mr_hopp

Hey @Phoenix08! It sounds like you're having a reaction to monolaurin, similar to how skin might react to too much Retin A. It’s not uncommon to see some irritation as your body adjusts to a new supplement, especially at higher doses. Others have sometimes reported similar skin reactions when starting new supplements, so you're not alone! It's always smart to listen to your body and scale back if something feels off.

Hey @WSTCHSTRHIKING, First off, HSV-1 (which can affect either the oral or genital area, usually depending on the location of initial infection) and HPV are different viruses with their own distinct symptoms. The bumps you mentioned from when you were younger sound like they’re related to HPV, especially since your dermatologist identified them as such. HPV and HSV-1 won’t look the same and generally have different types of outbreaks. Canker sores inside your mouth are usually not caused by HSV-1; they're non-contagious and quite different from cold sores, which are caused by herpes. Now that you’ve tested positive for HSV-1, it doesn’t necessarily mean your genital symptoms are due to this virus, especially if they look more like HPV and behave differently from typical herpes outbreaks. Medications for herpes won’t help with HPV outbreaks because they target different viruses. If you’re unsure about any symptoms, it’s a good idea to keep consulting with your healthcare provider. They can help clarify which symptoms are linked to which virus and advise on the best treatment options.

My pleasure, @Darleen! Glad it was helpful. (And I like the sound of Mr. Hope. That certainly rings true. 😉)

Hey @Isleguy, Typically, herpes outbreaks recur in the same general area where the virus first entered the body because the virus stays dormant in the nerve cells near the initial site. (For example, all of my genital herpes outbreaks have shown up in the exact same spot on the shaft of my penis.) However, HSV-2 primarily affects the genital area (only 1-2% of all HSV-2 cases are oral), so you're right that having a first outbreak near your belly button and then on your lip is unusual since these areas are typically affected by different types of the virus (orally, HSV-1 is by far the predominant strain). It's good you're getting the new bump swabbed. This could help clarify whether it's indeed a herpes outbreak or something else. You could also have both strains, HSV-2 and HSV-1. And remember, auto-inoculation is possible but rare without direct contact from an active sore to another body part. Also, the longer you have herpes, the less likely auto-inoculation can happen because your body builds up natural immunity. How'd your appointment go to swab the bump? And yes, unless it's a fluid-filled blister, it probably won't pick up enough matter to be identifiable, unfortunately.

Hey @seamusharper, The risk of transmitting herpes, whether she has had multiple partners or not on the same night, mainly depends on whether there are active outbreaks and the type of contact. Unprotected oral sex can expose you to genital or oral herpes if she is infected, especially if she had any sores or symptoms. Protected penetrative sex reduces the risk significantly but isn't foolproof, especially for areas not covered by a condom. The number of partners doesn't inherently increase your risk from the same encounter, but multiple exposures over time would increase your overall risk. You can download the free e-book and handouts for more transmission-related data: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook It’s always wise to get tested if you have concerns about possible exposure, even if symptoms aren’t present, as herpes can be transmitted without visible signs. However, without any signs or symptoms yourself that would be swabbable at the clinic, you'd have to wait 12-16 weeks before enough antibodies would be detectable by a blood test if you did indeed have herpes. Let us know if you have any more questions!

Hey @Darleen! I'm sorry, it's totally frustrating to deal with those symptoms even after the visible outbreak has healed. What you’re experiencing is actually quite common among many folks with HSV2. These symptoms are often referred to as post-herpetic neuralgia (PHN), where nerve pain and sensations linger after an outbreak. It's your body's response to the virus affecting the nerves. Many find relief by continuing antiviral medication even after the outbreak clears, as it can help reduce the frequency of these neuralgic symptoms. Also, managing stress and maintaining a healthy immune system can be beneficial. It might be worth discussing with your doctor if you continue to have frequent outbreaks and persistent pain—they could adjust your treatment to better manage the symptoms. Take care and hope you find some relief soon!

