Amillionthings

Brilliant question @kanoa. I hope we see some responses. It could be encouraging to see it from the other perspective! X

Hey Adrial, I agree. Definitely human nature. Adrial I know you get told this all the time, but thankyou for all that you do. This website and forum is quite literally a life saver. Youre a great person xx

We all hate google haha :). Hope ur enjoying ur new exciting r'ship @okay :) made up for you!

Hi found this: http://earthwindandherpes.tumblr.com/tagged/expression-progress its a 'nice' herpes site...ofcourse H opp is the best! :) but i thought id point it out...as its got pics of H actually looks....not those awful pics on google images....obviously each person is unique....but I Just thought it may be a good resource for disclosure or just in general...to give a more realistic view? X

I found myself in a similar situation. I was seeing someone....thouggt it was just a couple of week thing. ..tyrned into staying in touch...met up again....the anxiety and guilt ate away at me like disease... .i never ever felt so bad in my life....i was in complete denial i had it for years really....butthen i met sumone and i had to face it. I did it. I told him. But hed shownme he was mature patient etc before hand....i was shitting myself. But it was all fine. He accepted. I just braced myself for nothing but hoped the best. You just do what u feel is right. Its an awful feeling...and i completely dread ever having to do it again. Personally it causes me anxiety and worry for my future. I just dont want to deal with this shit...BUT if i can do it. Anyone can. The fear leading up to iy...was more difficult than the actual telling.that bit just made me upset and other emotions. It was a relief to just say it. You have courage...just need to be brave hun. Best of luck. Keep us updated and glad ur still here :) x

And i hope u are feeling a bit better? X

@bj ...you have support hun. Dont let this little blip deter you.it really is the best place to be with this....this is the first time ive seen anything like this ocvur and ive been looking on here for yonks! Look at some of the help and support @dancer has given me in some of my posts :) shes kind, empathetic, non-judgemental and is the best at tough love, when u need it. Shes here to help all she can and she'll help you for sure :) hope ur here to stay :) x

Well done Cicily....beautiful woman inside and out. So brave :) go you!!

@prettygirl ....you don't have to explain yourself hun. I think you are brave to tell people. You are doing the right thing. So many dont disclose...and thats why so many if us have it. Not every guy in his 20's is after one thing. If you meet someone who deserves to be told...and u feel you can trust them...then carry on being the wonderfully honest and truthful person you are x

All sounds promising dancer- thanks for all the effort and time u put into it for all of us xx

And once theres enough exposure....a dedicated team of h oppers....to travel the globe....and edcate it.....until we take back herpes and 'own it'. No be ashamed or depressed or suicidal or lonely. I like to dream :)

Lols...maybe id lose the '!' In ShhhhhTS.....it looks like 'shits' haha! ....on an upside it might get alot of attention that way! Ha

Hey Dancer....i just searched 'herpes stigma' http://www.tbtam.com/2006/04/lets-end-stigma-of-herpes.htmlrched google for 'herpes stigma' Literally its all it needs. To be viewed just like this....with the stats and figures from the h opp handouts. its crazy....all it would take....just to go global. For a week, a month. To have a tag line that sticks like H ....so people can be pulled out of their shame and upset. Wouldn't it be AMAZING!! My slogan is STS....stop the stigma! Sounds like STI, STD..a play on the dreaded 3 letters! Or perhaps Shhhh!TS .....a play on shhh for the silence that continues and secrecy because of shame....?and 'h' for the herpes. Ha....i imagine it on a bill board. A video of lots of different people....ages, genders, sexuality, race, occupations....give a small piece if information about themselves; "im a policeman"..."im 35"..."i am a mom"..."ive been married 26 years" ....."im a millionaire"....and at the end. Boom! "I have herpes"....a slide...1 in 5 of us do.....so what?...Stop the stigma!'... A slogan.....used for herpes and allll the others....might reach and be acknowledged by a wider audience?..i know a number of people who have joked and bragged about having an STD...with no shame...because its curable....its like they got a free pass because they didn't get herpes. Perhaps a campaign to highlight all std's and sti's would hit home and grab more attention? Use the other sti's and std's as a way for herpes to get some attention...to be brought out in the open....rather than just 'herpes'...the word itself will cause a 'urgh' 'hmmm' 'oh no im rumbled!'...i feel it needs to be as accesible as all other sti's / std's.....and then....just maybe....the world will see that actually...its the best of the bunch....it just doesnt have a vaccine yet. I imagine a day where people can say ' i got H....u? Cool...i take meds. Its harmless....just a cold sore. Nothing more, nothing less. Do you remember there used to be so much stigma about it! Crazy! I got lucky gettin H...coulda got a worse one. Can u believe it never even got tested for....so stupid. Its so harmless...anyway you wanna go on a date/ when we hooking up next?' As you can see...ive been thinking about it! Haha. The campaign in my head!

