day 2 of my first herpes outbreak

[cannabanana2]

i'm 17 years old. just a normal teenage girl up until april 16th, 2014.

its been two days since i was diagnosed.

i'm in so much pain. the hospital said this is the worst outbreak they've seen all year. and on top of having my first outbreak, i'm also experiencing my first UTI. apparently the UTI is what triggered my first outbreak.

i've spent my entire spring break laying in bed unable to move. in and out of the hospital. my girlfriend (yes, i'm a lesbiain) has had to practically carry me to the bathroom, and it hurts so bad to pee that i scream at the top of my lungs.

i don't know how i got it, everyone i've been with said they were clean.

i don't know anything about this disease. besides the fact that it doesn't have a legit cure, so i'm stuck with it.

is it fatal?

will i never be able to touch my girlfriend ever again?

will i have to tell my school nurse?

will gym class hurt while i have an outbreak?

will people look at me different?

how long will this outbreak last?

will every outbreak be this unbearable?

should i change my sheets after the outbreak? i'm at like the oozing stage where it gets all over my underwear, pants, and bed.

why is it so bloody?

should i be this afraid?

i feel like my life is over. please help.

[cannabanana2]

another question-

should i avoid public restrooms? i don't wanna risk spreading it to anyone

[mr_hopp]

Hi there and welcome to the community!

 

Oh, big hug to you! Take a deep breath. I'm about to drop some much-needed knowledge on you so you can feel muuuch better pretty immediately.

 

Ready?

 

The majority of the worries you're asking about are totally and completely bogus ... an unfortunate product of the fear that comes from the herpes stigma that seems to pervade our society. The most important thing for you to do right now is educate yourself. The more you replace the worries, confusion, worst-case scenarios, paranoia with actual facts and knowledge, the more the burden of your own imagination can be lifted.

 

Herpes is not fatal.

It cannot be spread via toilet seats. Only skin-to-skin contact.

You don't have to tell anyone other than the people you choose to be intimate with.

And people may think they're "clean" (which is such a stigmatized way to put it ... we aren't "dirty" ... we just carry a virus) when they actually carry the herpes virus. 80% of people who have herpes don't know they have it. STD tests don't by default include testing for herpes.

 

Disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

Read these handouts for the foundational facts and figures:

http://bit.ly/h-opp-diagnosis-handout

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

 

FAQs:

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1758/frequently-asked-questions-on-herpes-and-popular-conversations/p1

 

This is a very comprehensive interview we had with a top herpes doctor:

http://herpeslife.com/doctor-answers-questions-about-genital-herpes-hsv-and-hpv/

 

Here are some other links that will answer all the questions you posed:

http://herpeslife.com/how-can-you-get-herpes/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-outbreak/

http://herpeslife.com/keeping-your-partner-herpes-free-can-be-super-sexy/

http://herpeslife.com/the-stigma-of-herpes-can-be-worse-than-the-virus-itself/

http://herpeslife.com/genital-herpes-symptoms

http://herpeslife.com/i-have-herpes-and-the-power-of-acceptance/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-cure/

http://herpeslife.com/first-herpes-outbreak

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-healing-process-the-5-stages/

http://herpeslife.com/4-things-you-can-say-to-yourself-right-now-to-begin-to-heal-your-negative-association-with-herpes/

http://herpeslife.com/no-one-will-love-me-since-i-have-herpes-and-other-fascinating-untruths-we-tell-ourselves/

[WCSDancer2010]

@cannabanana2

 

First - welcome... and as someone who got H at 17 (and I'm now 52) let me reassure you your life will get back to normal. Sorry you had such a rough introduction to it but do know you are not alone.

 

Do you know if it's HSV1 or 2? There's a good chance you got it from someone with a cold sore who did oral on you and doesn't know that they can spread it to a person's genitals esp if they are having an outbreak at the time.

 

Will people look at you different? *Grin* ... only if you tell everyone.... and then only the jerks and assholes will be the ones to "look at you different". Anyone who cares for you and is a decent person will know that it doesn't define you.

 

should i change my sheets after the outbreak? i'm at like the oozing stage where it gets all over my underwear, pants, and bed.

 

Might not be a bad idea... just for cleanliness sakes :)

 

why is it so bloody?

 

Herpes is not normally bloody... are you sure it's not the UTI causing that? If it is, it's because your sores are really, really bad... hopefully that will clear up soon. And BTW, pee in the shower or pour cool water over you as you pee - that will help to lessen the stinging a lot ;)

 

And yes, you CAN touch your girlfriend. You don't have Leprosy, you have Herpes. Yes you will want to take precautions... read all the stuff Adrial gave you first... you won't want to get intimate for awhile with the OB that you are having so use this time to get educated and then come back with whatever questions you may have ...

 

(((HUGS))) - I know it may not feel like you will ever be "normal" again, but you will. We're here for you .....

 

[cannabanana2]

@Adrial, thank you.. I'm so scared

@WCSDancer2010 The sores are what's bleeding. They're really bad.

[mr_hopp]

Ouch. That sounds painful. I'm sorry you're going through that. Since we can't see it, we can't really help you in the specifics on how to take care of it. If it is that bad and you're worried, there's no shame in going to see your doctor and get in-person medical advice. And know that the first herpes outbreak is the worst for most people. Your body is already as we speak building up antibodies to make sure future outbreaks are much less severe/painful. For now, continue to take care of yourself and look into the treatment section for ways to help reduce the pain you're in now. You can make it through this.

