mr_hopp

Hey there, I second what @AlliKat12 shared. Understanding the facts about HSV can help to ease the overwhelming feelings that often come with a diagnosis. HSV-2, which you've tested positive for, usually prefers the genital area. Getting HSV-2 orally is really rare (only 1-2% of all oral herpes cases are HSV-2, the rest are HSV-1), so sharing cups or kissing won't spread it since the virus tends to stay below the waistline. It typically spreads only through skin-to-skin sexual contact (think friction, grinding) with the infected area. Medication is a personal choice. I have both genital HSV-2 and oral HSV-1, and to keep my wife safe (she hasn't gotten herpes yet for the 9 years we've been together, and we have a 6-year-old), I take daily suppressive therapy (Acyclovir), which is very well-tolerated. I just take it with my other vitamins every day. If you do choose medication, it can reduce the chances of viral shedding by about half. Keep in mind that you can still pass on both HSV-1 and HSV-2 during asymptomatic viral shedding, but the odds are relatively low (see the handouts and e-book for all the data). Using condoms and medication further decrease those already small chances. (Female to male transmission = 4%/yr without condom and meds; 2%/yr with either condom or meds; 1%/yr with condom and meds). It's absolutely a myth that herpes is rare — most of the world has some form of herpes, as @AlliKat12 shared (you'd be in the extreme minority if you didn't have herpes!). So you're certainly not alone. Hang in there!

Hey there @Ari678, First off, take a deep breath. It's a rollercoaster of emotions when you first get this news, but trust me, it's not the end of the road. I was in a pretty similar place when I found out, thinking my love life was doomed. But here's the real deal: the person who sticks around and is understanding, like the guy you're dating, that's a pretty good sign of their character. You've already got a positive start there. And about your three-year-old, they're still gonna see the amazing mom you are, herpes or not. I totally get your worries about physical contact. It's natural to be cautious, especially in the beginning. But over time, you'll learn the ins and outs of how herpes works, and it won't be as scary. Educate yourself and your partner, and that'll go a long way in easing those fears. Start with the free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook As for feeling like you won't find love or acceptance again, I've been down that road. It's a common worry, but it's absolutely not set in stone. There are sooooo many understanding and loving people out there who won't care about the herpes tag. Why? Because they will see YOU more than they see a little virus. (And heck, 80% of people who have herpes don't even know they have it.) Here's the bottom line: you're not alone in this. We've all had those dark moments, but trust me, the sun shines again. Focus on loving yourself first, get educated to keep the anxiety at bay, and the rest will follow suit. It's a journey, but you're strong enough to navigate it. Keep your chin up!

So sorry I missed this one, @Rob72723! Are you still around and need an answer to this?

Great question, @laketodo! Have you previously experienced an external outbreak, or did you discover your herpes status through a positive blood test? If you've had external outbreaks, then any potential internal ones typically coincide with these external episodes. (And for an added layer of data-gathering, you could go to your doctor when you're having an external outbreak to have them look internally as well.) The virus, when reactivating from dormancy, stimulates regions along the nerves where outbreaks usually pop up. So it's super rare to have an internal outbreak without any external signs or symptoms. From everything I've heard (and even in talking with Terri), recurring outbreaks inside the vagina are rare; most outbreaks are somewhere on the labia, around the anus or on the buttocks. The primary strategy to protect partners is abstaining from sexual activity when you notice any signs or symptoms. If you abstain when you have any signs or symptoms, the transmission rates for female-to-male transmission apply. This translates to approximately 4% annually without a condom or daily suppressive therapy meds, and 1% with both preventive measures. You can find comprehensive info about transmission risk in the handouts with H Opp's free ebook here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

I felt the same as you. Our lives parallel in a lot of ways it seems. My ex cheated on me during Christmas holiday, got herpes, and gave it to me. I always found it difficult to find dates. I was awkward and didn't know how to meet women. It all felt like it came to a head when I got herpes. "If it was already hard for me, now it's impossible." I wish I could pop you out of your current perspective so you can really see that: It's a perspective. And perspectives can change. And it's up to you to believe that you can change your perspective. https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-is-not-an-opportunity

Have you gone to your doc to get the patch tested via PCR swab? That'd be the first step.

