach out to them. Your true friends will always be there. If not, let them go. Good luck in your journey.

His reaction will be who? Not me. It's you. I never had a girl complain before. Then he will try to convince you that it is made up in your head. So save your breathe, just say you are not the one for me. Keep in very short and simple. Otherwise, he will argue every point while getting in the final word. You are on the right path, run with it girlfriend.

@misskellyrenee. Gut feeling is usually right. If it's not sitting right it's because it's not right. The clues you are picking up are from a very selfish person who is eager to get his full clamp on you to control you like a little puppet. So do your self the biggest favor and run girlfriend. Have you noticed everything has to be done his way not acknowledging you? He has done it all and brags about it? For just meeting you he is certainly over stepping his bounds and disrespecting you. He is making himself very comfortable quickly in your space with no regards to your comfort zone. Selfish. Also selfish people can be abusers. They treat you like gold but you have to comply to him. They move thru the relationship steps very quickly to make you theirs. The life you have fades and becomes his world and it's very hard to leave with out getting physical first. Give yourself tons of credit for picking up on these clues and taking them very seriously. Smart lady you are.

Believe me, I wish there was a remedy. For longest time, knowing this redness is there in combination of being diagnosed made me feel even more abnormal. Made it very difficult to press forward in my acceptence of herpes. I used all the negative test results as a positive influence for my mind to believe it will just take time for the nerves to calm down. If you have any doubts,Mao back to your doctor.

@ktk. I know exactly what you are experiencing. Mine has been since jan. the only time I notice that it starts to go away is if I suddenly take bunch of valtrex. But it comes back. For longest time it burned. Been to several doctors, numerous times. Had it cultured, no herpes lesion. Tested for infections, negative. Steroids made it worse same with lemon balm. The doctor did give me a prescription for a antidepressant for the skin. Can't remember the exact name. It's a compound med therefore I'm almost positive my insurance won't cover it and I don't have money right now to fill it. So I do nothing, totally leave it alone for now. If it does burn were it is painful I apply lidocaine. I found epson salt bath made it burn, oatmeal bath soothes it. Aquaphor helped a tiny bit. The skin in our sacred area is very sensitive. So be patient.

@dazednewbi as you take a deep breath thru your nose, close eyes and bring shoulders up to your ears, hold. Then slowly release breath thru mouth as shoulders move down. Followed by lots of positive self pep talk. You got this girl. Best wishes

@chikitta13 I wouldn't be surprised if many people ignore or simply don't realize it's an outbreak. With razor bumps, paper cut sores or the tiniest lithe bump can be overlooked or assume it's something else. Let's face it know one wants to know they have herpes/problem. Sounds like you def got it from him. I been reading lot of stories men don't want to be held accountable. As dancer said rather be right than happy. Making my guy no exemption even with his hsv1 orally. You seem very reasonable and caring, better is yet to come. I honestly didn't know and strongly feel the stress of my mom passing and getting a coconssion compromised my immune system thus herpes coming to the surface. Awful timing. At the same time, I feel sex is adult act with responsibility and risks. Him and I had unprotected sex for 4 years, things can happen. Example, my son came home from camp with ringworm on face. Somehow I got it on my scalp. I also could've passed that onto my guy thru hugging, laying on pillow, etc. luckily I didn't.

Oh my, first of all take a deep breath. Normal to have so many questions surrounding a first outbreak. You will get through this. It's good you were able to get the sore cultured. Step in the right direction. Try to be patient for the results. As I read your words, sounded like it wasn't a herpes lession. We can get clogged ducts that causes a boil type of sores. Try Benadryl for the itching. People say lemon balm works too. My first outbreak seem like forever. Been 6 months and I still have redness and inflammation. Believe me, I had all the same emotions you are having with this other sore. Really try to lower your stress and have faith in your body in healing itself. Plus you have taken steps in the right direction to heal. Takes time.

Hi @wcsdancer2010, you are right about him. Took me a few months to get it. Wow, wanting to be right over happy, kinda sad if you think about it. That type of person most likely will end up alone. I would like to know thoughts as if the shoe was on the other foot. Someone contracted the virus from someone who honestly didn't know they had it. And how the newly contracted person felt. Did they feel betrayed, understanding, etc. I have a hard time trying to imagine what the person would feel. Thought knowing this would give me some insight for future relationships, etc.

