nic4897

We recognize and tense with thighs engaged and pelvis dropped, we prepare. Waiting for next move in runner's lunge. Conscious. Aware. On guard. Searching for the next game so we can bolt propelling, escaping. What next play will throw us off balance? As if we couldn't manage otherwise. Stop. Don't run. Stay. Stay. It won't hurt. We are too numb and merely dreaming anyhow. 21st Century, our hearts are present yet the same souls are dying. Still alive, hoping with baited last breath and unaffected by any enlightenment because they are blocked. Love. Remember? It's when you give and there isn't anything to gain. It's when you receive and there's nothing to say. It's when you cry and there's someone to hold. It's when someone is crying and you have empty arms. Love. It's when you don't understand why you're acting the way you do. It's when you laugh and you feel yourself for awhile. Respite from realism. Breath into lifeless soul. Soul into death yet legacy eternal. It needn't be romantic nor friendship but always about the whole, a community. A forum. Love is about everyone, including you and every experience we have ever experienced together. Love is everything we don't have and everything we need most and is our golden, utmost commodity, today and then, 22nd century. Love. The taker and the giver without identity, an overwhelming wave of warmth. It is the future, it is the past, it is now. So teach and be taught unafraid. Love.

Always !!!! Xxx

Agreed @wcsdancer2010! You are my daughter's age @mixedemotion22114 and if I were your mum... I'd march you right in there and ask for a full testing! You're very brave and quite responsible and it sounds like you have a friend and a partner for support but you must be your own advocate. Thinking of you, sweetheart... Coming from a mom who became a mom at 19 and has done pretty well for herself because I always advocate and have fought hard for what was right for me. :) xx Be true to yourself, always. And, first!!

I had a fantastic and amazing friend joke in reference to a common running injury (and I quote),"Well herpes is common and I don't want that.." Everyone in our run group laughed.. Including me :). You know, removing yourself from a situational comment that personally resonates is what this is all about. Your friends are not educated nor they do they know that there's a strong possibility statistically that they're already carriers. I'm Sure if you think back maybe you have used "jokes" that maybe could have hurt someone if they were standing in the same room. The most common being,"that's gay" or "how retarded". Does that make it ok? Absolutely not! But, it does make us human because we err and hurt when we don't understand the power of our words in the time of usage. So, forgive. Trust me. They have never had to manage what we go through on a daily and are simply unaware. Peace, love. Either choose to educate or choose to accept that people today are just human and make mistakes. There is something to the old adage that ignorance is bliss, huh? Even good people make mistakes that hurt those they love the most.

Hi @Tj1986 .. I am assuming that's your birth year so I feel a partiality for you since that's how old my little brother is and I half raised him :) So, here is the thing: 1) It seems you are asking for reassurance that she isn't going to leave. Here is the answer and I'm not trying to be blunt or mean but rather very rational; the answer is we don't know. Only life does and unfortunately it seems you might be trying to leap over the journey to the ending of this predicament and fortunately life doesn't really allow us to do so. 2.) Your predicament has nothing to do with her or you having herpes. It has to do with relationships and relating. You've hit a bump in the road. A time when one partner reassesses where they are and where they are going and the other partner, not really knowing how the person they love is thinking or feeling, sorta (for lack of a better word) freaks! It's scary, right? You don't want to live without her being your partner and you hope she feels the same. In truth, you just don't know. 3.) Since you just don't know, why don't you have a conversation about how you're feeling and ask how she is feeling. Why guess? Why drive yourself crazy thinking of possible outcomes? Talk. Communicate. Start with how you're feeling insecure about your relationship because you're not sure how she is feeling right now and what she may do next. Tell her you'll be supportive but that couples need to work things through. Space may be needed by her to identify her feelings and you'll support the time she needs to do just that but please when you're ready to communicate with me, let me know :). I feel insecure and need your support as well. I love you. I want what's best for me, you and us. Let's talk. And, if things are fine between us and I'm just terrified unnecessarily, please let me know that prior to our conversation :) Good luck, love! I wish you all the best!

So true, right! Herpes or anything else.. it's always what the heart wants from family, friends, neighbors or lovers and all those in between @PrimordialOoze. Love.