Hey @Missannthrope45, It sounds like you’re in a bit of a tough spot, but it's great that you're thinking this through. Even if things with this guy aren’t heading towards something long-term, it’s still important to bring up your HSV status before getting more intimate. It’s not just about relationships but also about respecting each other's right to make informed decisions about health. After all, you'd want him to be upfront with you about something similar if the tables were turned, right? (And I love what you said, @Isleguy. Well put.) A casual yet straightforward approach can make this conversation easier. (In other words, don't think of it like a big "speech" per se; it's the safer sex conversation that all consenting adults should be having.) You might say something like, “Hey, I really enjoy spending time with you, and since we’re talking about getting closer, I think it’s important to share something personal. I have herpes, which is pretty manageable, but I want to be upfront about it. What do you know about it?” This opens up the dialogue and shows you care about consent and safety, which is super attractive in its own right! Here's a link to a video I made that talks about handling casual hookups with herpes, which might give you some more pointers: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/casual-hookups-with-herpes Also, even though this is something casual, you can still get a lot from reading the disclosure ebook and soaking up the data/stats so you're armed with knowledge and confidence beforehand: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook It’s totally normal to worry about rejection, but every disclosure is also an opportunity to connect on a deeper level, even if things are casual. Plus, handling this well sets a positive tone for how you approach challenges, which is something to be proud of! Hang in there and good luck with your date. Keep us posted, okay?

My pleasure, and thanks for the kind words! I love to hear it that folks like you get goodness out of H Opp being around.

Hey there @pecan! Yes, the CDC does mention it can take up to 16 weeks or longer for enough antibodies to develop to detect HSV-2. This timing varies because everyone's immune response is different. Some people might develop detectable antibodies sooner, while others might take longer. It's not exactly specified how much longer beyond 16 weeks it could take, as it really depends on individual immune system factors. This is yet another factor that contributes to a lot of frustration and confusion about the herpes testing process, so you're certainly not alone in wondering this!

Hey there @pecan, Wow, what a journey you've had with all this testing confusion! It sounds super stressful, and I'm sorry you've had to go through so much frustration over this. It's great that you've finally got some clarity with the negative Western Blot result, especially after all those negative IgG tests over the years aligning with no symptoms. It does sound like your initial diagnosis might have been a mistake, especially with the inability to produce those early test results and the strange numbers on that old IgG test. My guess is that first test was *not* a Western Blot since WB is the gold standard and has much higher efficacy than IgG (but it's more expensive, so clinics tend to use IgG as the go-to herpes blood testing method). A second Western Blot probably wouldn't be necessary if you haven't had any new exposures since the last test, as the test you had is quite reliable. Given your long history of negative results and lack of symptoms, it seems very likely that you don't have HSV-2. Your experience highlights how important clear communication and accurate record-keeping are in healthcare. If you still have doubts or need more peace of mind, discussing this with a knowledgeable healthcare provider could help, but it sounds like you've been thorough. Take care of yourself, and I hope you can find some peace after all this!

Hey there @Darleen! It's totally understandable to be cautious about long-term medication use, but know that all herpes meds (Valtrex/valacyclovir, Acyclovir, Famvir) are generally considered safe for long-term use in managing herpes outbreaks, but like any medication, they can have side effects. The concern about kidney issues primarily affects those who already have kidney problems, elderly patients and/or are taking other medications that impact kidney function. So if you generally have good health, you should be fine. I've been taking twice-daily Acyclovir for over a decade and I've seen no issues, and the vast majority of people fall into that camp. If your outbreaks are becoming more frequent, it might be worth discussing with your doc. They can help you weigh the benefits and risks of ongoing Valtrex use based on your specific health circumstances. They might also check if anything else could be impacting your outbreaks, like stress or other health changes. Always good to keep your doctor in the loop, especially when you’re noticing changes. Stay safe and take care!

