Still with the man who accepted me!

[LittleStar]

2 years together and going strong 

So far, I have managed to keep him safe (4 years with HSV2). But I’m also (finally) in a place where I don’t freak out about passing it on. He has openly said he “doesn’t care an iota about herpes”!

About to purchase our first home together and talking about kids in the near future...

There is hope out there for everyone! Even you, yes you!

My advice? Be honest, be vulnerable, be courageous and own your status. Show your partner that you value them above your own fear of rejection. Approach the subject as objectively as possible but keep it real to your experience. 

Good luck to everyone! Love is love, a skin condition will not get in the way of a real connection with a beautiful soul!

[Concerned1977]

1 hour ago, LittleStar said:

2 years together and going strong 

So far, I have managed to keep him safe (4 years with HSV2). But I’m also (finally) in a place where I don’t freak out about passing it on. He has openly said he “doesn’t care an iota about herpes”!

About to purchase our first home together and talking about kids in the near future...

There is hope out there for everyone! Even you, yes you!

My advice? Be honest, be vulnerable, be courageous and own your status. Show your partner that you value them above your own fear of rejection. Approach the subject as objectively as possible but keep it real to your experience. 

Good luck to everyone! Love is love, a skin condition will not get in the way of a real connection with a beautiful soul!

@LittleStar This is great I'm so happy to hear this gives us hope 🙏.If you don't mind me asking how have you managed to keep your partner safe?  Do you take daily supplement or antivirals?  Do you guys use condoms?  I want to do all I can and appreciate the feedback 💕

[LittleStar]

10 minutes ago, Concerned1977 said:

@LittleStar This is great I'm so happy to hear this gives us hope 🙏.If you don't mind me asking how have you managed to keep your partner safe?  Do you take daily supplement or antivirals?  Do you guys use condoms?  I want to do all I can and appreciate the feedback 💕

Hi Concerned,

Until recently I was taking Valtrex daily but became complacent and have now stopped altogether, as I would like to see how my body goes without.

We have never used condoms. I offered, but we were both happy to go without (fully STD tested and on birth control).

I am always open when I experience symptoms (99% of which I feel are either very temporary or in my mind) and my partner often “checks” me haha. He has no qualms and I think appreciates being a part of the process!

I avoid sex during an outbreak (obviously) but they have been few and far between. Otherwise, our sex life is very healthy. 

He is completely aware of the potential risks involved and I think that has helped me hugely in accepting myself, warts and all!

I hope this helps 🙂 

xox

[Whymewhynow]

10 hours ago, LittleStar said:

Hi Concerned,

Until recently I was taking Valtrex daily but became complacent and have now stopped altogether, as I would like to see how my body goes without.

We have never used condoms. I offered, but we were both happy to go without (fully STD tested and on birth control).

I am always open when I experience symptoms (99% of which I feel are either very temporary or in my mind) and my partner often “checks” me haha. He has no qualms and I think appreciates being a part of the process!

I avoid sex during an outbreak (obviously) but they have been few and far between. Otherwise, our sex life is very healthy. 

He is completely aware of the potential risks involved and I think that has helped me hugely in accepting myself, warts and all!

I hope this helps 🙂 

xox

@Little Star this is extremely encouraging because ilalot of the time I just don't feel like I will be accepted. It's good to know that when someone does it will be worth the wait!

[Michgirl73]

So very awesome for you! I’m still wondering how this will ever get to a place I’m ok with. I hate that I have this and have to feel like I’m some disgusting person because someone else couldn’t be honest with me when I only was honest with him and loved him for him. I just hope I can get that love someday I have been extremely depressed and I know it makes it worse but I can’t get it out of my head. Good luck to you guys. I’m glad some ppl are able to find love and move forward with a successful relationship. 

[forgivenessandpeace]

On 2/2/2019 at 10:31 AM, Michgirl73 said:

So very awesome for you! I’m still wondering how this will ever get to a place I’m ok with. I hate that I have this and have to feel like I’m some disgusting person because someone else couldn’t be honest with me when I only was honest with him and loved him for him. I just hope I can get that love someday I have been extremely depressed and I know it makes it worse but I can’t get it out of my head. Good luck to you guys. I’m glad some ppl are able to find love and move forward with a successful relationship. 

@Michgirl73 and you too will be able to find love and move forward with a successful relationship. Also, you don't "have" to feel like you are some disgusting person because you are not. You are an honest and loving human who will make a great partner to a worthy man ❤️❤️ 

[Michgirl73]

10 hours ago, forgivenessandpeace said:

@Michgirl73 and you too will be able to find love and move forward with a successful relationship. Also, you don't "have" to feel like you are some disgusting person because you are not. You are an honest and loving human who will make a great partner to a worthy man ❤️❤️ 

Thank you very much! I hope and pray always. I never thought in a million years I would have to deal with this. Im getting my immune system better which is helping a lot more.