Awww.. it is a universal feeling. Glad we have each other, @thisisgoingtobeokay

Keep on moving on :) Congrats!

All I want is to be cherished. Surrounded by light, Forgetting the past and future Feeling so present, Beautiful. Energized. All I want is to be accepted For who I am and who I am to become. Not judged. The majestic bloomed rose, Warm on snowy nights, The prickly-stemmed thorns, Iced dagger eyes. Two sides, Equal. All I want is to be generous, Without caution and lingering fear, Supported. All I want is to be someone’s choice and never an option. Prioritized choice made unless sacrificing own heart. All I want is something real, Not pretend. Because, we just can’t. It just is. Organic. Flowing. Natural. Earth. All I want Is to be loved. By someone other than my own self. And to love Someone other than my own self.

Health issue? No. Filter @joancharlotte. This is truly an opportunity to see who feels kindly toward you ... or not. Rejection, it's hard but good. It separates our true everything from not. We are lucky .. because we have each other and know who absolutely accepts us past our "flaws" err idiosynchrasies ... facets of us that make us vulnerable. :) BTW-- others have flaws (deal breakers) too. I am happy you found peace with yourself but don't cry. The right one will make him or herself so obvious that you'll just know now. #iknowitforyou xoxoxoxo Unless, you're crying cause you're so happy :)

Excuse my ridiculous rant :) but my message is that no matter what we say, the filter is always how someone and we feel. Always. I apologize for this crazy cynicism but, in the end it always is true. So stay hopeful that no matter what we say, how we feel and how other feel will surpass the words we choose to express our most vulnerable self. It's truly what acceptance is and is not. It lies beyond our argument and justification. It just is and won't make a difference to anyone that really cares. :)

Words, today. They may truly be our feeling but may also be arguments of our expressive self and where we understand to be stood at present moment and reflection but are not permanence. I certainly don’t know the answer you seek, especially since I am posing the question. I do know how to spin a tale without truly answering, that I am sure. I make you captive in my web of epic. My trap of the unanswerable makes one try to answer for me convincing merely because I am right now, neither here nor there, and you want to make sure I believe in something other than nothing. You’re an optimist, a fragile opportunist but my words are neither hopeful nor pessimistic worse, subjective. Your true argument sees right through my focused logic, especially when using you to full extent of mediocrity. It’s actually when I see your power and most especially, weakness and more so mine both that I understand that words are just text on a digital page which is fitting, because words truly mean nothing useful today. Words today simply mean nothing.

@herrytheherp.. thank you so much for your kind words :) I wish you love and laughter and Happy Valentine's Day to you as well :) Regardless if you did or din't hear it.. here it is again :) xo @thisisgoingtobeokay I am so proud you are making strides to feeling beautiful again. I say "feeling" because you actually are in the present .. you just may not be feeling as such and that is a true pity. Glad you're feeling yourself again... beautiful. @WCSDancer :) love ya xo @victoriaxxx Bloom away.. the world is better for it as well as you :) Love ya Hopp peeps. Peace and love xoxo

And, if the night didn't meet your expectations, then try to dream again :)

Hello, full moon. What lessons will you be teaching tonight? While the sun sleeps and you are wake, what do you bring into being for us? All. We look up to your pearl white luminescence and become in awe of your humility and the gorgeous gray seeking of everyone under your light. Of us, and, your spots and flaws and pockets of mystery. You are an existence that few will reach, but observe always from a distance. It’s becoming and beautiful and, truth. We may never understand. Yet, we will always try. My heartfelt wish for all of you, tonight. Is that you dreamed tonight. Nothing starts anywhere. Without, a dream, first, loves. xoxo Hope the most perfect night for all. Where ever you are, Love, Nic.. xoxo

Reminder.. doubt creeps in regardless of herpes. Even good relationships, thus far, make us doubt we deserve. It's all hard, loves. No matter.

