whitedaisies

I think your daughter is old enough to talk about herpes and cold sores. She is 16 and she's had a boyfriend and that is a perfect time. My daughter is 11 and I've already talked to her about it but at a level she can understand. It's only a matter of time your daughter is sexually active if she isn't already and she needs to know how to protect herself and her partner since she has HSV1 orally. I know it's hard. You don't have to tell her about you if you are not comfortable, but you need to open the lines of communication so you can protect her from getting worse things as well. Also, talking to her about intimacy and trust and when the right time for sex is. This is all part of becoming adult and she is definitely at the right age. Don't know what everyone else will say but that's my opinion.

thanks Willow....I hear ya! I loved your last post btw about the condom....hysterical! Made me chuckle.

Moonchild, can you answer a few questions please? What do you mean by constant outbreaks? Do they always result in pimples? How did you get diagnosed with HSV is it 1 or 2 and did you ever do a blood test to confirm and at what month? I had constant out breaks 2 in my first 6 months but I didn't turn positive til 6 month point via blood test..wondered if you were the same. Thanks

Thanks Dancer. Honestly, I don't even know if I have any more tears to cry. I am so frustrated. I told them my partner gets cold sores and since I kissed him with one this stuff has been happening. They both refused. I even begged!!!! Out of compassion, why wouldn't they do one?! You know what.....that's what I am going to do next time, tell them my blood test was positive and then maybe they will take me seriously. I swear to you. I feel like my mission in life is to uncover the travesty of misdiagnosis from GPs, family doctors and walk ins. I am so sick of if you don't present typically, you are dismissed! Dancer, care to start a revolution!!!!!

I did a blood test for mono, negative. Ok, nobody swabbed for HSV1 (went to 2 places). Herpes doesn't happen at back of the throat they said. OK, so tested for bacteria...I assume strep. We will see in 3 to 5 days I guess. THanks for your input.

I have never had a cold sore outside the lip area. I have always been prone to canker sores, but this time, I got ear pain, head pain, swollon lymph node and sore throat all on right side and then I look in my mouth and there is a sore deep at back of my throat on right side. Its kind of oblong shape, whitish, I think....in a spot that's so hard to see. Does anyone have oral herpes inside the mouth and where and what does it look like? I am going to get it swabbed tomorrow; although I know I will have a doctor say, its a canker, its just too weird all the pain associated with it. Any comments would be appreciated.

OK, so a lot of us have been where you are. Maybe our partner knew or didn't know. But the feelings of darkness and sometimes depression are the same. You face your vulnerability, you lose your innocence with this virus. It makes you grow up so to speak, that life has consequences, that choices have risks and those consequences and risks can be horrible and life altering. I have been there, trust me. Different situation maybe, but same result. You will find a way out. Your goal is to find a way out. My way out was therapy...it really helped and honestly, I used to be one of those people that thought therapy was useless and totally a waste of money. Now, I go there and I can say whatever I want with no judgment and my therapist guides me. There is no resolution yet, but I am on my way. You will be too. It took me about 2 months to see a bit of light (post diagnosis)....let yourself cry, be mad, be sad, but know that its destructive too. If you let it, those feelings can destroy you and destroy your life and prevent you from getting back to the life you want. Your life won't be the same.... no one's is....lots of people on here say there's is better because of it. I will not lie to you, I wish I didn't have it....wish I didn't have to worry about it. But I do, I have hope that I will find someone that will love me and want to be with me regardless, lots of people on this site do. So stop with the angry texts, its only hurting you. It will push him further away and prevent you from moving on. Keep posting your feelings on this site. There are so many wonderful people here that will offer you support. Use it. And start making decisions to get you on the right path to healing. Good luck

How much lysine do you take? Wondering I am taking1000 mg once per day, should I be taking more?

He could very well not have known or been misinformed. Or he could have known....and if this is the case, I would read all the posts you can on how difficult it is for people to disclose they have herpes to their partners or potential partners. People are filled with turmoil over it and himm and haww for days...worried about how people would judge them. Reading these posts may give you empathy and realize, even if he did know (and I don't condone him not telling u), it takes a lot for a person to reveal this secret about themselves. Empathy may help you heal too.

I know you are mad now, but Dancer is right, you may think suing someone will make you feel better but it actually won't. It will take you down a long road filled with bad energy and will slow down the healing process. Just my opinion, but sex comes with risks and no one likes that we have herpes, but sometimes its like buyer beware..... Good luck to you. All the best in your healing.

Hot showers always work for me. I used to take 3 a day when it was really bad.

OMG, I have those all the time! Soooo amazing! They would wake me up in the middle of the night....nice way to wake up. Damn, they go away with menopause?!!! Thanks for bursting the bubble Dancer.

Good idea about going to therapy. For me, being diagnosed with herpes shook me at the foundation and I went to therapy and for the first few weeks all I spoke about was herpes...it was crazy, but now its helping me focus on other stuff in my life that is more important (can't believe I am saying that...lol...huge step for me!). So, it will get worse before it gets better, but it doesn't take as long as I thought. I have been in therapy for 2 months and I am seeing progress with other things in my life. I am positioning myself to get the life that I want. So good on ya...rant, cry, laugh...whatever you need to...it will get better and you may find that herpes will actually help you find the life that you want. THat's what I am finding.