@Lj-broken & @Sunnygurl I want to acknowledge your feelings and the challenges you've been facing. It's not uncommon for the weight of a herpes diagnosis to feel insurmountable, especially when coupled with other life challenges. When I first received my diagnosis, I went through a similar phase of overwhelming despair. It felt like everything had changed, and the future seemed bleak. I cried in my mom's lap in her work parking lot for hours. It was a hard, hard time. But looking back, I've come to realize that a significant portion of that despair was rooted in the stigma and misconceptions surrounding herpes. Just like you, I felt as though my love life and overall happiness were shattered. It's like watching a terrifying movie and then carrying that fear into real life, reacting to something that's been sensationalized and blown out of proportion. I now have a wife. I have a 6 year old kid. Life moves on. But if I would have told my past self that, the one crying in my mom's lap, he would have laughed at me and called me a liar. The truth is, the stigma attached to herpes has been perpetuated by various factors, and most of it is far from reality. Herpes is a virus, and while it has implications, they're not nearly as dire as they might seem at first. Learning to separate the hype from the reality has been a journey for me, and I'm grateful I faced it head-on. What I want to emphasize to both of you is the importance of self-acceptance and self-love. The stigma is a construct, and its power diminishes when we choose not to internalize it. Rejecting ourselves before anyone else has the chance to is like predicting our own failure. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we convince ourselves that we'll be alone and rejected, we might not even try to connect with others or disclose our status. The real challenge here is not the virus itself; it's the journey toward embracing and loving ourselves, irrespective of our health status. It takes immense courage to be vulnerable, but it's through that vulnerability that we give others a chance to know and love us for who we are. We must be the drivers of our narrative, breaking down the stigma and fostering an environment of empathy and understanding. Remember, you are not defined by a virus, and you're both deserving of love and connection. Reach out for professional help when needed, connect with those who understand, and know that there's a community here ready to support you. Life is challenging for everyone in a variety of ways, but it's also full of opportunities for growth, love, and connection. You are stronger than you realize, and together we can work towards a more positive and empowered perspective. I saw this great snippet from an amazing interview with Stephen Colbert that drives this point home: P.S. — And yes, definitely find a different doctor. That's unacceptable. You have every right to get on suppressive medication.

Hi again, @Sunnygurl! I'd say it's better to be asymptomatic (20% of people who carry HSV never have an outbreak) so you don't experience the discomfort of herpes outbreaks. Everyone who carries HSV sheds. Whether you have a history of outbreaks or not, you are shedding at times, you just don't know when. Shedding doesn't necessarily only coincide with outbreaks, it can happen anytime (although you can think of shedding as shedding on steroids that overwhelms the surface of the skin to create the outbreak). The full term for shedding is "asymptomatic viral shedding" since there are no signs or symptoms. And the rate of shedding depends on whether you have HSV-1 or HSV-2 and where the primary infection is. Genital HSV-2 sheds the most (15-30% of days of the year). The details are on the free handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook You don't necessarily shed less if you are in that 20% camp of folks who haven't had an outbreak, so this shouldn't change the part of the disclosure where you discuss potential risk.

Hey there @Herpes123, No need to apologize for your English – you're doing just fine! Dealing with genital herpes is no joke, and I'm sorry to hear about the constant struggle you've been facing. It sounds like you've been on a rollercoaster ride of pain and frustration, and that's tough. It's great that you're trying different things to find relief. Sometimes it takes a bit of trial and error to figure out what works best for our bodies. Lysine and ozone therapy are options that some folks explore, and I understand your hesitation about being dependent on meds. But it's helpful to note that all herpes medications are very well-tolerated over the long-term, so if meds bring you relief, definitely consider them. At least until you find something better. Supportive Oligonucleotide Therapy (SOT) sounds interesting. I haven't tried it and haven't come across anyone who has. Of course it's a personal decision whether to give it a shot, especially when it's something relatively new and potentially expensive. If it's offering a break from the constant outbreaks and providing some quality of life, it might be worth considering. But from what I'm reading — https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9680246 — the results look promising, that after 2-3 administrations, SOT could inhibit the replication and metabolism of viruses, including HSV. But it's important to not that these findings are still preliminary, so further research and trials are needed to evaluate safety and effectiveness. It's certainly a balancing of the pros and cons and unknowns!

