Telling everyone I have HSV2

[sleepless]

I am apart of a really tightly knit family and I didn't have any issues with telling them. My mom knew (she has since passed) my sister knows, bro-in-law and all my cousins. I haven't told my aunts/uncles and don't really feel like it's a big enough deal for them to know lol I basically told the people I am extremely close to. I have also told a few of my close friends. I think it all boils down to is who you trust. I know that my family/friends love me enough to not think anything less of me, and wish nothing but the best for me.

 

@Bengee I'm really sorry that you have had to go through what you've been through with having h. I hope that with the support of this group you're able to go out there and meet a beautiful person who won't judge you for what you have and will see you as the person you are. Please don't ever limit yourself because of a treatable skin condition.

 

@JessikaRabbit89 I'm glad that you are trying to reach out to people and educate them. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there. I commend you for the courage you have, I on the other had was not so courageous in putting myself out there. It took me a long time to come to terms with myself, but then I realized I don't feel any different, I don't love any differently, and I don't think any differently than I used to, other than disclosing to someone what I have before getting into an intimate relationship with someone. Most importantly I love myself and my life too much to let something like herpes define who I am!

 

@Adrial thank you again for creating (h)opportunity and for bringing us together for advice, friendship, and support!

[ShaeShae]

Hearing about the amazing feedback you've received. . . Makes me want to do this too. Come out publicly. I feel it could truly empower me in many ways to heal and love myself again, with the support of my friends and family by my side. Because how can they support me if they do not know? I feel like, in the small community that I live in, it could help since there are no local resources for us H+ folks here. I can learn more about self acceptance and self love by contacting other local people like me. My new counselor even encouraged me to do so at our session this morning. If you don't mind, @JessikaRabbit89, I would love if I could borrow some of your words to compose a post of my own?

[WCSDancer2010]

@ShaeShae

 

I love that you are feeling empowered to come out as well! I wish that everyone could just do this because it would totally change the ignorance and the stigma over night. But given some of your past posts, I am a *little* concerned ... because if you are in a place where other peoples *possible* negativity might upset you, you need to wait until you are in a place of compete acceptance of the situation to a point where you totally get that any negativity is a reflection of the other person, and not of you.

 

Please go back and read all of @Adrials and my responses on here, and read my discussion about me coming out (I did the same thing this time last year and had the same result... you can see what I posted on FB in that link as well for ideas .. and you can borrow anything from mine as well if you go through with this) and the Ted talk I posted.

 

As Adrial said, if you feel really good about this, do it. But let me add, you also need to feel very confident in your ability to deal with the ignorant and uninformed *IF* they respond to the post. I think that if you are really confident it will come out in your posting and THAT goes a long way to stopping the jerks from responding.

 

If you need help/support to do this, I'm 100% behind you .... being your fully authentic self can be amazingly empowering.

 

Love this quote:

 

“There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a person being themselves. Imagine going through your day being unapologetically you.”

― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

 

(((HUGS)))

[WCSDancer2010]

This soooo speaks to me right now.... with all this authenticity coming out on our forums....

 

“Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'

 

'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit.

 

'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.'

 

'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?'

 

'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”

― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

[ShaeShae]

You are absolutely correct @WCSDancer2010, I am not emotionally stable enough to break out publicly yet. But I searched and searched and finally found a counselor that accepts my health insurance! We met today for my first consultation. We talked mostly about H, and my current feelings about it, and my goals of where I want to be. His compassion and humanity toward me was so comforting. Our plan by the end of this session is for him to challenge me. To challenge my misconceptions of myself and challenge me to fight back for what I deserve. I meet with him again in a month to further discuss a game plan as far as coming out to my friends and other family. I want to find my self love again, to break out of this shame I have carried. I want to feel alive again!

[WCSDancer2010]

That's awesome! Set yourself a goal and work towards it. So glad you have a counselor who will work with you and challenge you!!!

 

And print that Velveteen Rabbit post and put in on your mirror.... it basically says everything I said in a very beautiful way

 

"once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”

 

(((HUGS)))

[JessikaRabbit89]

Thank you @whitedaisy and @sleepless, I really appreciate it, and absolutely @shaeshae by all means!! :) I wish you the best on your journey my prayers are with you and if you ever need to talk, I'm here.

[PositivelyBeautiful]

"One of the most commonly overlooked spiritual practices is daring to be completely honest with everyone you encounter. Some may say others cannot handle their honesty, but true honesty is not a strategy or a weapon of any kind. It is the willingness to be open and absolutely transparent in sharing how any moment feels in your heart. It has nothing to do with confrontation, accusation, or any form of blame. True honesty is the willingness to stand completely exposed, allowing the world to do what it may, and say what it will, only so you may know who you are – beyond all ideas."

[JessikaRabbit89]

I just copied and pasted that on my FB :) lol

[rainyfeather]

http://digital.library.upenn.edu/women/williams/rabbit/rabbit.html

 

[rainyfeather]

Great thread @JessickaRabbit89. Stay happy.

[JessikaRabbit89]

@inka you can do it!!! Its all about believing in yourself and staying positive!! :) and @rainyfeather that story was beautiful. Made me abit teary I loved the ending. Thank you for that, it made my night <3

[Rj17]

I jumped on the bandwagon...told a bunch of friends and family about my story this weekend. Reactions were classic. ha! Being a guy I was not too worried about what my guy friends would say. Most of them just shook their heads and laughed which I expected, they did not care. 90 seconds of wtf happened and we moved on. I got one "holy shit welcome to the club I never told anyone" which was entertaining.

 

The reactions from my women friends was more surprising. I was not really sure what to expect. I got a few pity looks and longer talks but they all were fine. Even got a "who cares I'll date you" which made my day.

 

I was so nervous to tell people but the overall reaction was that sucks, who cares, why are you worried. Maybe a few more pity looks then I wanted but that was it. Got a lot of free beers out of the deal so it all turned out pretty easy. Most were more concerned that I was saying something, like wow that really must really be weighing on you if you said something not like you. Felt good, needed to tell someone I guess.....now on to the dating talks...that is the next fun one.

 

Thanks for the idea. Was awkward as hell but for me personally it was better than keeping it in.

[WCSDancer2010]

@Rj17

 

I LOVE this! An outbreak of Authenticity, Transparency, and owning our Power! What if this became an epidemic? Imagine the death of the Herpes Stigma thanks to a wave of people who just decide they have had enough.

 

And don't worry about the "pity looks" ... odds are they are terribly under-informed and they just don't know the truth, so they have their pre-conceived notions of what it means to have H. Over time, you can educate them (I am educating my friends all the time!) and in the end, I expect they will thank you. Perhaps you can print out the handouts and have them ready to give to anyone who suddenly realizes they need a little educating ;)

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

(((HUGS)))

[JessikaRabbit89]

This is so awesome. I am so happy to hear everyone's success stories on coming out. Can you imagine how life would've been had you not told anyone? Living with constant fear of anyone finding out, living in shame, living with regret, living in the shadows. That would be no life at all.

[WCSDancer2010]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

So.Much.This!!!!!

[Rj17]

".. odds are they are terribly under-informed and they just don't know the truth"

 

Yeah that was a funny part. I caught myself correcting them and thinking wow how do you not know this....Oh wait I had no idea a few months ago either :).

 

[forgivenessandpeace]

"I can feel my spirit urging me to share this each day"

 

THANK YOU for following that call @JessikaRabbit89. What courage! What an inspiration you are, thank you!