I had discharge during my primary and my next outbreak. It was yellow, clear and watery. Weird.

Please don't get me started. I don't know how many times a doctor called me OCD...its all in your head....Honestly tonight I just want to sob and sob. Not only is it difficult enough having herpes but to have people call you crazy or give you misinformation is just cruel. I feel so lonely tonight....starving for human affection.....I haven't had sex since my diagnosis and I am just plain scared.

She should do a blood test now anyway to see her status and then wait the 3 or 4 months and test again. She should insist on getting her "rash" swabbed. If her OB won't do it, you should go somewhere else.....especially if she's pregnant. HSV and zoster are totally different tests....he's an idiot! Swabbing is the best way to figure out if its herpes or not...then blood. Good luck

Hi. Very similar things happened to me, so I've been there and I will share my experience and maybe it will help you. I was a bit of a germaphobe myself all growing up....used a paper towel to open bathroom doors, never sat on a toilet seat and never let my kids either...anyway, I could go into more detail but I will sound too pathetic.... Anyway, I had panic attacks and anxiety and depression with my diagnosis. I was put on Zoloft. After about 6 weeks of antidepressants, therapy, and time passing so I could absorb the diagnosis, as well as lots of time spent on websites reading posts from dancer and herry the herp.....it all helps and it takes time. Valtrex, I think made me a bit emotional, a little nauseous, headaches, and I know for sure I wasn't drinking enough water. Drink lots and lots of water with it....it decreases side effects. You should be fine...take deep breaths and talk yourself out of hte panic attacks. Give yourself a break and time and find other ways to help you deal with diagnosis. Therapy helped me a lot. I am nowhere near where I want to be with this like Dancer but I am functioning, getting back into life, figuring shit out.....and addressing so many things that go beyond herpes. I really feel I am having some breakthroughs and I am on the path to having a better life for me. Don't know how the heck herpes will play into my new life....scares me sometimes....but there are millions of people out there with it that are living with it and why can't you and I be one of them?!?!?! Good luck to you....it will get better (I used to hate when people said this, but it does)

So here is the thing, I am going to be frank.... You made bad decisions as a teenager and you are continuing to make bad decisions as an adult. I know they were done out of what you thought was love or losing your love and so that makes us do silly things sometimes. I am guilty of that as well. A lot of people are. So you've made mistakes, big ones, but it seems like now you are trying to take responsibility and ownership for them which is part of growing up and being a man. So embrace this difficult situation as a test of your manhood and your ability to find out what true love really is. You have a child, a woman you love and now its time to take ownership for what you've done and figure out how to move forward for everyone. What does that entail? AN APOLOGY....a sincere one.....a heartfelt one.....take the beating she will give you and tell her you will still be around when the shock wears off. That you want to love her and your child and you are committed to doing everything you can to help and support them. I wish you the best; I am in a rough predicament myself and I can really sympathize with you. But with our decision to have sex, comes responsibility and now its time for you to show that.

You sound like a sweet mom. I told my mom and I'm 40 something and it was very difficult, but the role of a mom in a situation like this is not to be judgmental, not to tell her there is a cure or she can cure it herself (that's brutal), the role of a mom (in my opinion) in this case is: - to be there to listen to your daughter when she cries or is having a bad day (hugs are good) - to bring her to her appts if she doesn't want to go on her own - to help get her introduced to this site (I found it on my own and really helps talking to people anonymously) - to bring her her favourite junk food to cheer her up - to tell her its hard now, but it will get better I found that when I was diagnosed with herpes, the overwhelming feeling was loneliness, like I was in it myself, like I was never going to have human physical connection again, that was really the most difficult part. Having human physical connection is a part of life.....tell her to get on this site, it will help her see what life is life after diagnosis. And give her lots of hugs. Good luck

I have lower abdominal pain with my outbreaks....like lower pelvic pain. Its not extremely painful, but it is bothersome. Maybe you are just shedding and not having an official outbreak. Can I also ask you if you get any changes in vaginal discharge?

How often are frequent outbreaks? Have you gone to see a gynaecologist?

Good luck.....keep your disclosure simple so as not to overwhelm but still filled with facts and there is nothing wrong with showing a little emotion....tell him you feel emotional because you feel a connection with him and you want to confide in him because of it and you trust him with your secret. Emotion is good sometimes if you don't get too overwhelmed, it shows you care about him and that's a good thing. So I hope it goes well and of course, Dancer always has the best advice..... :)

I am on anxiety meds and Valtrex. I was on Valtrex first and I was super emotional and super tired. Then I went on Zoloft and Valtrex. It didn't increase my panic attacks...stabilized me. But I do agree with Virus Enhanced, consult your pharmacist. Also, I suggest going to your doctor and rhyming off the symptoms you are experiencing so they can assess what's going on. It's hard when you are on 2 medications to distinguish what side effects are from herpes, which ones are from Valtrex and which ones are from your anti anxiety ones. I still struggle not knowing which causes which. I also would recommend keeping a diary of what happens to you when you have the panic attacks...what preceeded, what followed, time you took your meds and which meds, etc. Good luck

I would suggest going to OBGYN too

Sounds familiar....ugh....I tested positive at 6 months though. Good luck