Hey, Welcome back, @Sunnygurl! I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts and emotions here. It takes guts to open up about something as personal as this, and I want you to know that you're among friends who understand what you're going through. Dating and disclosing can be a real rollercoaster, especially when you're asymptomatic. It sounds like you've handled it like a champ with those good reactions and acceptances – kudos to you! Getting close to someone and not being able to fully experience intimacy can be tough. But it's awesome that you and your partner are communicating openly and considering your options. That is a good sign. To talk about things vs. not. And going to the doctor together is a smart move – accurate info is key. Just make sure you go to an open-minded, non-stigmatized doctor. You might be surprised by how many doctors out there carry the stigma and judgment. I totally get the anxiety – uncertainty can mess with our minds. But remember, you're strong. You've dealt with challenges before, and you've got the resilience to deal with this too. You're absolutely right about worth and value. Herpes doesn't define you. You're a whole package, with quirks, strengths, and dreams. And the right person will see that – herps or no herps. It's great that you've got folks around you who understand. They're living proof that life goes on, herpes or not. And yep, HSV-1 often doesn't get the same flak as HSV-2. But remember, feelings are feelings, and yours are real. Hey, life throws curveballs, but it also serves up some amazing moments. You've got the power to handle whatever comes your way. Lean on this community whenever you need – we're here to listen, share, and support. Keep your chin up, take things one step at a time, and remember, you're never alone in this journey. Stay strong, you got this.

Hey @very_obvious_throwaway, I totally feel you on the frustration of dealing with recurrent outbreaks – it can be a real rollercoaster. I'll try to help clarify some things ... The idea that outbreaks get less severe and less frequent with time is a general trend, but it's not set in stone for everyone. Everyone's body is a little different, and factors like stress, immune system strength, and even just plain luck can play a role. The outbreak that lasted a month and felt more painful than the initial one might have been a fluke, or it might have been influenced by some unique circumstances. Genital herpes can indeed pop up in new areas, including the sit-bones (it's actually very common for people who are used to only genital outbreaks to occasionally get outbreaks on or around the butt area). The herpes virus hangs out in your nerve cells, and outbreaks happen when it decides to travel along the nerve to the skin's surface. So, yes, it's possible to have outbreaks in new locations even after the initial infection, but it's not necessarily because of auto-inoculation (transferring herpes from an outbreak on one part of their body to another, which only tends to happen during a primary outbreak before antibodies are established). Your understanding isn't off the mark, but herpes has its sneaky ways. Feeling like you're losing control is understandable, but remember, you're not alone in this. As for spreading herpes despite being careful, while the virus's behavior can be a bit unpredictable, you're not a danger to yourself. Herpes isn't likely to just hop around your body randomly. As for your other questions: It's tough to definitively say if a new site will have recurrent outbreaks or if it's a one-time thing. It could go either way. For me, all my outbreaks (on both my mouth and genitals) recur in exactly the same place. However, the appearance of blisters doesn't necessarily mean the virus is fully established in the nerves at that site. Time will be the true tester here. The appearance of new blisters close to the initial outbreak area is usually a continuation of the same outbreak. It's not so much a new patch of skin being infected by released virus particles; it's just the virus moving along the nerve pathway. Let us know if you have any other questions!