Haha, "bumpies" — I love it! And shocking the bumpies away sounds like a superhero move. It's not something you hear about every day, especially in the context of managing herpes outbreaks. Your theory about it possibly impacting the nerves and the virus is neat to consider. While there isn't established research linking shockwave therapy with herpes management specifically, I'm glad you shared your personal experience just in case. Could be something there, but also could be a complete one-off coincidence. Who knows! And of course it’s always important to approach new treatments cautiously and discuss them with a healthcare professional, especially when it comes to long-term management strategies for conditions like herpes. Thanks for sharing your story!

Thank you for the update, @Farishta, and congrats on reconciling! We humans can be pretty messy, especially when it comes to romantic relationships, but a superpower we have is the capacity to repair what needs repairing in the relationships we want to nurture in our lives. Good work! And yes, love that quote. Because even going through hell can give us an experience that has us appreciate our lives in a more profound way on the other side of it ...

Hey @Isleguy, it sounds like you're carrying a heavy load right now. A perfect storm. Finding out about HSV-2 amidst marital strain must feel like too much to handle alone. It’s a tough situation, but you’re taking responsible steps by seeing a counselor and planning to talk with your dad. That’s brave. I certainly had similar suicidal moments initially myself, but I'm so glad I didn't do it. And I'm glad you didn't either. Because making such rash decisions in the midst of such strong emotions is never the way to go. It's super important to put this into perspective: HSV-2 is way more common and manageable than the stigma and shame would have you realize, and it doesn’t define your worth or your ability to have meaningful relationships. At all. Separation is a big decision, influenced by more than just a diagnosis. Honest communication is key, whether with your wife, a therapist, or close family. It’s okay to take time to figure out what’s best for you and your family. And @ashleytiffania, you’ve shared some insightful thoughts. Therapy could indeed be a pathway to rebuilding trust and communication, potentially creating a space for difficult conversations. And absolutely, time heals through the stages of grief (when you hold a positive perspective as much as possible). Remember, you’re not alone, and it’s okay to lean on this forum, friends, or family for support. You got this. Keep us in the loop as this thing progresses.

Hey there, @Pink Sky, and welcome back! It's totally possible for herpes outbreaks to shift locations slightly, especially in the same general area where the virus usually pops up. This isn't unusual, as stress and health changes can influence outbreaks, including their location and frequency. Stress and trauma can trigger more frequent or differently located outbreaks. The herpes virus lives in nerve ganglia (like branches of a tree) and travels along nerve pathways to the skin surface. Usually, it follows the same path, but sometimes it may take a different branch, appearing in a new nearby location. This doesn't mean it's spreading across the body but manifesting in different parts of the same nerve region. Definitely stay in contact with your clinic so when/if those ulcers come back under your butt cheek, you can run in to get it swabbed when they are fresh so you'll get a more definitive test. And you're right on it — managing stress and continuing therapy might also help manage the outbreaks since a peaceful physiology creates a healthier immune system. So keep doing what you're doing taking good care of yourself!

My pleasure, good luck, and keep us in the loop!

Hey there @Phoenix08! I’m really glad you found this forum, too, and that you shared your story. Your openness and spirit already add so much to our community. And yeah, it's pretty wild how misunderstood herpes is, especially with those offhand comments about intimacy. But you’re hitting the nail on the head; herpes actually nudges us towards deeper, more authentic connections. It's not about lowering standards but elevating them, ensuring that we’re open and vulnerable with the right people. Regarding disclosure fears, it’s totally normal. It can feel like our logic ("Wait, isn't this just a simple rash? It's so not a big deal.") and our emotions ("Aaaahhh! I'll never find love again ... EVER!") are at direct odds with each other; it can feel like a civil war between our hearts and heads, duking it out. But remember, vulnerability and honesty are incredibly attractive traits to the kind of people you want in your life. These qualities don't push these people away; they magnetize them. And about that stigma? Shining a light on herpes, talking about it openly and honestly, that’s how we start to dismantle it. Each disclosure is an opportunity to educate and reduce the stigma, proving it’s a small part of who you are, not the defining feature. If anything, your defining features become that you are honest, open, courageous, and all those good qualities that shine during a confident disclosure. You’re doing great, and every step forward, even just mingling, is progress. It's exposure therapy, proving to your subconscious mind that you're okay, there's nothing wrong with you, and you're moving forward. Keep embracing your journey, and remember, every story shared here, including yours, helps someone else feel a little less alone. Keep shining! ... and if you haven't already, definitely read the free e-book and handouts to help you with your disclosure perspective. You can download them free here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook And here are a few videos to start with about disclosure, I hope they help! https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/the-herpes-talk-success https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/the-talk-stigmabusting https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/when-do-i-have-the-herpes-talk

