RegularGuy

Day 7 Update: I skipped a day because I was in a very negative place mentally and emotionally. A couple of speed bumps with work and not feeling too great about myself got me in a dark mood. I usually take my mind off stressful things by watching a good horror movie or two, so I did just that last night. It helped me get some sleep, but I was still down. I decided to get up really early today and get some extra work accomplished. Once I knocked out a couple of tasks, I felt better. My coworkers have noticed something isn't clicking for me like it used to. It's comforting that they are dialing back the pressure for me by picking up some slack, but it certainly can't stay this way. I know they view it as doing it for the good of the team, but I can't become a burden. Not that there is any realiatic reason to worry about it, but I want to keep my social status as a driving force, rather than an ass in a chair. Turns out this trip is perfectly timed. Thank Fing God! I'm healed up, I have my daily meds ready, and I feel ready for a change in scenery. Remember that you can be down about your bad luck. You can hate your situation. You can feel bad about yourself. But you can still strive for all of your goals, and in the process, regain the sense of identity finding out you are H+ takes away. Not everyone will experience it the same way I am. You may need more time to gather yourself up, or heal, or feel like you can pick up all of the burdens you used to carry. But it's not the end of your success and achievement.

Hey, that's some great news! Having a treatment plan has brought me a ton of peace of mind about the future. I really hope you keep getting good news and that this is all a matter of medication and adjusting diet slightly!

@HikingGirl Thank you so much for that! It was so well said, and extremely helpful! I know I have said I'm not here to be a burden and I'm not looking for a shoulder to cry on. But damn, what you wrote is a big deal to me! I didn't update today because I'm still feeling the same, though my anger has cooled a lot. I still feel conflicting emotions and they are very strong, but I am not breaking at the seams. Next time I update, I will have more to bring to the table than just self-loathing and hatred. That's not who I am, that's not the choices I make. To those who have or will read this thread looking for something to gain. Gain that you are not going to fall apart because of herpes. While things are different now, and you feel different than you did, you will never stop being who you are (unless you choose to, good or bad).

@ash2018 Thanks for the information! I will have to look up Ella Dawson. However, considering how definitely obviously I had a first outbreak. I am certain that I contracted herpes very recently. My titre count from my own blood test being low is most likely because it had only been a couple of days since I had contracted, and it will probably increase (however there is no need to blood test again aside from clinical curiosity). I'm actually more conflicted and more angry than I was when I first noticed the symptoms, or when I was diagnosed. I will move forward like I always have. Just angry for now.

Seeking a second opinion with a doctor of your choosing is a very common thing for patients with complicated issues. It would be completely reasonable for you to seek a doctor who might try cycling you onto different brands of antiviral medicine, or cycling you off to do further tests, like @HikingGirl said. However, it is known that antivirals (like many other medications) are somewhat taxing on the liver. Lots of factors effect a healthy liver and can make it unhealthy, especially medication and diet. The most common cause of liver problems while taking medication is alcohol consumption. Alcohol is very hard on the liver and when consumed while on a treatment plan of medication, can cause serious problems. If you tend to drink regularly, or occasionally have a few, take your elevated liver enzymes as fair warning to cut back or abstain. Life doesn't offer fair warnings very often, and your doctor probably wants to protect you from a potentially life threatening problem. Even if you don't drink, take your liver seriously. Good luck, and expect that any doctor you choose should be friendly, take the time to hear your concerns, and answer your questions completely. Patients are meant to walk away from a doctor's appointment feeling like they know the factors effecting them, and that the doctor has the ability to treat them.

Day 6 update: Alright, I have to admit to myself that this diagnosis could be a challenge in the future. I'm still on track with work, school, and the relationship. But before I was diagnosed, stress was my breakfast. Stress made me an unstoppable machine in the gym, on projects, with hobbies. I would wake up, remember all of the tasks I need to accomplish, remind myself that I'm awesome, then start making phone calls, purchasing gear, selling used items I didn't need, helping family and friends knock out there errands. I have always been a "not enough hours in the day" guy. At the end of the day, I'd generally be exhausted and drop into bed like a ton of bricks. But stress can cause health problems for a healthy person, let alone someone who is H+. I feel like I have lost an important part of my being. I fear that some day, probably soon, probably on this trip for work, that I will not be able to use stress to achieve. I'll face failure because I can't push myself in all ways like I could without triggering an outbreak. The day that happens, I will be more sad than I have in a long time. Aggressive, uncompromising, tenacious RegularGuy might just be in my past. I fear stagnation. I fear lack of achievement. I fear failure in the tasks I choose to take on. Will "Zen" RegularGuy stack up when the cards are on the table during this trip for work? I fear not. Do I risk pushing myself to extremes of lack of sleep, overwork, indomitable spirit, and insatiable hunger for achievement? Or do I let fear of an outbreak prevent me from feeling like I had laid down my best efforts? Valacyclovir, do your magic. Stress mode RegularGuy is going to need your help.

