Sail

Simply state the simple truth. That you think you were exposed after him and found out your diagnosis after your connection with him. Keep it simple. Ask him if he keeps up to date on stds tests. If he doesn't he needs to get a recent one for your protection as well. Both of you may have it. Rules to live by, never assume anyone is without something. As for rejection. If he rejects you then let it go and find someone that sees more than a diagnosis. Find someone who will celebrate who you are :)!

Yes it is demonstrated in many cases. A strong immune system will either kill a virus or push a virus like herpes into dormancy at the base of your spine where it hides. Start on your browser with a lysine/arginine ratio. Study the foods that are balanced. Stick to a higher lysine diet and supplement with 1500mg of lysine per day to keep herpes in check. Processed foods are not healthy and have very little essential vitamins needed to keep your body strong. I would not recommend wings and fries frequently, but occasionally is just fine. The herpes eraser book will not cure herpes, but it is a great nutritional reference to get you started on your journey towards asymptomatic. I am currently asymptomatic on no antivirals managing simply by diet, exercise, lysine tabs and vitamins.

As a RN, we do not know about every virus, every diagnosis that comes down the pipeline. It was only after exposure that I started researching all stds, esp Herpes strains. Only medical professionals who deal with the herpes diagnoses know about the strains and honestly their opinions are scewed. The medical professionals only see the worse cases of herpes when the immunocompromised can't fight it off. They don't see the asymptomatic or nearly asymptomatic cases. I am glad you were honest with this person. That shows integrity and that's important!

@stew4 I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You are still obviously in shock from your initial diagnosis. We all go through the shock of initial diagnosis and feeling like we have been contaminated. That's normal. Yes at some point you will want to have sex again. That's a primal instinct that people have, but it won't be for awhile. Right now you need to focus on healing the initial outbreak and yourself mentally. Be gentle with yourself. Herpes is your health barometer. If you are stressed to the max, the outbreaks will be worse. Now is your chance to start taking care of yourself. Eat healthier, exercise and boost your immune system first. You will find that the healthier your lifestyle is the less outbreaks you will have. Good luck to you. -Sail

@warm cuddles . Well ain't life a b***** sometimes! Yes, doesn't guarantee that you will get cervical CA. If caught early cervical CA very treatable and yes it would be very wise to continue getting preventative checkups! Good luck. Xx back!

@warm cuddles. Hi I'm glad you felt that I offered something relevant to you. Listen I had been with the same man for 17yrs before I was exposed to herpes. The 1st man on the market gave it to me, he knew he had it, he knew it was contagious and he didn't care about exposing me without my knowledge. I think you got the better end of the deal here sister! My point is I really think that your man simply didn't put 2 and 2 together. It happens. As for herpes it's an opportunistic virus and hpv is as well, as is every single virus on earth. I asked the practioner for the vaccine for it because I do not have it and they laughed, Im too old at 36yrs for the vaccine, and basically told me to enjoy the virus because almost everyone has it. It sucks, but I Have PRETTY much come to the conclusion that when I do get exposed that at least it will be with someone I adore and that adores me. With any luck it won't be the dangerous strain that causes cervical cancer.

Hi @warm cuddles, I am going to chime in here. It sounds like you could use a good therapist to get you through some of your traumatic past. It sounds to me like you might be projecting some of the trauma from your past onto your boyfriend. Getting a trained person's perspective and doing some work on yourself to help you let go may be the way to go. You certainly sound like you have a very supportive partner. Not all cultures view stds in the same light as Americans. That western stigma is just that, an irrelevant stigma. Anyway, it takes one to know one ;)... I had to deal with my traumatic past to finally heal. Please work on your healing again. Be honest with your man and start to work on yourselfrom. Go to the gym, eat healthy, reduce stress and you will start to feel better. Ask your Mom to refrain from talking about these things with you and treat your man with the respect he deserves.

Hi, so mind you this is what I do for superior health as well and I do cheat occasionally, but overall I stick to my daily practice consistently. If I need a glass of wine one night, I have it. If yoga doesn't get done one morning so be it. Here is my regimen each day: 1 tab CoQ10, 1 tab super B complex, 1 tab B12, 1 tab fish oil, 1 tab vitamin c, 1000MG lysine in am, 500mg lysine at night. You can do an extra super b complex vitamin at lunch and even one in the evening to super charge your immune system, be careful because the evening one might keep you up. I cut processed foods, I still eat a little gluten, but not very much. In the morning I have a spinach shake with frozen fruit and hemp seed with organic 1% milk (keep the milk it has lysine and will heal outbreaks) and a little organic whole oats tiny muffin (gluten free). If I want eggs and meat, I have it. For lunch I do a complex carb, Vege and meat, and for dinner meat and vege, sometimes a carb. For snacks if I am cleansing and super charging my immune system, I will eat 2 oranges per day. Otherwise, I stick to an oats granola snack with low sugar. I get from 6 to 8 hrs of sleep every night. I also do yoga 15 minutes in the morning and exercise at least four times a week. This can be 30m of whatever. You don't need a gym membership to exercise :)! Early on I read "Herpes Cure," "Herpes Eraser" you can find it all over the internet. It did not cure the herpes. I am still titer positive, but it did teach me how to force it into dormancy. That is what makes that program valuable. It teaches you management skills for your diagnosis. I highly suggest reading it. It is worth the $36 dollars. I haven't given up my coffee, although I cut it with milk. I still have a little bit of chocolate, maybe a little piece, everyday to every couple days. The biggest thing to remember is herpes loves sugar, so cut sugary foods. Keep your immune system super charged. This forces it into dormant phase. Reduce stress, add yoga or stretching into your daily life, exercise regularly. Yes I still eat sugar, but in moderation..... if you are a popcorn addict, now is the time to stop. Type in lysine / arginine ratio in your search browser and print out the foods to avoid versus the balanced foods. Stick to balanced foods. Don't eat to much lysine because too much can hurt you as well (too much acid in the body= harmful). Everything in moderation. Remember it is a nuisance virus.... that's it. There is nothing to be ashamed of many many many people are exposed daily! There are also over 99 different strains of herpes, so literally it is everywhere. Do I let this uncomplicated virus rule my roost.... NOPE, never! I laugh, dance, travel, hike, play, sail, and LIVE everyday! Basically, I live life to the fullest! Good luck in your endeavours! -Sail

