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longterm-relationship? where Male didn't pass HSV2 to female?


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For what it's worth, I have been w my wife for 15 years.  I recently had some kind of outbreak.  May have been H, may have been shingles.  No swab test, no blood test yet so don't know for sure.  Have not had a second outbreak.  She blood tested negative for H.  If I do, in fact, have H that would be 15 years, no condoms, no antivirals, with no transmission. 

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Yes, I will get tested soon.  Due to the accuracy levels of the blood test I was actually "hoping" to have another OB to get the swabs test and be certain.  I actually have been eating crap to purposely bring one on.

Also waiting on blood test if I somehow contracted it recently, in some random way (gym, toilet seat, etc).  I know that's basically impossible but the blood tests aren't cheap so I'm waiting 3-4 months.  Will be using condoms until then.

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Hi Everyone

Interested to see your post.  For what its worth I have been in a long term married relationship for over 30 years to the same partner.  I got "H" before I met her.  She is still herpes free! 

We have always had a great sex life and still do.  We  always use condoms for any and every sexual contact of any kind.  I still get outbreaks of H in a fairly random manner but unless the outbreak is a bad one, it does not inhibit our sex.  Quite often I am not 100% sure whether or not I am having an outbreak as some are so minor.  I don't take antivirals because of bad side effects .  Either way condoms are always used!  

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I haven't passed herpes to a partner and have been married to my wife of 4 years, who hasn't gotten it yet (and for a while there we weren't using condoms, which contributed to us getting this amazing lil 18-month old baby boy!). 😉 I have always been on daily suppressive therapy, though. And we discussed the risks together to make the decision to not use condoms.

However, be careful of assigning risk via people's personal stories since even though the risk is low across the general population, either someone gets 100% of herpes or 0%, no in between. But being open about it and having an open dialogue not just about herpes, but about sex and sexuality goes a long way to protecting your partner. Communication is the first line of defense to keeping your partners as safe (and loved) as possible. 

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11 hours ago, mr_hopp said:

I haven't passed herpes to a partner and have been married to my wife of 4 years, who hasn't gotten it yet (and for a while there we weren't using condoms, which contributed to us getting this amazing lil 18-month old baby boy!). 😉 I have always been on daily suppressive therapy, though. And we discussed the risks together to make the decision to not use condoms.

However, be careful of assigning risk via people's personal stories since even though the risk is low across the general population, either someone gets 100% of herpes or 0%, no in between. But being open about it and having an open dialogue not just about herpes, but about sex and sexuality goes a long way to protecting your partner. Communication is the first line of defense to keeping your partners as safe (and loved) as possible. 

Yes indeed I totally agree and every case is different.  I do though think that the often quoted statistics about condom effectiveness both for unwanted pregnancy and herpes may be a little misleading as it is likely to be based on an average of typical condom practice over their samples.  It is likely that condom “practice” may well be rather reluctant or casual and careless in many cases and that would skew the statistics compared with somebody who uses condoms with a much more proactive and determined attitude!  But absolutely no doubt, frankness and open communication is of course the basis for keeping your partner as safe as possible.

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Hi

6 year relationship, no suppressants, no condoms & she is still H negative.

I have OB once a year max but if I have any tingles at all I will not have any sex with her.
It was her choice not to use condoms.
I do have a concern that suppressants or any drug taken everyday can not be good for you & can have long term effects
but again would take them if my partner wanted me to.

As mr_hopp stated everyone is different, so you can't really judge one persons situation with your own but always
being open to talk about it with your better half is the way to go, as is the same with any other important issue between a couple.

Good luck to you!

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23 hours ago, Pete4 said:

Hi Everyone

Interested to see your post.  For what its worth I have been in a long term married relationship for over 30 years to the same partner.  I got "H" before I met her.  She is still herpes free! 

We have always had a great sex life and still do.  We  always use condoms for any and every sexual contact of any kind.  I still get outbreaks of H in a fairly random manner but unless the outbreak is a bad one, it does not inhibit our sex.  Quite often I am not 100% sure whether or not I am having an outbreak as some are so minor.  I don't take antivirals because of bad side effects .  Either way condoms are always used!  

I should add that during the 30 years plus of our relationship I have fathered a beautiful daughter, now grown up (with a few very careful and deliberate non-condom days!).

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  • 1 month later...
On 10/24/2018 at 6:51 PM, Pete4 said:

Hi Everyone

Interested to see your post.  For what its worth I have been in a long term married relationship for over 30 years to the same partner.  I got "H" before I met her.  She is still herpes free! 

We have always had a great sex life and still do.  We  always use condoms for any and every sexual contact of any kind.  I still get outbreaks of H in a fairly random manner but unless the outbreak is a bad one, it does not inhibit our sex.  Quite often I am not 100% sure whether or not I am having an outbreak as some are so minor.  I don't take antivirals because of bad side effects .  Either way condoms are always used!  

You mean condoms always ALSO for example... handjobs with your partner? Thanks

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