I'm sorry you have to go through the torrent of emotions and pain. I can assure you you are not alone. Your fears, shame, embarrassment, panic, and maybe even a sense of loss of identity are all familiar territory in the herpes positive community. Every one of us is here for mutual support. I cam tell you from (brief, but still profound) experience that it helps to run down the list of contacts in your phone and pick out the individuals who would never think less of you for contracting a disease. Give yourself permission to lean on those people as much as you need to. I talked to my Dad right away, and told him the news bluntly. Then I told him I needed to talk about anything unrelated for a while so I can calm down. He handled it really well and we talked about work for an hour or so. It helped a ton. I hope you have at least 1 person close to you that you can turn to. If not, hopefully the great community we have here can help. Another big source of relief and peace of mind to me was antiviral medicine. I got an initial prescription through a walk-in clinic, and it started working quickly to help heal me up. That got me in a much more secure state of mind, and even afforded me the ability to think about other things not related to herpes. Remember that you are still the same person you have always been! You can strive for the same goals, and still have the same tools you need to achieve them! If you want to get some one-on-one messaging started with people who want to help, you could post a message in the "looking for support" thread. It's a good place to have a candid conversation. And you might just find that someone else has experienced a lot of what you are dealing with, in addition to all of the common hardships that brought us all here.

I should clarify, I tested negative in the blood test for titre, which would mean I've probably just contracted the virus very recently. I am in fact H+ according to the culture test, which is very accurate.

Well, it sounds like he decided that he was going to stick with you, regardless of how difficult it was for him to find out at first. Proof that the diagnosis does not drive away people who genuinely care. Thanks for the update! I agree that you will probably need to talk to him, and especially listen to his explanation of his emotions and fears. It seems like initiating that conversation is probably up to you. I started it with, "I know you probably thought about leaving me because of this diagnosis. It means a lot that you chose to stay. Thanks for being there." Then I just waited until she gave herself permission to open up. It wasn't a negative conversation at all, and I think it helped me feel better about myself as much as it helped her feel like she wasn't doing harm by evaluating her options.

@ash2018 "The point is not to freak out over every slight thing that is off, but to take the time to learn *your* body. This will help you prevent transmission with future partners without living on edge 24/7" Totally right, and I completely botched what I was trying to say. Thanks for stepping in with that!

@dlacinda Good luck!! We are all rooting for your success!

Talk to your doctor about prevent accidental transmission to your husband and children. Talk to your husband about what is happening, and accept that he is going to experience powerful emotions when you tell him. Be prepared to hear the truth from him, and be prepared to be honest about things. You are in a difficult position and it will only ever get better when you open up and be honest with the people closest to you. Good luck, and remember that herpes doesn't make anyone a bad person. The choices you make moving forward become the person you will be. Choose to work toward climbing up and out of this difficult place. Know that on the other side of that dreaded conversation is comfort, positive self image, and love in one form or another eventually.

Day 5 update: Today is a good day! Most have been, despite finding out I was definitely H+ less than a week ago. Things are coming together for my business trip. My two mid term projects for college are turned in early. Finding out I have herpes truely has not stopped me from being myself! It's a problem. It's painful. It's depressing. But it hasn't stopped me from doing what I planned to and accomplishing goals. My girlfriend is still there, and still supportive. She finally got herself tested today. If her blood test is negative, great! If it's positive, at least I know I didn't transmit it to her (because I tested negative 4 days ago). That will be a conversation, but not an accusatory one. No matter what. Shit happens.

