genital herpes hsv-1 questions looking for answers thx

[2Legit2Quit]

Ok, so for me, I had many symptoms and non-stop paresthesia like 20-30xs a day, the first 7 months. After every two months, the location of the paresthesia and obs would change. So at the 5-6 marker (because that's when things really changed and localized spots didn't have strange sensations anymore and suddenly chose another area), I decided to start journaling it. Well, using my memo on my phone. I would do it in bullets.

- location and type of sensation and number of times that day I felt it

- location of an OB if present and what I did that could have possibly triggered it.

 

This helped me to learn my body greatly. There was no more mistaking my symptoms for me.

 

I learned stress and lack of sleep are big triggers for me, but not necessarily that would cause an OB, but rather a lot more paresthesia. I have learned that liquor after 4 drinks, will actually make me have a couple of bumps, w no warning.

 

I think I am more aware of the sensations for one reason mainly, bwcati work from home. I have noticed that while working or watching TV at home, I notice the sensations more, but when I'm out and about doing stuff, I really never have them.. It's weird

 

We all go through this fear of touching ourslevws. I was ridiculous a good it washing my hands and when my symptoms were extremely frequent z such as itching, I feared I would itch myself in my sleep and then touch my face.. So I actually went as far as teaching myself to use my left hand for that, because it was not automatic like the right hand is for those of who are right handed. You will get over this phase. We all tns to treat ourselves like we are diseased leper's in the beginning. Be patient grasshopper. Lol

[mp9999]

Geesus. I'm lost for words.

[2Legit2Quit]

I'm the exception to the rule, not the rule. Lol

[WCSDancer2010]

Remember that 80% of people never have any (recognizable, at least) symptoms ...

 

Of the other 20%, it can range from one outbreak that sends them for the diagnosis, and then nothing ever again. Some of us have varying levels/frequencies of OB's for the rest of our lives (often depending on stress/health/hormonal factors). And a very small number have ongoing, long term symptoms ... *usually* those people immunocompromised in some way or other (auto-immune issues, on drugs that suppress immune function, or just really sick in some way or other).

 

This is why we can't tell people *how* or *when* their OB's will act/end/whatever ... and 2legit has other factors that are affecting how her body is dealing with this ... so as she says, she's the exception, not the rule ;)

[mp9999]

Thx for the info. Stressful time for sure

[mp9999]

i'd like to thank u guys again for the comments so far. i keep finding myself back on this site. wanting to know more, wanting to know that things are gonna be ok. i have the herpes thing on my mind all the time. its in my dreams , i have negative thoughts running around in my head. i've tried talking to other people about it, but no one really knows what to say. and i know they just feel bad for me , and it adds to the sadness that i already have. in my head i've always had this fairytale life i thought was gonna come true someday, and i feel like this has taken that away from me. but i'm 32 and there hasnt been any fairy tale so far! ha, so i'm most likely being very unrealistic. i just read some words on here that really were just like how my life was before. i always had lots of problems before this, the whole self esteem thing and everything that has to go with those issues really make it seem like life is over, like no one is going to except me. i've always been the type to worry about the past and the future, and worry about everything i cannot change. the people i've talked to i don't get any feelings of hope or love and anything positive. that's why i keep ending up back here. i'm really glad this site has been here. i realize that someone gave this to all of us. while we are all looking for love, get a life long disease. but still on the same quest as before.. only things gonna be rougher now. just want a piece of happiness at some point!

[2Legit2Quit]

@mp9999. May I ask you to list the things that H has changed for you in your life and how it impacts you from living a life pre H?

 

If you haven't read my post about keeping H in perspective, please do... Sometimes when we get caught in our little bubble of self loathing, we tend to exaggerate reality... It is normal to go through a grieving process. Listen, I grew up a very hard childhood and life. Things that have happened to me and I've been through, the average person NEVER has.. If I can come to a place of peace so can you. Of course I have my weak moments, but I also recognize that unless I'm living in the moment, rather than the future of what we think coukd or couldn't happen, H is a non-motherfucking factor.. Period. It really is that simple. Stop thinking of the future you are creating in your head of what hasn't happened and has only been created from fear and hurt. It is a figment of your imagination. Today at this very moment and the rest of the day in front of you, tell me why in those hrs herpes ruins your life? If you live in the future you have not seen yet and create what it will be, you will create a self-fullfilling prophecy. Do not project negativity into your future; .... Remember.....for which you fear, you will create.