Herpes actually is as opposed to an unfair, inaccurate stigma. Sure we all would have chosen not to get exposed, but that is no longer our reality so to survive and thrive you must adapt. I will post my regimen for you that works well for me. Good luck to you. - Sail

We are all a work in progress. Try and do some self esteem therapy. We are what we train our brains to think. Write ten positive adjectives about yourself. Post them on the bathroom mirror. Read them out loud to yourself every morning and every night until you become these things. To break negative feelings, do some image therapy. When your mind starts down that path, break your concentration by focusing on one thing in that room. Be present in that room with that object. Notice the details of the object. If it's a fascinating painting imagine yourself there in the landscape of the painting. If it's a tree imagine becoming the tree, growing roots deeper than any storm can break. Leaves beautiful and glistening in a light breeze. A tree that has scars, but is very beautiful with all of its imperfections. M8kingart@ can also help you with positive talks and motivational speeches that will correct your mindset. Remember that it all starts with you. The more negativity you bring into your life, the more that herpes will win and take over your body. There is a difference between thinking you need someone versus wanting someone. Be sure that you correct your mindset before returning to the dating market. You will attract what you project. Disclosing is scary, but the right person won't care if you have herpes. Look at it that way. I have been rejected, but I have also been accepted. Work on your self worth. Only then will you attract someone that is right for you. Also practice how to disclose in a neutral format, this will help you to relay what h

Ang, It is very easy to be very hard on ourselves for this. I too sway back and forth and have not had too many partners. You do need to forgive yourself for getting exposed. Herpes is an equal opportunity virus. There are many many more dangerous viruses to get exposed to. Herpes is just one that gets stigma attention because it is the "virus of love..." The sooner you can kick your own stigma about herpes, the sooner you will not project a negative stigma when you are with potential partners. If you are ashamed, you will project shame. As far as not disclosing before sleeping with someone..... that's no good. You owe it to your partner to be forthright. Your partners, if they are mature, will respect you more for disclosing. Now, they may not rush to have sex with you, but that's their right. Would you want to date someone that is afraid of a basic virus? I think not..... This virus also teaches you patience. You need to be able to depend on other skills other than intimacy to form a bond with someone. When the bond is formed, the right man for you will see past herpes. I never rush into an intimate relationship with a man. I always see i if he is H-? Do I even want to date him? Is he worth disclosing too? Is he worth going good on antivirals for? Is he relationship worthy? These are all questions that need to go through your head before even thinking about sex with the man you are with. Good luck girl, big hugs! We all understand exactly how you feel!

My first thought is you are assuming that he is clean? Don't beat yourself up over a doche and get tested. Let it go! Sorry you went through this bad experience. :(

You kinda have to simplify it. Herpew compared to most viruses is pretty benign. It is just because some Christian group demonized it that it has a bad wrap. They probably have it :) just never been checked. I understand the stance he took. We are still friends because we didn't take it to intimate. Now we hang out without the stress of pursuit. Still a great guy, just can't wrap his head around the herpes being a skin condition thing. ;)

Nuts are high in arginine. Not a coincidence. So is coffee, chocolate, sesame seeds and popcorn. Take extra lysine if you are going to take these foods. I get away with a small amount of chocolate and coffee in my diet but not much. You can also cut arginine with the lysine from milk. I usually have milk as the counter to coffee in the cup. I also have cut sugar to nominal amounts because sugar feeds herpes.

