Katidid

@Leo85 it's very possible and highly likely you got something from your cheating wife (if, in fact, you do have herpies). Your test would not come up positive 6 days later. If it's showing positive it goes back much farther than 6 days and possibly the condom breaking or just the sex alone could have caused enough friction to bring on an outbreak. I would get tested again and get type specific and make certain you tell Dr you want type specific and numbers. Good luck!!

Ditto what MMissouri said exactly!! Where do you think all the women on here got herpies from?? We got it from men. Some who knew they had it and others who didn't know they had it. Most of us woman felt very down, dirty, disgusted, their life was over, maybe they couldn't have children etc....At some point you have to get past the grieving process and pick yourself up and move on. You will never move on if you don't want to!!! We can't help if you if you don't want to help yourself. There are plenty of guys on here as MMissouri mentioned (Hippyherpy) is a young guy who loves women and has one night stands damn near every weekend and discloses to all of them and they are all willing to take a chance. You have to realize that you are actually more safe than 80% of the rest of the population because you know you have herpies and you know what to do to prevent transmission down to very minimal odds. Adrial is a man (the founder of this organization and site that we all find comfort in) and he has disclosed to the whole world!!! His life has moved forward and you can too if you want to.

@lifesemtence You might think I'm full of shit too, but I've gone 35 summers and life is great! I found and married someone over 20 years ago who doesn't give a shit about my herpies and he is H- as far as we know. The second summer isn't over yet.....give it a chance to be the last summer you feel this way!

@cier I was 23 when diagnosed.....I'm almost 58 now. I was shocked too. My boyfriend at the time didn't disclose. We had been having sex (unprotected ) for about 6 months. Then one night he produces a condom and tells me he thinks he has an infection. The condom came off and wala...herpies a few weeks later. After finding the herpies cream in his bathroom, I confronted him and then he comes clean. I am in a 20 year marriage and as far as we know, my hubby is HV neggative. We always use condoms (his choice) and have lots of unprotected oral sex. I just recently started anti viral hoping to reduce my 5 or 6 ob's per yr to zero. Life goes on and you will find someone who thinks herpies is no big deal. My husband told me he'd be the last person I ever have to tell. He never even brings it up. Give yourself some time to really let it sink in and know that you are awesome and no one can take that away!!!! Realize you are now safer than most of the population......as most people have no clue they have herpies therefore don't take any precautions. Lift your head up and carry on with your great self!!!!

Interesting

@DNABalistics I am female and have had herpies 2 for over 30 years. Maybe 6 ob's a yr. I'm married for 20 years and as far as we know, hubby does not have it. I just started anti viral 6 wks ago just to take 6 ob's to zero (hopefully ). We have always just used condoms. And lots of unprotected oral as it's so rare to pass it on that way. At any rate, I just talked him into getting tested after 20 yrs lol....I guess just to be sure. So we are waiting on the results. He did the lgG 1 & 2. Fingers crossed he does not have it. If he does its all good too, but I'd like to think we have kept him from it all theses years. He does get jock itch from time to time which sort of made me wonder if it's herpies or jock itch.

I just recently started hormone suppositories which wakes up all the nerves in the vaginal area and can cause soreness as well. I've had herpies for over 30 yrs and rarely ever have prodrome. Well, now I'm having sore right vulva and sort of dull pain for three weeks without any sign of anything.....no swelling, no redness etc. I'm on anti viral too. Can you have prodrome this long with having had herpies over 30 yrs? Not sure if it's hormone fluctuations from vagifem or hv2 prodome. I know I've posted a similar question... .but, am concerned about the length of time I've been feeling this. I think prodrome normally is just a few days

Personally, I would take them everyday especially since it looks like you have both 1 and 2. I take one per evening. No side effects at all. I think it's pretty safe. However, I just started them about 5 weeks ago. I'm married 20 years and as far as we know, hubby is virus free. He is getting tested today, hopefully. He has never shown an signs. We have always used condoms or unprotected oral sex.

I mean for them. Of course, they might have something as well and just choose not to disclose. I just meant skin to skin in the bits area. Are you at all contious of rubbing skin to skin or you just go with whatever happens. Yes, HIV is def something we have to worry about. I guess, I would always wear a condom too unless you know for certain the other person was tested like yesterday. It's going to come down to people carrying their last std test results in their wallet....not a bad idea. Of course, then people will capitalize on a way to revise them.