@optimist I couldn't agree more with what you said, "The only situation I avoid is disclosing when clothes are coming off because I feel like that would put someone on the spot." There is a whole brain chemistry thing that happens there, which makes it unfair. I'll explain that the best I can at the end of this comment if anyone cares to hear a man-splination. @dlacinda Text actually sounds like a good way to do it. It saves the other person the struggle of filtering their knee-jerk reactions, and also gives them time to do research on the spot. Could you update us on whether you do use text and how you go about it? I think that would be helpful to a lot of people. Man-splination of brain chemicals during the heat of the moment: Attraction produces a lot of feel good chemicals in the brain that have a really big impact on perspective and thought. Specifically, oxytocin. It causes people to feel assured, comfortable, loved, and secure. It also causes people to ignore risks they normally would avoid without much conflicting feelings about avoiding. Including evaluating the risk of transmission, and whether the person telling them risk is low has established trustworthiness. Especially with people who are attracted to each other, it is easy to use benefit of the doubt and physiology against each other. Get consent, informed, educated consent.

Your honesty and openness are really inspiring! Sorry you had a hard let down! That must have been difficult to take. Good on you for being straight with the people you choose to be intimate with! But rejection is a reality for a lot of people for a lot of reasons. Many people who are looking for a serious relationship have a specific image in their head of what their girlfriend/boyfriend should be like. Not many people fit that image in every way for a lot of people they date. Still, it is a challenge to feel good about yourself when someone rejects you, just about every time. As a person who has endured a lot of rejection even before I found out I am H+, despite my profound efforts to be desirable, I can assure you that your selfworth and your pride can't come from how many people reject you. Or equally importantly, how many people accept you. If anyone uses those as an evaluation of their worth as a human being, they are fated to be disappointed eventually, either by way of illness, injury or just aging. Remember that you are still the same great person you've always been! Your description of the conversation where your friend said those things about people who can't find a husband was really profound. Obviously, she is wrong. I'm 30 and when I was dating, I discovered that there were tons of women who wanted a relationship that lead to marriage and children, but hadn't found the right person. And while I felt like I was the right kind of person, with a great career, in great shape, etc... They still rejected me. Because they were looking for something I didn't have. Not their fault, not mine either. So your friend is wrong (obviously), but that isn't the point. Is it? It's the stigma. It's the fear. It's the feeling like loss of freedom and power you once had. But your best friend is important to you. If she has been there for you in tough times in the past, and you think she can handle it, tell her. But you'll have to decide for yourself. I hope you have people close to you that you can talk to about this stuff, get support from them if you can. Keep being who you are, keep doing the things you have always planned on doing. Most importantly, keep disclosing and remember that there are tons of people out there who will appreciate your honesty, and the fact that you gave them the choice to decide for themself! I hope you remember to let yourself enjoy good things that happen. Congratulate yourself for being who you are and the good things you accomplish. Let yourself lean on the people who care about you for as long as you need to, and look for opportunities to support them, too. That is a huge help in dealing with rejection, the acceptance and care for the people who are already important to you.

I know there are a lot of thoughts and emotions happening, even if it has been a couple of months since your out break. It's good to see that your post is regarding a constructive question. Obviously, this would be something to ask a doctor about, but I thought I'd offer what little I can, because nobody has responded to your concern yet. You are faced with 2 difficult obstacles regarding protecting others from transmission: 1. Shedding 2. Out Break Out Break: It should be apparent that any sore, blister, pimple, bump, cut, or nik should be considered a risk. What many people don't know is that an out break might not display those more obvious symptoms, and you could still be risking transmission. An out break can be swollen lymph nodes, itching (even occasional moment through out the day), pain, painful urination, or a whole host of other subtle symptoms. Risk of transmission is much higher during an out break, even a subtle one. Shedding: This is most likely to occur without symptoms when your immune system has not had enough time to get herpes under control. Early on, the virus can "shed" and transmit, even if you aren't going through an out break at all. This is more likely to happen with type 2, but HSV1 can shed as well. Talk to your doctor about the risk of transmission, particularly in reference to having been diagnosed 2 months ago. Apparently, (and I am no expert so don't take my word for it) you are likely to shed earlier on, but antiviral and condoms help reduce risk of transmission. As you know, the risk is never going to be zero. Because of this fact, it's important to be honest and upfront about having herpes with anyone you plan to get physical with well before getting intimate. Give that person you are attracted to the opportunity to make an informed decision and give you consent. Anyone worth your time will appreciate honesty, and will see that you are trying to be responsible. The person that convinced you of that small chance may not have done anything explicitly wrong, but now it's up to you to decide how you handle things from this day on. I personally didn't get any heads up. Maybe out of lack of a partner getting "that ingrown hair" checked out, or maybe out of fear of disclosing, or maybe they didn't want to give me a fair chance to make my own informed decision. I will likely never know. Bit I decided that I will be upfront and honest all the time, and get informed consent every time just like I did before I was H+. The only way to do that now is to say the words out loud, " I have herpes" surrounded by facts that don't detract from the hard truth that it is communicable. And take as much precaution as I reasonably can. Antiviral treatment, washing hands well, abstaining when in doubt. I know I don't want anyone to feel the fear, shock, and temporary loss of identity I went through. Especially not someone who likes me enough to be at risk of transmission.

