Notgoingthere

Don’t be disgusted with yourself! Have you looked up the stats! 1in like 6 people have genital herpes! Are you on medication to prevent the outbreaks? It’ll be okay you can still go to college and party. The only thing you’ll be missing is the random sex with guys and trust me.. ITS NOT WORTH IT! Did you tell the guy you were positive for herpes? I mean he has it to obviously and all these people have herpes on here too, so you aren’t alone.

That’s how my initial outbreak started, but they actually turned into blisters and spread everywhere! It could be something else. And if you’re taking the medicine it should be going away

No but I’ve only had one outbreak so far. Have you asked your doctor?

I honestly don’t know what to tell you @Jenn88! I wish I knew. I am the type of person who loves loving.. i don’t know I keep going back and forth should I just risk the rejection and keep trying to find someone or should I just give up momentarily until I get answers.

So I just wanted to know what all of you guys do? Dating online is what most people do now a days, so do you just go throw it on your page...”hey I’ve got herpes don’t swipe right if you can’t deal.” Or do you guys wait till your in a commited relationship first? So yea I think this will be a helpful thread.

I have type one genital herpes and type 1 oral herpes. That is really strange that you guys keep getting a positive then a negative. It’s a pretty standard test from what my doctor told me. I didn’t even get blood work. She swabbed the sore and then 7 days later got the call.

Thank you @annalove for responding. I was on tinder for a year and I’ve been rejected constantly. Did you tell them first thing on tinder?? The guy was actually older then me, he was about to turn 26. How exactly do you bring up the topic?! I don’t want a guy too old for me because then it gets a little weird, I’ve tried going out with a 28 year old and it was a little strange. Maybe it was just the man though.. I’ve told about 8 guys that I met on tinder that were 21-26 and all of them rejected me, so I guess I fall under the 25%. I honestly don’t know if it had to do with the way I said it or what, but most of the guys blocked and deleted me so I can’t even ask. And the ones that didn’t keep patronizing me telling me, “you’re too beautiful to not find someone! Someone will be understanding and put up with it” It’s just exhausting people defining me by the herpes instead then defining me as the loving, funny, caring individual that I am.

It will be okay! Most parents don’t pass it on to their kids or in most cases they will get oral herpes (cold sores)... most kids have them anyway! You don’t need to shut down because you are strong! You can do it! Don’t let this stupid STD kill your dreams, your spirit, or your family! You’ll be okay!

You really need to talk to your doctor, my doctor told me if it continues that means you’re not on a high enough dosage! Also others things can cause you to be itchy down there.

I honestly don’t think you have herpes.

From what I’ve been told, so many people have herpes that they don’t bother testing.. you have to ask for it. Also it you have type one oral herpes, which are cold sores then it’ll come up in your blood work so you won’t know if that’s genital or not. You can also get type two orally as well. But I think it’s ridiculous they don’t go ahead and test for it. Technically the most definitive answer to whether or not you have herpes is getting the blisters swabbed and tested. The reason I say this is because in the blood they look for antigens I believe and those can take awhile to build up in your blood stream. Also and I honestly believe no one really cares about those that have herpes in the medical community. (Just my opinion) They came out with medicines to help a little bit, but it’s technically not life threatening...despite the emotional trauma it can cause. Little fun fact that I did was that the first written down case of herpes was during Ancient Greek civilation. I’m so angry by that, that it’s distrubing.

Well I’m single and I’m 21 years old. That’s very interesting but good thing you got it looked at. I went to the doctor three days in a row because it kept getting worse I had large blisters everywhere and I was in so much discomfort. My step mom told me after the third visit that she’s taking me to the hospital... so I had my dad, my brother and her taking me. That was one of the most traumatic moments in my life. My dad found out of course as well as my brother. My dad was extremely mad to say the least. The guy I believe I got it from still hasn’t gotten tested and doesn’t believe he was the one who gave it to me. I did sleep with another guy, but he got tested and he came back negative... So the assumption that I have made is that he was the one that gave it to me... it’s a very complicated situation. Either way I’m not handling it very well.

