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Disclosed, went great!

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Hi! I'm a 23 year old female, just for some demographic.

This one's been eating at me for months now. Started seeing someone long distance, we'd chat on the phone for hours and I really liked him but he was far and I didn't know what to expect. He came to visit me, we connected in a crazy way and had a great 5 days together, no sex. He was very respectful and didn't push it. I felt I had several opportunities to tell him, work it into the conversation in a graceful way, and of course I let them pass. He left, and we were talking more than ever. A month later I went to his family's beach house for a weekend to see him again. I felt strongly that I had to tell him this time, because a) it felt like a face-to-face conversation and I didn't know when I'd see him again, and b) things were progressing towards a place of working each other into our futures and I started feeling like I was leading him on or "tricking him" by not telling him (the mind will do crazy things to us..) Anyways, it was a unique situation because we had logged so much phone time that we felt super comfortable with each other and felt as if we had been dating for much longer, but in reality we had only spent a total of 7 days together? So in my mind, I kept reminding myself that this was still new, that it was too soon...combined with, "this is progressing quickly and seriously, I need to tell him"


By the time I got down there I knew I couldn't do it... we were with his family almost constantly and the little amount of time we did have alone, I didn't want to ruin. Avoiding sex was AWFUL and insanely difficult. Felt like I was back in high school. I was quiet almost the whole trip. I left without telling him.


It's a week later, and I finally worked up the guts last night to tell him on the phone. The conversation had turned to learning lessons, about life offering us the same lesson in different manifestations. I brought up the releasing of attachment to the physical body, and told him about being with the guy who gave this to me, and my experience with that, what I learned, and then moved onto explaining that I felt it was time to tell him and that was why I couldn't sleep with him last weekend.


The first thing he asked was "What was it like to tell me that? How do you feel?" and matter-of-factly assured me that it did NOT change how he thinks of me or wanting to be with me. Even brought up wanting to go down on me in the same sentence. I told him that was sweet but he should digest the information first, and that I would understand ANY feelings he had regarding the topic, that I was an open book if he had any questions. He told me he thought I was brave for telling him "out of context" (as in, not when things were hot and heavy) and thanked me for trusting him enough to tell him and that he hoped I felt better having that off my chest. We left the topic for some time and revisited it later, I probably spewed out some statistics, he mentioned getting cold sores occasionally (I'm type 1) and basically summed up that he thinks we're fine. He said he doesn't use condoms and that it's been awhile since he's been tested and that, even though he's never had a close call, he's going to do that before we're together.


Just wanted to share another successful disclosure in hopes to encourage those of you who are feeling blue and unsure to speak TRUE to what's in your heart, be honest and raw with yourself and with others. The relinquishment of control will bring good things :) I'm here if anyone needs to talk.

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