10 ways you are making your life harder than it has to be

[WCSDancer2010]

http://thoughtcatalog.com/tim-hoch/2014/06/10-ways-youre-making-your-life-harder-than-it-has-to-be/

 

Every day I see posts with at least one, often several, of the points made here....

 

Ascribing Intent: He HAD to have known he had it (Uh - no .... not always... 80% don't know they have H)

 

Impending Apocalypse : My life as I know it is OVER and noone will love me (See Success Stories to who how many have found love on here who thought this at one point or other)

 

Expectations: Why isn't he/she supporting me *the way I want/need to be supported* (maybe because he/she can't???)

 

etc etc etc

 

This is a great read for us all ... H+ or not.... because I think it's safe to say we ALL practice at least a few of these habits in one way or another ..

 

Peace out....

[Helzbelz88]

Had been feeling a lack in general motivation the last couple of days

 

Read this this morning and it really helped

 

:)

[WCSDancer2010]

The older I get the more I realize that we humans are very skilled at self sabotaging and getting in our own way. Our advanced "thinking brain" is very adept at turning everything we experience into a story... usually with a negative spin on it ... rather than just accepting what has happened and moving on.

 

Perhaps if this really spoke to you, you may want to print it out and pin it somewhere where you can be reminded often to take note of the points and see where they fit in your life ;)

[Orngpeelmafia]

I needed this too :) thank you <3

[willow]

Insightful!!

[WCSDancer2010]

Bumping a few conversations to the top that folks might like

[2Legit2Quit]

Great article... I'm definitely guilty of the first few. Number 1 is probably my biggest problem.

[chikitta13]

I recently read somewhere that expectations are pre-determined resentments. I've been keeping that thought with me a lot. Not that I think we can't expect anything out of others. Just that we need to be realistic about it or we are setting ourselves up to be unhappy and pissed off.

[WCSDancer2010]

I used to have a great link to a blog about Attachment - which is in the same family as the expectations ... sadly the page seems to have disappeared. Essentially it said that we are attached to EVERYTHING.

 

You get a new car, you are attached to/expect it to stay "perfect" .. and the first time it gets scratched, you go ape-shit. Reality is, it's going to likely get dinged and scratched. And it doesn't make any difference to how it runs, but so many get so upset when this happens.

 

Every time you get mad or frustrated, stop and see if you can see what you are "attached" to. If you are using/thinking the word "should" THAT is what you are attached to:

 

That guy SHOULD be driving faster/slower

That person shouldn't be late

I should be better at this

etc.

 

Rather than expect people to be a certain way, hows about you try to accept them EXACTLY as they are. Now, if you are the boss, you have the responsibility to the company to ensure they do their job. So you can make it clear to the person what those expectations within the company are... as well as the consequences if they don't comply. BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ATTACHED TO THEM COMPLYING! They either comply, and everyone is happy, or they don't and they get fired.

 

You can't control others - so don't try. What you CAN do is make sure they understand (in a loving way) what YOUR boundaries are, and if they cross them too many times, you may need to CHOOSE to distance yourself. Why surround yourself with people who don't support, nourish, and feed your soul? Doesn't mean you completely cut them off if you love them enough to not want that - but it's up to YOU to create the healthy space for yourself... because otherwise they do what they do and then YOU get mad at them AND yourself for tolerating it.... LOL

 

It's a simple principle - but it's not easy to carry out at first --- but like any muscle, it gets easier with time :)