Hey there, No judgment here – life is full of unpredictable moments. It's understandable that in the heat of the moment, some things slip our minds. First off, give yourself a break; we're all human. And in your awkward and bad feelings lies an important lesson about your integrity. On some level, you didn't just forget; denial can be a tricky thing, and it can have us putting off important conversations. And when we put off important conversations, they become more difficult to have. When it comes to disclosure, honesty is key. Since you're planning to talk to him soon, just be open about it. Let him know that you should have mentioned it earlier but got caught up in the moment. Explain that you've had ohsv1 your whole life, and while the odds of transmission are low, you believe in transparency. Chances are, he'll appreciate your honesty and understanding of the situation. People generally respond well when they see that you're approaching it responsibly. So, take a deep breath, and remember – awkward moments can lead to great conversations. Best of luck, and I hope it all goes smoothly for you! Stay real ...

Hey there @BallroomD, Totally get where you're coming from – having a strong connection with your partner and a vibrant love life is fantastic. And balancing that with managing herpes can be a challenge. It's great that you're practicing safe sex and being mindful about outbreaks and shedding. Your relationship sounds awesome, bravo for that! You're right about the shedding period after an outbreak – it's typically around 14-21 days for the first outbreak, but it tapers off after that as your body builds up more and more of a natural defense (aka antibodies). The general consensus is to wait until any outbreak completely clears (scabs fall off naturally) and then wait a few days after that. Others say up to 2 weeks. But it's going to depend on how long you've had herpes and how strong your immune system is. Personally, I've always waited a week after new skin shows, but there's no hard-and-fast answer for you that will guarantee anything 100%. As you say, there's always a risk, we're just trying to minimize that risk to our partner while balancing having a healthy sex life with them. Since this is only your 2nd outbreak, I think waiting a few weeks is great. After you've had herpes for about a year, your body should have it enough under control that you can safely wait a week after scabs fall off to engage in sexual activity again to minimize the risk of transmission. The big kicker here is this: Even though you have an outbreak (or are healing from a recent one), intimacy doesn't have to be off the table! Maybe penetrative sex in the ways you're used to together isn't available, but you just need to be creative. And that can be a huge opportunity to expand your sexual horizons together. For me personally, playing these kinds of games has actually deepened our connection. Any couple can get into sexual ruts; and even herpes outbreaks can be a gift to throw a curve ball into your established patterns and force you to expand the idea of what's possible. Sexuality is only a small part that resides within a much bigger bubble called Intimacy. (In fact, one of the most profound sexual experiences I've had was during one of these "creative times" that had both my partner and I stepping outside of our comfort zones to do something we wouldn't have tried otherwise. Go figure! So much of this is in our head, based on the perspective we choose to take.) With that said, here are some fun things that I've done that has been really awesome for our sex life: Mutual masturbation. Watching each other as we masturbate is super hot, and you get to see how each other likes to be touched. It's simultaneously hot and a learning experience for the next time you touch each other. The "boxers-off-limits" game. Tell your partner in a playful and sexy way that we're going to play a game where you get to touch me and try to turn me on anywhere on my body but my boxer shorts. Focus on her pleasure. She gets to be the Queen. She tells you what she wants, how she wants it, and for how long. You do as you're told. Focus on her pleasure and go deep into what turns her on and makes her feel great. Sensual massages: Taking turns giving each other massages can be incredibly intimate and pleasurable. Use scented oils, dim the lights, and let your hands do the talking. Sexy storytelling: Share fantasies, tell each other steamy stories, or even write erotic letters to each other. This can set the mood without direct physical contact. Sensual baths or showers: Getting clean together can be an intimate experience. Use the opportunity to pamper each other and enjoy the closeness. Tantric practices: Explore tantric techniques that focus on building and channeling sexual energy without necessarily engaging in penetrative sex. (This also "charges you up" even more so when you can engage in penetrative sex again, it's ... explosive.) Sensory play: Blindfolds, feather ticklers, ice cubes – engaging different senses can create a unique and exciting experience. Role-playing: Pick out roles or scenarios that intrigue both of you. It's a fun way to step into different characters and enjoy a fresh dynamic. Remember, the most important thing is open communication and mutual consent. Your willingness to explore and adapt together can bring you even closer. So, have fun, stay safe, and keep nurturing that strong connection. Sounds amazing!