Latest Poem It’s amazing to me how when you leave, I go right back to that place, that spot that I’m familiar but becomes my cross. Do I believe you to be the elusively that becomes the mystery that I don’t know but you do, you leave to me and I just don’t know. Only time will tell if this connection that’s now a misty fog will become a part of my history and so I believe for hope. Cause in the little hours of this night, I miss you. Most. Hope. You are such crusty crux. A fickle maiden, that I have I made you to elude me to cut, that I don’t know. As I sit here indisposed about my other’s intentions. I wonder. What will our end or a beginning is in believing a fallacy for hope? Trust. I am praying for the beautiful. The everlasting blessed of once, in our lifetime. No matter. Trust and hope prevail though terrified, I contemplate the uncertainty of the unknown, afraid but ever so aware of your awesome energy. That it effects me. Here. And, now.

Oh, how I relate. Time touches all of us in some way with its crux of lessons before the real. Hope. Never lose it. Be open. This isn't herpes specific .. it's yearning. My wish.. hope.. prayer.. is that all those that yearn shall receive. It isn't specific to individual because we all have lessons to learn before the good grace of, "WOW! This is it."does cross collectively, herpes or not. May all yearning hearts receive tonight and always. This isn't herpes related .. it's timing. It's time. Don't give up on true love for the mediocre of right now. Gosh! Now, that would be a heart break. KEEP TRYING. You deserve everlasting. We all do. Keep Pandora's box of hearts close. Your turn will come and it will be amazing. Believe. #Strength #ItIsWhatMakesusAmazingPeople xoxoxoxoxo Kisses to you on this nearly V-day. LOL I'll send you a Russell Stover's choco box if it helps LOL. Ahhh Marketing and made up holidays that hit home. :) xoxoxoxooxo

Hi my amazing forum, Let's not forget that Herpes separates the "wheat from the chafe" and that mentality. No matter how you disclose, the point is that you do in the space you are in at the time of.. there are better ways for sure but a huge step has been taken. You disclosed. So special. Vulnerability. Chance of rejection. HUGE!!! And, the universe, in all its glory, points us toward those who should be in our lives at the time of our mental place and those that do not. You did the right thing and even though you trusted.. he may not trust you.. yet. And, its all OK. He has a right to say OK or No. It separates.. but for the right reasons. And, in this aerial view of the world, we recognize our choices of who should surround us. Give him time to absorb and if that time is too long for you.. move on from this place. You do have a choice in this too by his reaction. Its not only him in this.. its you as well. You could be the most charming in a disclosure and be charmed or you could choose. This isn't you accepting him or begging him to accept you.. so OK you do accept so now I'm with you.. it's I'm with you because I choose you. It's reciprocal. Remember your power. Remember it always. You have a choice by his reaction of you disclosing and being a good person. He does too. Don't be afraid of losing that which does not serve you or us as a forum or community. You deserve love. And, if this is or isn't ... the challenge is there presented by circumstance. If he cannot accept this small thing how would you fare in the bigger challenges the universe creates for us. Be strong, love. Realize your power and strength. You DO have a choice too. It's your choice too. xxx Much love. xoxo

Omg @thisisgoingtobefun .. So much with @wcsdancer, right? :) Awesome!!!

Hello (h)opp' peeps! Just a note to Adrial and WCSDancer (Pam).. loved the skype "radio" session. Nice to see y'all conversing so casually and cool. It's like watching good ol' friends 'round a table. :) Lots of good information in there! Would highly recommend if you're a newbie on this forum to check it out! Hope all is well, loves :)

@Xoxochanellove I'm type II.

@Xoxochanellove I feel the same with every healed outbreak (two times a year now.) xoxoxo

You know, xoxochanellove, I hope you read through this forum and will read mine too, a veteran of seven years this May, that everyone has "stuff". It's funny in my recent successful (btw:)) disclosure, I was the normal nervous to tell someone I cared for that I have HSV2, and wondering if he would treat me differently after I told in honesty and care. I was completely surprised after disclosing because he disclosed things about his past only because he felt comfortable because I was so vulnerable with him. The confession wasn't health related at all actually but both brought us closer. Herpes is a funny disease. It helps us to filter out all the ones who aren't right. It gets us used to being strong emotionally and honestly finds the right, loving partner. No, it's not a gift, it's a lesson in understanding who should be in our life and who should not. We are the gift because we are so good that we're just that honest. :) Reach out anytime on your new journey. Welcome, love. Welcome.

Shout out to you both... to those who give, may they equally receive.