 

https://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/7058/keeping-h-in-perspective#latest

[TryingtoReach_Peace]

Hi mp999, You're right i was looking for love and ended up with herpes. I don't really think herpes is what is taking away my happiness, i think i was unhappy long before herpes appear. I know, we're scared, I take my mirror everyday and inspect to see if i'm healing, is that just a bump from shaving or more, is that a patch on my butt or am i just legitimately having dry skin. It's ok, i know that one day i won't be constantly eyeing my nether region. It's normal. It's not a disease society smiles upon...but it's also common, and so many have it...it just means we have to be more responsible than the average joe.

 

Yeah, even the most loving friend doesn't get it. I've realized that. It's tough, but hey, they love you, and they just are people too. I had this phase where i just wanted to tell them herpes facts lol. They just kind of brushed it off, didn't listen and told me to take my meds and always use condoms for the rest of my life. I realized then...they didn't know, it wasn't really their problem, so they didn't really have the urge to 'know'. I think it's good to come here, the people understand the ups and downs. No one bashes you, pities you, or lets you wallow in sadness (which is great lol). Happiness, will be back for you. Fairy tales are beautiful, but the best story is your own, and you overcame and still are happy, healthy, healing, and able to love and receive love. Good luck, to both of us :). )))))HUG(((((((

[WCSDancer2010]

in my head i've always had this fairytale life i thought was gonna come true someday, and i feel like this has taken that away from me. but i'm 32 and there hasnt been any fairy tale so far! ha, so i'm most likely being very unrealistic.

 

Disney has certainly got a lot to answer for on the whole "fairytale" thing... I read a great book once about men called "There is no Prince" ... and it really brings it home how much we buy into finding the "perfect" partner,and living the "perfect" life, where the actually is nothing of the sort!

 

i just read some words on here that really were just like how my life was before. i always had lots of problems before this, the whole self esteem thing and everything that has to go with those issues really make it seem like life is over, like no one is going to except me. i've always been the type to worry about the past and the future, and worry about everything i cannot change. the people i've talked to i don't get any feelings of hope or love and anything positive. that's why i keep ending up back here. i'm really glad this site has been here. i realize that someone gave this to all of us. while we are all looking for love, get a life long disease. but still on the same quest as before.. only things gonna be rougher now. just want a piece of happiness at some point!

 

Well, your friends haven't experienced this so how can they really understand? Sure, they may be empathetic, but the reason Forums exist is to connect people who are on the same journey, who have the same beliefs, or who have the same interests.

 

It's really easy to feel alone when it comes to dealing with something that isn't considered "normal" in your group/culture. I dated a guy once who had a shoe fetish....(not something I'm into, but I DID learn to walk in heels thanks to him!) ... he told me that for many years he felt like a freak until he found a group on the internet... and realized he wasn't alone in this. Until then he has a LOT of self-loathing and fear of what it all "meant" ... after finding he was not at all alone, he was able to accept that part of himself.

 

And as an aside, imagine what it was like for him to disclose THAT to me! Disclosure is not just about an STD ... there are TONS of things out there that people fear will make other "judge" them .... many, many "closets" remain shut because the person feels that to crack that door open would make people leave them or not love them any more.

 

Sure - we we looking for love and "got a life long disease" ... but I get in a car every day and I risk injury or death every time I do that. A well lived life assumes risk. And every once in awhile the odds go against us. Shit happens. What shows the mettle of a person is how they respond to it ... you can CHOOSE to use this as a place to grow and become a better person, or curl up and become a victim and blame everything that goes "wrong" in your life in the future on a crappy little virus that occasionally causes a skin condition in a really inconvenient place. It's up to YOU to do the work that this is giving you the Opportunity to do that will help you to find peace and happiness in your future :)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

[whitedaisies]

It will get better. It's wonderful you are recognizing other things so early on in your diagnosis that have triggered some issues with you before like self esteem Etc. so awesome you could be so honest with yourself. Use that to help heal you u other ways. Work on those issues and once the symptoms settle and you becom comfortable again, your heart and mind will be in a good place too....perfect timing to start to love someone again.

 

Good luck xo

[mp9999]

2 legit, I guess the only thing it has changed is of course the symptoms, it's been almost 3 months and the end of my dick is still red. The skin doesn't look like it used to,

So everyday when I see it , I get upset. and it makes me think of the whole situation which brings on a bunch of mixed emotions and anger, so I'm living that everyday, which obviously never used to be the case... But besides that, I'm still waking up in the same bed and going to the same job. Haven't been to stoked on going out and meeting anyone at all. Last few months have been pretty damn depressing. I guess I'm fearing having the talk. and I've probably read

Too many scary things online. But they are possible. So this is just where I'm at. hopefully settle down more in time.