Hi I'm in Tucson, AZ. I got diagnosed about 8 months ago. I have pretty much have H2 to the point where I have been suppressing it naturally without the use of antivirals. Asymptomatic. I am a 35 yo f RN down here, so I have an in to all of the jargon. Feel free to reach out to me. Good luck! Tera :)

I appreciate your response. As for disclosing: Both times I disclosed before intimacy. With the first boyfriend, he didn't care about it at all. We broke it off for other reasons. With the second man, we had the discussion three dates in. He brought it up because he has HSV 1. He was shocked to learn that I have HSV2 mainly because other than a long term marriage, I have only had three partners. One being the H2 carrier who did not report his status to me.... The second man made the decision that he could not Handle my diagnosis, but we are still friends to this day. It is sad for me because I have never met a man that has more similarities in life to me than him. But honestly, I can't say that I blame him for passing. If given the choice, I would have passed on the careless man who exposed me to this virus. None of us want this for ourselves and I really really wish there was a cure too, but I am also wanting to live everyday to the fullest potential and not focus on this one part of me. I am sorry that you did love her. It really sucks that she only gave you conditional love. I guess this is why I disclose if it looks like the person wants to get intimate and have a relationship. It is easier to not have the emotional and intimate connection fully developed before you tell someone about this. I do hurt for your heart and Hope you start to feel better with time and healing. I agree that in true love it doesn't matter. Somewhere out there their is someone that is our Ying to our yang.... Be as emotional as you need to be to heal. Just don't date until your heart is healed from this blow.... get even again..... Ps: With each person I date and/or talk to I have learned so much about myself, who I am and who I want to be as a successful person. Each man has been a part of my growth as a better person..... Let this woman be the same for you....

Hi. I live in Tucson, AZ. If there is anyone on this site from Tucson let me know. It's good to have people that understand what we are going through as a community. Males or females welcome to contact me, I am a 35yo female, diagnosed with H2 within the last 8 months. I am actually in a really good place mentally with this and have learned to suppress it to the point of asymptomatic without meds. We could share and streamline methods. It would be nice to have someone locally. :)

Faithwhope..... listen...... There are certain people in this world that just aren`t equipped mentally to tolerate an STD. Along with the social stigma it takes a very special and intelligent person to see herpes for what it is, a nuisance virus. Here is my thought for you. You got way to emotionally connected to someone before getting her beliefs on very personal lifetime decisions... You must disclose prior to sex, intimacy and even kissing too much. Sex/ intimacy changes the chemicals in our frontal lobes. It affects our ability to critically think, which leads many to make poor decisigns in relationships. This is why most of us are even here..... We let our need for love outweigh that little voice in our head saying are you sure this person is clean and isn't lying to me.... How well do I really know this person? The biggest question... do I trust this person? You probably projected your non acceptance and disgust with having this virus onto her, which would completely freak anyone out. You have to learn to accept that you were exposed to a basic virus that 25% of the populous has. No one judges someone for having cold sores, yet it is the same exact virus in a different spot. You need to learn how to develop yourself enough as a person to not let herpes define you. It might be an unwelcome friend, but regardless it is here to stay. It also sounds like you focus way too much on being everything to one person. This can be interpreted as neediness. The only way to get rid of that habit is to develop yourself more. What do you like to do? What makes you happy as a person? Only when you truly accept yourself will the right person for you come into your life. Don't depend on a cure being found. Research is still years out from human clinical trials and please don't put your life on hold waiting for research. Celebrate everyday as if it were your last. Live in the present. Go to a therapist to iron out some of your issues. Start there and with time and a lot of hard work you will get there my H friend....... until you get over your own stigma and fear of rejection don't date.... it's just that simple. You will attract what you project.

My experience with lysine is a good one. I actually felt worse when I was on antivirals. I believe that eating a balanced diet and exercise as well as taking herbals/ vitamins including lysine has helped the H stay dormant in my body.

I think as medical professionals it is even harder to accept that we got exposed... I am an ICU RN and I often deal with this silently because I am surrounded by people who are in successful marriages and havent been exposed to anything. I also happen to be a widow at 35yo. My 1st boyfriend on the market about 8 months ago, after a long marriage, exposed me. I know it's hard to disclose, especially because we assume that we are alone in the battle, but we aren`t. I haven't been able to put my face on a herpes + sight either, but I am getting use to the idea of maybe dating a known carrier, so I can stay antiviral free. I completely control this virus by diet and exercise, yoga and a rock solid support system. I have had one OB in 8m so the thought of antivirals for the rest of my life scares me. I think it is indeed ourselves that hold us back from a herpes sight because that is public acceptance of our exposure. At least pyschologically speaking that is my hold up. There is no turning around after you come out ;). As a RN, you give me hope that there might be a like minded person out there for me. My immediate assumption is " oh, a doc will never accept this or me," You reminded me that H is an equal opportunity virus. People just don't talk about it. ;). Fear not fellow medical person, many many people have been exposed. Even maybe the women who are flirting with you. Take a chance, hold on to your integrity and follow your heart.

If you keep to a more whole food diet. Cut arginine products and take lysine, it is a good start. I tried to get rid of H once, trying a very rigorous program. It didn't work, but I learned how to force herpes into dormancy without antivirals. I pretty much have had 1 outbreak after being bad about food choice and that's it. Otherwise I am pretty much asymptomatic.. Name of the book is Herpes Cure, but I would not expect to cure it, but control it instead.

If it looks lIke you are headed towards a relationship, it is best to disclose. It is better to be elated or disappointed before you let it get any further. Make sure you disclose when both of you are clear minded and not getting intimate.