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very difficult as i am sure everyone here is aware

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I am terrified, i am taking Monolaurin and Lysine, they do seem to work on my really sore red and white bumpy tongue but it seems like i am having to take the medication in both higher doses and in shorter intervals to keep the pain and inflammation under control. I tun an auto repair business and have to talk with customers constantly every day. Is difficult with the pain and white markings on my tongue to one sound like i am speaking English and 2 appear like i DON'T have a peace of gum in my mouth...... I am in DIRE need of this to give me some time WITHOUT it. My LIFE my BUSINESS, everything is hinged off of how sore my mouth has been for a month and a half now. I watched the pep talk video here it helped tremendously but ONLY as i watched it. Once it was over REALITY strikes me instantly and i am in pain lost and lonely again. I am at a total loss of what to do...... I am a perfectionist with auto repair and customer relations but even those are starting to get effected by my inner pain suffering distraction..... i am not sure how long i can take this......

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Hi, @FatalSorrow, and welcome. I’m sorry you’re in pain and that this is affecting your work. Have you had a formal diagnosis yet with a swab test on your tongue lesions? If not, perhaps there’s something going on that’s not HSV related? If you know for sure it’s HSV, have you tried antivirals? I’m all for natural supplements as well, but since it can take a while for the body to get the virus under control, meds might be helpful even if temporarily.

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If you aren't on valtrex (or valacyclovir, as the medical name, I think), you should see about getting a prescription. Like hippyherpy said.

I'd also second hikinggirl and recommend that if you haven't been diagnosed by swab taken from the lesions, you should look into that with your doctor as well.


I'm sorry to read that you have it tough. That really does seem like a lot of difficult things to deal with.

Work with your doctor to get a formal diagnosis, if you haven't already done so. If you feel like your current doctor is not doing everything in their power to help, feel free to seek a second opinion.


If you find yourself struggling with negative thoughts and emotions, consider posting in the "herpes buddies" thread. Being able to have a one-on-one conversation with openness and blunt honesty really helped me to deal when I found out, and had my own hard times.

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I have not had a medical diagnosis as of yet that is accurate as my infection was only 2 months or so ago and the first test i DID have showed negative across the board. what is the strangest feeling is that i would feel GUILTY if i get tested again and am NOT hiv positive. Weird, i have always in my life felt for others and done things to help everyone along life's path. It is currently 3 am and i am wide awake, little headache insomnia and self pity. I of course hope that i do not have it but with the response here being as comforting and helpful as it has been ALREADY i would indeed feel guilty if i was not hiv positive. My doctor has now become an instructor for medical positions and has left her practice in pursuit of helping others in the medical field. Leaving me with NO doctor at all....... I am not sure what to do, i have now picked up medical insurance. I guess the next step is finding another doctor, there is no medical help here in my town, i will have to resort to diving 3 towns away to find any. thank you HikingGirl and RegularGuy you have helped me feel accepted here regardless of my condition, thank you both.

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The prescription Valtrex (I think the medical name is valacyclovir) helps your immune system fight hsv (and a couple other things). It does this by helping white blood cells find the virus more easily.

Outside of that, I am not sure of anything clinically proven to aid your immune system, but I would hazard a guess that balanced diet, exercise, solid sleep, and activities that relieve stress would probably be worth while.

Personally, I take a multivitamin with a high dose of B12 (associated with helping improve mood in some unofficial way). I find that B12, along with the regular gammut of vitamins is either an effective placebo (fooling me into feeling better), or actually has a positive influence on my mood.

A lot of people also find vitamin C helpful.

It is true that lacking essential compounds from a balanced diet can make health issues worse. So can excessive stress, and lack of sleep.


I know that's probably a lot of "duh!" Commentary, but it is the best advice I can give, bot being a doctor at all, and not really having a great deal of education on it.


Try to do things that make you feel like you are having a beneficial influence on your health and mood. As long as you are not risking making your symptoms worse, or anything. Take my advice with a grain of salt, I recommend what I feel like works for me without any real trials to back amy of it up.

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i appreciate that hippyherpy i am just new to this game and think for ONE act with someone that was not as special to me as she should have been BEFORE........ I feel like i have flushed my life down the toilet. I have never had my dad in my life and then this past monday my mom dies suddenly so i have nobody to talk with about this anymore. My screen name here is very accurate in depicting my mental state now.......

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@fatalsorrow nothing is ever worth taking your own life. I know that is easier said than to just changed ones way of thinking. I just completely understand what your feeling. I have recently been diagnosed too and feel like what the fuck is going on. And seriously, no sex I’ve had was worth this. I am a freak about protection, so job to know that even with comdoms it can (and did) happen. I have officially been sex-free for over a year now, but was close to 11 months with no sex when I was diagnosed. I am still trying to wrap my head around it and make sense of the new life I have to live. Not thinking about being H+ every moment of every day is tough. Some days I think about it less, but every time I use the restroom I am reminded. It every time I see a hot guy I’m eeminded. I am (im)patiently waiting for the day to feel like others on here. Really hoping it comes sooner rather than later. I just wanted you to know, you’re not alone!! We are all there with you!! We have all felt, or still are feeling, the way you do. It gets better. You are worth life and never forget that!!

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Sorry to hear about your mother. Ok so you are dealing with other heavy things in your life that aren't related to herpes. It's important, as hard as it may seem, to separate these things. Also, you are new herpes- that means you are in shock more because you don't understand the facts about it yet. It's not anywhere near as bad as you think. But don't take my word for it, read up on all the facts and you will see that it isn't a big deal. Hang in there, your perspective on herpes will improve.


It's a lot of stuff to deal with at once - passing of family. You will pull through this time stronger. I promise.

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I'm right there with you man.