[Brownly]

On 2/1/2019 at 9:08 PM, LittleStar said:

2 years together and going strong 

So far, I have managed to keep him safe (4 years with HSV2). But I’m also (finally) in a place where I don’t freak out about passing it on. He has openly said he “doesn’t care an iota about herpes”!

About to purchase our first home together and talking about kids in the near future...

There is hope out there for everyone! Even you, yes you!

My advice? Be honest, be vulnerable, be courageous and own your status. Show your partner that you value them above your own fear of rejection. Approach the subject as objectively as possible but keep it real to your experience. 

Good luck to everyone! Love is love, a skin condition will not get in the way of a real connection with a beautiful soul!

Do yall use condoms, antiviral medications? Oh sorry I see u already answered the question lol

[LittleStar]

1 hour ago, Brownly said:

Do yall use condoms, antiviral medications? Oh sorry I see u already answered the question lol

I have already answered this question 🙂 - see replies above

[Strawberrygirl]

Hi there,

I read your previous post of how you met at work...and reminded me so much of my current situation.

i feel strongly attracted to a guy at work that is super into me...even though he knew I had a bf. I had been having doubts for 2 years about my bf...due to lack of passion, being in different pages in life, his immaturity etc. 

Now that this guy knows we broke up he already made advances to meet outside work...

thing is now I’m having all these doubts...I still live my ex and we decided to have a break, go to psychologists to improved ourselves and see if we can improve the relationship. We have been having great sex since the break up(it’s inly been 2weeks). I feel like the passion and love is being reignited...I have tons of insecurities to work on...plus I am afraid the guy at work would reject me and tell others...or that even if he accepted, if we were to break up...we would have to see each other every day and that would be very uncomfortable. We work like 3 seats away from each other.

i also feel anguished to be single, ni companion, im realizing I’m very emotionally co-dependent...

like you I have told 2 previous partners and both didn’t give a crap. 
 

so many emotions mixed together. The herpes fear, being alone, not meeting the right person or anyone that I like...did I do the right thing breaking up with my ex? Coz I still love him...even though I didn’t feel the same for a while towards him...

[LittleStar]

On 10/14/2019 at 12:37 AM, Strawberrygirl said:

Hi there,

I read your previous post of how you met at work...and reminded me so much of my current situation.

i feel strongly attracted to a guy at work that is super into me...even though he knew I had a bf. I had been having doubts for 2 years about my bf...due to lack of passion, being in different pages in life, his immaturity etc. 

Now that this guy knows we broke up he already made advances to meet outside work...

thing is now I’m having all these doubts...I still live my ex and we decided to have a break, go to psychologists to improved ourselves and see if we can improve the relationship. We have been having great sex since the break up(it’s inly been 2weeks). I feel like the passion and love is being reignited...I have tons of insecurities to work on...plus I am afraid the guy at work would reject me and tell others...or that even if he accepted, if we were to break up...we would have to see each other every day and that would be very uncomfortable. We work like 3 seats away from each other.

i also feel anguished to be single, ni companion, im realizing I’m very emotionally co-dependent...

like you I have told 2 previous partners and both didn’t give a crap. 
 

so many emotions mixed together. The herpes fear, being alone, not meeting the right person or anyone that I like...did I do the right thing breaking up with my ex? Coz I still love him...even though I didn’t feel the same for a while towards him...

Hi Strawberrygirl,

From your post it sounds very much like you are unsure of your feelings. I thoroughly believe a door needs to be closed until a window of opportunity is opened, and by your own admittance you say you still have feelings for your ex. So if I were in your shoes I would focus on dealing with that before even entertaining the idea of starting up something new with someone else.

You mustn’t let fear stop you from attaining what you want. Putting herpes aside, would you feel as confused about moving on to a different chapter of herpes wasn’t in the picture? I think we can find ourselves “settling” simply because we don’t believe another person could ever accept us again however these are simply limitations in our own minds (based in fear and rejection).

If you want to pursue something with a colleague it definitely makes it a little more nerve racking! But for many other reasons apart from herpes. If it doesn’t work out, you still need to work together. If we go down those rabbit holes we would never have the opportunity to see what could have been (and it may be something beautiful).

Focus on what you want and why you want it. If it’s a relationship with your colleague, go for it! If he rejects you (which is unlikely based on the stats of disclosures and successful outcomes) then you have to trust that he will keep your personal stuff to himself. I don’t see why anyone would want to share such intimate deals with other people in the workplace unless they have a low level of maturity and seek cheap thrills.

Go with what your heart wants and good luck!