@Hippyherpy are you at all cautious ( I mean I think you said you use condoms), but are you careful about skin to skin or grinding or do you just go at it and hope for the best? I know you get laid about every weekend which is nice as you always disclose so it helps others to see that most people really don't find it a big deal.

Ok....thanks. he's going to our GP so I wanted everything specific as I've read all about GP's not really being up to date on hvs testing, etc. I've hand written all this down for him to take with him

I'm writing this down for hubby to take to dr. So, I wrote it as you put it IgG. What does that stand for, do you know? It is a blood test, right?

Thanks!

@optimist you are right! I just wonder what test to get since we have never been this route. Is PCR blood work the way to go?

My husband always called it "my infliction" when he used to bring it up to see if I was outbreak free. I never minded that word. Anything sounds better than "herpies" in my opinion. I have talked him into getting tested. We have gone over 20 years and as far as we know he is H- I just want to be 100% sure and to make sure he isn't one of the asymptomatic carriers. I would love to think he doesn't have it after all these years. He gets jock itch from time to time and I have always wondered if it really was jock itch and not herpies. I guess there is a difference.....no clue what jock itch even looks like

Yes....sometimes it feels like the surface of your skin is sun burned

For sure you need to get some help with the depression and just let things simmer down a bit. I'm sure if you passed herpies to him, he is the type to get right in your face about it. You will for sure know, but I don't think he'll spread that about town as he would be telling on himself as well. Just take a deep breath and get yourself on track.

Def sober up, get on anti viral and carry condoms with you if you are going to continue to have sex like you always did. At least you recognize what you did was wrong, so it's not all bad. Maybe you can call the guy and give him a heads up. You would feel better about yourself and he will learn a valuable lesson.... to practice safe sex.

Right there with you @Hippyherpy

I can completely understand not wanting to disclose....even thought I know it's the "right" thing to do. I think it's so difficult to do. Your chances of spreading while being safe (using condoms and anti viral) whether you disclose or not, are exactly the same. I do, however, wish I'd have been given a choice, but 30 plus years ago we didn't know what we know now.......all there was was cream and condoms. I was so in love, I would have accepted it anyway and prob ended up with It the end anyway. I remember the night it happened. He must have had an outbreak because we had been having unprotected sex for a long, long time and then he produces a condom one night saying he thought he had an infection. He must have been having a full on ob and the condom came off. I had to fish it out of me. It wasn't long after that I had it. I had an open sore just inside my vagina. Dr said he didn't know what it was. I then went through his bathroom and found the acyclovir cream and confronted him. We had a very, very long talk. He apologized and we ended up marrying a few yrs later. We broke up after about 5 yrs and have remained very good friends. I've disclosed twice with success...... Why did westover clinic close their doors? I didn't know. Isn't that where they do the most comprehensive testing for herpies?

Ok, ok. It's so interesting that people can have this and never know. I often wonder if my hubby falls into that category. He has never been tested, but has never had any symptoms after 20 yrs. I would like to think he doesn't have it and using condoms all these years and not having sex during an ob have kept him safe.

Hi and congrats!!! Have you started anti viral and are you guys using condoms......just curious

@tango65 I had a hysterectomy at age 42 I'm 57 now. I also had breast cancer which was hormone receptive so I could not do hormone replacement.......hence the vaginal atrophy. It got to where sex was very painful so I asked about vagifem. My Dr put me on the lowest dose as it doesn't travel to the bloodstream and he felt the risk for recurring breast cancer was low considering I'm 14 years out. Anyway, the vagifem has worked as far as replenishment of moisture and no more pain. HOWEVER....it woke everything up down there and I started having tingling everywhere......it drove me nuts and still is. It's like prodrome on steroids. I'm going to try something else. It sort of worries me as I can't distinguish if it's prodrome or the vagifem and don't want to pass herpies on to hubby of 20 yrs who is H-. On the flip side, a dry vagina will produce tears even without intercorse so could possibly bring on ob's.

Yes, just take it daily like a vitimin. I mean, its for the best interest of the future partners and peace of mind for you. I take it every evening like clock work. I would guess, you would want to take it long term.

Hippyherpy.......so this is pretty new? I'm very impressed with how you handle it. Kudos