My pleasure, @D_Marie! Ultimately it's about asking yourself what kind of a relationship you want to have and attract ... If you want a relationship that's based on truth, authenticity, trust, and all those good things, then we need to lay that foundation. And like @Jespo shared, it doesn't always work out when you do the right thing, but it's vital to not let fear steal away our own integrity to then avoid having such important conversations with partners in the future. That is a recipe for even more pain in the future once a relationship is based on such shaky foundations.

Hey @Surferdude3536, sounds like you've been on quite the journey trying to figure this out. Going to see an allergist and a new dermatologist is a smart move. Everyone's different, so what you're feeling might take a bit to sort out. My own experience with a bit of a sunburn feeling didn't last too long. Everyone’s experience with HSV (and skin conditions in general, for that matter) is unique. And @Phoenix08, your story about the face wash is a perfect example of how tricky allergies can be! It really shows how something you've been okay with for years can suddenly become a problem. Reminds me of the time that a buddy of mine used hair conditioner to masturbate and ended up worried for weeks that he had an STI. Turns out skin can do weird shit when vigorously rubbed with hair conditioner. 😝

@Jasonlee56, it's great you're talking about this stuff and weighing all the thoughts and ideas floating out there. Feeling like herpes could mess up relationships is unfortunately super common, but being honest can really help. It's all about when you feel it's right to talk about it. Everyone deals with it in their own way. Before you disclose or have sex, you need to trust this person with your vulnerability. That's key. And herpes-only dating just doesn't work for most people. Because you're pre-rejecting yourself, assuming rejection if you date the "normal" population (as if you're somehow ejected from that dating pool). By choosing herpes-only dating, you're cutting out so many options, down to less than 2% of people. Read this article for more on that: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-dating-sites @Phoenix08 — You're definitely not alone feeling this way. It's okay to have ups and downs. It's awesome that being open led to good moments for you. It shows that being real with people can lead to deeper connections, even when it feels super scary. And yes, people assume that because dating was hard for them before herpes (it certainly was for me, too, I feel you!) then it will be 10x harder after having herpes, but it's just not true. It changes the landscape of the types of conversations you have and what people can see in you, beyond an overblown skin condition. They see your honesty, your courage, your vulnerability, your confidence ... and all of that is there because of how you are choosing to face a difficulty in your life. And that is very attractive to so many people.

Hey @Missannthrope45, I totally hear you on the HSV dating site experience; that sounds super icky. It's so important to approach any dating scene with a solid mindset and expectations. To answer your question about disclosing, I waited a few dates or about a month before I disclosed to the woman who is now my wife and the mother of our 7-year-old boy. It gave us time to connect and build a level of trust and understanding before having that conversation. (But she had already googled my name and found H Opp, so turns out she already knew, and was curious about how I would disclose!) 😝 It was an amazing, beautiful day, and it opened our relationship up to a deeper level. Your experiences with disclosing and getting positive responses are really encouraging! It shows that there are absolutely plenty of understanding people out there who value honesty and connection over a diagnosis. Thanks for sharing your perspective and experiences; it adds so much value to this community.