Youre welcome. Every single person on here understands...you aren't alone. Try to read as much as you can on this website and forum. Educate yourself with the right info...its all here. Big hug. X

Let’s End the Stigma of Herpes APRIL 26, 2006 “Jane, you have a herpes infection.” I say the words calmly, almost casually, but not lightly. Because I know what is coming next. The eyes that fill with tears. The sheer devastation as her world crashes down around her… Why do we let this virus do this to us? Herpes is a virus, just like influenza and chicken pox. It doesn’t discriminate. It looks for a mucus membrane to infect, and could care less whose mucus membrane it is. Did you know that the genital herpes virus is the very same virus that causes fever blisters? (There are two tyes of Herpes, Type I and Type II. Type I has historicaly been associated with oral herpes, and Type II with genital infections, but they can each be found in one another’s territory.) When I tell someone they have a fever blister, they barely flinch. So why is it when I tell them they have the very same infection in the genital area, they cry? Maybe it all goes back to the shame we feel about our genitalia. Bardiac tells us that the origin of the word “Pudenda” (Old English for female genitalia, and the name of the nerve that supplies that area) is Latin for “Shame”. Infection of the oral mucosa. Annoyance. Same lesion, same virus, on the genital mucosa. Shame. And blame. When you get a cold, do you pass judgement on the person who gave it to you? Wonder what kind of friends they have or what sort of other women they have dated? Even worse, break up with them? And yet, I’ve seen it more than once or twice – I tell the woman she has herpes, and the guy, who probably was the one who gave it to her, breaks up with her. Well, good riddance, I say. He failed the herpes test, a true measure of a relationship. It’s starting to be more and more ridiculous, this stigma around this virus. Do you know that most newly diagnosed cases of genital herpes these days come from transmission of Type I herpes to the genital area (because no one cares about fever blisters, remember)? So now, we are now feeling shame from getting a virus we got because we didn’t care about it in the first place… If it’s the infection itself that upsets you, let me tell you that there are great drugs that can control the genital (and oral) outbreaks, so that the infection, frankly, is little more than an occasional minor nuisance to almost everyone of my patients who has it. And please be careful about letting Big Pharma tap into your shame to sell you daily medication. Use episodic treatment, along with a little sexual prudence, and you’ll do just fine. Just in case you think I don’t know what you herpes sufferers go through, let me tell you that I’ve had fever blisters my whole life, along with most of my brothers and sisters. We probably all got it from my mom. I feel no more ashamed of myself for having fever blisters than you should for having genital herpes. Not to mention you have an advantage in that you don’t have to worry about herpes ruining your wedding photos. Sure, I have to be careful not to kiss my kids or have sex with my husband when I think I am getting an outbreak. And I know that, despite all my care, they may get the virus from me anyway. But that’s life (and love). Of course, take love out of the picture, and the whole thing changes. Which is why herpes is, as I said before, a good test of a relationship. And if it causes you to only have sex with someone you really care about, and who really cares about you, well, is that such a bad thing? So stop feeling ashamed of yourself, and get out there and find someone to love. And remember, it’s just a fever blister in a different place. Nothing more, nothing less.

Ps. Im 29 and not ever truly been in love either. You have a few years on me ;) ....we just havent met the right guys....yet.

Hey Welcome @prettygirl ....so im really happy you found this forum. You are going to find support, understanding and non-judgement. You are NOT alone, everyone here gets how you feel. We have it too! I know there will be some very wise words that will follow to help you collect your thoughts and educate you through this....here you will find the right info, and encouragement you deserve:) Please dont take your life...I know it feels impossible sometimes....but it isn't. We just have to have faith and some hope. I feel like you sometimes. And then I come here and it puts things into perspective. Read as much as you can on this forum. Education on H is key :) Those guys.....idiots! Not because they don't like herpes....that's fine....but because you're a human being who deserves to be shown respect. You don't need people like that in your life. With or without H! Take this as your opportunity to get rid of pointless people who make you feel rubbish and start surrounding yourself with people who make you feel good.....and this forum is truly a great place to start ....well done for being so honest in your story and in how you feel...you have courage and you are brave ....what fantastic qualities you have. Be proud. Be at peace as much as you can. Don't take your life....instead.... Read some stories. Read all our stories. You arent alone. Sit tight...you have support right here :) x

Hey... really great you found this site. You are now part of an amazing supportive forum. So ill leave others to share their words of wisdom. But just want to say u are not on your own at all and a big hug. everyone will understand :) x

Well done! Sooo happy for you x

Youre so kind lelani. Thankyou. I hope youre doing good Xx

Sorry that happened to. Thinking of you. You have support. Many wise and encouraging words will follow im sure x

You are Herry. I hope I can get to where you are. Good on you x

Youre a great person. He's a complete b@****d!! ...excuse my language...but hes just a disguisting person in so many ways. Glad you got out of that relationship...intelligent woman :) x

You got me hooked...x

@herexperience @lelani @dancer @sparkle just want you all to know...the time you all took to write here...is appreciated greatly by me ....i come back here to read it alot....wise words...shared experience...so much knowledge...all in a caring...supportive...tough love and very honest way ....despite some of my responses...youve all still come back with support and positivty ...when many people would probably feel like saying 'shut up! Just get over it!' Lols. thankyou xx