Day 4 update: My girlfriend seems to be in as normal a state as I am by now. I'm really grateful for that! I recently learned it is common to feel a super strong attachment to the first person who accepts you, knowing you are H+. I will have to take a step back and make sure I am not putting her on a pedestal. That could ruin an otherwise happy relationship. Work and school are still hard to keep organized, with too much of my "mental workbemch" taken up by being concerned about herpes. I probably should have taken a few sick days so I could keep up with school, but I am also preparing to go on a business trip soon. I didn't want to make sacrifices of professional success on behalf of a stupid, shitty disease. I am responding to antiviral very well and my out break has been relatively tolerable, so another thing to be grateful for. Now that I am mostly healed and my immune system is getting the help of meds and a modest amount of vitamins, my "lizard brain" (the part that freaked the hell out when I realized I had herpes) should calm the F down already. I'm going to be proud when my mid term projects get graded highly and my business trip is a success, all while handling some bad news. My attitude of ::Come on body, be tougher:: From exercise has really helped me deal with my first herpes out break. I won't cling to false hopes that this is the last I've heard from herpes. I will cope. I will be RegularGuy. I will achieve what RegularGuy before H+ wanted to achieve. Annual Raise cap is still in my sights. Associate's degree is still within reach. Girlfriend is still on board for staying serious. It's not a bad hand to be delt at all. Grateful.

Day 3 update: I had been planning to tell my girlfriend I love her for probably 2 or 3 weeks now. Unfortunately, I had trouble finding a good time to do it. Then I found out I was having some strange symptoms and put the idea on pause. When I tested H+, I knew I couldn't tell her I loved her while also disclosing right away because it would seem like a desparate attempt to convince her to stay with me. So, I had to wait on it yet longer. Going through the emotions and being strong and supportive for her, just like she was doing for me. Finally, it felt like she had gotten enough time to think about it clearly, and decided to stick with me herself. I thanked her for being so good to me and for helping me deal. Then I finally got to tell her I love her! She knew I meant it, and knew it wasn't a ploy to convince her not to leave me. She knew because I had been so honest from the day we started talking, through noticing there might be a problem for me, when I was sure I had a problem, and when I was diagnosed. Honesty, yo. Honesty counts above all else. I got to tell my girlfriend I love her because I never hid anything from her. Especially when it might be a deal breaker for her, I told her everything right away. While it never crossed my mind to hide the problem when I was realizing what was wrong, I do realize I could have probably tried to hide it. And we talked about that fact. If I had tried to hide it, she would have known something was off. She would have asked, and it would have been devastating for her to find out that way. Or worse, that we had continued to have sex, or I had avoided it with clever excuses. If that had been the case, she definitely would have left me. She would have been heartbroken, and I would have never gotten to tell her I loved her in a way that she knew it was true. Honesty. Immediate, unfiltered honesty gave me the chance to tell her. And it gave me the chance to hear her say it, too. If you need a reason to disclose, there you go. You can be honest and happy, or sneaky and sad.