1. being that the supplemental test came back negative, that would mean I’m negative for hsv2 outside of the protected exposure that took place 3 days before my initial Labcorp test as my only other partner is my long term partner of 10+ years. Correct. It's a good data point to have so you can know your status pre-encounter. 2. what would the earliest antibodies would start to develop from the current exposure? I’m guessing I wouldn’t get a 1.06 equivocal or 1.88 hsv1 igg if this was related to the encounter 3 days before the Labcorp test, correct? Trying to see if these values were somehow related to the recent event or not. From what I’ve read online, antibodies don’t start to show up until 21 days plus. Is this accurate? The timing of seroconversion (the development of detectable antibodies) for HSV can vary. Typically, IgM antibodies might start to appear within a week or two after exposure, but they can be difficult to interpret due to cross-reactivity with other viruses (which is why IgM tests suck). IgG antibodies, on the other hand, generally take longer to develop. It can take anywhere from 2 to 12 weeks (and occasionally longer) for HSV IgG antibodies to become detectable in the blood following a primary infection. The specific values you mentioned (1.06 equivocal or 1.88 for HSV1 IgG) would not likely be related to an exposure only 3 days before the test. These values would more likely be related to a past exposure. 3. with a 1.88 hsv1 igg if this was a previous infection, I would think the number would be a healthier number, at least above 5-6, right? Many folks online that are known positive are in the double digits from an igg standpoint vs the 1.88 I received. You know, figuring out HSV IgG test results can be like reading tea leaves sometimes. It's just not as simple as looking at a number and knowing what's going on. People are different, labs are different, and those numbers can mean various things. Think of it like a scale: anything below 0.9 is generally considered a no-go, meaning negative. Anything above 1.1, and you're in the positive territory. But those in-between numbers? They're kind of like being in limbo and can be tricky to pin down. The tests themselves might even have different thresholds, so it's best to check with the doc or the lab to know exactly what's what. Now, about that 1.88 you mentioned. That's typically a yes – a positive for HSV-1. But here's the thing: it doesn't come with a timestamp. You can't tell when you got it or how strong your body's response is just by that number. And let's not forget that these numbers can be finicky. Different labs, methods, even your own body can make those numbers dance around. Comparing your 1.88 with someone else's double digits? It's like comparing apples to oranges. It doesn't mean one's more robust or "healthier" than the other; it's just different.

First off, it sounds like you and your partner are being really responsible about sexual health, which is fantastic. Regular testing and practicing safe sex are key. Now, about the recent outbreak and the sexual activities you had around that time: When you had the outbreak, it's generally a good idea to avoid direct skin-to-skin contact with the affected area. Using protection like dental dams is a smart move. However, even with that, it's important to be cautious. The situation you described with the dry humping and her touching you afterward might carry a small risk, especially if there was any direct contact with the outbreak area, but it would involve virus from your outbreak somehow making its way into a small cut/opening in her hand. Good news is the virus doesn't prefer to be on the hands, hence why the vast majority of outbreaks are mouth/genitals. As for giving her oral during an outbreak, you should be fine on that front. Genital herpes and oral herpes are in two different systems in the body. When you have genital herpes, the virus hangs out at the base of your spine until it wakes up to travel through your nerves to the surface of your skin. And if you have oral herpes (which it sounds like you haven't ever had cold sores or oral outbreaks?) then the virus stays at the top of your spine until it wakes up to travel to the surface of your skin to cause an oral outbreak. So if you're just having a genital outbreak, it doesn't necessarily mean that you'll also have an oral outbreak. Now, even if you've never had an oral outbreak that you're aware of, you can still be silently shedding 9-18% of the days of the year, so you could transmit oral herpes asymptomatically, but that risk isn't influenced up or down with whether you're having a genital outbreak or not. Now, about her wanting to eat your butt while you're on an outbreak: Communication is key here. If you've never had outbreaks in that area and have no symptoms at the moment, the risk might be lower. However, it's important for both of you to discuss your comfort levels and make informed decisions together. Herpes transmission can occur even from areas that aren't showing symptoms, albeit it's less common. My only hesitation with that is even if you haven't had outbreaks in that area specifically, if the outbreak is so close to that area, there may be more virus being silently shed in surrounding areas during an outbreak, which might increase the risk. Remember, each situation is unique, and it's great that you're being proactive and seeking information. Stay informed, keep those conversations flowing, and take care of yourselves. Wishing you both a healthy and happy journey ahead!