Hey @Missannthrope45, Congrats on re-re-entering the dating world! And getting back into dating after being diagnosed can feel super scary. I hear you. It’s like you’re stepping back into the ring after being knocked down! But here’s the thing: Having herpes doesn’t mean you have to lower your standards. Actually, it means you get to RAISE them. Because now, you're looking for something real. A person who can’t handle your diagnosis isn’t someone you'd want long-term anyway. It’s like a filter and a chastity belt wrapped into one; it can help in finding genuine connections that you can trust (since you only disclose and want to have sex with people you can trust with your vulnerability). And yeah, the idea of finding someone else with herpes might seem like it’d make things easier, but really, it’s all about finding someone who gets you — virus or not. In fact, herpes-only dating is pre-rejecting yourself and makes your dating pool much, much smaller than you could ever imagine. Read this article for more on that (specifically this part on pre-rejection): https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-dating-sites#:~:text=Herpes-only dating as pre-rejection So yes, the whole dating game is tough, no doubt. But having herpes doesn't necessarily make it harder or easier. It just tends to bring more authenticity and realness into the preliminary conversations. It can actually be a great magnet in both directions: Magnetizing authentic and real connections, and repelling those who truly aren't meant for you. Keep your chin up, don't take it personally (easier said than done, I get it), take it slow, and remember: You’re looking for that needle in the haystack that makes all this worth it.

Hey @D_Marie! Your feelings and the pain you're going through are completely valid. I was super pissed off when my then-girlfriend cheated on me and then brought herpes into our relationship. I get it. I didn't get a choice in the matter to take the risk or not. It's a complex issue, and you're right that we all navigate risks daily without full disclosure or a full understanding. But when it comes to intimate relationships, transparency about HSV status allows partners to make informed choices together, which strengthens trust rather than undermine it. Not disclosing can kill a relationship's future before it even begins because eventually it will surface, then trust is damaged. I've coached so many people through this exact situation who are on the other side of not disclosing. It's not pretty. And it takes a whole lot more work to repair the trust that is broken than to have just disclosed to begin with. It basically comes down to 2 paths: 1) do the hard thing now (disclose) and reap the benefits long term ... or do the easy thing now (don't disclose) and reap the long term anxiety that I've seen come with that. Good relationships are based on sharing truth. While HSV might not be life-threatening, the emotional and psychological impacts are real and significant for many. And you know ... not disclosing doesn't lessen the stigma at all — quite the contrary — shame and stigma grow in hiding. Hiding it makes it a much bigger deal than it deserves to be and just makes it worse. So yes, because there is such a small possibility of passing herpes when the proper precautions are taken, let's disclose so we can help share that fact through data and knowledge — and that is what actually lessens the stigma. It's up to us, the folks with herpes, to normalize this and actually show that it's not a big deal. One disclosure at a time.

Hey @kdogstew, I'm really sorry to hear about your wife's struggles. It's not common, but some folks do notice changes in their outbreaks when they start a new medication, including Valacyclovir. Everyone's body reacts differently to medication, so your wife's regimen might need some adjusting. It might be her body adapting to the medication, or perhaps the dosage needs tweaking. Best thing to do is have a chat with your doctor about it so it can be an ongoing conversation around what's working and what isn't. There are also other medications to try, including Acyclovir and Famvir. But your doc can offer tailored advice and possibly adjust her treatment plan to better manage the outbreaks. It’s great that you’re looking for ways to support her through this. Hang in there!

Ah, PHN is no fun, sorry to hear that. What are your symptoms specifically and for how long have they lasted? You'll want to start taking note (if you haven't already) about when sensations show up, what they're like, etc. PHN can be pretty stubborn, especially for older folks. While it can hang around for different lengths of time for different people, there are ways to manage the pain. This could include pain meds, creams for your skin, antiviral meds, or even special nerve block treatments. Have you talked to your doc about it yet? You can also check out other H Opp forum posts about PHN here: https://forums.herpesopportunity.com/search/?q=neuralgia&quick=1