[2Legit2Quit]

I have constant symptoms, even on daily meds, so I get it... I've been having at least one or more bumps on my buttock for a month now and now found some irritation and bumps down below as well, but technically it would be part of my leg/butt, but still right near my hooha... I get it, I really do. My nerves have never been the same since I got this a yr and 3 months ago, I can't sit on hard surfaces w out a lot of discomfort and I dread what an airplane ride will be like for me next yr and a lot of hiking.. I'm affected more than the average person, who even has symptoms, so I can relate... But after some time I realized how pointless it was to let it get me down, because I can't control it and worrying about it isn't going to help. I still have moments.. Like today and likes lot of days, I recognize and tell myself that in the future when I'm ready to date, I need to just stick to the STD dating site, cause I'm always active... It's not ideal, but it's the boat I'm in and like w any obstacle in life, you adjust and find a way around it, even if it wasn't your preferred path...

 

It takes time to desensitize to it. Just cut yourself some slack, blur your eyes out of focus and don't look at your wanker... Kinda like how when I gain weight, I won't look in the mirror w out a shirt. Lol.. Do what you gotta do to get by and to not focus on what you actually can't change and control at that very moment. You'll be OK... Even me w my constant obs... I mean what other choice do we have? Trust me, I'm not thrilled about this either and I'm jealous of those who never have symptoms or only every few months ths..

[mp9999]

thx again 2 legit. I hope your situation gets better w time too

[mp9999]

Is it possible for me to have kids without giving this to someone else?

[2Legit2Quit]

Oh yes, I have 5 gfs who have had multiple kids w vaginal birth and did not pass it

[WCSDancer2010]

Yes of course.... many discordant couples NEVER use meds or condoms ... and if you use them you just would stop using condoms to get pregnant ... but remember female-male transmission for HSV2 is about 4% without any protection ..it's less for HSV1 ... so the risk is already low .... you just need to be vigilant about what is going on with your body ... that awareness is a big piece of not passing it on too!

[mp9999]

wow. how did I get so lucky!!! thx

[mp9999]

i wanted to come back to this site and leave another comment because i don't really think ill be back on this site to often. wanted to let you guys know where I'm at with this thing. so its been around 6 months since the first outbreak. no other outbreaks. end of my dicks colour still not the same. have a feeling it never will be. i still think about it everyday, and I'm still angry about it. but for the most part I'm just keeping busy and living my life. hoping for the best. big game changer though. kinda scared about the whole sex thing these days. and kinda just don't wanna be bothered.

[2Legit2Quit]

I'm sorry you're still going through this. Hang in there

[WCSDancer2010]

@mp9999

 

(((HUGS))) friend. Give it time.... (you AND your dick!).... and if you find yourself getting stuck, go get some help with counseling. Truly, for the vast majority of us, this little bugger becomes a non-issue with time. So be gentle on yourself, go out, have fun with your friends, and let life flow. One day you will wake up and realize you didn't think about it yesterday.... promise :)

[hippyherpy]

Oral sex and kissing link hsv1 and hsv2 together in my opinion. Yet nobody is obligated to disclose that they have hsv1 orally.

 

Think about that- 9/10 people have it in their mouths and pretty much everyone has oral sex.

 

It's the biggest steaming load of horse shit of herpes confusion.

 

Who doesn't give head?

 

There's something that doesn't make sense about the numbers. If 9/10 people have herpes in their mouths and almost everyone gives oral sex, and nobody discloses oral herpes, why doesn't almost everyone have genital hsv1?

 

 

They need to pass a law that either says that everyone who has HSV1 or 2, genital or oral, must disclose, or have get rid of mandated disclosure all together.

[hippyherpy]

Over 3.7 billion people have genital herpes..

 

http://www.news-medical.net/news/20151029/Over-37-billion-people-under-50-have-genital-HSV-1-infection-shows-WHO-report.aspx

 

3.7 BILLION!!!!!!!

 

again

 

 

3 . 7 B I L L I O N

[hippyherpy]

Wait it's actually half billion- n January, WHO estimated that 417 million people aged 15-49 years have HSV-2 infection, which causes genital herpes. Taken together, the estimates reveal that over half a billion people between the ages of 15-49 years have genital infection caused by either HSV-1 or HSV-2.

[2Legit2Quit]

Yeah, I wish they'd do a statistics report on those who have genital herpes 1 & 2. That would be a lot more eyw opening, than just the numbers for 2.

[hippyherpy]

They did- that's what's in that link. it's a littl over half a billion people. 1/14 of the worlds population.