 

Here's the link again for you to read through different ways others have handled reducing the pain of their outbreaks:

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/

[willow]

Hey i know how u feel! Im going thru my first ob as well, im sorry to hear ur ob is so painfull! I spoke to a nurse via phone, she was very helpfull, told me to take a luke warm bath with epsom salt, im from canada bc, but this is the numbrr i called, supportive, informative, anonamous!1 800-739-7367

[ClementineK]

Gurl, I'm so sorry this OB is so painful for you. One thing that I don't think has been mentioned so far is that you can pee in the bathtub. My first OB was pretty painful (although it doesn't sound as bad as yours), and I pretty much lived for doing that. If it's an emergency, just fill the tub up until the water surrounds your lady parts and then let 'er rip and get out.

 

If you've got some time, fill the tub and soak in some Epsom salts (like willow said). I know at Target they sell some with various essential oils infused (I've used the lavender kind). With my last OB, I sort of experimented with dissolving them closer to the infected area, but I think that might hurt for you, so just keep that in mind for next time.

 

Also, once you get out of the tub/shower, take a blow-dryer with the cool setting and blow yourself dry. The sooner those bad boys scab up, the better. And @WCSDancer2010 has mentioned on numerous occasions that going commando helps too. I concur, just make sure whatever you're wearing as the outer layer isn't too tight. Skirts = fabulous, yoga pants = pain and disaster.

 

Finally, I've heard of some people on here getting topical creams for pain prescribed by their doctor. Talk to your doctor about this and see if this is for you.

 

Keep your chin up, love, it WILL go away soon. I've found that if there is any silver lining to this, it is that 3-year old me would be very impressed that she was not only allowed, but encouraged, to pee in the bathtub.

 

 

<3

[cannabanana2]

Thank you so much guys, It's been a couple more days, the UTI seems for the most part gone, there isn't nearly as much pain. I was just prescribed liquid lidocaine stuff to put on it yesterday as a pain killer. I started soaking in hot baths with epsom salt, I pour the salt right in between my legs and let it dissolve and it felt so relaxing. This whole having herpes thing had been taking a huge toll on my self esteem though:/

[YoungAndReceptive]

I'm so sorry to hear about the severity of your OB, esp at such a young age. I just had my first OB a month ago with a simultaneous UTI and yeast infection too. I peed pouring water on myself every time, and that is so helpful if you haven't tried that. I HIGHLY recommend that. Just keep a cup of water next yo your toilet for the next few days, it's a life saver. Take epsom salt baths frequently. I did at least 3X a day for 30 minutes each. I would suggest you take more with a longer duration since mine was not as severe as yours sounds. I'm so sorry!

 

I am a nutrition-dietetics student in school so I always think nutrition is so important! During this hard time and from now on you should be more mindful of your nutritional decisions if you aren't already. Certain foods are known to help with OB and hurt with OB. Eggs, turkey chicken, avocado, yogurt, ricotta cheese, veggies, and fruits are all good choices. Steer clear from citrus fruits, sweets, nuts, nut butters, seeds, milk, pork anything processed. Focus on all natural healthy proteins and carbs. It is important to have sufficient stores, of the amino acid lysine, especially with herpes so taking a lyseine supplement would be wise.

Don't forget to drink water, even though peeing is miserable !

 

If the pain isn't shaking I would even ask your doctor for an oral pain killer. I asked the dr from the ER and then when those ran out my I asked my gynecologist to prescribe more. So if your dr is willing to give you the prescription that would definitely help and you would get through these painful days a lot easier.

 

The painkillers and pouring the cup of water on myself while peeing, I feel were the only things that helped me get through the pain, so I hope it will help you.

 

Again, I'm sorry this happened to you sweetie, but everything will be ok in the end. It will be a rough couple of days but take care of yourself and try not stress out too much. This community is a great online support group, and there are other support sources you can find offline as well.

Your life is not over, your life is not ruined. Your life is only different. Herpes is something manageable, we just have to adjust. It's hard emotionally and physically now, but the worst will soon be over. In fact the worst is over. Try to stay positive and keep things in perspective. You'll have good days and bad days, and when you are in a bad day come on here and let it all out.

 

I hope you feel better soon.

 

[WCSDancer2010]

Good advice on the foods but do keep in mind that some people can eat all the "bad" stuff and NEVER have an OB - so a lot will be trial and error as you learn to manage how your body deals with the virus. I'm guessing that some people either process or store lysine better than others or consume more than most naturally and thus get away with more of the "bad" foods. And my food triggers have changed several times now... at present, I can eat everything on the list and I'm fine ;)

[NexisLexis]

I am having my second out break and it hurts like crazy. So your not alone in this. My sores are weeping yellowish pus which I hope is a sign of healing. Everything that everyone has advise is tried and true except when I did a sitz bath I think I used too much Epsom salts. What I learned this week is Tucks Medicated wipes. They are awesome they clean freshen and dry up the sores. Also preparation h makes a cooling gel that you could also apply. My husband did a lot of research In how to lesson the pain. Do not use BENZOCAINE! ! Burn screaming burn !

Also just to make you laugh that cooling gel works wonders on the face bye bye wrinkles.

Also I have learned if you can find it in your area is liquid Witchhazel find the alcohol-free variety it soothes and cools down the swelling and helps with the drying out. I have heard online where people have used Abreva but it is too expensive. Vicoden tablets for pain or 4 Aleve to help. Get some lidocaine from dr. To numb it down their. Its a Rx's works and I swear my life on it.

I hope this helps

 

NEXIS lexis