Sil88

A blister caused by whitlow wouldn't stay for 2 months, and the fact it's a single bump rather than a few blisters makes me a little dubious that it's herpes. Even a visual diagnosis isn't very accurate though, so one based on a description of a bump is worth very little. Have you got any photos of the one on your finger? When they swabbed your finger, did they open the bump at all? If it's been over 3 months, you could get a blood test done. Just dont freak out if it's positive for type 1.. that's the case for most people without genital herpes.

Not a bad summary from the doc, but I would disagree with "you can't catch hsv1 whitlow from fingering someone with genital herpes." Since about half of new genital infections are hsv1, and I think I read months ago that whitlow is more commonly hsv1. I'd imagine you've had it as long as you've had oral herpes, and maybe you sucked your finger or bit your nail at the time. It's easy to not notice minor symptoms, or the virus couldve skipped an OB or laid dormant for all this time. I wouldn't worry about it though, just be careful whilst you're having outbreaks... The skin is pretty thick on your hands and fingers.

Originally it was bruising around a hangnail, then months later I had a few blisters on the knuckle closest to the nail, then months later I had a few exactly where Rain's are. I haven't swabbed them but I think it's quite a safe assumption. Next time I will.

@2Legit2Quit yes exact same location, even though it originally entered through a hangnail at the tip of the same finger.

Don't worry, it only came from your mouth and its hsv1 so it's less likely to pass to genitals than mine, and in that sense, it's relatively stigma free. Whitedaisies was right about your body having it under control though. 10 years is a long time! We're still just assuming though.. I plan to get a blister swabbed next time it appears there.

It looks like yours at that stage, yes. Mine were a bit brighter and more spaced out though. Yes, same.. red spot, then little hole appears like a bubble, then the bubble turns white, then they gradually fade away. No, my whole finger doesn't hurt.. just the blisters when touched.

Well whatever it is, I get the exact same thing. Haven't had it swabbed but I assume its hsv - it started at the same time as in the other location, but via a hangnail. About 8 months later, I noticed an OB in the same place as you. Mine can be quite painful when brushed against another finger though. Hope it helps..

Although generally the longer you have it, the less active the virus is.. I think this trend tapers off later in life. I've heard from people in your age bracket that OBs start to occur more often, so I'd imagine shedding would too. I'm going off very little evidence though, just one person's experience and a bit of logic..

In that case, yea.. and better to fold than bluff your way to the river.

I know you're looking for some new metaphors, but I'm not loving the poker one. Wouldn't want anyone to 'fold' because they were dealt herpes! I think the lethargy is as likely to be from the immune system using extra resources to fight infection - I experienced it for a long period of time but only took valacyclovir a couple of times.

Having been in the same situation, you have to think positively and assume everything will be ok. This is torture for people who assume the worst, it's enough to drive you crazy and trigger more symptoms which you will associate with HIV or something. Please relax, have hot baths, listen to music and don't theorise. If you're like me, you'll think it's stupid to ignore evidence, clues or whatever... but it is absolutely worth it to trick your mind into a relaxing sense of safety. On the positive side, at least you have contact with the girl you suspect passed it on, better than being in the dark.

Hey Cojo, you sound a lot like me in terms of the situation you were put in and the way you're dealing with it. I'm 27 though, and had periods of panic where I wasn't so cool about it. I haven't disclosed to anyone I had intentions with.. but aside from family and best friends, I did disclose to a few girls I met through dating apps since I was curious how they'd react and felt like some support. They were surprised but I think it went down well that I was taking steps to control it, protect others, and was open about it. It didn't put them off the idea of dating at all, although I did know them quite well already. In terms of your talk, I know this doesn't really help.. but possibly this girl sees a lot of qualities in you already that are bigger than hsv. Some guys on here would say to blast it out with confidence like it's not a big deal, but I've always imagined lowering my guard a bit, admitting it's a sensitive point but I have to address it because she deserves to know. I like your choice of Friday after dinner.. interested to hear how it goes. Nothing about that post sounded snarky don't worry, fingers crossed for you.

I doubt I can say anything to change your mind, but I went through months of thinking the same way too. Even after the first test at 3 months+ I was still dubious.. and I actually had warning symptoms. Anyway, few tests and a year later and I believe it. You must be one of those people who expects/prepares for the worst but prays for the best. Don't let it stress you out, those thoughts will drive you crazy if you let it. Maybe have a look for 'nomorepanic' forums under health anxiety - struck a chord with me at the time.

Has it been over 4 months since his last activity? If you got it from going down on that guy, you wouldn't have blisters down below now. Maybe it isn't herpes at all, it can be easily misdiagnosed. Another spanner in the works.. in my limited experience, I don't much trust the UK/euro tests. The doctor here also suggested my giver was negative, but she has it for sure. Swabs all the way.