Harvesting my sorrow constantly thinking about how in desiring a five second orgasm has plagued my life forever with an incurable virus. I'm only 25, no kids, no gf. My dating/sex life is basically over.


You're not alone my friend. I find posting and staying active on these forums helps a little. I guess it makes me feel better to know that others are suffering the same ailment.


Oh and blasting heavy metal helps too haha

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Ruiner your sex life isn't over. It will be regardless of herpes if you take a defeatist attitude like that because no woman is attracted to that shit.


Anyway, I've had sex like 70 chicks after getting diagnosed about two years ago. All disclosures. Don't use having herpes as an excuse to wallow in self-pity. Colds are incurable too, but people don't cry about the condition of "getting colds". You'll get over it. Work out, get your lifestyle, game , fashion, etc together and don't scape goat the having herpes thing. It really isn't a big deal.

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You're absolutely right. My bad for acting like a little self wallowing pussy, that was pathetic.


I guess I'm just still new to the virus and everything surrounding it. I think severity of my first outbreak has freaked me out, the pain is like none I've ever felt. And for the record my case put anything I saw on google images to shame (lolol.)


I just can't see myself transmitting this pain to someone else knowingly.


I have read a lot and see a lot of cases where people have the virus and show no symptoms, which is relieving to read (lucky bastards). Seeing how successful you've been since your diagnosis has also been a ray of light.


So when you disclose do you just straight up tell them "I have herpes" or what? I''m curious how you go about that.


Also how has your dating life been, or are you just not interested in a relationship?




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Yep. I tell them that exactly. I break it down how I lay it out and I say what I say at each step in my thread called ladies' man herpes success stories. When it's clear that we are definitely going to have sex, I tell them I want to tell them something. Then I say I have herpes and immediately ask them if they know anything about it. That's the thing- most people either don't know anything about it or have the wrong info on it. So you will probably have to correct the info for them. That said, I've had a lot of girls who are like "you don't have a break out right? Ok, let's use a condom."


I've had girls who are even ok with not using a confirm after a couple rounds of boning.


Sorry to hear that you got a bad outbreak. It really is rare to get it that bad. A lot of the people who will come to this site are the rare exceptions of people with bad outbreaks looking for info. It makes herpes look like an overall nightmare but the truth is that most people get zero symptoms. So even if you passed it on to someone, they aren't likely to manifest symptoms as badly as you. So don't get worked up with guilt and dread about passing it on.


Your first outbreak is usually the worst and then maybe you will get a few more and most people don't get many. Get on some Valtrex.


There is a silver lining to herpes though- it can act like an early warning system in some ways.

If you tend to go out and party and drink and wear your body down, that's when herpes is likely to act up. In that sense, it actually puts you more in touch with and makes you more aware of your immune system. Like an immune system dashboard. Or if you aren't dealing with some emotional issue directly and try to hide it, herpes might act up. It forces you to ne more honest about what your are feeling. Herpes can can nudge you to stay more healthy in general mentally and physically.



Another silver lining is that having herpes can help motivate you to maximize all you le attractive qualities. You want o be able to come with confidence to a girl. Truth is that there will be somemrejections, but that's ok and normal - even without herpes there are rejections for a wide variety of reasons. Herpes Ian just one other reason, and I'd say 7/8 of my sexual encounters the girls give me a green light. Confidence is about having an abundance mindset and not worrying about whether or not some girl rejects you. There are many more fish in the sea.

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Okay cool, so I take it most girls don't see it as a big deal then?


And yeah, the outbreak is slowly getting better but god damn that was fucked up. Like when I would go to pee I could literally smell the infection when I pulled my pants/underwear down. It is disgusting.


And I like the silver lining part you being up. Before I was infected I was always into health and nutrition, I've been lifting for the past three years and keeping my diet clean.


I've kind of fallen off the deep end these past two weeks due to the shock of being infected. I started smoking again, lost like 10 lbs, haven't seen the gym in two weeks and have been eating shittier (I guess my screen name proves true lol). It has definitely had an effect on my state of mind. That will all soon change.


7/8 is a pretty good ratio if I may say. Casual sex is cool and all but I'm more interested in a genuine connection. How has your dating/love life been since your diagnosis?



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That is my dating love life since diagnosis. 7/8 is about right, but again there are some rejections. I stil have options. Truth is that most girls don't seem to care in my experience because I don't make a bigger deal about herpes than it needs to be. You are proof in that moment that it's ok- your confidence demonstrates that ain't no thang.


Yeah it's a shock that first couple weeks to get this thing, but it's mostly just amental shock for most people. In your case you had a bad reaction.

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If it helps, I just got over my first outbreak 2 months ago.

Through sticking to my standing goals and continuing to put everything I have into achieving them, I have been able to return to my normal state of mind: overly ambitious, and kind of cocky in general.

Maybe not the most admirable of qualities, but my degree is in the bag, and the raise I was working toward is being written up next week. So, it works in a ironic way. Point is, I get to continue to be myself in every way, you will too.

Focus on your plans for the future, keep hammering away at them.

And yeah, listening to some thrashing metal helps.

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i wanted to thank everyone as your aid and awareness of my situation is indeed comforting at least a little. I still have a sore tongue that WILL NOT stop hurting It is very difficult to think about ANYTHING else... work, life, especially happiness is the LAST THING that comes to mind.... i am working VERY hard to treat my customers and people as i would have BEFORE being told i was a glass of rotten milk at an Oreo eating contest i feel so absolutely DIRTY and like someone here said i would NEVER EVER want ANYONE to go through this ESPECIALLY a kind wonderful beautiful woman i am attracted to. I would not even want my WORST enemy to go through this, it is NOT something i would feel good about infecting ANYONE with.....

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