It’s a pimple. I used to get those all the time. But I don’t even think you can get herpes inside your nose

Do you have blisters? Did the man have a cold sore on his mouth? You need to call your doctor back and tell her your symptoms are worse. Trust me herpes is not worth any suicidal thoughts. It’s manageable if it is. You’ll be okay! The way mine started was a sore that looked like I had nicked myself shaving on my vaginal lip. Then that night it got a little itchy. Three days later I was broken out in blisters everywhere.. there was a lot of pain from walking and sitting. I don’t remember my back hurting though. It is true that the herpes virus does sit in your lower back if you have the genital version but I don’t think it causes back pain(could be wrong again)

Yea I have read that as well about the alcohol triggering an outbreak. I joined when I thought I was getting my second outbreak because I didn’t want to go through the next one alone! It’s so painful and humiliating... trust me I can’t even look at alcohol the same way! Haha! But I was so devastated.. I just want to be in a relationship again... which i probably need more time to seek some guidance first. I am curious and you don’t have to answer this, but did you actually have an outbreak or did you just get tested and find out? When I was doing some reading after I found out I read men don’t normally have outbreaks, they can have an outbreak it’s just fewer men were reported having outbreaks then women. I have talked to one other girl who has it in person, but she’s only three years older then I am and she doesn’t know what she’s doing either. I know this is probably unhealthy but almost everyone knows I have herpes. I don’t like secrets and when something bad has happened I need to talk it out with whoever will listen.. also I’m hoping by talking about it that I’m also informing people... I’m hoping it’ll help with the stigma that we all seem to carry. I’m not telling complete strangers though.

I believe I got it 5 months ago as well. Yea I find talking about it helps me, but I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety my entire life. I was actually doing a lot better then the way that guy treated me momentarily broke me. I had nightmares about it and worried about telling him everyday. I didn’t even kiss him or anything because I’ve come to realize people feel that they can get herpes just by any form of contact, which is inaccurate! But they don’t want to listen or do any research. I thought he was not going to reject me, but he did. I actually drank way to much that night and ended up getting pretty sick and he wasn’t worth any of it. I just don’t know how to deal with this anymore. I have gone through worse, but that’s over with.. this is never going to end! I’m sorry if I’m depressing you or making matters worse for you, but that’s how I feel. I just don’t know if I can handle another rejection like that again.

Thank you! I’m glad I’m not alone. I feel so absolutely lost and I just want to feel normal again! Most days I forget I have it then I remember and the feeling of loss and heartbreak resurfaces all over again. I don’t know how to be anything but honest, but I understand how frightening it is to tell others due to the stigma that we carry with Herpes. I hope everything goes well with your SO! I agree whole heartedly about the education on sex, I had no idea that just by giving oral sex with a cold sore you can pass it on to their genitals! People say herpes is no big deal and it aggravates the crap out of me!

Hey. I’d really love if I could find a male buddy! I live in Alabama and I just have questions and I need a male perspective. I’ve been really struggling lately so if you could help me out that would be great! I’m 21 and a female. If you have any questions no let me know. I just joined so I’m still figuring out the website.

Long story short I had my first outbreak at the end of May. After a month I decided to try and date and I didnt really have that much luck until about a month ago when I met this guy. The guy was super sweet and different from any other guy I’ve met, or so I thought. I ended up telling him that I had herpes through text, which I didn’t want to do, but I was scared since he lives an hour away that when I told him he’d reject me and I’d have to drive all the way home. After he read my long text explaining and apologizing he declared that he knew “I was too good to be true.” Then he said “bye *my name*.” I blocked out names in the picture... I’ve given up on dating and finding anyone at this point but for future reference I have questions. My questions are; how do you guys handle rejection? Have you been able to find someone who is okay with it? When do you tell them that your positive for herpes? How do you handle your depression? Sorry if these questions seem personal but I am so lost! Thank you for those that respond.