Being grateful isn't just being grateful for the good things. When we go through painful events, we are immediately connected to everyone else who has gone through something similar. It's important to remember, especially in the dark times, that you are never alone, that someone understands, and that you can get through it.

The screening index result of <0.90 is considered negative, and since the HSV-2 IgG screening assay was repeated on a different platform and also came back negative, the inhibition result couldn't be determined. This means that the second test did not detect any HSV-2 antibodies in your blood. Given these results, it's reasonable to consider the possibility that your initial LabCorp test was a false positive. It's essential to be cautious about interpreting low positive results, especially when they fall within the equivocal range. False positives can happen, and that's why confirmation tests like the Western Blot are so valuable for providing a definitive diagnosis. Regarding transmission from the one-time protected encounter, you are correct in saying that the risk is relatively low, especially with condom use. However, as you mentioned, the only way to know for sure is to get tested again after the appropriate waiting period, which is usually around 3-4 months for HSV-2 (and 2 months for the Western Blot). Since you haven't experienced any symptoms resembling an outbreak, that's a positive sign. But do keep in mind that not everyone with herpes experiences noticeable symptoms, so the absence of visible sores doesn't necessarily rule out infection. If you want to be absolutely sure about your HSV-2 status, wait for the appropriate time frame (3-4 months since your last potential exposure) and get tested again using the Western Blot test. This test is highly reliable and will provide a definitive answer. In the meantime, try not to stress too much about the situation. It's essential to take care of your mental well-being, and obsessing over the test results can add unnecessary anxiety.

It doesn’t look like a classic presentation , but as a general rule, we don’t want to be visually diagnosing since we aren't doctors and even if we were, it wouldn’t be definitive. Go to your doc, get it swabbed and have it PCR tested would be the best thing to do to be sure!

This is good data to know firsthand! Thanks for sharing. I’ll definitely pass this along to Terri and amend my comments about this accordingly!

I received this inspiring email today and thought I'd drop it here for anyone looking for success stories in herpes disclosure ... — — — Hi Adrial! I want to say how much I've enjoyed your videos. My husband passed away 2 1/2 years ago. I was married a little over 40 years and I've had herpes for that long, also. When I was ready to start up seeing new men and moving forward in my life, having to have the conversation was so overwhelming. I thought rejection would be everywhere and a huge part of how things would go. I met 4 men: one was a little serious, two were casual, and the other serious and still continues today. These have been the only men I shared my condition with and none of them rejected me. The thing that I thought would be the biggest turnoff seemed to have little to no affect on us. Videos like yours helped me navigate this time of needing to tell someone about me and find out about them. Thank you for spreading the word. Thank you for sharing yourself and your story. I can't tell you what a huge relief it's been to see and hear someone else discussing the issue of herpes. Thank you, again! Forever grateful

Yes! This is the attitude to have. The best way to get back is to create an amazing life and have this change you for the better. Rock on! We're going to have to change your screen name ... 😉