Please help me understand your thoughts of contracting herpes from a person who didn't know they had it. I had my first outbreak in jan and the blood test was a def positive hsv2. Basically saying I had it at least 6 months. When I told the guy I was seeing of 4 years, he immediately accused me I gave it to him, cheating, etc and stopped all contact with me. I honestly didn't know I had it, apologized, and never accused him as I didn't want to play the blaming game. Left me very hurt. (Yet he didn't go to get tested, says a lot. But that's another discussion). In a better place now, I'm trying to understand his side. What possible thoughts and emotions he had.

Years ago I had a boil like bump that would appear inside my labia minora. Most times it would make a head and if squeezed, white stuff came out and it would get smaller. Couple times it went aeay completely. Finally went to gyno. He said it was a clogged sick and he put a slit and was able to drain completely. Never came back. He also said to wash with antibacterial siap once a week. In your case, it doesnt sound like herpes. Epson salt in a very warm cotton ball or cloth might bring it to a head faster. Have a doc check it out.

The accuser is the doer in half of the cases. The other half just doesn't want to take responsibility/own the problem. Question is, Is one better than the other?

Has anyone had/has trouble in trusting people after being diagnosed with herpes? Diagnosed in january and simultaneously dumped by guy of 4 yrs who has hsv1. I find myself not trusting, especially men. What they say, if there is an alternative motive or what. Friends and my psychologist tells me I have the right to not trust given everything I have been through. Is this normal? It's gotten quiet bad, recently I had to deal with the authorities regarding custody of my children. Not trusting the officers words, feeling like they were saying anything to get me to do what they want. I gave them a hard time and questioned every little thing they slapped me with disorderly. Not knowing for sure who gave me harry herp, I think of the men I have been with, how they possibly mislead or lied to me about being clean or about goals of the relationship. So I think this may be adding to the problem. I also wonder if this could be a hidden anger related as I was never angry for getting harry. Had no one to blame since I didnt know who was my giver. So I could only be angry with myself. Which wouldnt get me very far. I took it as sex is an adult act that comes with risk and responsibilities. I used condoms and still got it. Im curious to know if others had the same issue. What can I do to trust again? I know trust needs to be earned. But I dont even give them a chance to earn it.

Are you currently having your first outbreak? During my first outbreak I was in horrible pain all over. Shooting pain from tushie down back of legs. My neck felt stiff and achy, possible lymph nodes related as herpes causes them to be swollen. So from my experience I would say all can be herpes related. If you are not having an outbreak and having all this pain. Have you seen a chiropractor? A good one who X-rays your spine and shows you the results. Spine is central nervous system and if it's not 100% it can be causing the pain and believe it or not anxiety. Seriously check into it. Take a deep breath, pull shoulders to ears as you exhale lower shoulders exhaling threw mouth slowly. Doing this helps counter act a panic attack.

Don't be embarrassed by having a smaller chest than others. Instead cup the girls as defending them and say well they are a handful and laugh. The other person will laugh as well. Or the other option is again cup the girls as defending them saying yea not much there in a joking but serious way. You will be surprised how quickly the other person will disagree with you. Believe it or not there are lots of benefits to a smaller chest. No sag, can go braless, can be body painted, easier to find tops, they don't hide under arm pits when lying down, etc. lol. Embrace them. Most Guys like butts. An old lady told me once, guys like lot of cushion for the pushin. Lol. I was shocked. Stranger telling me this. Funny thou.

Is there another physician in the practice you can see going forward? Almost sounds like she is judging you. Not right. It might be time to change offices. If you feel strongly in not changing, really stress to her the improvement in quality of life daily meds have made. Also your concern in not wanting to pass the virus onto someone else. I have noticed some doctors just don't want to be bothered for whatever reason. Also realized some doctors don't believe in using valtrex as a daily surpressent unless you have million outbreaks per year. My last gyno, who I only chosen because of insurance, would only call in the exact amount of pills needed for an outbreak. When I asked for surpressent for an upcoming trip he said call me prior. I felt like he was controlling me and after seeing him every week for a month I knew he just wanted the money for the office visit. Which was confirmed when He wanted $25.00 when I asked for my file to transferred. (Only been seeing him for a month). Told him to keep the file but to fax over my Pap test which was done a week prior and he refused. I had to call labcorp. What an ass. New gyno did give me surpressent Valtrex. These doctors see so many patients they can't remember us that well to be real personable. They just act like do. Years ago my gyno who delivered two of my kids would walk into the room saying, "and there she is." I admit it made me feel a lil special. Until onetime while waiting for him I heard him say the same line to a patient in the room next to me. Then I felt like another number. Lol