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First herpes talk with a new guy, so relieved!

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Hi guys! I remember visiting this forum for the first time not long after the break up with the boyfriend I had when I first discovered I had herpes. I felt miserable because of that break up but also I was very scared of how I would ever date someone again and tell them about my STD. So I read many many stories about the disclosures of other on this forum and it helped me to read about different experiences with the talk.


And now here I am! Half a year later, giggling and forgetting about the rest of the world when staring into the eyes of this guy I'm dating now. All very cute, and at some point dating turned into a sleepover. Sweaters and t-shirts were taken off but I really felt I had to tell him before going any further than that and this idea still really scared me. What if it was a total turn off? What if I didn't seem that amazing to him anymore with this information?


But I got myself together and started saying something like hey, I don't know how far we want to take this tonight and it's not like I would do anything unsafe, but... - at that point he looked at me like uhmmm yeah why are you telling me all this? - I thought it would be only fair to tell you that I picked up herpes some time in the past.


I think my heart skipped a beat at that point and I looked at him, unsure about how he would respond to that. He took a second or two, probably to realise what I had really just said. And then he was like okay, but I don't know that much about it, and he asked me for some short facts on the risks for him and what we should or shouldn't do. So I told him and then he said it was the right thing that i told him and he was totally fine with it! No issue at all, no turn off, just a short reasonable talk and then more kisses and more ;) I felt so relieved and so happy!! And a few days later he stayed the night again so he didn't change his mind eithe or anything :)


I hope this can give some confidence to those who are feeling the same way I did earlier this year. Don't worry too much, if you meet someone who like you, then he/she will appreciate the honestly and practical facts, and herpes will not ruin anything :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

yeah that was really helpful I appreciate you putting it out thereI just met a guy we are dating now for a couple of weeks and I was trying to find the right time to let him know.but i'mma give it some time but I'm very scared but I'm just going to take my time

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One of the good things about Herpes is it makes us slow down in the beginning of a new relationship. Get to know the person better. "Vet" them more before we disclose. So take your time... disclose when you are ready...when he has earned the right to know ;)


In the meantime..here are a bunch of links of the most recent successful disclosure stories on here... perhaps they will help you to feel better about the whole thing when the time comes :)



http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2445/my-success-story simplyme24

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2495/a-coming-out-story- DanieM

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2544/disclosure silentstandoff

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1644/having-the-herpes-talk-with-a-new-partner Daisy

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2689/first-time-disclosing-herpes-and-very-very-nervous paleogardenerkika

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2789/about-to-have-the-herpes-talk Empowered 74

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2833/this-was-a-first kitcattat

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2892/first-disclosing-talk-with-a-new-guy-so-relieved Figuringthisou



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  • 1 month later...

I love this story! I'm in the processes of working up some hypothetical balls to tell my boyfriend. Still trying to figure out how to broach the subject.... it just seems like theres never really.... a good time to do it. Your story makes me hopeful!

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