Notgoingthere

So I told my grandmother today and it went kind of bad. I’m 22 and want to be a nurse.. I can still be one right? I assumed I could because it’s only transferable by contact. She keeps telling me I can’t... help!

Then that is probably why your levels are higher.

When the virus is dormant the levels could come up as negative/really low. But if it becomes active and multiplies the levels are going to be higher. Next time you have a sore on your lip go to the doctor immediately and get it looked at and tested!!! Higher levels could mean its active so you may.. try to remain relaxed and don’t drink! Don’t do anything that could lower your immune system!

So I went on four dates with this guy! Really liked him! I told him in person on our fourth date! He had an std as well just a different one! He still held me, kissed me, and held my hand. He said he liked me and didn’t want to just drop me... we talked for two hours about this. An hour after he dropped me off at my car he texted me... it was the nicest anyone has been to rejecting me and I guess at least he took an hour to think about it. I’m just growing tired of being rejected. He was the nicest guy I’ve ever met! He was respectful and didnt manipulate me into anything. I really could have fallen in love with him.

She was very lucky to find you! I know this is gonna sound strange but you standing by her and no rejecting her is probably the biggest things you could ever do... maybe be romantic. Get her flowers.. try to get her mind off of it. I don’t know her but whatever she loves maybe get her some.

No I haven’t. I’ll check it out! Thank you @Ishmael

@Ishmael I’m not disputing that. All I’m saying having herpes has made it harder. I’ve been dating for 6 months with it and I’ve only been rejected

Have you been to a doctor about the burning!? It could be something entirely different.. it might even be a uti.. which guys don’t really get but they can.

Sorry I am a female... but I’ve done a lot of research and I’ve come to see that blood tests aren’t all that accurate....if you have any sores immediately go to the doctor because that is the most accurate way of testing if it’s herpes.

From your symptoms it sounds like herpes... but it could be something totally different. If the reappear if get a swab because that is really the only way to know if it is herpes or not.

@Disgusted check out my other feed called how to disclose and when.. there are a lot of great advice on there. I’m not giving up... there are a ton of people on this planet, one of them just has to be okay with it! Or already has it and falls in love with me!

Thank you @100918!That is an awesome plan!!! I think I’m just going to do that. Not really worry about the std until I have to!

Thank you guys! It means so much to me that I’m getting so much support and guidance! If in the middle of the night you get an epiphany on this matter let me know! 😂

@Mar535 thank you for the advice. I’ve been off and on tinder for awhile. If you happen to find another thred of mine called rejection, that’s when my confusion started. Ive gotten a couple of matches and so far the conversation has gone well. I just don’t want to bring it up out of nowhere so when do you normally bring up that you have herpes?

@Guy00 @annaloveThank you guys for responding. Tell me if this is okay, tell them at least after the first date? And @Guy00 the guy above wanted to kiss me but I refused and played it off on our first date.I disclose before anything happens. Before our second date I disclosed and that’s when that happened. I mean I am 21 and I don’t want a guy that’s way older then me, nothing wrong for those people that do that, but it gets a little weird the more of an age gap. I’m trying again and I’m talking to a couple of guys... I believe they are all 25 or older. I’m not about to do that again and really like someone before I tell them... if there’s a connection after we meet I feel like that’s a good time to tell them maybe?? Do you guys do it in person or over text?

Thank you guys for responding. Tell me if this is okay, tell them at least after the first date?

You can have sex whenever, just know you need to talk to sexual partner before you do. No matter what you can spread the virus.. so make sure you’re safe

I think what the doctors meant is it’s not illegal if you don’t tell your sexual partner you have herpes. For aids and HIV it is illegal if the individual does not share their STD. But morally speaking it’s a good idea.

My standards have not fallen, but the fear remains of being rejected because of it. Still in the process of understanding when to tell the person. So far I’ve been nothing but rejected. I’ve tried different methods; telling out right, waiting for a month, saying it randomly... I’m pretty clueless. I have heard from a friend and on here that waiting until you trust that person is better. I’ve also been told by those that have rejected me that I should have told them before the first date. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ Good luck!

I think when it comes to herpes it’s a hit or a miss. From my research the herpes virus sheds and during that shedding time, whether it’s oral or genital, the virus is contagious. This I like to compare to a period. It happens once a month for a few days. I haven’t had an OB for almost 6 months, which is when I first got my outbreak. Unfortunately there is no way to know when the shedding process is happening.

You know that contracting HIV and AIDS with the herpes goes up significantly because they are both viruses. Herpes is a virus that never goes away and our immune system is constantly trying to keep it at bay. I’m just saying I wouldn’t partake in casual sex. Seeing how most of us got Herpes from casual sex... just my two sense.

Thank you guys so much!

So I’ve decided to try again on dating, but idk when or how to disclose I have herpes... I just want to come out with it immediately because I hate secrets, but I know that it’s no ones business but my own.. I really just don’t want another’s incident like before.

If you have unprotected sex then yea you can get type 1 genital herpes

Talk to your OBGYN and get on a different medicine there are I think two others. That’s good that you told him! A little secret is that doctors don’t test for herpes unless they ask for it. If he got a general std test then he wouldn’t have gotten a herpes test! I suggest you don’t talk to him again, you did the adult thing by telling him. I’d also suggest that you keep the herpes to yourself for now since you’re still in highschool.. and I’d stay away from any boys for now. I know there are going to be dances but maybe go with some gfs instead