I was recently diagnosed and disclosed to my girlfriend immediately, even before I had a chance to get tested. I didn't wait and I'm really glad that I kept her informed about everything from the start. Honesty meant everything to her. Honesty is important to everyone, especially in relationships. Absolutely disclose before getting physical. But I don't think there will ever be a "good" time to bring it up. Generally, it's reasonable to have 2 or more dates before getting physical. I would think that whenever you would normally be inviting someone to your place is the only good time to have that conversation. In the past, I have always had the STD, genetic disorder, personality disorder conversation the moment I decided I want to bring someone home. It's always a very clinical conversation and certainly cools the passion, but it is necessary. Don't start it from the perspective that you are hiding anything, start it from the thought that it regards full consent. Consent should be priority number one all the time. Ask the question: Have you ever had an STD, ever been diagnosed with a genetic disorder, or a personality disorder? Let them answer as long as it takes for them to answer. Then be honest with them in your own answer. You might be surprised how many people think they are holding on to a deal breaker. However you do it, disclose! Subtle hints, or waiting until you have already made physical contact in amy romantic way isn't fair to the person you are seeing. Be honest, be fair, get consent. Those who are right for you will want to talk about it, learn about it and make their own decision.

There is a website that sells custom fit condoms. I've never tried their products, but they exist.

Second day update: The anti viral (valacyclovir) is working really well. Having a meal with the dose helps a lot to keep my blood pressure in a normal range. If you're curious about numbers: Normal = 110 to 120 over 60 or 70ish Dose without food = 157 over 90ish for about 45 min Dose with food = high 120s over 70ish That is a big difference, I highly recommend having a meal before you take meds. Things are still going well with my girlfriend! Woo! She has not been able to get tested yet, but hasn't shown symptoms.

@princess83 Congrats on one year! I've only been with my girlfriend for 3 months. We have really great communication, which I am really grateful. I'm sure your guy is mostly feeling empathy for you, if you can assure him that you're not going to become a sadness monster forever, he will get a lot of relief. Make it clear that you are going to keep being Princess83, and doing Princess83 things. You just need to adjust and recover. Try to spend more time talking about things that are positive and try to get some laughs in, if you can. That really helps ease tension when I talk to my girlfriend about H stuff. It's a lot of weight on your shoulders to both reassure yourself and your significant other, but that's just what it takes sometimes. Good luck!

That sounds really difficult! I'm sorry you are in pain! Are you working with a doctor on your treatment? It seems like you should talk to your primary care physician about each of your symptoms and find out if there are things you can do to get some relief. I'm clearly not a doctor, but it sounds like you could be having side effects of medication, dehydration, lots of stress exacerbating symptoms, or even some other illness worsening the outbreaks. Don't take my suggestions as fact in anyway, but definitely see your doctor!

@princess83 I'm also dating someone that has been with me for a while before my diagnosis. I talked to her about how our relationship has been the best I've ever had, but that I understand if she can't cope and decides to leave me. That opened the door for a long discussion about HSV, our thoughts and feelings, and gave her the chance to be honest about how she feels. Your boyfriend may be feeling similar things, but is concerned about hurting you, or "detracting from the difficulty of your situation", as my girlfriend put it. Tell him you care about him, and you appreciate him sticking around. Tell him you understand that he has probably considered leaving, and it means so much that he's been there for you. The important part between me and my girlfriend was that I told her I would understand if she left, I would be sad about it, but that I get why. Telling her that gave her the reassurance that I was tough enough to handle my bad news, while also letting her vent about her own feelings and emotions. It ended up being very little venting and a lot of constructive conversation about what HSV means and how we should handle it. I don't know that she will never change her mind, but it's been a few days since I first told her I might have a problem, and only 1 day since it was confirmed and I broke the bad news to her. What I do know is that being 100% honest about things has helped our relationship get pretty damn strong, and that her knowing none of the ideas she has, or feelings she has are taboo has helped her be open about how my diagnosis is effecting her. She was shocked, like I was. She was mad, like I was. She wanted to learn everything she could, like I did. She was conflicted about sharing the truth, like I was (though I never hesitated to tell people it might effect, or who I could trust to be supportive). She considered what the implications of leaving me or staying with me were, including eventually having children of her own, like I did. But so far, things are okay. We even had a good date tonight. And I think it's because I chose to trust her, and to be completely up front and honest. If that ends up getting me kicked to the curb, and years of loneliness and rejection, it will be because she decided I wasn't good enough. Avoiding talking about things wouldn't make me convince her I'm better than what I am, but it would likely convince her that she can't talk to me about her emotions because I'm too busy/fragile/sad/uncaring. Statistically, most relationships end due to poor communication. Open the door for him to admit that he had considered leaving, that he's shocked or even depressed. Don't try to dwell on it forever, but let it be said, and hear it.