My outbreak location is exactly where you described @surprisedandsad75

I had pins and needles every day for a few months during my first year. It went away by itself though, haven't experienced it since.

Yes my doctor said she had noticed in all patients with H, they were vitamin D deficient and recommended I took supplements or used a sunbed. In the UK this is also helped my the fact that we never have any sunlight! I wish I'd known this before, maybe it would have reduced the tiredness I always felt.

Hey cloacina, I don't remember who said you weren't pretty but they're full of shit. You've got a Fergie look going on (that's a damn good thing), and the intelligence that comes across in your writing adds to it. Are you an author, movie writer or similar? Because what sounded like a depressing dating profile to you seemed like an interesting character and setting from a story to me. I can't see any harm in having a friend, if that's all it is.. but I can see where 2Legit is coming from too, if he's the type to take advantage of someone when they're down. You don't seem to have the best track record with picking guys so far. But I think there's a saying, that you need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. In your case I'd say it's definitely worth boosting up your self-esteem before looking for anything beyond a companion. Easier said than done, right.. but from an outsider's point of view (reading this isolated rant, at least) it seems like you're an easy target, a diamond thinking it's only coal. (Or something like that, I'll leave the creative similes to you!) If it was nothing more than venting, then cool - hope you're back in the zone now. I had an OB every months for 6 months too, it started becoming every 3 or 4 months after that... so just bare with it.

God knows I drink a lot of tea.. and I do get OBs fairly often. But if they are the trigger then so be it, I'm not ready to test going without it. Never tried the used teabag treatment, where did that come from?

I have to say.. I have a whitlow OB at the moment, and decided to call the clinic to pick up more valacyclovir. I went in on the same day and the doctor wanted to quickly check on me and my symptoms. She was very well informed, and agreed that most of the symptoms which other doctors has dismissed and blamed on something else could and have been caused by hsv. Anyway, I mentioned something about the UK being strict about how much medication they give out, but she said 'noo, we give them out like sweets'. So with minimum fuss, I now have a lifetime supply of suppressive therapy and an extra box of valtrex for the current OB. About healthcare in the states, for those without insurance.. I remember a year ago watching a documentary about Amish communities, and the dad was scraping together funds to afford his son's cancer treatment - researching the drugs and making phone calls to private sellers in order to keep the cost down. That to me is scary, and one huge stress at a massively inconvenient time. Also was reading horror stories about $50,000 air ambulance rides when the guy walked out of hospital within two hours. Even $2,000 for a ground ambulance is bad.. Any idea what % of the US population is uninsured?

There's no way in hell I would take a jail sentence for passing on herpes. He only served 3 months of that sentence, but it's still a ridiculous decision by the court (and also by him to plead guilty). Hopefully a one-off here.

I'm not sure how bad the stigma situation is in the US, but the word is quite dreaded here too.. Well, STDs in general, but with this one you can't just pop a pill and forget about it. I don't actually think many people realise that here. You're both right about the health system.. they will downplay anything they possibly can because funding is so tight. (although I was offered suppressive therapy after 3 or 4 OBs). The nurses and doctors don't bat an eyelid if you mention herpes, but that could just be professional courtesy. Yet to find an active UK forum actually.. only an fb group!

Hi, - 4 years is a long time to build up immunity.. I think you're right about transmission risk lowering over time. - viral shedding is possible around the whole trunk area (roughly what is covered by boxers) but it more likely around your exact OB location. So yes, naked spooning has a very small risk. - for that reason, condoms would cover his mucous membrane areas where a virus can enter more easily.. it's less likely to pass through normal skin without a tear or shaving cut etc. - I wouldn't worry about the hands, but watch that he doesn't bite the skin around his nails!

Can I just confirm (because people have started huge debates on here about this and it's still a grey area for me).. that's 10% over 100 times having sex.. even the results quoted earlier were over an 8 month period. So one time unprotected is essentially 0.1%? Yes I know the result is either 100% or 0%, but that's not what I mean. This seems strangely low

If I remember right, the factsheets when I first came here said condoms half your risk, and anti virals half it again.. Female - male is about half as common as male - female.. So 0.4% becomes 0.8%, and it's over an 8 month period right? I hit the target on week 1, so 1/32 of that is 0.025% likelihood.. 1/4000. I can't be that unlucky. I'd imagine the discordant couples that would apply to an official study have lived with the condition long enough for their bodies to build a decent amount of control over the virus. I'm speculating, but I just can't fully trust the numbers personally. Props for caring enough to do the research though.