Katidid

@MMissouri yes, exactly! I've never heard the first complaint out of my husband. He's a very special man.....even through this cancer and he just had a surgery yesterday. He is one of a kind. He said (jokingly)....if it wasn't for H he prob wouldn't get nearly the oral attention lol so tit for tat!

You got that right!!! It's the "you" people should love and respect!!!

@MMissouri it confirmed what I has suspected all along. I'm just happy that with hvs2 we have kept my hubby from getting it:). I assume I shed less due to having it so long

@Hippyherpy not sure transmission is any different male vs female as far as oral sex and hvs2 goes. It's apparently very, very low as according to what I've read, there are very, very few cases of hvs2 on mouth.......something like 1% and I've never seen it specified male/female.

@MMissouri it's always been his choice to use a condom and it's just how we roll....the only time it's ever bothered me is when he bought some with spermiside on them by accident and I guess I'm alergic.....it absolutely set me on fire!!! I'm sure he'd rather go raw.....I know he would, but this way has kept him virus free so far. Having said that, we have more oral sex than intercorse as we know the transmission rate to mouth is 1%....and how many men can say they have that much oral sex that are married and it's not their "birthday blow job"?? Lol

@optimist ok....thanks!!!

Oh ok....the nurse read the results over the phone so I have not actually seen in in writing yet. It probably is 5.0 lol. Thank you very much for responding so quickly!!! I wonder if very high values indicate "recently aquired" vs a lower value as having had it a very long time.....interesting.

@WCSDancer2010 this question really does not pertain to this post, but you are so knowledgeable when it come to the H. After 30 plus years, I just officially found out my type lol. Hvs 2 which I suspected. My value was .500 positive for hvs2. Are there values higher than this or is this standard value to show you do, indeed, have it? Hvs1 was .09 neg. Seems like I've seen other people's values as high as .11000. Thanks in advance!

@aep001 I enjoy your math! So interesting....those numbers would likely be less the longer the person has H as well. Just to encourage you a bit. I've had H since age 23 and am now 58. I'm in a 20 year marriage and my husband is currently H-. We always use condoms (his choice) and I've only been on anti viral for aprox 7 weeks. So, according to the math, another 24 years together my husband will likely get this lol...he will be 80 and prob not give a crap lol. Thanks again!!!

I think often times, we are so inquisitive about the "per sex act" rate of transmission because we want to keep our partners more safe and have better stats to share with them (and to feel better ourselves about having herpies to begin with) rather than hoping to not have to disclose. Disclosing, in my opinion, (thankfully I've only had to do it twice and both were successful) is a very personal choice and it's equally the responsibility of the "other" person to ask....after all, its a shared partership even if for a one night stand. It's all very tricky anyway...... the "other" person may even have it and not know all the while they are asking if you are STD free...or they knowingly have cold sores and don't give that a second thought! Really, it's a small wonder it's not 1 out of every 2 people have this.

No, not always, but often enough to take notice. Possibly because my periods were soooo painful and I guess the pain likely brought on the ob's. It did and does get less in time as the longer you have this. The less outbreaks you will have. If you look at some of my posts you will see I've had this over 30 yrs. Got it at age 23 and I'm 58 now. Mind you, a very, very fit 58. I weight train 5 days a week and pull a weight sled up hill on the other two days. I've always been a workout fanatic which really helps with H (my opinion) and get enough rest!!!

Quiting your job from hell was a good thing. Hopefully a new job will give you a new start. We've all been where you are and just know it will get better from here......I promise! I'm married 20 yrs to a man who is H- and life is great!! Glad you have support......I never told anyone other than my two disclosures early on. Just educate yourself as much as possible and everything else will fall into place.

Absolutely get out and do something fun. Go meet some people! Just think......every 4 or 5th person you meet has herpies! Maybe join a gym and get yourself a beach body and go show your awesome self off to the world!!!

I would go ahead and ask for anti viral daily. I'm in menopause now, but my period did bring on outbreaks when I was first diagnosed. Hormones can definitely have an affect. At least give it a go for a couple of months to see if it helps. It's actually pretty safe.

Very interesting and got a huge chuckle out this today.....I guess the H does have a humorous side at times

I've had herpies for over 30 yrs and my husband of 20 yrs is H- so it's very possible to have a lasting relationship and not pass it on. My hubby is very much like you....herpies is not a big deal to him ( of course, that may be because he does not have it). We do tend to have more oral sex than regular sex....hvs2 is almost impossible to pass on like that. Good luck to you both!!!! Oh, and anti viral for him to keep you safe. Also, it's likely that the vigorous sex you guys had brought on the outbreak for him. That's very common and the downside to having herpes and enjoying wild sex:)

@hadvocate the first disclosure was a little different. It was a guy I worked with. We were in the heat of the moment. I told him and he said "educate me." So, we stopped, I gave him all the info I had (22 yrs ago) which wasn't nearly as positive as today. We ended our date a few hrs later on a very good note and he wanted to think about it. He came back a few days later and wanted to give it a go. We dated a few weeks and he found out his previous girlfriend was pregnant so he ended up moving out of state to be close to the baby. We are still in contact today on fb and he is h-

Yes, I had planned on telling him either way. I had info print outs all ready on hand For him to read. Of course, the info wasn't nearly as positive as today. He never even read it. He just listened to what I knew about it. We always use condoms except during oral sex.....that's always been his choice. I am on anti virals now. Just been on them 8 weeks. I wanted to bring my 5 or 6 ob's per year to zero. So all we use are condoms. I have just finally gotten tested myself to find out which type I have......likely hvs 2. I'm just curious now.

Yep...disclosing matter of factly worked for me twice. The second time ended up being my present husband of 20 yrs who is H- (he was just tested). He was ready to jump in the sack the second date. I asked if he had a condom. He said no......I said "well, that's not very smart this day and time with all the STD's and then I just sprung it on him. He ran out and got condoms and said he'd be the last person I ever had to tell. It has never been a big deal to him therefore, it's not a big deal to me.

Lol....I'm getting properly tested for sure. Prob next week

Oh, ok....makes sence

Very interesting. I read somewhere on here that hvs1 on the genitals stays dormant in the back of the spine rather than the base which is why it sheds less. Never thought I'd be excited to be one over the other lol

@MMissouri lol....here's the deal. I've never actually been tested. Before this site, I always thought if it was on the genitals that it was hvs2. I'm going to get tested after 30+ years of having it because now I'm curious. My giver had it on his genitals and no cold sores. I was with him for about 10 yrs......he knew his giver. I may even call him to see if he's ever actually been tested. My husband of 20 yrs just got tested and is neg. I wonder if I do, in fact, have 1 instead of two with less shedding.

@MMissouri so hvs1 in general sheds less??

I know hvs1 can be transmitted orally to genitals. Can genital hvs1 be just as easily transmitted from your genitals to someones mouth via oral sex? Is hvs1 less transmittable from genitals or just the same as hvs2? Just very curious about this scenario