Assuming there is no active outbreak, of course, then we're talking about the risks of transmission from the herpes-positive partner's genitals to the herpes-negative partners's mouth via asymptomatic viral shedding. Whether it's a woman's mouth or a man's mouth who is doing the oral sexing, the rate of transmission to that mouth will be the same. The difference between sexes is in genital transmission rates, which lies in the fact that penises have less mucous membranes than vaginas, so women are ~2x as likely to get genital herpes than men — 15.9% of women have HSV-2 vs. 8.2% of men. [CDC] Back to the oral transmission rates ... specifically answering the first question (genital-to-oral transmission), there are different scenarios (see the free handouts for the % breakdown): If the partner has genital HSV-1: Genital HSV-1 only sheds 3-5% per year (vs. genital HSV-2 shedding 15-30% per year), so yes, genital HSV-1 can be transmitted to a partner's mouth, but interestingly you have about 3x more of a chance of transmitting oral HSV-1 through kissing than through oral sex. This is because oral HSV-1 sheds about 3x more (9-18% per year) than genital HSV-1 (again, 3-5%). So in other words, 2/3 of the world has HSV-1, so whenever people kiss, they are taking 3x more of a risk of getting oral HSV-1 (if they're the minority of 1/3 of the world who doesn't have HSV-1 yet) than if they were to go down on a partner who happens to have genital HSV-1. Food for thought. If the partner has genital HSV-2: Genital HSV-2 sheds more (9-18% per year) than genital HSV-1 (3-5%), however HSV-2 much prefers to stay below the belt than above. In fact, only 1-2% of all HSV-2 cases are oral. So it’s much more difficult to transmit herpes orally, even if the shedding rates are higher. Then for the other part of your question (oral-to-genital transmission), yes, this is common. In fact, of all new genital herpes cases, more than half of them are via oral sex! This happens mostly out of ignorance because people don't realize that those super common "cold sores" that most people get are actually oral HSV-1 and can be transmitted genitally and (*magically*) become genital herpes of the HSV-1 variety. Again, there is twice the risk of a herpes transmission to a vagina via oral sex than a penis because more mucous membrane. I hope this helps!

Hi H Oppers! A question I received via email that I'll share here just in case you've pondered the same thing: "What confuses me about herpes is the following: If a man performs oral sex on a woman who has genital herpes, can he contract oral herpes? If a woman has oral herpes and performs oral sex on a man, could she transmit genital herpes to him?"

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time, and I can't even imagine how challenging it must have been dealing with all of that. It's heartbreaking to see how people can betray our trust and share such personal information without any regard for the impact it can have on our lives. Feeling defeated and hopeless after facing such a betrayal is completely understandable. Trusting someone and then having that trust shattered can leave deep scars, and it's okay to vent and share your feelings here. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and it's unfortunate that some people failed to see that. Starting over in a new place is certainly an option. It might provide an opportunity to surround yourself with new people who will genuinely support and uplift you. While trust may be hard to come by now, there are good people out there who will appreciate you for who you are, beyond any label. On another note, if you decide to stay and face these challenges head-on, there's an alternative perspective worth considering: Choosing to not be bothered by those people who would judge you for having such a common STD (2/3 of the world has HSV-1, 1/6 of the world has HSV-2). When you see those who would judge you without actually knowing you (based on hearsay), you can also look around to see those who will see you for who you actually are, gossip be damned! It can be an empowering thing to choose to accept yourself in the face of external ridicule, but to have all of that make you internally stronger and more resilient. Because you know who you are. They clearly don't. If all of what they judge you about is based on either complete unfair herpes stigma and/or an outright lie (that you didn't disclose to him before hooking up), then you know all of their judgments are based on a rickety premise at best. Surround yourself with people who truly know you and can mirror that back to you. As you might imagine, after putting my story out there, I've had my fair share of ridicule from people who don't know me other than "That herpes guy" ... and for the most part it's absolute projection, putting all the negative stigma onto me as some sort of representative of a virus that gets a bad rap. (But important to mention: I’ve received soooo much more connection and love than ridicule!) But one day, I had the chance to face the stigma directly, in an unlikely place (my best friend's fiancee). I tell that story here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-stigma-how-to-become-bulletproof In the meantime, know that you have a community here that cares about your well-being and is ready to listen and offer support. Your mental health is essential, so don't hesitate to seek professional help if you need it. Remember, you are not defined by the actions of others, and you have the strength to overcome this challenging situation. Take things one step at a time, and be kind to yourself throughout this process. Sending you virtual hugs and support! 💕

I hear you. It is a confusing time for sure. Because I've always heard 3-4 months before getting the WB, perhaps you wait (which I know is the hardest part!) another month and get another WB. That's going to be your best bet for a definitive test result.