I'm a 30 year old man who tested positive for HSV 1 and had my first outbreak genitally recently. I first had symptoms of a UTI, painful urination minutes after the last time my girlfriend and I had sex. I told her about it right away. 2 days later, the painful urination continued and blisters appeared on one side of the shaft of my penis. I flipped out for a few minutes, call ed my girlfriend to inform her and told her to get a test done for herself, then I left work to get tested. 4 days later, the results of the culture were positive. Today is the first day waking up knowing the bad news. I decided to keep being the great person I am, and not to trouble myself with how I contracted HSV. I'm fortunate that my girlfriend took everything about as well as anyone can, and that she is supportive. To be perfectly honest, before the test results came back, I considered suicide. Instead of dwelling on the idea, I called my Dad and told him I probably had HSV and needed him to talk to me about anything unrelated, like work. He was great about it and spent time discussing the particulars of our jobs. I felt so much better that I decided to catch up with my brother and my Mom, too. I told each of them, and let them know I don't want HSV to be the main point of discussion. By the time my test results came back, I wasn't in shambles about it. I called the 2 other people I had sex with in the past year or so and left voicemails telling them to get tested. Trust me, leaving those messages was easy once the voicemail beeped, and it made me feel better. Also, saying the words out loud (even for the first time) will not conjure up any bad karma, or break some innocent part of you. Yes, the thought crossed my mind that I never wanted to say the words out loud. If anything, it helped me get my self pity out of the way faster. Since then, I have had several conversations with my girlfriend about it, and we had a good date tonight. I feel shame and guilt for having HSV, despite never having cheated or slept around, ever. But I won't let it break me, and I won't let it ruin my ability to enjoy good things I have. If anything, I am yet more grateful for the positive things in life. While I'm still not sure if my girlfriend will want to stick around, 100% honesty has allowed her to keep her freedom to choose, and I think she appreciates that. I have told her I will understand if she gets mad about it, even mad at me, and wants to vent, or more likely, that she feels like I'm not worth the risk (however slight the statistics make it seem). So far, she has been nothing but caring and supportive. I am lucky as hell. I have a great career and am wrapping up some college classes next month to finish an associate's degree. HSV doesn't get to decide who I am. Please consider this: Always 100% disclose immediately, well before any contact with effected areas, regardless of outbreak status. I won't take away anyone's freedom to decide for themself, no matter the rationale. Someone took my choice away from me and it sucks, I won't be that person. There is no excuse, it's a matter of moral right and wrong. Consent matters, do not remove someone's ability to provide consent. This isn't just a skin condition, it makes people feel bad when they find out they contracted it, and it throws a hell of a curveball into their identity for a while. Please be a decent person and offer those who like you enough to be close with you the ability to choose. HSV doesn't make anyone a bad person. Diseases don't make demons. Taking away another person's right to consent makes demons. Thanks to those who read all of this TLDR content. Like everyone, it helps to write the story down where someone else might read it. What I'm not sure on: Is it possible that I also have HSV 1 orally and am asymptomatic, despite a pretty clear genital HSV 1 outbreak? Or would one outbreak tend to aggravate the other? For those who want to know what a knowledgeable doctor puts an otherwise healthy 30 year old male on as a treatment plan: What I'm doing now: Valacyclovir 1000mg x2 daily for 10 days. Then, 500mg x2 daily for 10. Then 500 x1 forever. Turns out I get high blood pressure from meds if I take it without food, so snacks are cool. Washing my hands like a surgeon every time I touch my junk to take a piss. Hand sanitizer, before and after meals, restroom, etc... Breaking the habit of touching my face at all, ever. Don't need an eye infection too. Pause on the gym until this outbreak clears fully. Vitamin C, Vitamin B complex. Not crazy high doses, just a multivitamin type thing. If you are recently diagnosed, see a primary care physician answer their questions and be honest with them. Then, listen to what they tell you, have them repeat themself if you need, or write stuff down. If you don't have insurance and are concerned about cost, find a doctor who will work with you. They aren't crooks, most doctors care and want to do good. What I'm going to do: Focus on goals and dreams I have always had. Show appreciation for the people I have told and their support. If my girlfriend leaves me: I won't get mad, she has the basic human right to decide. 100% disclosure immediately, well before contact with affected areas can happen. Yeah, that means lots of loneliness, rejection, and probably some sadness. If contemplation of suicide returns, or depression bears down: group therapy, counseling.